


Twists of Fate

by Bellenoir



Category: Captain - Fandom, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Awkward Flirting, Character Death, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Medical Experimentation, Mental Health Issues, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Past Abuse, Past Mind Control, Past Torture, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:24:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 106,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellenoir/pseuds/Bellenoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fire is created from a simple spark. The day that Project Insight came crashing down was the day that Maeve let go of her past. She applied for a medical position within Tony Starks employee to help the man that gave her a new outlook on life. While James Barnes is asleep in Wakanda she works on stabilizing the neural pathways to eliminate the Winter Solider programming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tiger Tiger Burning Bright

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first story, I had an idea and wanted to run with it. I will update as often as I can.  
> "I'll be good"-Jaymes Young  
> defintely give this song a listen, it honestly frames James Barnes pretty well.
> 
> I don't own anything outside of my own characters!!

Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright  
In the Forests of the Night  
What Immortal Hand or Eye  
Could frame thy Fearful Symmetry?  
-W. Blake

6 Months after Civil War

Maeve ran her hands across her face, the glow of the monitor further frustrated her. Every variable has been tried, retried and finalized; and yet I don't have an answer. Where's Tony when you need a useful distraction. She sat up and looked around her workshop, it was as silent as a tomb. The glow from the monitors provided the only light aside from the tank in the center of the room. She stood in front of her patient and gently touched the glass tube, running her hand across the face clearing away the frost. _James Barnes, you're quite the roommate. I promised I'd help you, heal you as you saved me, I'm sorry this isn't moving at a faster pace. I think I tweaked the final solution to condition your body to reject your former brain washing, if I'm wrong it could destroy everything your remember. I'm months behind where I should be, I'm sorry._ A slow buzz went off in her pocket, pulling out her Stark-phone she sees that Steve's calling her again.

“Good Morning Steve, how are you?” Maeve asked.

“Maeve, any news?” Steve said.

“Well hello to you too, I think I made a break through in the chemical compounds that will stabilize his memories and his mind.”

“Why do I hear a but coming?”

“Well, if the serum works it'll be aces, but the inherent risk is that it's untested and frankly I don't want to risk making him a vegetable.”

“I'll be there soon with a few friends that hopefully can help you. I appreciate what you're doing for him, and for me. Even when I had nothing I had Bucky.”

“Steve, I'm sorry, I thought I would've had answers by now, without there being a precedence I want it to be a sure bet.”

“Well I'm sure Buck would appreciate you making sure that you have the correct formula.”

“Yeah I'm sure he would, when will you arrive?”

“Later today, Darcy asked if you've slept recently.”

“I caught a few hours, yes I showered and ate dinner. Thanks Mom.”

“Alright enough out of the peanut gallery, we'll see you soon.”

Maeve ended the call and reached out to check the diagnostics of the cryo tube. _At least everything is stable and reading normal. Do androids dream of electric sheep? Do you dream? I promise I'll fix this James, you don't deserve to be frozen or controlled your life is your own._ She moved back to her computer and saved her work. Looking around the lab she sighed gently before leaning back into her chair. _This would work a lot better if I had his full clinical to work with, if I missed any variables or if there were any that weren't discussed it could set back everything. I need music something to boost my brain back into working order._

The gentle guitar and the familiar lyrics of, 'I'll Be Good', came pouring through her speakers. _My past has tasted bitter, for years now. So I wield an iron fist, grace is just weakness, or so I've been told. I’ve been cold, I’ve been merciless, but the blood on my hands, scares me to death. Maybe I’m waking up, today. I'll be good, I'll be good and I'll love the world like I should._ The steady beat and rhythms made her gaze fall onto James' face. He almost appeared to be sleeping, his eyes closed in restful peace. She could see the lines that his youthful face shouldn't have had to see yet, dark circles were prominent beneath his eyes. She remember that his eyes had been such a brilliant shade of blue when she saw him last. They had held untold sorrow, pain and resignation. They would haunt her the rest of her life. She could still remember the brief conversation they had had.

_“What name would you prefer I refer to you as?” Maeve asked, his eyes appeared to press and scorch her soul._

_“James. I would like that, haven't heard it in awhile.” James stated plainly. “Who are you again? One of the eggheads assigned to fix me?”_

_“Well James, I am one of the doctors assigned to your rehabilitation. I'll be working out a neuro-sereum to help aid and recover your memories along with understanding the commands or directives that are hidden away in your memory so we can erase them.”_

_“Dame like you is goin' places that's for sure.”_

_“What makes you say that?”_

_“Well you're a doctor, or specialist right? Doesn't hurt that you're also stunning.”_

_“They warned me that you were charming James, Steve warned me that you were also a little shit.”_

_“Me? A good Irish Catholic boy, a little shit?”_

_“He also said you'd lean heavily on your good boy looks and upbringing.”_

_“Well I wouldn't wanna disappoint Captain America!”_

_“Are you sure you want to do this? I can't promise that this will be as fast as you’d want it to be. I can't give you an exact time frame as to when we can administer the treatments to repair your neuro pathways.”_

_“Look Doc, I'll be deep asleep so the time doesn't bother me, it's the knowledge of what they've done to me that made me into their Soldier. I want the truth of it all, take your time.”_

_“It would be more prudent for me to assess and reassess the formula, wouldn’t want you to be a vegetable.”_

_“That'd be preferable doll. Why you doing this? Even after what I did.” He said as he ran his flesh hand across his face before lowering his gaze to stare at the floor. He lifted his head when she reached over to hold his hand._

_“You didn't do anything, you were their tool you didn't choose to do what you did. He wouldn't want you to think that you're being blamed. He knew his job was dangerous, we knew that each day could be his last. I don't blame you James, and I never will. I want to reverse whatever they did to you, to give you the ability to make your own choices.”She said as she gently intertwined her fingers with his. “My husband would probably say that everything has it's own time and place; including death. I know you didn't chose to end his life because you wanted to.”_

_James stared at her, his eyes tracing her features looking for any hint of her words being a lie or misdirection. He didn't see anything to mistrust in her. He slowly nodded in understanding._

_“When will they put me under?” He asked._

_“Two days time, we'll have the chamber prepared and the necessary medication to make it feel like you're falling into a deep sleep.” She said._

_“Will you be here?”_

_“Yes I will, I will be helping them prepare you for it.”_

_“Will you be here when I'm in stasis?”_

_“I'll be here working on the serum while you're in stasis, and I'll be here when you wake up. In fact I'll be around you so much you'll be tired of me.”_

_“I doubt it, a doll like you? Ain't no way I'll get sick of you.”_

_“So do you have any other questions? Steve asked me to let him know when we were done.”_

_“No send the punk in, he's probably pacing in the hallway.”_

_“Of course James, everything will be ok.”_

_“You can't promise that Doc, but I appreciate the sentiment.” He ducked his head and unlaced your entwined fingers._

 

It had been an emotional conversation, one that she wasn't prepared to have. It had been a little over two years since she lost her husband. He had been a quinjet pilot that was trying to launch when Project Insight went live. The Winter Soldier had thrown a grenade into the hatch as he was preparing to launch, it had killed Jason from blunt force trauma and hemorrhagic loss. He had tried calling you to say goodbye, he knew he wouldn't make it until a medic could reach him. She still listened to it occasionally to remind herself that at any moment you can lose everything. She wasn't in the Triskelion the day the three Helicarriers were launched and subsequently crashed. She had been in Manhattan at an interview with Stark Industries. As soon as you had heard the news you saw the voice mail that Jason had left her, it would be the last time she spoke to him while he was alive. She still wore her wedding bands on a chain under her shirt, hanging as a reminder to keep living. _I think that's enough of a walk down memory lane. Better run the data again and see where I can improve the serum to heal the damage that was done._ Her security system came online and alerted her to the presence of a quinjet a few minutes from the landing area. She knew she had maybe 15 minutes before her guests landed and made their way to her lab. The numbers that she had run looked more promising than any of the previous projections had conveyed. It would be crafted into a series of injections focused on the major neural pathways, and with each set of injections James' serum would increase repairs in his brain and through out his body. She had based her serum after a virus to ensure that it would be a universal application to heal and improve his version of the Erskine formula. It would be easier to heal everything, over just healing select spots in his body. The changes she had to made to the base serum also would more than likely alter James' physiology. More than likely he would gain a variance of either height, muscle and bone density along with more precise control over his motor functions. Tony hadn’t liked hearing that she was enhancing the killer of his parents, or the best assassin the world had seen. Luckily he had been overruled in favor of giving James the help he needed to recover his memory and get rid of the latent programming buried under layers of conditioning. By using Tony's nanotechnology she could map the sections of James' contiditioning controls, and pinpoint exactly where they needed to deliver the serum. _Well better roll out the welcome mat, sounds like they're here._


	2. Paralyzed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maeve works along side Tony Stark to prepare the nanites and the serum she developed to help heal James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter:  
> Paralyzed NF
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy6_ERApZNA&index=20&list=PLXWn0wLOH6Vdd_1j8D2m3BGirvkAxsmS1
> 
> Italics denote a past conversation. I'd love to hear from you, let me know what you think please! Thank you for reading.

“I had better lighting in a cave. Is this seriously how you work?” Tony asked. “Like what you've done to the place, very reminiscent of Mr. Freezes cave.”

“Mr. Freeze?” Maeve asked.

“Yeah, I keep the lights low when I'm working. I wasn't expecting company today but I'm glad you're here. There's a few things I need you to check over. The schematics of the nanites are pulled up on station 3.”

“Sure, sure use me for my breath taking brilliance.” Tony replied.

“Well just don't crush my monitors with your ego. I kind of need them, where's the rest of the crew?”

“Oh ho she has jokes! Capsicle, and Mother-Hen will be down shortly. I like the work you've done, the nanties should deliver the right amounts of the serum. Although you could get them to work more efficiently.” Tony said before swiping through the blueprints. “I know you're not an engineer, but.”

“That's why you're here, you're the engineer.” Maeve stated. She yawned. “Oh for the record I like working in my 'cave' it has a special type of ambiance I enjoy. I think the issues that the nanites are having with the sequential mapping of the problem sections stems from not being able to see where he's affected with his former programming. I'm worried that I'll have to trigger him to give me a full sequential map of what areas of his brain are in fact still conditioned to follow his programming.”

“You've really been working on this, I can tell.” Tony said while frowning. “I don't think Ice Age will enjoy being under his programming and personally I don't want to wrangle him again.”

“What if I miss something Tony? I can't put him through that, he isn't a lab rat.” Maeve said while she ran her fingers through her hair. “I think that might be the only way, outside of just healing what I can with the nanites, his whole brain chemistry is messed up, he's missing key neuro receptors that help process memory and judgment.”

“So you haven't found a solution?” Steve asked.

“Captain Rogers, it isn't as simple as you're making it. They gave him a digital lobotomy, every time they wiped him the didn't just erase his memory they conditioned his brain chemistry to lessen the necessary chemicals to keep him in laymen terms human. They then used various synthetic chemicals to repress his emotions like guilt, the sense of right and wrong. I can easily fix his body to repair those gaps,”

“You don't know if his memories will come back do you?” Steve replied.

“I know his memory will return, they didn't burn them away they repressed them. The triggers he has need to be reconditioned out of him, I need a neural network done on him as he's triggered so I can conclusively repair the damage, but I don't want to trigger him just for shits and giggles. I owe it to him to help him in any way that I can.” Maeve said, her eyes were lit with a fire that Steve had seen in Tony when he was on a roll.

“Why is this so important to you Doctor?” Steve asked. “He killed your husband, if anything I thought you'd want retribution.”

“Losing my husband was one of the worst moments in my life, you're right. James wouldn't have killed him if it wasn't part of what he was conditioned with. I can't hold that against him, I'm a doctor and I took an oath to do no further harm. Not helping him would be doing further harm.”

“What are you getting out of this?” Steve asked.

“Capsicle, you think you could maybe let up a little? She's doing what she can to help, and you're lucky that shes so willing to help, without her knowledge he wouldn't be cured.” Tony said.

“So, is there Wi-Fi?” Darcy asked while wandering into the lab.

“Ah Mother-Hen has arrived.” Tony snarked.

“You wouldn't need a Mother-Hen if you remembered to actually take care of yourself. So Doc, how's your life in the Bat-cave?” Darcy asked. “I mean at least you don't need to set reminders to like shower and person.”

Maeve stood up and hugged Darcy, she'd become good friends with the PR Manager while she stayed in the tower.

“I'm well Darcy, good to see you, I've missed your play-lists and I've missed the family dinner nights. It gets pretty lonely here but the view is nice.” Maeve said while smiling.

“Yeah he is pretty easy on the eyes.” Darcy said. She watched Steve roll his eyes while Tony smirked. “What? He might be a centennial but he's still hot!”

“You know there's a small wager regarding you.” Tony said.

“A wager?” Maeve asked her eye brows raising.

“Most that have bet that you're fixing Terminator because you have some deep seated crush on him.” Tony said. “Care to give me some insider information? I could make it worth your while.”

Maeve rolled her eyes as she looked between Tony and Darcy. Steve looked exasperated, his shoulders were tense.

“Tony are you going to get those nanites fixed up or not?” Maeve said shutting down the discussion regarding the bet. “I won't help one side or another regardless of what you're all conspiring.”

“So what do you do for food? I didn't bring pop tarts this time.” Darcy asked.

“There's a kitchen I have leftovers in the fridge, and you know I don't keep processed food around Darcy. Steve there's enough food in the freezer stores to keep you well fed, the ones with your shield on them are for you. Tony I have the stuff to make those juices you seem to live off of when Darcy isn't force feeding you. Kitchen is near the center of the compound. I have a few things to run through before I can get the nanites ready for deployment.” Maeve said as she excused herself. “I'll be around in the lab if you need me. I have to figure out the doses that James is going to need. Make yourselves at home, there's enough room that you'll be comfortable. Wi-Fi is up Darcy, you already know the password.”

Maeve walked through the corridor to the genetics and serums labs. She knew Tony would handle the engineering of the nanites without further prodding. The serums were nearly ready, they had a few more hours of incubation before they were ready. She had created them to work with his specific genetic sequence, a tailor made serum. It would definitely give him a boost physically and make him closer to what the original super soldier serum would have done for him. It would heal the damages to his brain tissue as well, but getting the coding right to restore what he lost would be a long road. It would take time, something that Steve didn't seem to understand. The serums were designed to over come the original genetic code, while his physical self would be enhanced the brain needed time to adjust and over come the damage done. The synthetic chemicals that Hydra had been pumping into him were gone, but his body hadn't started to create the correct amounts of the neurochemicals that were necessary to help him function. They had been damaged with the constant mind wipes. His limbic system was severely damaged, which controlled the aspects of emotional control. She sat and thought about a conversation she had with James before he went under.

_“James are you having issues sleeping? I find you in my labs more often at night.” Maeve asked, she glanced at the clock and saw it was a little after 3 I the morning._

_“I can't escape the dreams, or maybe they're memories. I see faces and things I've done, and I can't turn them off.” James replied while he fiddled with an stress ball in the shape of an atom. “Part of me knows this is penance for what I've done, I deserve to remember every person I've killed.”_

_“Is that the Catholic guilt coming out?” Maeve asked as she stood in front of him. “You need to sleep James, your body needs to rest. I can make something to help you sleep without the dreams if that's what you wish.”_

_“I suppose, was raised Catholic my whole life before the war. Used to pray, at least at first.” James said while looking into her eyes, they were a rich chocolate color with flecks of amber spread through the iris. He reached out and touched her necklace, the intertwined rings spun on the chain. “Shouldn't I pay for what I've done?”_

_“I think you've paid your debt James, the guilt you carry, those memories you have, your debt is paid.” Maeve replied before reaching out and gently touching his shoulder. “Do you want the memories? All of them?”_

_“I don't know. I don't wanna talk about it.” James replied before dropping her necklace. “I know you have a job to do, but right now I don't wanna think about it. It consumes me, it's eating me alive. The knowledge of what I've done, it's coming back in flashbacks, I see the terror in my targets eyes. Sometimes they beg me to let the live, sometimes they sit with a resigned look on their face.”_

_“Well it's up to you, what you want me to fix. I can try to only bring back the memories of your youth, maybe those that you want to remember but I can't guarantee that those are the only ones I heal. I'm sorry. I wish you weren't burdened with that pain, you don't deserve that.” She said._

_“How can you forgive me so easily?” James asked before reaching out and caressing her waist._

_“You weren't in control, my husband was also a very forgiving man. I don't hold you responsible for what happened, you were a tool. I don't blame a scalpel for cutting me, I blame my carelessness.” Maeve said as she cupped his cheeks in her hands. His eyes shone with a wonder, they felt like they were searching her very soul for answers she wasn't sure she could give him. She let her hands drop back down to hold his hand in hers._

_“I am sorry Doc. It wasn't my choice, but I'm still sorry that I cost you happiness. Where were you?” James said morosely.”I didn't hurt you did I?”_

_“You can call me Maeve, I think we're on a first name basis. Thank you for apologizing, even though you don't need to. I was in New York at an interview for a position with Stark Enterprises. I was interviewing as the Chief Medical Officer, I had some stiff competition but I was assured that I was the most qualified because of my research on the super soldier serum.” She gently replied._

_“Bet you were also the most beautiful applicant as well.” James said with a familiar smirk appearing on his face. His thumb was drawing small circles on her wrist. He pulled her closer to him until she was sitting across his knees. “I think I would've liked meeting you under different circumstances.”_

_Maeve sat still, this was crossing boundaries that she wasn't sure were appropriate. She had spent a lot of time with him before, he would cycle between cold indifference but he'd always end with being charming. She knew that it came second nature to him, Steve had said that much to her._

_“James.” Maeve said slowly hushed and quiet._

_“Please let me hold you, you tether me to the here and now.” James said quietly while he cradled her against his chest. “You make the voices quiet when I'm with you. I feel more like myself when I'm with you.”_

_“Steve's going to kill me if he found out we are this familiar with each other.” Maeve said as she leaned against his broad chest._

_“Doll he already knows.” James said with that self satisfied smirk. He could smell the lotion on her skin, a rich vanilla with hints of citrus, a warm comforting clean smell. His fingers traced her spine, he felt her breath catch before he added, “He asked me why I was always around you, and I told him it's because you kept my demons away.”_

_They sat in the quiet of the moment, gently wrapped around each other. He wrapped his arm around her cradling her against his chest, her head fit against his shoulder perfectly while her legs dangled across his lap. He could feel her tremor slightly as he stroked her arm, it felt natural to hold her. He inhaled the sweet scent of her lotion, and buried his nose against her rich onyx hair. He wanted to commit this to memory, a sense of calm washed over him. He felt guilt, he was holding someone elses loved one. He had executed her husband, he remembered throwing the grenade into the hatch of the Quinjet. He closed his eyes slowly, wishing that he could stay frozen in this moment, this perfect quiet moment. He knew it couldn't last, he looked up and saw Steve standing in the lab, glaring at Maeve._

_“So this is what Stark is paying you for?” Steve said acerbically, he watched her jump to her feet a look of shame on her face. “Bucky wondered where you wandered off to.”_

_“Yeah, told you she helps calm my demons.”_

_“I'm sure that's all she does for you.” Steve said moodily._

_“Don't bite her head off, I came to her not the other way around!”James said, his eyes held a fire that Steve hadn't seen in a long time. “We're both adults, fully capable of making our own decisions. She gives me a sense of peace.”_

_“It's okay James, I have to run some numbers and see if the test batches are finished curing. Steve's right, I've grown too accustomed to you, I should remain more objective. I'm sorry, as your primary doctor I shouldn't,” Maeve started saying before James cut her off. He stood in front of her and reached out to touch her cheek._

_“Doll you've got nothing to apologize for.” James said as he ran this thumb across her lips. “Alright, guess I'll go and try and sleep.”_

_“Did you want me to get you something to help you sleep?” Maeve gently asked. “I have some tea, or there are prescriptions I can get for you.”_

_“No doll, I'll just try and go back to sleep the old fashioned way. Unless you wanna join me?” James asked with a look of pure innocence._

_“Alright Buck leave the doctor to her work. You should probably get some rest though, it's late.” Steve said. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest._

_“Is this the part where I agree that he can be a little shit?” Maeve asked._

_“You don't have to agree, he is a little shit.” Steve said with a tight smile, he ushered James out of the room._

_“What no goodnight kiss? I'm hurt doll!” James called as he left the lab. “Honestly Steve, why are you such an ass to her? She helps me through a lot of what I need her to.”_

_“Buck, I know you can charm your way into her heart but think of it from someone elses perspective. You're going under soon, and she needs to keep her head on track.” Steve said carefully stopping_ in the hallway to face his friend.

_“You don't think I know that, she asks me what's important to me. I may never get my full memory back, you want me to be the Bucky you grew up with. I ain't him. I may never be him again and you've gotta make peace with that. She makes me feel like I'm human, I feel something around her. I'm not trying to steal her heart, I killed her husband, did you know that? Threw a grenade into his Quinjet, without thoughts of him being someones loved one. Snuffed out his light so easily. She forgives me, she doesn't want to hurt me, she would rather heal me regardless of my past. Sorry I wanna cherish the few quiet and calm moments. She doesn't look at me like a science project either, she looks at me like I'm a miracle. She doesn't judge, she doesn't hate me, she doesn't look at me like I'm the ghost of someone she knew either.” Bucky said. He met Steve's crystal blue eyes, he could see him flinch when he mentioned being a ghost. “I don't say it to hurt you, this is the best route for all of us. If she can fix my head,it's what I want Steve. I appreciate all you've done for me. I do, just don't be too hard on her. She's a good woman, just watch over her for me.”_

_“I'll keep an eye out for her. I will try and be less of an ass. Sure I miss the guy I grew up with, I just want to see you healthy again.” Steve said. Truthfully he never thought about how Bucky felt with his memories or his personality, he had been under the assumption that Bucky would want to be the guy that he remembered. “No matter what you've been through you're still the jerk I remember.”_

_“I'll be with you until the end of the line.” Bucky replied._

_“I kind of want to punch you.” Steve said with a broad smile on his face._

 

Maeve checked the final numbers and it looked promising. She had to get Tony to finish the final details of the nanites, before she could begin the sequence of taking James out of cryogenic storage. As soon as he was awake she could start with the first set of injections that would begin healing him. She grabbed her phone and called Tony.

“Tony, did you get the batch of nantites ready?” Maeve asked.

“As ready as they'll ever be, your serum ready?” Tony asked.

“Yes, the numbers are very promising. I'm confident in their ability to fix everything. His memory is going to take a lot longer than just a series of injections, he will need consuling, and physical rehabilitation. What about his arm?”

“His arm will be ready by the end of the week, probably a good idea to do it after he's fully thawed honestly, too muich and it'll over whelm him. Your serum will be transcribing his gentic code correct?”

“Not so much as transcribing it, as rewriting it to become the optimal code that nature could have given him. He will be more enhanced than we originally projected, stronger and faster. I know you were concerned about it, but it won't make him quite like Steve.”

“Yeah we don't need Robocop to be stronger he's already a handful as enhanced as he is.”

“Most likely with his build he'll be more agile, and faster, he doesn't have the pure bulk that Steve was gifted with. Mentally his memory should heal and become more editic, if I'm not mistaken. Do we have someone picked for the therapy portion of his recovery?”

“I figured Wilson would fill that position, he's helpful right?”

“Wilson would be great but a lot of the heavy stuff he needs someone that doesn't have any association with. I know Wilson gave us a few good recommendations. He'll have to meet with them and see if they work well, I'm worried Tony.”

“About?”

“What if I screw up, I don't want to hurt him, he's been abused for so long.”

“Mae, you're a genius, you're doing all you can and based off of your data, you'll fix him. A lot of his recovery will be based off of how he handles it, he will need a strong support system too. Alright enough of this emotional stuff I don't like feelings, let's get down to business and get this ready to implement.”

Maeve hung up the phone before looking at the tubes of the serum. The ones that were going directly into the nanites were a blue, the ones that were going to be injected into various parts of his body were a rich purple. She knew it was now or never in a way, it was time to heal the man that she had been watching over the last half a year.


	3. Paint it Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Mae have a conversation about existentialism, James is brought out of cryostasis to begin his transformation into the man he wants to be.
> 
> Music: Surgeical Prep  
> Rolling Stones : Sympathy for the Devil  
> Rolling Stones: Paint it Black  
> Cage the Elephant: Ain't No Rest for the Wicked  
> Rolling Stones: Gimme Shelter  
> Hollywood Undead: We Are  
> Never too Late  
> Good Day to Die  
> Shinedown: Diamond Eyes  
> Can't Hold Us  
> AC/DC: Shoot to Thrill {I had to, because Tony}  
> 2Pac: California Love  
> Coolio: Gangster's Paradise {amazing rap, not a single swear word.}  
> Eminem: The Real Slim Shady  
> Warren G: Regulate

 

I look inside myself and see my heart is black **  
** I see my red door, I must have it painted black **  
** Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts **  
** It's not easy facing up when your whole world is black

**-Rolling Stones “Paint it Black”**

 

** **

“So Doc, how long until we have a freezer burn-less super soldier?” Tony asked.

“Based off of how far he's come, maybe another hour or so.” Maeve said. She looked over at Tony who was spinning around on one of the stools in the workshop. “Let's take a quick break, and then we can go over the process again.”

“Doc, if I have to go over it again I might actually go cross eyed.” Tony whined.

“And yet we're running it again just for posterity’s sake.” Maeve said. “15 minutes and we're back to it.”

“Fine at least you have good coffee, oh and blueberries.” Tony said as he ambled off towards the kitchen.

“Is everything ready?” Steve asked.

“Yes, everything is ready to go, he'll be awake with the next hour.” Maeve said. “Everything looks good, no sudden surprises, which is nice.”

“I should probably apologize to you, I've been riding you pretty hard and I apologize. I know you've been working nonstop to help Bucky and that means a lot to me.” Steve said.

“Well thank you for that, and consider us even then. I know this hasn't been easy on you either.” Maeve said. She smiled up at Steve before she gestured a hand shake. “I have 15 minutes before I start my final preparations for his surgery. Would you want to grab a coffee with me?”

“I could do that, I hear you make a good cup of joe.” Steve said.

“You can thank Tony for the coffee, he always makes sure I have my favorite stuff.” Maeve said.

“Are you confident that this procedure will repair Bucky?” Steve asked. “Not just the physical aspects, but the mental ones too.”

“Steve, as I've stated before, he will heal mentally and physically. Between the serum and the nanotechnology he will be on the road to recovery. What he chooses to remember will be strictly up to him, if he chooses to remember some parts of his past but not others that's up to him. It'll be a long road, besides some physical therapy there will be cognitive therapy sessions as well.” Maeve said.

“Why will he need the physical type? T'Challa will be working with Tony to make a new arm.” Steve said.

“With the improved serum, he's going to need to relearn how to do many things. His biomass will change, that means muscle and bone densities will be altered.” Maeve said. “He'll most likely gain a few more inches in height, and his bones will be denser as well.”

“So he'll be closer to my enhancements?” Steve said.

“To a certain degree, he'll always be lankier and faster than you, and I doubt he'll get the weight or muscle density that you have. His mind will always be different than you, he thinks much differently than you and I won't know exactly what will be enhanced. He'll suffer headaches as he slowly rebuilds his brain for lack of a better term. The negative side effects won't last long, and they'll lessen with therapy.” Maeve said.

“I appreciate you sitting and talking to me about all this, he's the closest thing to a living family member that I have.” Steve said.

“You carry the same Catholic guilt that he does, it wasn't his fault and it sure as hell wasn't yours.” Maeve said. She stood directly in front of Steve and she reached up to hug him. “Let some of that guilt go, and start rebuilding your life, start living in the present and this will all go forward.”

“I do carry guilt, and I don't know when I'll find my absolution.” Steve said solemnly.

“Do you still attend Mass?” Maeve asked.

“When I'm home, I know the priests pretty well.” Steve said. “A few of them were alter boys when I was young.”

“What do they give you as a suggestion?” Maeve asked.

“They help me pay my penance for my sins, but what if that isn't enough?” Steve asked.

“Well, depending on who you talk to, matters involving religion often require a leap of faith, a blind leap of faith. If you've paid your penance then why would you think you owe someone more?” Maeve asked.

“This job, it makes me consider all of those that I couldn't save, not just the ones I have.” Steve said.

“Your job gives you a very broad spectrum of what it means to be human. You deal in the hard facts of life, you're forced to react instantaneously and you have to juggle the various possible outcomes.” Maeve said. “If you didn't react to those specific instances as quickly as you had more could have been injured.

“Thanks Doc, I do appreciate it.” Steve said.

“Did I build more credibility sitting here and talking about existential questions of life?” Maeve asked.

“It makes you more human in my eyes, a quality I appreciate.” Steve said.

“Well I'm glad we're on the same page. I really did my best work trying to fix your friend. Just know that even with the treatments and therapy he will never be the young man you grew up with and remember. He's been through far too many years of being an empty shell surrounded by death and pain.” Maeve said. “He's going to heal, he may not want your explicit help, or he may try to latch onto you as a touchstone. We'll have to see how he reacts.”

“I'm not naive enough to think that I'd be getting back the Bucky I remember, I'm not that Steve anymore, I knew he'd change. I'll be there in whatever capacity he needs.” Steve answered.

“You're a good man Steve, he's lucky to have you.” Maeve said. “Well I need to talk to Tony again before the procedure begins.”

“Thank you ma'am, I'll see you when it's over.” Steve said.

“My friends call me Mae.” Maeve said.

“Mae, good luck and I'll see you soon.” Steve said. He watched as she walked back towards the surgical room. He looked up and sent out a general prayer for healing. He remembered Bucky walking with him after his Mothers funeral, telling him he wasn't going to be alone. For as long as he could remember Bucky had been pulling his ass out of the fire time and time again. He remembered his demeanor after he had been captured, he was quicker to anger, easier to rile up, he was an even better marksman, and Steve remembered a coldness to his eyes. He had assumed at the time that he was just suffering from being a POW, he hadn't realized that Bucky was now a super soldier too. He remembered seeing the unfiltered rage that the Soldier used to fuel his fury, those familiar blue eyes that used to be lit with mischief, only showed a fierce coldness. When he ran into Bucky in Bucharest the familiar banter was displayed until he was triggered, then the coldness returned and the Solider was activated. Steve knows how bad the guilt must be eating at him, all Bucky did was protect those around him, his whole life reduced to missions he didn't need to be a part of. After reading the files on his treatment while under Hydra's control Steve felt physically ill. The torture Bucky had suffered at the hands of his captors was nothing less than sadistic debasement. The treated him worse than a dog, regardless of his performance. He didn't fail a single mission until he came up against Steve, while Steve slept, Bucky was used as a tool for destruction. Natasha had warned him not to pull on that particular string, and part of him wishes he hadn't. Natasha had told him about her relationship with Bucky while they were involved in the Red Room Program. He was a harsh and brutal task master while he worked with Natasha, he expected no less than utter perfection. By training her this way she survived, and Steve knew that Natasha still felt like she owed him a debt. He wasn't sure what Bucky remembered of his time before he was captured, sometimes Bucky would give him snippets of information that lead him to believe that Bucky remembered a lot more than he let on, it didn't make it any easier on their relationship though. Steve sighed and headed towards the waiting room, now there was only time, to sit and wait.

*****

“Tony are you ready?” Maeve asked.

“Yep, the nanites are ready to go. Your illustrious patient is also gaining consciousness as well.” Tony said.

“Alright I'm scrubbed up, I'm going to talk to him before I get his body prepared for surgery. I'll cue you when you need to be scrubbed up as well.” Maeve said.

“So this would be the time to pee, right?” Tony quipped.

“Yes, I'd guess that you have 15 minutes before you need to be fully scrubbed up.” Maeve said.

“Okay Doc, see you soon.” Tony said before he wandered off.

Maeve walked into the first set of containment doors, she waited for the chamber to seal before the rush of air surrounded her. She was able to pass to the next set of doors where a similar rush of air surrounded her. The final chamber used various spectrum’s of light to further sanitize her before she walked into the surgical room. She saw James sitting up and stretching.

“Doc, great to see you.” James said with a slow smile.

“James how are you feeling so far?” Maeve said with a gentle smile, she reached out to begin checking his vitals. When her fingers ghosted across his neck he reached out to grab her wrist. “I'm just going to get your vitals before we begin.”

“Doc, how long was I out?” James asks. He relaxed as she took his pulse, checked his vision and blood pressure.

“Around 6 months, not incredibly long.” Maeve said. She began checking his shoulder, she noticed that the skin was still irritated. “How's your shoulder feel?”

“It feels a little tender but it doesn't ache.” James said. “Steve been around much?”

“In between meetings about the Accords, he stops by to check on you.” Maeve said. “Let me check your range of motion. You'll still feel a little off balance, your body was used to carrying around a heavier arm.”

“So what are you fixing today? Did you figure out how to get around my trigger phrases?” James asked as he stood and showed her his range of motion. He felt off balance, not having the heavy metal arm on made his back feel less burdened, but it also made him feel like he was really missing his arm. He reached out to set his hand on Maeve's shoulder. “Sorry it does feel odd.”

“That's alright and it's to be expected, I'm going to attach a few sensors that will map your vitals and run ongoing diagnostics as you move. Are you okay with that?” Maeve asked as she held up circular patches, they were clear, flexible and no larger than a dime.

“That's fine Doc, are you alright?” James asked. His gaze was very direct and focused, he observed the way she moved. He could see a slight tenseness in her shoulders, and her eye's looked fatigued. “Have you not been sleeping?”

“James, I'm fine really, maybe a little nervous.” Maeve said. “We'll be using untested nanotechnology to successfully repair the damage in your brain and throughout your body, they will be coated in the serum I created to help speed the process along. Think of it like a booster shot, it will enhance you further, but you'll never be under anyone's control but your own.”

“So no more programming sleeping in my subconscious?” James tentatively asked.

“No more programming, and it protects you from ever being wiped again.” Maeve said.

“How? How can they protect me against being wiped?” James asked. “Use small words, some of the techno mumbo jumbo eludes me.”

“They will protect your mind and body, think of them as minute pieces of armor, undetectable but fully ready to form a protective field around your brain.” Maeve said. “I happen to know that you pick things up very quickly, your mind is in a constant state of learning.”

“Maybe I just enjoy hearing you talk about your passions.” James said with a smirk.

“That I do buy, any other questions?” Maeve asked.

“What's a guy gotta do to get a decent meal?” James asked.

“I have a nutrient dense drink for you, but real food will have to wait until you're out of surgery. I promise to make whatever you like, the whole nine yards. I may even find you a beer or whiskey if that's your poison.” Maeve said with a bright smile. “There's a bathroom and shower behind you, before we begin if you wouldn't mind scrubbing up.”

“Will you wash my back?” James said with a look of innocence, the twinkle in his eyes belayed the innocence. “I think I like bourbon, probably safe to ask Stevie, he'd know.”

“You're a reckless flirt.” Maeve said with a light laugh. “There's also clean clothes in the cubby next to the shower.”

“I only flirt with you.” James said. He stood slowly, he had never realized how much his frame dwarfed her. “I forget how tiny you are, you command the room when you speak.”

“Blame it on my genetics I'm predisposed to being slightly smaller.” Maeve said as she smiled at him. “Into the shower with you, I'll call in Tony and being preparing for the augmentation.”

“I'm goin', I'm goin'.” James said with a smile. “I'm glad you're here, I'm glad I didn't sleep another decade.”

“Well Rip Van Winkle, I'm glad you're here and that you're on the road to recovery.” Maeve said. She watched as he sauntered towards the ensuite bathroom. She paged Tony before she finished washing up. She heard the shower turn on and she began readying her play-list When she had a been a surgeon she always had various play-lists created to keep her mind calm as she worked. Some of her surgical staff members found her play-lists amusing because they weren't filled with classical music but instead they carried a plethora of seemingly random songs. The message in each song talked of rebirth, being lost and found, and moving on.

“At least you have some form of taste in music.” Tony said with a smile. “Tell me my soul songs are on this play-list?”

“I didn't include Iron Man, if you're ever under my knife I promise to comprise a play-list of only your soul songs.” Mae said. “Scrub up fully, I'll get everything set up.”

“You're bossy, and sassy. I like it.” Tony said.

“You're in my octagon right now Tony, I control everything in this room. Haven't you heard that surgeons are often control freaks?” Mae teased.

“I don't play well with others usually, but I don't know whether to be turned on or afraid.” Tony snarked.

“In the immortal words of Coluson, 'If you attempt to leave or play any games I'll taze you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet.' Except I won't be watching Supernanny, I'll make a montage of you twitching in a pile of your own drool. I will break out the glitter.” Mae said.

“No. You wouldn't use the herpes of the arts and craft world on me.” Tony said, he looked mildly worried.

“Watch me. I even have the iridescent micro glitter, you'd look like a 3 year olds fantasy Disney princess mixed with a drag queens coming out party.” Mae said with a wicked grin.

“You are not allowed to hangout with Pepper or Agent.” Tony said. He watched as she prepared the various vials filled with the nantites and serum solutions, she was exacting with every movement. Their revery was paused as James walked back into the room. “Terminator, we're ready for you.”

“I've heard, thanks for doing this.” James said as he met Tony's blatant stare. He still hadn't made peace that he was the reason Tony no longer had his parents. He remembered broken moments in time, some featured the way that Howard would joke around as he fixed Bucky's rifle. His memories gave him different points in time, shattered images and feelings. He had memories of his time as Bucky, as Sergeant Barnes, as the Asset; it was like walking into a bakery you could smell the sum of everything that was made, but each individual pastry brought forth specific memories.

“If anything you're doing me a favor. After all I'm improving on Russian tech, if that isn't a reason to get out of bed in the morning I don't know what is.” Tony said. “I know, this wasn't your fault. I may have reacted a little emotionally, but after considering everything that you've been through I understand.”

“If you're still feeling rough, once I'm not missing my arm we can go a few rounds, wear that suit of yours.” James said with a tentative smile.

“Yeah that didn't go so well for us last time we tried that.” Tony said. “I do have a good bottle of bourbon with me to celebrate with.”

“Friday?” Mae asked.

“Yes Supreme Overlord Mae?” Friday responded.

“Supreme Overlord? Tony seriously?” Mae retorted. “Cue up my Surgery Prep list.”

“Yes Mistress.” Friday said.

“Tony I really want to kick you in the shins.” Mae said.

“Sorry that may have been me drunk programming again.” Tony said. Mae couldn't see his mouth because it was covered with a surgical mask.

“So you made me a Dominatrix?” Mae said.

“You look like you'd be into that, maybe or something.” Tony said. “In my defense I was very intoxicated.”

“James, are you ready?” Mae gently asked. She was about to put the surgical mask on when she caught his eyes, there was a hint of fear laced in his eyes.

“No time like the present.” James said. He reached out and touched her fingertips.

“Are you sure you don't want general anesthesia?” Mae asked.

“I'd rather be aware.” James said. “They never gave me anything while they worked on me, I don't know how I'd react if I was put under.”

“If at anytime you aren't comfortable press this button.” Mae said as she handed him a small clicker. “We'll stop as soon as that button is pressed.”

“I'm ready.” James said. “You'll be here the entire time, I'll be fine.”

“Well, get comfortable let's make you into a real boy.” Tony said.

James reclined in his seat, it felt different than the surgical tables that Hydra had used, it cushioned his body comfortably. He could hear the music that Mae had requested, he chuckled lightly when he heard the lyrics. Hearing the lyrics about being made from broken parts reminded him that this was the first step, the first decision he made towards his rehabilitation. It calmed him, soon he would become the man he wanted to be. He closed his eyes and let his body drift as Mae and Tony began a series of injections that would begin to enhance his mind and body.

 

“ _We are, we are, We are made from broken parts_  
We are, we are, We are broken from the start.  
And our hearts, our hearts, They were beating in the dark  
'Cause we are, we are,We are built from broken parts”-We Are- Hollywood Undead

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read my work, it means a lot. The comments and kudos seriously make me do a very spastic happy dance, usually a mental one because I have the rhythm of a middle class white boy. I am unbeta'd at the moment so any mistakes are solely mine, I own nothing of Marvels, just my OFC
> 
> Yes I really did have a playlist for Surgical Prep, I literally have a playlist for just about everything I wish I could save them for you all to listen to.  
> Let me know what you think =)
> 
> Also any good at making banners?? Or have a good site that will help me juxtopose different photos together?


	4. Dialed In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James undergoes his first surgey toward being the man he wants to be.

** **

**Chapter 4: Dialed In**

 

Mae lined up the various injections and nodded to Tony. _Here we go, deep breath and a stiff upper lip it's time. Alea iacta est, {the die is cast}. Red for cardiovascular system, blue for the nervous system, green for the endocrine system, orange for the immune system, a pale purple for the skeletal and muscle systems. Looking into his eyes, they're like endless pools of memory._ The serums that she created wouldn't need a secondary burst of energy to activate it either, no need for gamma radiation or vita rays. By combining the nanotechnology with the serum it would directly drive it into the his varied organs and augment them. _Deep breath._

“James are you ready?” Mae asked. She felt his fingers trace her palm.

“I'm ready.” James said.

“I'm going to inject a little lidocaine into a few areas that have nerve clusters.” Mae said as she showed him a slim syienge. “It won't put you under, it will just numb the area.”

“I can take it without it.” James said. “Hydra didn't care about about comfort.”

“Well we aren't them, consider it a piece of mind for myself.” Mae said.

“Alright, you do what you need to do Doc.” James said.

“Tony, are you ready?” Mae asked.

“Yes, let's assimilate him.” Tony said.

“Borg really?” Mae said. She didn't wait for Tony's reply.

James watched Mae prepare her syringe full of lidocaine, her eyes were gentle and kind. He could tell that she was smiling down at him, even though she had a mask on. He felt her fingers trace across his chest, he felt her tap his chest as she asked him if he was ready. _Ready for what? What will this really do for me? Prolong my already bastardized fate? What right do I have to even get healed?_ He nodded and he felt a brief pinch and a light burning sensation as she injected the lidocaine. She then began picking up the varied serums, she started injecting them by group. Each time another injection was completed a slight coolness burst through his body. It began to remind him being prepared for cryo. _No more cold, please no more cold. No, not cryo, not cryo. Fixing you, god this burns, I'm freezing and burning up at the same time._ After the main injection near the base of his skull was finished his whole body twitched and jumped. _I'm seeing colors, photo after photo of the last 99 years, it's like seeing a photo album for each decade but mixed up together._ His body stopped twitching and his eyes focused on Mae's, concern was clearly shown in her eyes.

“James are you okay?” Mae asked.

“His vitals are strong and the nanites are almost done.” Tony said.

“I'm good, overwhelmed but good.” James said. He looked down at his body and he could see minute differences in his musculature, his arm felt more dense. His body was producing so many sensations, it was over riding his senses. Everything felt sharper, more clear, and enhanced.

“I'd say we did it. Tin man your heart ticking?” Tony asked.

“Yes.” James replied. His heart beat hadn't elevated over a few points during the entire procedure.

“We'll have your new arm ready to be installed in a few days.” Tony stated.

“Thank you Tony, I do appreciate it.” James said.

“Any day I get to pull over one on the Russian's and I'm happy.” Tony said. “Alright, stand up and give us a turn.”

James stood up and looked up at Mae, he slowly turned around in a circle. He knew that he grew a few inches taller, and he could feel the subtle differences in his mass. It was like he was relearning how to move, how to see, it was entirely disorienting. He felt like an electrical current was being run throughout his nervous system, lingering ticks of energy would spike and make him twitch.

“You're still acclimating to your body, it's going to take some time before you feel more like yourself.” Mae said. “You're going to feel both sluggish and faster at the same time, your brain is trying to make the connections between your musculature and your skeletal system more streamlined. Do you need to rest or would you mind me checking your vitals again?”

“I'm heading topside to check a few things.” Tony said. “Do you need my brilliance?”

“I'll page you if I need you, please let the team know that everything went fine.” Mae said. She grabbed a hoodie and handed it to James. “James are you hungry or thirsty?”

“I'm fine, we can go through whatever tests you need to go through.” James said, he slid the hoodie over his body but left it unzipped. He watched the way Mae moved, she gently swayed as she moved he saw that she was inputting data into her tablet. He tried taking a quick step towards her and he felt his body move quicker than he was used to. He reached out hesitantly to touch her shoulder gently, he must have startled her because she jumped lightly. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you.”

“You move as quietly as a cat. It wasn't your fault. How are you really feeling?” Mae cautiously asked. She watched his eyes focus on her lips as she spoke, his hand was still gently grasping her shoulder, he towered over her.

“I feel like there's an electrical current running through my body.” James stated.

“Is it painful?” Mae asked.

“No, it feels alive, like my senses are enhanced. I can already tell that my eye sight is better, I can physically tell that I've grown stronger.” James said. He smirked before he met her eyes. “This has to be how Stevie felt when he signed up to be a guinea pig for the Army. Goes from bein' a little guy to Captain America. For the longest time he was like watchin' a baby giraffe take it's first steps. He kept runnin' into door frames or trippin' over his own feet.”

“Well all those things are true, there will be an adjustment period. I can imagine that he felt some body dysmorphia when he transformed. You don't seem to have lost your grace, or your stealth abilities, I do have a course set up for you to run to see how well your speed and agility developed.” Mae said. “Though I may need to break out my stilettos, you tower over me.”

“Well doll, it's just cause you're so petite, nothin' wrong with that either.” James said while his lips curled into his trademark smirk. He reached out and gently ran his fingers down her check and along her jaw line. He heard the familiar opening bars of “In the Mood” begin to play, he remembered women with their dresses and seamed stockings, it was like he was back at the pictures and he could see himself dancing along with the one dame or another. His eyes slowly closed as he let the music wash over him. He slowly realized that he had pulled her against him, he cradled her against his chest as he slowly began to sway to the music. Without opening his eyes, his feet began the tantric dance steps he knew, he slowly opened his eyes and saw that Mae's eyes were filled with unshed tears. He stopped moving and reached up to cradle her face in his palm. “I'm sorry doll, I didn't mean to make you cry.”

“No, it isn't you James, you didn't make me cry.” Mae said. _If this was any other situation would it have been so terrible to relax?_ She pulled away from him and quickly wiped her eyes. Her back was turned to him, she took a deep shuddering breath before she replied. “It was nice to see you so relaxed.”

“Mae?” James asked slowly. He watched her turn towards him with a sad smile on her face.

“Really it wasn't you, I'm sorry that song, it means a lot to me.” Mae said with a gentle smile. She heard his stomach rumble. “It sounds like you could use a bite to eat.”

“Did I do something to upset you? Was it the dancing?” James asked.

“No it wasn't anything you did.” Mae said. She began venting the external rooms so they could leave.

“Mae, I've never seen you lock up like that.” James said. He reached out to touch her shoulder, and he felt a sense despair rush through him when he felt her flinch. _Not the first or last time I've brought that specific reaction out, just never felt that with her._

The presence of the Soldier's mindset still plagued him, he felt that personality stir slowly, he could almost envision the cold gaze of the Soldier staring at him. _**What makes you think she'd accept you? The pain we've caused, we executed her husband and you're tryin' to make time with her? Good luck pal, you're going to need it.**_ _What would you know about anything? You were created to kill, nothing else._ _ **That wasn't my only job or have you forgotten the missions where we seduced our targets? Natalia wasn't the only one that went on those missions. Does it worry you?**_ _**Knowing that a part of you enjoyed those spare moments, when you looked into your targets eyes as you extinguished their lives?**_ _Stop._ _ **What are you afraid of? That you enjoyed it?**_ _I didn't enjoy it, I feel the guilt of the lives I took, I've never enjoyed it._ _ **You can lie all you want but I'm still here, and the part of you that makes me enjoyed it. We relished the way that their lives slowly bled out, the little light in their eyes slowly dimming until nothing was left.**_ _STOP IT! I am not a cold blooded murder!_ _ **You can't escape what you've done James, what we've done, you can't get rid of me, I am you! Just know that every time you look into the mirror you'll forever see me. She is lovely to look at, so small and breakable.**_ _You won't touch her!_ _ **Who said anything about it being me?**_

“James?” Mae said she saw that his eyes were slightly out of focus. “James?”

She reached out to touch his shoulder, she hadn't meant to flinch when he touched her. Hearing that song while he slowly danced with her brought on a slew of memories that she didn't want to think about. Not until she was alone and could wallow in her grief. As soon as her hand touched his shoulder his gaze snapped into focus. He raised his arm and shoved her away from him, he took two fluid steps in her direction before coming to a halt. The way he looked at her was a kin to how a wolf looks at it's prey. She tried to quickly stand before she held her hands up in an nonthreatening manner.

“James, I didn't mean to startle you.” Mae said. “You're safe, my name is Mae.”

His eyes focused on her lips as the moved. He took a deep breath before he met her gaze.

“I'm sorry.” James said. He collapsed onto the floor in front of her. He felt like a bolt of lightening had hit him directly in the head. His eyes were screwed shut from the assault of lights that were blinding him. He felt her hands reach out to touch his cheek and his neck, his pulse was erratic and he could hear the various machines beeping at a continually fast pace. “Hurts.”

“James try and focus on my voice, just listen to my voice, I'm checking your vitals it looks like there was a surge from the nanites, you're probably feeling like you were electrocuted. That shouldn't have happened. I believe that you brain is rapidly healing and you're experiencing a barrage of over stimulation. Take a few deep breaths for me, I'm going to get a bottle of water.” Mae said calmly as she went and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, she grabbed a small towel as well and began dampening it. She knelt in front of him and slowly began wiping the sweat from his brow and across his neck. “James I've dimmed the lights, can you please try and open your eyes for me?”

“Anythin' for my best girl.” James slurred. He felt her gentle hands working a soft cloth across his brow and his neck. He carefully opened his eyes and saw how worried Mae appeared. “'M sorry, didn't mean to shove you.”

“I know, it's alright. I think we need to get you comfortable, and relaxed. I'll get you to your room, and bring you dinner. I have to talk to Tony about what may have went wrong. How are you feeling?” Mae asked. She stood and offered him her hand.

“Feels like a migraine.” James said. He took her hand as he stood, he could see the worry in her eyes. He followed her into the three separate chambers and towards the living quarters. He didn't feel the presence of the Soldier, it was just him. He knew that he should tell her what happened, but it was like his tongue wouldn't move to explain.

“Your room is next to mine.” Mae said. “Your palm print will open the door.”

“Pretty high tech, way different than hiding a key under a brick.” James stated. He placed his palm against the door and it slid open. The room opened up to a nice sized living room, off to the side was a small kitchenette and down the hall he assumed was his bedroom. “All the places like this?”

“From what I've gathered yes they are the same.” Mae said. “If you wouldn't mind following me to your bedroom.”

“Whoa doll, already tryin' to get me in bed?” James said. His eyes were sparkling brightly, he noticed that the lights were more subdued as they made their way to his room.

“Yes I'm desperately trying to seduce you.” Mae said in a dry tone. “I wanted to show you that I stocked your room with clothes, not sure if you'd want to shower and change or if you just wanted to rest a little.”

“I figured as much, just givin' you a hard time. The migraine is letting up.” James said, he sat down on the large bed before he looked at her. “I don't know why I shoved you, I'm sorry, I'd never hurt you.”

“I know that, I have to run a diagnostic on everything. The contact points are still on, they'll dissolve within 24 hours, until then I'll monitor your vitals. I'm seeing a rush of stimuli in your cerebral cortex, there aren't any major spikes of energy right now, you should have those symptoms abate soon.” Mae said she showed James her tablet, a swirling pattern of nanites worked across his brain. “Are you still hungry?”

“Yeah I could probably go for a good meal.” James said. “I'm surprised Steve isn't here.”

“He is currently in the main living area with Darcy, I think they're making dinner. I let him know that everything was done, and that you're in your room. He wants to drop by when you're ready.” Mae said.

“Do I have enough time to shower?” James asked.

“You do, what would you like for dinner?” Mae asked. “If you could have anything, what would it be?”

“Honestly?” James said. He ran his fingers through his hair and was once again thrown through time.

“ _James Barnes, you best wash your hands before you even think about sitting down for dinner.” Winifred said.”I made pot roast, did you get that loaf of bread?_

“ _Yes ma'am, would you mind Stevie joining us?” James asked._

“ _His mother working late again?” George asked._

“ _Yes sir, she took another night shift.” James said._

“ _Bring him over, he's always welcome to stay for dinner, though I do appreciate you asking.” Winifred said with a kind smile._

“ _Thanks Ma, I'll be right back.” James yelled as he ran towards the front door._

He remembered loving his mothers pot roast, it was always a mixture of celery, carrots and onions. Sometimes she would add potatoes to the roast, and she insisted on having fresh bread. He could almost hear the radio playing as his mother cooked, the rich scent of pot roast beef filling the air while he and Steve sat at the kitchen table while Becca did her home work.

“Pot Roast Beef, with carrots, onions, celery and potatoes. A loaf of warm bread to go with it.” James said he smiled and looked up at Mae.

“I'm guessing that meal has positive memories associated with it.” Mae said with a smile. She sent an alert to Darcy to pull the pot roast from the freezer along with a loaf of fresh bread.

“It was something my Ma made, it was always one of my favorite meals. We'd sit around and talk about our day, laughing and joking.” James said. His eyes were bright and his lips were quirked into his trademark smirk.

“I hope that you're able to make many more memories like that, positive ones. After your shower I'll have dinner ready for you. Would you prefer to eat separate from everyone or would you like to eat in the dining area?” Mae asked.

“Would you mind just meeting me for dinner?” James quietly asked. “I want to know what else I should expect.”

“Sure we can do that. If you're anything like Steve you probably shower quickly. I need to shower still, would you mind me bringing dinner down in half an hour or so?” Mae asked.

“No that's fine.” James said.

“If you want to talk to Steve I have a cell phone for you. His number is already programmed in.” Mae said as she handed him an industrial flip phone. “It's a little more rugged to handle your amplified strength, ask Steve how many phones he's broken because he pokes the screens too hard.”

“I'll do that, thank you.” James said. “Mae?”

“Yes?” Mae said. She watched him stand up to his full height.

“Can I ask you something?” Jmes asked he took a step towards her and gauged her reaction. Seeing that she was relaxed and calm, he held his arm out towards her. “Can I hug you?”

Mae didn't say anything instead she took a step towards him and wrapped her arms around him. Her head lay against his chest, she could hear the solid thump of his heart beat. She felt his arm wrap solidly around her as his head leaned down to lay against the crown of her head. He let out a long sigh before moving his arm to cradle her tightly against him.

“It will be okay James, I promise.” Mae said. “You already made a large step towards making your life your own.”

“Thank you, I'm glad you were willing to help me.” James said, his voice growing thick in his throat.

“Do no further harm. That was the creed I swore myself to as a doctor.” Mae said. “I'll be here every step of the way.”

“I know you will be.” James said. He pulled away from her slightly before ducking down to lay a chaste kiss against her forehead. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome James, now go scrub up.” Mae said with a kind smile. “I'll be back soon okay?”

“I'm holding you to that!” James said. He walked her to the door and as they reached it he touched her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “See you soon doll.”

“See you soon Sarge, go get cleaned up and I'll bring you dinner.” Mae said with a smile. She walked towards her room and let out a sigh. She pondered over why he had reacted the way he did, _after dinner I'll take a look at the data, Tony still hasn't sent me anything explaining the spike in her temperament._ She walked into her room and selected a few items of clothing before she jumped into the shower, she let the warm water wash over her and cleanse her of her worries.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Please drop me a line and let me know how you feel about what I've written.  
> I appreciate those of you that have left kudos, and comments seriously it really does help. Any mistakes that were made are solely mine. <3 enjoy


	5. Shave and a Hair Cut...2 bits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James get's a much needed hair cut and shave. He enjoys dinner with Mae, they talk about the Soldier and who he is.

When did I become so numb? When did I lose myself?

All the words that leave my tongue, feel like they came from someone else.

When did I become so cold? When did I become ashamed?

They must have left, with all my faith.

I'm paralyzed.

I'm scared to live, but I'm scared to die.

And if life is pain, then I buried mine a long time ago.

But it's still alive.

 

-NF-Paralyzed

 

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3DXPJ5IsKk&index=8&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3DXPJ5IsKk&index=8&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV)

  **Chapter 5: Paralyzed**

** **

James finished showering, it hadn't taken him long. He found a pair of jeans and a long sleeved Henley. Luckily Mae had the foresight to carefully pin the left arm so it wouldn't flop around uselessly. _Already I owe her so much, she physically put me back together._ He pulled them on before he combed his hair out. He grabbed the phone that Mae had given him and dialed Steve's number.

“Buck?” Steve asked.

“So, you want to swing by?” James asked carefully.

“Yeah I can do that. Darcy is heating up dinner for all of us.” Steve said.

“Can either of you cut hair?” James asked.

“Darcy has cut mine a few times, do you want me to bring the clippers?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, I think I'd like to have my hair shorter. Did you tell Mae that I preferred a straight razor?” James asked.

“I did, she had asked if you'd prefer a straight razor or an electric one.” Steve said with a smile. “I'll snag Darcy and we'll head over okay?”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” James said. “I'm glad you're here Steve I think we have a lot to catch up on.”

“Glad you're back Buck, been a long time.” Steve said with another smile.

“See you soon.” James said. He quickly hung up and took at look at himself. His hair was long, much longer than he was used to. His mother would have cuffed his ear if she could see how unkempt he looked.

He looked at some of the photos Mae had decorated his apartment with, he saw one of him and the Howling Commandos, he also saw some with Steve. He could see when those photos were taken, and it humbled him.

Some of his memories were just out of reach, it was like watching them on an old television, the clarity was morphed slightly to where they looked out of focus. He closed his eyes and tried remembering where some of those photos had been taken. He could hear the gunfire, and smell the acrid smell of explosives and the subtle hint smell of gun powder. He could hear his friends yelling out when they needed a spare magazine, or when they let each other know the positions of the enemy soldiers. As he continued remembering who he was as Sergeant Barnes he heard the slow whoosh of the front door opening, he immediately went on the defensive and began scoping out the various things in his room that could be used as weapons.

“Buck?” Steve called as he walked towards the bedroom. “Bucky?”

“In here Steve.” James called. He rubbed his hand across his face and calmly walked out towards the living room. “Hi Darcy how are you?”

“Pretty good, and how are you Buck-a-roo?” Darcy said with a toothy smile.

“Better, slowly but surely.” James said with a slow smile.

“Well let's go make you pretty. Not that you aren't pretty now, but you with short hair. Panty Dropper.” Darcy said, Steve just rolled his eyes. “Oh keep your patriotic panties on Stevie.”

“Knew you'd end up with a fire cracker.” James said.

“Yeah she really does make life a lot more interesting.” Steve said.

James sat down at the kitchen table as Darcy laid out the tools to cut his hair. He heard her humming softly as she began clipping the top part of his hair up. She started playing music off of her Ipod as she continued to section his hair.

“So how short are we going here Buck-a-roo?” Darcy asked. “You might want to shed the shirt, so it doesn't get covered in hair, it has nothing to do with me wanting to ogle you well muscled chest.”

“I want it short, like this photo if you can.” James said, he pulled out a photo from his pocket. It was a photo of him before he had been sent over seas. He remembered finding Steve in the alley holding a trash can lid as a shield, he remembered him saying 'I had him on the ropes'. He pulled his shirt over his head and sat back down in the chair.

   

“Buck where did you get that photo?” Steve asked.

“Mae, she printed them out for me.” James said. “You had a trash can lid as a shield.”

“I had to use what I had!” Steve exclaimed. Darcy was laughing so hard that tears were leaking from her eyes.

“Oh Buck-a-roo we are going to be fast friends.” Darcy said. “There are so many stories I could tell you about this guy.”

“I was supposed to ask about your phone, Mae said something about you breaking the screen.” James said with a smirk. He felt the little clumps of hair hit his chest as Darcy worked him over. When most of it was trimmed she turned the clippers on and began evening it all out. In the mean time he watched as Steve flushed red. “Come on punk, she said it was funny.”

“When I first got a smart phone Darcy loaded it with a bunch of games, you have to touch the screen to make it do anything.” Steve said as he pulled out his phone. It looked very sleek, made mostly of metal and glass. He loaded Angry Birds and waited for it to load. He then showed Bucky how to aim the birds at the enemy pigs. “See you physically have to touch the screen and as it gets more difficult, well I got aggravated and I may have accidentally pushed my finger through the top part of the screen.”

“Yeah but that was clearly because it was an inferior product, at least that's what Tony says. You've had that phone for months now and nothing, you even dropped it when you jumped out of the damn jet without a parachute, don't think I forgot that!” Darcy said as she finished his hair.

“It isn't a flying car but it is pretty amazing.” James said. “I recognize the touch screen stuff.”

“Alright you are all done Sarge!” Darcy exclaimed excitedly. “Now I have two pieces of perfect eye candy.”

“Your sidecar is a pistol Stevie.” James said as he stood up. He dusted off his chest and looked over at Steve. He saw a look of longing in his friends eyes, he watched as Steve opened and closed his mouth a few times. “What?”

“Uh, well, you look...you look great.” Steve said with a wistfulness of a lifetime long ago. “We aren't married either jerk, but I am happily taken.”

 

James grabbed the shaving kit and walked over to the bathroom and he slowly brought his eyes up to look at the mirror. He turned on the faucet and began lathering his face with the thick shaving cream, the straight razor was already sharp and he made quick work of the thick beard that covered the lower part of his face. When he was finished all that was left was a clean shaven profile of the man he used to be.

The image of the man staring at him brought back a rush of emotions and memories. He remembered being at the World Expo with Steve, he remembered how he felt that night. He clenched his fist as he remembered the train and the fall, the way he was dragged through the freezing landscape, the hope he first felt when he was found only to be replaced by the fear when he realized that he hadn't been rescued. He took a deep breath and looked into the mirror once again. His hair was much shorter, he ran his fingers through the brunet locks. He thought about Mae, _what will she think of my shorter hair? Maybe I can be the James she sees when she looks at me, the man untouched by the evil, untouched by the decades of pain. I can be the Bucky that Steve missed, his best friend, the guy that always had his back. I. Can. Be. Me._ “Steve, Darcy I'm going to rinse off.”

“Alright Buck, we have to go check on dinner, Mae sent me a text she'll be here soon.” Steve said.

“Thank you both, don't worry about cleaning the floor, I'll get it.” James called.

“Already done Buck, we'll see you soon.” Steve said.

“Thank you Darcy, you're good for him. It's your job to keep his bacon out of the frying pan, I relinquish my rights as his keeper.” James said.

“Thanks, you realize that I can't manhandle him the way you could right?” Darcy said.

“Well I'm only a phone call away, he's a stubborn punk when he wants to be, always digging his heels in when he thinks he isn't going to get his way.” James teased.

“Come on, quit making me out to be an angry kid. Jerk.” Steve said with an exasperated sigh.

“Alright Buckster, we'll see you soon. Enjoy your dinner with Mae, she's a really sweet lady.” Darcy said.

“I will, thank you.” James said. He heard his door close and he quickly shucked the remainder of his clothes off before he jumped back into the shower. He tried to hurry knowing that Mae would be there soon with dinner. The thought of his favorite meal made his mouth water, but the thought of her joining him made him shudder. It wasn't that he was worried about his attraction to her, he had felt it when they first met and it only grew in intensity as he got to know her. She was highly intelligent, she was witty and most of all she was kind. There was an inner strength to her that made him instantly respect her. He was worried about his mind frame, he had shoved her earlier and he reminded himself to check her for bruises. He didn't want to hurt her, he was hoping that his earlier misstep was a fluke and not something he would do again. He could hear drawers and cupboards being opened and he assumed that she was already in his apartment.

 _Well fuck, you can do this, you know her. It's just dinner between_ _ friends _ _._ _**Friends? That's what you think of her, simple friendship?** _ _Why are you here? Can't you leave me alone?_ _**Nope, you're stuck with me, I am you after all. She's quite the dish, why not bring some of that Brooklyn charm to dinner, bet she'd appreciate it.** _ _You don't belong! I don't need you, I don't want to hurt her._ _**You won't, she doesn't scare easily anyways, what are you so worried about?** _ _Since you're me don't you already know?_ _**But it's more entertaining to hear you say it, you aren't afraid of me, you're afraid of you. Hasn't that always been the case? You were ruthless before I was created, so possessive of what you thought was yours. You used me to do the things you wanted to do, but weren't able to accomplish.** _ _No that isn't true, it's not true!_ _**Sure it is pal, I have been a part of you long before we became the Winter Soldier. I was the part of you that made a good soldier, a good sniper, a good killer. We're determined, stubborn, ruthless and possessive. That protectiveness you felt for Steve? They only built on the qualities you had, sure they twisted them to fit their needs, but that ruthless determination to be the best, to never fail a single directive? That's you Bucky boy, that's all you, the darkest part of you perhaps, but at the end of the day, it's still you.** _ _Please stop, I can't listen to this, please just stop._ _**I'll stop once you realize that everything I say to you is the truth, I'll never lie to you.** _ _Fine just stop, just stop for now._ _**I'll be here waiting, waiting until you need me again.** _

James took a deep calming breath and quieted his mind. He could almost see a shadow of his merciless counterpart in the mirror. He saw a tiredness around his eyes, but he looked like Sergeant Barnes. He grabbed his clothes off the floor and began to dress, he debated on putting on a new shirt once he realized he had left his other shirt in the kitchen. _She's already seen me shirtless, won't matter much now._ He steadied himself before he walked out into the kitchen.

“James?” Mae called from the kitchen. She was pulling out soup plates, silverware and glasses when she looked up. She almost dropped the fresh bread she cut, James stepped towards her and stilled her shaking hands. His hair was much shorter, and his face was smooth, he looked like the young man she had seen photos of. “You cut your hair and shaved, wow.”

“Like what you see doll?” James asked seductively, he smirked at her. “Sure that reaction isn't because I'm half naked?”

“James Barnes, you are such a flirt, go put on a shirt.” Mae said. “You do look great, just as dashing as the photos I've seen of you.”

“Thank you Mae, you look great, had I know this was a pajama party I may have chosen something else to wear.” James said with a smile. He closed his eyes and inhaled the rich scents around him, he could almost hear the playful banter in the background. “It smells just like the pot roast my ma made.”

“I'm glad you think so hopefully it passes muster.” Mae said with a smile. She watched as James picked up his shirt and slipped it over his head, she tried not to blatantly stare at his well toned physique. “Are you ready to eat?”

“Yes ma'am, I sure am.” James said. He pulled her chair out and waited until she sat down before her pushed her chair in. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple before he whispered. “Thank you, for everything.”

“James, I'll be here every step of the way.” Mae said as she began serving their dinner. She looked up at James and saw a bright smile on his face, she couldn't help but chuckle. He looked so at peace, he looked happy. “It's nice to see you smiling. I hope this tastes okay.”

“Doll I'm sure it's going to be amazing. Did you make it?” James asked.

“I did, it was something I thought would taste pretty good even if it was frozen.” Mae said.

She watched him take his first bite, his eyes closed and his head tilted back as he let out an appreciative groan. He devoured his first portion before he looked over and saw that she was silently laughing. He slowed down and returned her smile, she looked beautiful.

“You're beautiful.” James said. He felt his cheeks lightly flush, he watched hers flush in return. “I mean it, you're one helluva dame.”

“Are you always this charming?” Mae said with a smile.

“Only with you doll, only with you.” James said.

“Are you still hungry?” Mae asked.

“Since you're askin', I could go with another serving.” James said. He watched her as she carefully ladled out another portion into his bowl. He took the bowl from her and risked running the tips of his fingers across the back of her hand before he took possession of the bowl. “Thank you.”

“Once we're done, I brought over the data from earlier, I'm still waiting on Tony but otherwise we can go over what I do have.” Mae said.

“Oh.” James said. He set his fork down and looked up at her. _**Tell her, tell her about the fact that I'm here.**_ “There's something I should probably tell you about what happened earlier.”

“Alright, how have you felt since you showered and everything?” Mae asked.

“Fine, honestly.” James said. He took a deep breath and met her eyes again. “The Soldier is still in me.”

“As in, still a part of your consciousness?” Mae asked.

“Yes.” James said. “I can hear him in my head.”

“Does he control your actions?” Mae asked.

“He controls my instincts when I feel threatened or if I perceive an imminent threat to myself or my associates.” James said.

“Let me get this cleaned up and we can discuss what we are able to do for you.” Mae said.

“Mae, you don't have to do the dishes.” James said. He stood up and began stacking the dishes before she could get to them and set them in the sink. “I'll get them after we talk, you're my guest after all.”

“Alright James, whatever you're most comfortable with.” Mae said. She began pulling up the applicable documents that showed his brain scans before and after the procedure. “I'm curious, is he a part of you because it's a way to protect yourself? Has he threatened to harm anyone?”

James carefully thought about his interactions with his ghost, the Soldier hadn't threatened to harm anyone, he brought the broken truths of who James was to the forefront of his mind. If anything he had reminded him that Mae was fragile, that she was a survivor of his actions and she didn't run in the opposite direction. In his own way, the Soldier was trying to protect James by forcing him to understand who he is, over who he was.

 _**I haven't threatened anyone, they aren't missions, they aren't handlers. WE don't have to do that anymore.** _ _After all we've survived, you're tired of it aren't you._ _**I was created because you never would have survived without me, you are the sum of the best parts of your own humanity, I am the sum of you that you don't want to admit you need.** _ _I needed you, I still need you. Could we use what we are to protect, instead of being used to execute?_ _**IS that what you want? To be used again? You really wanna be the trigger man again?** _ _Steve wouldn't use us._ _**Steve isn't the only one around us anymore, and you wouldn't be used, you'd do anything for that dumb punk. Even as a kid, always runnin' into danger first without thinkin' 'bout the consequences. Signed up to be a damn experiment and we followed that little kid from Brooklyn that was dumb enough to not run away from a fight. You really tellin' me Bucky-Boy that you wouldn't follow him into the jaws of death again? 'Cause I know us, we'd follow him all over again, 'til the end of the line.** _ _What use are we outside of being a trigger man, a spy. Use to dream 'bout what I'd do after the war, go home work somewhere and settle down. Now? What's left for us?_ _**You could do anything, the trigger words, the phrases, they're gone. If you want to protect this new world, 'long side Stevie I guess that's what we'll do.** _ _Maybe there's a part of this world for us, we can protect instead of indiscriminately killing. Your_ _**girl will see to that, she's a beacon isn't she?** _ _Not my girl._ _**Not yet, still holding out for that ole Brooklyn charm.** _

“No, he doesn't want to hurt anyone anymore, neither of us do.” James says. “If anything he's more protective, he said that the triggers are gone, we're free.”

“From the scans it looks like your neural facilities will be healed by the end of the week, your body is already stronger. I am not a psychologist, so the mental part of your recovery will be handled by someone else.” Mae said lightly. She watched as a flurry of emotions crossed his face. “I will still be here, I'll be working with you for the physical part of your rehabilitation.”

“Well doll, I gotta admit, I might have a few cobwebs that need to cleaned outta my head, but I'm feelin' more and more like myself. I appreciate all you've done for me, and for what you're going to do for me. Doesn't hurt that you're helluva lot prettier than Steve, does he still have two left feet?” James quipped.

“From what I've gleaned, yes he isn't much of a dancer, much to Darcy's dismay.” Mae said with a laugh. “Oh I have video of him dancing with her.”

James watched as Steve flushed bright crimson as he tried dancing with Darcy. He could tell that she was enjoying it, regardless of how many times Steve missed a cue and trodden upon her feet.

“Yeah, still not as good as me.” James said. “When my arm's fixed, could I take you out for a spin?”

“Seeing as my dance card is woefully empty I'm sure I could squeeze you in.” Mae said. “You don't have to wait for your arm to get fixed.”

“Dame like you? Looks like I'll be fillin' up your dance card real soon.” James said. He stood up and pulled her against his chest. He buried his nose against the top of her head, that sweet vanilla fragrance tickled his mind, he could almost taste the sweet sugar on his tongue. He felt her arms snake around his waist, one of her hands caressed his back while he held her. He pressed a gentle kiss against the crown of her head as he pulled her tighter against him. _**She's ours, our best girl, the brightest star in the sky. I'd do every and anything in my power to protect her. We don't deserve her kindness, if I could I would have traded places with her husband.**_ “He's fond of you.”

“The soldier?” Mae asked. She heard the solid thump of his heart and she discreetly inhaled his scent. He reminded her of a rich coffee, subtle aroma's that complimented the rich darkness, hints of dark chocolate with the lightness of hazelnut. His arm was wrapped solidly around her, she relaxed against him, it had been a long time that she felt at peace.

“He wanted me to tell you, that if he could he would trade places with your husband, that's the closest to regret as he gets.” James said. He felt her relax against him and his mind wandered. He imagined swinging her around the dance hall, kissing her breathless. _**She makes you want more doesn't she, she makes me want to see her dressed up to the nines, spin her around and kiss her as we dip her. Think she'd be receptive or do you think we'd get slapped?**_ _I'm not sure, she might be receptive, she's letting us hold her now. She doesn't care that we're missing an arm either, she really is a dish._ _ **Do I need to take over?**_ James continued to cradle her against him. This was enough, for now, it was enough.

“Neither of you need to apologize for that, neither of you were really in control. How should I address him?” Mae asked. It wasn't a clear cut dissociative personality disorder per say, but it was something she would need to research. _He has his own Jiminy Cricket, Bucky Cricket, fuck okay maybe not quite like that._

“What caused you to blush?” James asked, it didn't seem right, him having another name different than his own name he was born with. “Stick with James for now, he isn't so much another person as part of me.”

“Did you watch Pinocchio?” Mae asked the blush still evident on her cheeks.

“Yeah, didn't exactly watch all of it, but I saw it.” James said with a smirk.

“And why Mr. Barnes did you not watch it?” Mae said, she used her hand to cover her mouth.

“Mighta had a dame with me, and we were caught up in each other.” James said. He looked down at her and saw that she was trying to hold in her laughter. “Doesn’t hold a candle to you doll.”

“That so? Anyways you know who Jiminy Cricket is?” Mae asked.

“Yeah he was Pinocchio’s conscience.” James said.

“Well you have your own, only he's a Bucky Cricket.” Mae said as she dissolved into a fit of giggles. _I have got to tell Darcy this._

“Alright wise guy.” James said. He smiled down at her and tilted her chin up to look at him, her eyes were wide and her lips were lightly parted. He leaned down and pressed his lips against her, pulling her flush against his body as his mouth explored hers. He felt her hands tangle in his hair, her nails scraping against his scalp lightly. He moaned into her mouth and he used his arm to pick her up, her legs wrapped around his waist as he deepened the kiss. _**Like fuckin' heaven, like comin' home.**_ He heartily agreed with the Soldier. She felt like home, comfortable and irreplaceable. He pressed one final kiss to her lips and took in her slightly disheveled appearance, her eyes were blown from their heated display of affection. “This okay?”

“Steve's going to kill me.” Mae said. She untangled her legs from his waist and looked up at him. She had messed his hair up and she noticed that he was lightly flushed from their embrace.

“Nah, that punk doesn't have grounds to stand on.” James said with a full smile.

“I'm sure he will have choice words for me, you're still my patient.” Mae said.

“I'm in recovery and you're the reason for that, so like I said, doesn't have a peg to stand on.” James said. “It's late.”

“You're right I should probably go.” Mae said.

“Stay?” James asked. He watched her eyes widen before he realized what she probably thought. “Not for anything besides what we've already done. Would be nice waking up next to you, and you're already dressed for bed.”

“Well we already had dinner together.” Mae said with a smile. “Let me finish the dishes then we can lay down.”

“Thought you would've fought me.” James said.

“Do you want to argue with me?” Mae asked.

“No, not what I'm saying, just happy you're staying.” James said. He watched as she put the left over bread away before she started on the dishes. He sent Steve a message letting him know that everything went well and that she was staying over. Steve was probably rolling his eyes. He watched Mae weave her way through the kitchen, and he smiled. This felt right, comfortable, and perfect. He knew that he didn't deserve the way she looked at him, the kindness she'd shown him, but he was damned sure he'd keep her as long as he was able. _**S**_ _ **he's what we needed.**_ In the moment it was like he was back on that mountain in the Alps, he could see himself standing there, a shade of the Solider stood next to him before disappearing into the swirl of the snow.  _ **I'll be here, when you need me, don't let her go.** I won't._

_ _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me so long trying to get everything together. It was hard trying to work in everything but I am glad I took my time. Thank you all for reading, commenting and leaving kudos I apprecaite it!!
> 
> Please let me know what you think =)


	6. Immortal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am not the greatest at summarizing what I've written.
> 
> James and Mae have a few heart to hearts about what he's looking for after he is finished with his rehabilitation.  
> Tony, Steve and Darcy make breakfast and some laughs are made. Tony and Mae talk about her position with SI and they discuss the possibility of taking her technology global.
> 
> No serious warnings, pretty PG still.  
> Anyone good with making a collage of photos or a banner? I could use help....

“They say what we are, but we don't have to be.

I'm bad behavior, but I do it in the best way.

I'll be the watcher of the eternal flame.

I'll be the guard dog of all your favorite dreams.”  


Immortals- Fall Out Boy

Immortals-Fall Out Boy Avengers Style

**Chapter 6: Immortals**

** **

 

After the dishes were finished James followed Mae towards his bedroom, he felt the faint flutters of butterflies as he walked behind her. Even though he had stated not going any further than what they had started in the livingroom, part of him was still giddy over her staying with him. He watched as she got ready for bed, she was using his bathroom, seeing her wash her face while it was a simple task it was the feeling behind it. Usually when he saw a woman for a date she was already all dolled up, and if it continued they usually didn't ask him to stay over, or they left after they were both sated. Seeing her without make up, in clothes she slept in, it felt like so much more than any of the times he had spent with other women.

 _**It's different, we aren't seducing her for a night.** _ _She's more than that, she isn't the type of dame you want only a night with. She's the type of woman you want the_ _**rest of your life. You sure this is something you're ready for? She ain't just a side piece she would be a side car.** _ _Not sure if I'll ever be ready for it, but I sure want to try. Stevie ain't gonna believe this when I tell him._ _**I'm here and I don't believe it, specially since you weren't one to settle down.** _ _I wanted that, our war is over, why not go after her?_

“James, do you mind if I use one of the spare toothbrushes?” Mae asked. She looked up in the mirror and saw him standing against the door frame with a happy smile on his face. “James?”

“Sorry Mae, course you can.” James said. He walked into the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush, he stood next to her and brushed his teeth. Something about that simple task made him smile. They both finished and made their way over to his bed. “I don't sleep on a paticular side, my bed has never been this big.”

“Well go and lay down and I'll join you. I just have to set an alarm on my phone, wouldn't want to over sleep.” Mae said. She watched as James laid down he looked happy, content. She slid in next to him and curled up against his shoulder.

“This okay?” James asked as he pulled her across his broad chest, his arm wrapped around her.

“Absolutely, you're very comfortable. I should probably warn you that I am a sleep cuddler.” Mae said with a slow smile.

“That all your hands get up to doll? Cause I'm not complaining about your hands wanderin'.” James said with a smile. He pulled her on top of him, he watched her eyes widen in surpise, before he slipped his hand into her hair. “You mind?”

“The man handling? No, feel free to man handle me.” Mae said.

She leaned down and pressed light kisses along his jawline. She felt him shift beneath her, his hand pulling her down to his lips. For a few minutes it was like time stood still. He quickly flipped her onto her back so she was pinned under him. He used his momentum to turn her head to the side so he could nip and lightly bite along her jawline and down her neck. When he got to her neck he gently bit her pulse point, he shuddered against her as he heard her moan his name. He retraced his movements and made his way back to her supple lips. He kissed her like he was going to lose her, like this was the last kiss he was ever going to experience. He devoured her until they were both left panting against each other.

“Just so you know, I fully intend on having you do that again.” Mae said, her voice was breathy. He looked up into his deep blue eyes and watched as they sparkled. “What?”

“When I see you lookin' up at me like that, I gotta ask why.” James said. He turned so they were laying on their sides facing each other.

“What do you mean?” Mae cautiously asked.

“Why you look at me like I'm somethin' special.” James said. He stroked her check before he began running his fingers across her shoulder, down her arm and he traced the exposed skin on her hip. He watched her eyes light up before she answered.

“You're not some _thing_ special James, you're someone special.” Mae said. “You've over come so much in your young life, you've experienced things that would have burnt and broken other men, and you've survived. That makes you someone special James, you have your whole future in front of you.”

“You make me feel like I am something other than a formerly brain washed assassin.” James said. “I feel like I have a future. I don't have to worry about any missions, anything where I'm a mindless killing machine. You gave me that future.”

Mae was still curled up on her side, she felt James' thumb trace small circles on her hip and as he admitted everything she slowly closed her eyes. _He needs to know that while it was my technology, my serum that healed him, it isn't me that's his savior. I can't be his savior, I can't be his reason to keep going. At least not his only reason._ She felt him stop tracing her hip and she opened her eyes, he looked nervous, and apprehensive.

“ _Let me escape in your arms, baby I'm yours, baby I'm yours. Love don't come easy at all, I miss you so much, I miss you so much. Tell me, is this freedom baby? Chasing after danger, making my heart race, woah. Maybe if the stars align, maybe if our worlds collide. Maybe on the dark side we could be together, be together. Maybe in a million miles, on a highway through the stars. Someday soon we'll be together. He was a dreamer at heart, chasing the stars, chasing the stars. Wings spread to the sun, I miss you so much, I miss you so much.”_ Mae sang softly to James as she stroked his cheek.

[Be Together-Maj Lazer Feat. Wild Belle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1g4Uoqhhc8)

“Get a look at you doll, you got a set of pipes, I could listen to you all day long.” James said, his thumb resumed the endless circles on her hip.

“Thank you. James I can't be your reason to keep going.” Mae said softy. “Your future is simply your own, you are able to make choices to do whatever it is you wish.”

James pulled away from her and took stock in what she said. He **understood** what she said, but he was confused at her motives for saying it. _Does she think I'm so attached to her because she's been helping me? **Do you really know why you're attracted to her?** Because she gives me hope, hope that not everyone out there, even those I injured will hate me. **You don't think we have penance to pay? You know we'll be tried.** You know I believe that we have a penance to pay, we've done plenty of damage to plenty of people. **Are you prepared to go through with the trial?** IF I have to, then I will. _

“James?” Mae said. She could tell that he was internally debating what she had said.

“Nothing Mae, I'm fine really.” James said softly. “Just so you know, you're not the only reason I keep going. I have a debt to pay, and I have to do that.”

“How do you plan on repaying that debt?” Mae asked. “Do you hold yourself responsible for what you've done while under Hydra's and the Red Room's control?”

“In the end, it was me pulling the trigger.” James said. “I still did it.”

“James, you were brain washed and tortured for decades, do you remember when we first me?” Mae asked.

“Yes I remember, you and Steve were arguing.” James said with a smile.

 

\--------flashback---------

“ _I don't care who you are! You don't just burst into my private lab and start ordering me around. You might be Captain America, but this lab is mine and I'll be damned if some stuffed and strutting peacock will try and tell me what I will or will not do!” Mae yelled._

“ _Ma'am, if you would just listen to me.” Steve started. “You're a brilliant dame, but I know what's best,”_

“ _Oh I've came, seen, and saw the show Cap, I listened to you up until the point where you started trying to give me orders. So help me God if you try that 'this is what's best for him' bullshit I swear to God on high I will grab you by your ear and toss you out!” Mae said._

_James looked between the two and saw that Steve was digging his heels in, the small woman looked like she didn't mind going toe to toe with Steve either. She was a tiny thing, her rather high heels made her slightly taller but she was still slender, petite. He was enjoying the way she herded Steve throughout her lab while simultaneously backing him into the proverbial corner._

“ _Ma'am I'd love to see you try.” Steve said, defiance clenched his jaw as he stood to his full height. Standing he easily had over a foot of height over her, but she wasn't backing down either. “I've know him the longest, he wants to go back under, but there are other ways of getting the conditioning out of his brain.”_

“ _And yet it isn't your call to make, it's his. As his primary doctor I have to listen to what his wishes are, not what you want.” Mae said with an eerie smile, had Steve really paid attention to what she was grabbing for he may have seen the gauntlet she had pulled on. “Are you ready to discuss this as adults or would you care to posture a bit more?”_

“ _You're not hearing me! He shouldn't be stored away like some piece of meat! There's technology out there to,” Steve started._

“ _Alright well Cap, I warned you.” Mae said before she decked him. You could have heard a pin drop. Steve feel like a pallet of bricks. “Well shit, now how am I going to move him.”_

_James stood in the doorway, he had watched the heated exchange before he started full out belly laughing. Steve always did have a way with dames._

“ _Sergeant Barnes.” Mae said._

“ _So you want help with haulin' him off? Stevie always had a way with dames.” James said between laughs._

“ _I'm sorry, this wasn't supposed to happen like this.” Mae said as she tried hauling Steve up into a sitting position._

“ _I heard the whole thing, he never learned to back down. I appreciate you standing up for me, he's normally a lot better with his words.” James said with a smile._

“ _Want to grab lunch and talk everything over?” Mae asked with a brief smile. She pulled her gauntlet off and smiled again._

“ _You pack a helluva punch doll, should I be worried?” James asked he was grinning brightly at her._

“ _Unless you prove to be as stubborn as a mule I think we'll be just fine. Are we going to leave him here?” Mae asked_

“ _I'm not hauling his carcass around, he's heavy.” James replied. “So lunch?”_

“ _Lunch it is Sergeant.” Mae said. She took James' offered arm and they walked out of her lab._

“ _You can call me James.” James said._

“ _Then you're welcome to call me Mae.” Mae said._

 

\-------flash back end--------

 

“Yes, that was mildly embarrassing.” Mae said with a smile.

“He was madder than a wet hen when he finally came to. Part of it was the fact that a woman a third of his weight managed to knock him on his ass and the other part was the fact that he never saw it coming.” James said. “Least he said you had good form.”

“I am so embarrassed, I TKO'd Captain America.” Mae said. She had rolled over and curled up against James' shoulder.

“No you knocked out Steve Rogers, the most stubborn man alive.” James said. He wrapped his arm around her and held her close against his chest. He felt her stifle a giggle against him. “It taught me something though.”

“And what might that be?” Mae asked. She looked up into James' eyes, they held humor that was mirrored by the smile on his face.

“Never argue with you.” James said with a bright grin. “At least don't be a mule while arguing with you.”

“That's a fair assessment. I did apologize for knocking him out.” Mae said.

“I caught hell for laughing at him and for leaving him in a heap on the ground.” James said.

“Darcy found it funny, I think she watched the footage of me knocking him out over and over.” Mae said.

“How did you knock him out? I saw the gauntlet, was it charged?” James asked.

“It was a combination of an electrical charge and it also enhances the physical strength of the user. Tony made me a set of gauntlets because he knew that I am not exactly physically as threatening standing at 5'1''.” Mae said.

“Well they work.” James said.

“It was in case of my lab being taken over, never thought I'd be doing a field test on Steve.” Mae said.

“Well at least you know you can protect yourself.” James said. “I can always give you lessons in hand to hand combat.”

“James, you'll wipe the floor with me. Natasha began training me some before you went under.” Mae said. “I do have some self defense under my belt, I've taken Judo since I was a child. I may not be as unprotected as you think.”

“I taught Natalia everything she knows, I am a better trainer. I look forward to seeing what you're capable of.” James said. He looked down and saw a lightness in her gaze. He pulled her closer to him before he pressed his lips gently against her lips. The moments drifted by as he explored her lips. “You make me believe that I can be redeemed.”

“James, you are able to make yourself into whoever you want to be. Your absolution is something that you're going to have to work at. You know how I feel about it.” Mae said.

“I know you don't think I'm responsible for what I've done, but I feel like I owe it to those that I killed. I have to find some form of atonement.” James said.

“Then we'll find that together. I know there are dozens of relief missions that could use your expertise.” Mae said.

“My expertise?” James asked.

“They need someone with your experience, they are usually understaffed and very few have a protection details.” Mae stated.

“I think I'd like that, I know Steve wants me to work with the Avengers but I don't want to fight every fight out there.” James said.

“I know Tony has a specific section of SI that works directly with aide work, I can do a little research and see what's available.” Mae said.

“Could we go over some of that today? I want as many options available as possible.” James said.

“Absolutely, Tony sent me a message and he'll meet us for breakfast and go over the surge in power from the nanites, and I believe your new arm is ready.” Mae said.

“Well this is the part where we go to sleep right?” James said with a sly smirk.

“Technically that's probably the best idea, but I am up for other options as well.” Mae said. She felt him turn so he could capture her lips once again. Time was lost between the two of them as they lost themselves in each other. Before they knew it they both curled up against each other and fell into a dreamless sleep.

James woke up and smiled, he felt the warmth of Mae's body pressed against him. It had been a long time since he felt the soothing touch of a woman's hand stroking his brow. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Good morning.” James said, his voice sounded husky from sleep.

“Good morning James, how did you sleep?” Mae asked as she stifled a yawn.

“Slept great, been a long time since I woke up with a beautiful woman in my arms.” James said with a smile.

“Charmer.” Mae said. She sat up and slowly stretched. She felt James wrap his arm around her waist anchoring her against his side. “Come on, we need to get up and get dressed.”

“Don't wanna.” James muttered against her side. “Let's stay in bed.”

“No, we are going to be responsible adults and get up.” Mae said. She checked her phone and saw a few messages from Tony, and one from Darcy.

 

_So funny story I went to get you up and out of bed, but you weren't in your bed.-Darcy_

_Funny story I didn't sleep there-Mae_

_Gathered that, so...Steve is pacing.-Darcy_

_Remind him that patience is a virtue, we're getting up.-Mae_

_Bet that wasn't the only thing_ _**up** _ _this morning.-Darcy_

_I don't have any idea what you're referring to.-Mae_

_Did your lady bits finally get some action?-Darcy_

_*_ _**FACEPALM** _ _***** _ _no we didn't do all the things-Mae_

_So some of the things occurred?! Details woman!-Darcy_

_See you soon.-Mae_

_But I'm living vicariously through you...-Darcy_

_Go debauch your own super soldier.-Mae_

_Sorry but that happened like awhile ago.-Darcy_

_And...........-Mae_

_The refractory period, holy fuck thank god for lube. Cause it's a size thing too.-Darcy_

_I can't get that image out of my head now, thanks.-Mae_

_#WINNING-Darcy_

 

“What has you makin' that face?” James asked.

“You don't want to know.” Mae said. “Darcy said something and I there's no way I am going to be able to look Steve in the eye this morning.”

James snagged her phone and saw what they had been talking about. He laughed and smiled at her, her cheeks were still stained with an innocent flush.

“Guess he ended up with a real spitfire huh?” James said.

“Darcy is very unique, and she has a lack of filter, it's refreshing and mentally scarring at the same time.” Mae said. “I need clothes so I'm going back to my room. I'd suggest you putting on gym clothes, after we talk to Tony, we'll install your new arm and run some tests provided everything goes smoothly.”

“Sure thing doll.” James said as he began pulling his shirt over his head. He watched her eyes widen slightly before she licked her lips. He smirked at her before he sauntered over to her. “All you have to do is ask.”

“James Barnes, go get dressed!” Mae said as she walked out of his bedroom.

“Hate to see you go, but damn I love watching you leave!” James called.

Mae made her way back to her room and quickly got ready for the day. She slipped out of her pajamas and located a pair of slim fit black pants, and she grabbed a sleeveless silk shirt. She grabbed a pair of dark green Louboutin pumps, they were one of her favorite pairs of shoes. She twisted her hair into a sleek knot before she added eyeliner, mascara and lip stain. When she left her bedroom she saw that James was waiting for her in her kitchen. He was busy texting on his phone, but when he looked up his phone snapped shut and his jaw dropped.

“Wow, you look stunning.” James said. He reached down and pressed a light kiss on her lips.

“Well thank you.” Mae said. She caressed his jaw and pulled him down for another kiss. “Ready for breakfast?”

“Suppose I am.” James said. He followed her out of her apartment and towards the communal kitchen.

When they got there, they could hear their friends laughing and joking. James stood off to the side of Mae as they walked in. Tony was pacing slightly while he popped what looked like blueberries into his mouth. Steve and Darcy were at the stove making pancakes, they took turns pouring the batter before flipping the pancakes when they were done. The all looked up and smiled when they saw James standing behind Mae.

“Good morning you two, how did you sleep?” Darcy asked.

“Pretty well, best sleep I've had in a long time.” Mae said with a soft smile. She felt James trace a low pattern on her back as he stood behind her.

“Slept good, luckily she doesn't snore like you.” James said as he smiled at Steve.

“He does, luckily he looks pretty adorable while he does it.” Darcy added. Steve poked her side before he chimed in.

“You steal all the blankets, we have to have separate king size blankets because you steal them.” Steve added.

“I slept great too, thanks for asking.” Tony added. “So we're having pancakes as you can see.”

“Sounds great, Tony do you have a few moments to look over some data with me?” Mae asked.

“You're both allowed to Science! Until breakfast is done, then it will have to wait.” Darcy said. “Bacon, eggs and sausage okay?”

“Sounds great Darcy, thank you.” James said.

“I'll snag some fruit and yogurt.” Mae said. She gestured to Tony and they both made their way to the table. “Alright so, there was only one moment that worried me, it's like the nantites gave him a jolt and he lost himself for a minute.”

“I was worried about that, as he gains his memories the electrical impulses might cause some twitchyness, but since the nantites will dissolve soon they will be lessened.” Tony stated as he pointed to the designs of the nanites. “They in themselves don't produce the electrical impulse, it's his brain that's essentially giving him those small jolts.”

“So he should be fine in the long run, I'll have to keep an eye on him. I've looked at some cognitive behavioral therapies that he could work on while he recovers.” Mae said. “I've debated keeping the contacts on for longer since it gives me great data, and it shows me where he's improving.”

“You serum work could help a lot more people, granted it is expensive but the applications are almost limitless. They could help people that suffered from a TBI, all the way through people that have experienced trauma.” Tony said. “I have a proposal for you.”

“Are you trying to rehire me Tony?” Mae asked with a smile.

“Yes, I want you to continue your work, and I want to be a part of it. Ideally I'd like this to be widely available and that means you need to continue your research.” Tony said. “I'm out of the weapons business, have been for awhile, and while I'm working on clean energy, and now limb replacements, I think your part could really help change the world for the better. If I've learned anything, it's that we have to identify and treat the trauma that people have, I want to heal people.”

“Tony that sounds great, I haven't decided where I'm going to end up yet. A lot rides on James' recovery, I don't know when he will want to move or even where.” Mae said.

“And you're not avoiding New York because of any specific reason are you? I mean technically you're on a leave of absence from SI anyways, we didn't replace you as our Chief Medical Officer, so technically I'm not offering you a job, but I'm expanding on your original contract.” Tony said. “There would be a substantial pay increase, and you're able to travel with your work, we have a few safe houses across the world that you could work from and help with Capsicle 2.0's recovery.”

“That's a good offer, but it will depend on what James' is ready for.” Mae said with a slow sigh. “I'm not avoiding New York Tony, that's where I was before you called me in to consult.”

“I'm just making a casual observation, no malice or anything.” Tony said. “I know about avoidance, if you'll recall the panic attacks in my file.”

“I know, and I appreciate it, maybe part of me hates the idea of going back, I have enjoyed my solidarity here.” Mae said with a smile. “I do miss New York.”

“Well it'll be there for you when you're ready. Tell me more about these contacts you've made, they work great, really cutting edge.” Tony said.

“Well I thought of them one night when I saw a commercial for stick on thermometers. The one that's a strips that read a kids temperature, it has an adhesive on one side. So I made a biodegradable chip that would record temperature, blood pressure, and made them into temporary EKG functions and pulse ox as well.” Mae said. “Depending on how I program them, they can go “live” for up to a week. They naturally dissolve into the body and are flushed out through normal bodily functions.”

“This is exactly what I need, I need someone to create and implement different medical instruments that help others.” Tony said. “It would be easier to use those in the field over hauling those types of instruments that we would need to do the same job. How do you create a baseline?”

“With SI, and the Avengers you all have baselines already recorded in your files. I'd like to include baselines in times of stress , and of physical activity. Those baselines would be much more useful if you're going to use my tech in the field.” Mae said.

“Well let's get right on that, Romanoff, Barton and Rogers are the hardest ones to cajole into going to medical.” Tony said.

“I can do that from here, the manufacturing side I could probably handle as well.” Mae said. “At least for the team. Tony how are you doing?”

“Honestly?” Tony asked as he looked up at Mae. “Some days are better than others, Pepper isn't really taking my calls outside of SI stuff.”

“I'm sorry Tony, I know that it hasn't been an easy road, for either of you.” Mae said. She reached out and took his hand. “Why don't you stay for a while, I think some time away from SI might do you some good. You and his Highness created a beautiful place for me to work, there's nothing saying you can't work in one of the labs next to me.”

“I might just do that. I think I need some time away from, well reality, and at least here I can't really start an international incident.” Tony said with a gauche smile. “Did you see the lab where I have his arm?”

“I did, it reminds me of a garage not a laboratory, probably very smart of you. I also saw a few all terrain bikes in pieces, something to tinker with?” Mae asked.

“Well there's a lot of jungle we could explore, might be useful.” Tony said. “And you know they won't be standard either.”

“I'm sure they will be just as brilliant as you.” Mae said.

“I need you in my life, you always know what to say to pull me out of a funk.” Tony said.

“I won't be your PA, but I am your friend.” Mae said.

“Okay enough of the feelings, I will not be a feely feeler who feels. That's Darcy's wheel house not mine.” Tony said with a smirk.

“No, we can't have Tony 'Master of the Universe' Stark having feelings.” Mae said sarcastically.

“No we can't.” Tony said.

“Breakfast is ready!” Steve called. “Clear the table off please.”

“Alright all technological aspects will be hidden until after food.” Mae said. She looked over at James and saw that he was setting up a platter of bacon, sausage and eggs. “James would you like any help?”

“I'm fine doll, you sit pretty and I'll bring some fruit over to you.” James said with a smile.

Steve brought over another platter with pancakes, butter, syrup and other varied toppings while Darcy procured a carafe of coffee and varied local juices. Tony had grabbed the dining utensils and began setting the table. Mae looked at the various people that surrounded her and simply smiled. It was nice seeing everyone work together, as a team.

“Anyone still say grace?” Tony asked pointedly looking at Mae and Steve.

“Well we could, anyone else speak Latin?” Mae asked.

“Buck do you still remember the nuns?” Steve asked.

“You mean the rulers? Cause I definitely remember getting smacked with those.” James said. “Bénedic, Dómine, nos et haec tua dona quae de tua largitate sumus sumpturi.Per Christum  Dóminum nostrum. Amen.” {Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen. }

“I guess you remember more than I do.” Tony said.

“If you got smacked with a ruler for not pronouncing it correctly, you'd probably remember it too.” James said with a rakish smile.

“I suppose, though in the right context that would be arousing.” Tony said with an equally rakish smile.

“And it went weird, Tony we don't need to think of your sexual proclivities.” Darcy said. “At least not a breakfast.”

Steve sat there silently as he watched his friend interact so easily with his friends. It was a miracle, there was still that nervous tension in Bucky's frame, but it was much smoother than any of the other encounters he had with him. He looked over at Mae and saw that she was watching his reactions, he nodded to her and mouthed 'thank you'. She nodded in response before she began piling things up on Bucky's plate.

“What else do you want?” Mae asked.

“Pancakes, with butter and syrup.” James said. He smiled at Mae, she helped him without a second thought, she began cutting them up into smaller pieces before she passed him a plate laden with food. He wanted to say something about her cutting up the food for him, but he bit his tongue knowing that she was helping him because she wanted to without making a big deal out of it. _**She's selfless, she deserves more than us.**_ _She might, doesn't mean I wanna give her up._ _ **Hope.**_ _Yep, she gives us hope._

They all finished their meals with minimal ribbing before they worked in tandem to put away the left overs an clean up the kitchen. Darcy pulled out a few lasagna's out of the deep freezer, she also pulled out a few loaves of bread and set them aside.

“Italian night, we have two options, garlic bread or cheesy garlic bread.” Darcy stated.

“Both?” Steve asked.

“I may have dessert lined up too, is there a market near by?” Darcy asked.

“There is, what are you thinking of making?” Mae asked.

“Tiramisu, I'm craving it and it sounds really good.” Darcy stated.

“Tony how long should installation take?” Steve asked.

“If we lived in a perfect world? Probably three hours, give or take a half an hour, we wouldn't want to get our wires crossed.” Tony said. “We can take a break as needed though.”

“Buck do you want me there?” Steve asked. He watched Bucky quickly run different scenarios play out in his mind before he shook his head no.

“Mae will you have those gauntlets with you?” James asked.

“I can if you think it's necessary.” Mae replied.

“Hello, I am Iron Man?” Tony snarked.

“We might need both of you, if something goes wrong.” James said.

“Then we'll both be prepared.” Tony said.

“Steve go with Darcy, you'll love the markets, some of them are really fun to explore.” Mae said with a smile. She reached out and slipped her hand into James', offering him comfort and showing him she trusted him. She knew they were going to have to run through the commands that could trigger the Winter Soldier, as a test to make sure his conditioning was successfully removed. “When you get back we can work on the agility course.”

“That sounds good.” Steve said. He tried to keep his reply short, he wanted to be there for Bucky, but he didn't want to invite himself to the procedure. “I'm going to go get ready.”

“Steve will you run the course with me later?” James asked. He could tell that Steve felt left out, but he didn't want to risk punching him out either.

“Absolutely, maybe I'll even let you win.” Steve said with a smile. He understood why Bucky didn't want him there, but it still stung.

“Let me win huh, that sounds like you just threw down a gauntlet.” James said with a smirk.

“Yeah, you know I'll go easy on you.” Steve said.

“Don't write a check with your mouth that your ass can't cash Stevie.” James said with a smile.

“I can back it up a lot better now.” Steve said.

“Only just.” James said.

“Jerk.” Steve said.

“Punk.” James said.

“Are you guys going to hug it out? Cause I need photos, like all the photos.” Darcy said with a bright smile.

“Maybe later.” James said. He leaned over and whispered to Darcy, “Thank you for being the light in his life.”

“You don't have to thank me Buck-a-roo, happy to help.” Darcy said, a light blush dusted her cheeks.

“Well team Science! Shall we play?” Tony asked with a waggle of his eye brows.

“I'm game if you are.” Mae said. “James?”

“I'm ready.” James said.

“Alright well let's get this party started!” Tony said as he wandered off towards his laboratory. “Follow me Terminator.”

“Steve here's the keys to the Jeep.” Mae said. “It isn't that he doesn't need you, he's still worried that his conditioning is still there, it's a mental hurdle and he cares about you so deeply that it would be detrimental to him to have you there.”

“Logically I know that, but it still stings. Even when I had nothing I had Bucky.” Steve said.

“You still have him, you're not expendable to him so he wants to reduce the risk of something going wrong.” Mae said lightly.

“You're special to him too, the way he situates himself when you're around, he's protecting you.” Steve said.

“I know, he's very careful with me, I'm a little more breakable than you super hero’s.” Mae said with a smile. “We talked about what will happen when this is over, he wants to help with relief work.”

“I wondered if he had already made plans, I was hoping he'd return with us.” Steve said.

“He has some issues with guilt, and he feels like working as a protection detail with SI's relief agency would use his skills to better the lives of those around him. He doesn't want to be behind his rifle taking out targets.” Mae said softly.

“That's the least he deserves, some rest and it's his own choice.” Steve said. “I'll support him in whatever he wants.”

“Thank you that means a lot. I have to get down there, you have your phone right?” Mae asked.

“I do, we'll keep in contact.” Steve said. He extended his hand before smiling at her. “Thank you for all your hard work, you've become an integral part of his life and I'm grateful. I'm sorry I can be a mule about some things.”

“It's alright Steve, at the end of the day we're human, we make mistakes. Luckily, we can fix those mistakes.” Mae said. She bypassed Steve's hand and pulled him into a hug. “You're a good man Steve Rogers, and I'm glad he has you in his corner.”

“I'm glad he has you too, he's lucky that he has a dame like you to keep him tethered to reality. Darcy does that for me, she keeps me stable.” Steve whispered. He released their hug and headed off towards the garage.  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading I do appreciate it! I haven't given up on Silver Lines for those of you reading that story as well, I am working on the next chapter it hasn't been coming to me as easily as this piece.
> 
> Any comments about what you did or didn't like, let me know. Kudos are always appreciated as well!! 
> 
> <3 Peace love and bullet proof marshmallows.
> 
> Also I need some help with making a banner or collage....any takers?!


	7. Interupted

I will be posting the next chapter next week, without going into too many details I might be getting divorced so I need some time to get my shit together and figure out what I'm going to be doing. I have most of the next chapter already finished but I need to take this week to really get myself fixed up mentally and emotionally. Thank you for bearing with me, and I will be posting next week.

-Belle


	8. Running Up That Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James gets an upgrade to his arm. There will be a few flash backs, one of them could be considered graphic because of the medical experimentation and because it is torture. James and the Soldier both talk to Mae during the procedure.
> 
> I'll have to come back and edit the photos I wanted to put in, photobucket is currently down.

“ **For as long as I can remember, I just wanted to do what was right, guess I'm not quite sure what that is any more.” Steve Rogers**

 

“ **The world has changed, and none of us can go back, all we can do is our best.” Peggy Carter**

 

**If I only could make a deal with God,**

**I'd get him to swap our places.**

**Be running up that road,**

**Be running up that hill,**

**Be running up that building.**

**IF I only could.**

**Is there so much hate for the ones we love?**

**-Running up that hill-**

[Steve+Bucky Running up That Hill](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K_CMnNBgP8&list=PLXWn0wLOH6Vdd_1j8D2m3BGirvkAxsmS1&index=41&shuffle=12058)

 

 

“James? Are you ready to begin?” Mae asked. He was sitting in between an old Harley and a newer dirt bike. His hand was tracing the fuel tank on the Harley.

“Was that Steve's bike? I think I remember it.” James said, his eyes were searching the garage.

“It was, it was the one that he used in the war.” Tony said. “Luckily Dad was a pack rat and I decided it would make a good project to fix it up. The one in the Smithsonian is just another model I don't think Steve knows I have this one. I wanted to fix it up and surprise him with it.”

“I think I remember working on cars, at a garage. O'Conner's Garage, he had an Irish accent.” James said. “I helped 'im out when I wasn't workin' at the docks.”

“Well if you feel the need to tinker you can always help out down here.” Tony said. He was working on getting everything set up, he was using one of the holographic projectors, his hands were quickly swiping through the air as the diagrams for James' new arm spun around them. “Mae would you mind checking the nanites? I want to make sure that this is a seamless process.”

“Sure Tony, the readings are all looking very promising.” Mae said. She looked at James, it looked like he was lost in his memories, there was a faint smile gracing his full lips. “James are you alright?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” James said. He looked up from the bike and saw the various designs of his arm. “Is everything okay on your end?”

“I'm ready if you are Tony.” Mae said. She was freshly scrubbed up, she didn't put on traditional scrubs, she had slipped on a pair of coveralls instead.

“I'm as ready as I'll ever be, I think this will go well.” Tony said. “You're getting a prototype, and if it works, I can start crafting them for people that are amputees. Granted theirs won't be made out of these materials, they aren't going to need something as strong as yours.”

“Thanks Tony, I appreciate it. I don't deserve your help.” James said quietly.

“I know I haven't always been honest with myself, and after I really gave you some consideration, it really wasn't your fault. You didn't chose to kill them, and you ended up being a focus for the years of anger I had. You should really thank Mae, she about ripped my head off when she heard what happened. This small woman who had more reasons to be angry and hurt and she came up and slapped me.” Tony admitted.

 

\-----Flashback-----

_Tony had finally gone home, to the tower, it didn't feel like home, not anymore. He didn't have Jarvis any longer, Pepper was gone, and Rhodey was nearly dead. His team, could he really even call them that? They were spread across the globe, half of them were stuck at the Raft because of his actions. In the end, good intentions really do pave the road to hell, and paving it quickly. He looked up and saw Mae standing in front of him there were tears in her eyes._

“ _Tony.” Mae said before she ran towards him, she threw her arms around him. “You're back, god what happened I've been seeing reports of you fighting against Steve.”_

“ _He killed them. Steve, he knew and he kept it to himself.” Tony said._

“ _Who killed who?” Mae asked._

“ _Bucky fucking Barnes, he murdered my parents. He killed them, he was Howard's friend and he executed him!” Tony bit out. “Rogers of course sided with him, so did quite a few other members of our rag tag team. He's in Wakanda now, Rhodey may never walk again, and the rest are either on the run or locked up in the Raft.”_

“ _Tony you know that he didn't do that under his own volition.” Mae said._

“ _You can keep your sentimental feelings for him, or did you forget he killed your husband too?” Tony quipped back. He watched Mae's eyes go wide, and he had a split second before he felt her hand connect with his cheek._

“ _How dare you.” Mae said. “How dare you act like you're the only one hurting! Tony you knew that those Accords were a massive pile of bullshit! I tried warning you, I tried to tell you that this would tear you all apart.”_

“ _First hit's free Mae, I had that coming.” Tony said. He dragged his hand over his eyes before he picked up a wrench, he threw it as hard as he could watching one of his displays shatter. “But don't presume to think you know anything about how I should feel.”_

“ _Tony, do you truly believe beyond a doubt that James Barnes chose to act under his own power to eliminate all those people over the years?” Mae asked calmly._

“ _I don't know. I don't know anymore Mae.” Tony said._

“ _Alright you're going to get cleaned up, I'll make you dinner then you're going to bed.” Mae said. She slipped her hand into Tony's before she lead him out of his workshop and towards his bedroom. “Go shower up, is there anything you want me to make in particular?”_

“ _Not hungry, there's work I need to get done.” Tony stated._

“ _That wasn't a request, if I have to either drug you or render you unconscious I will do so.” Mae said. “I will have to surprise you. Go get cleaned you stink.”_

“ _Have you ever heard that you're bossy?” Tony asked with a small smile._

“ _Yes, you and quite a few others have told me that. I like to think that I can be quite the benevolent dictator.” Mae said with a smile._

_\-----end Flashback-----_

“Doll have you noticed your penchant for violence?” James teased.

“Cognitive Recalibration.” Mae stated with a small smile. “James if you'd remove your shirt and get comfortable, we can begin.”

James took a deep breath before he pulled his shirt over his head. He sat down in the chair and tried to clear his mind. He felt the chair adjust to his body, molding around him comfortably. He watched as the screen above his head flicked to life, he remembered when they were operating on his arm, they had hung a mirror above him.

\----flashback-----

“ _Sergeant Barnes.” Zola said. “So glad you could join us, we're about to begin the process of making you into the Fist of Hydra.”_

_A mirror was hung above him he could see his entire body stretched out on the chair. His right arm was tightly strapped down, and various other implements were being attached to his body. He couldn't move, it was like he was paralyzed. He tried to say something but his mouth wasn't working, he couldn't push the words out of his mouth._

“ _Don't worry, you'll be able to feel everything, we just didn't want you struggle. We wouldn't want you to damage yourself any further.” Zola stated with a cruel smile._

 _He heard the buzz of a saw begin and he watched as they cut the the jagged bone and flesh. He was screaming in his mind, cursing and begging for it to stop._ _**Not my arm, not my arm, stop, stop, not my arm, Sergeant James Barnes 32557038. Sergeant James. Barnes. 32557038. Steve, Brooklyn. God help me!** _ _He watched as blood sprayed across his chest, the deep ache of not being able to feel his fingers or his hand became a sharp pain. The whine of the saw stopped, he watched a surgeon grab a blow torch, no they can't do this._

“ _Begin cauterization.” Zola ordered._

 _The smell of burning flesh would be permanently seared to his mind. He felt the nerve endings rapidly fire over and over until all he was left with was a cold sweep of fear licking across his mind._ _**32557038 3255703803255703832557038...32557. Sergeant James. Barnes.** _

“ _Is it ready?” Zola asked. “Begin attaching the anchor points. Just so you know, your beloved Captain America won't be here to rescue you, he's dead.”_

_In that moment, part of Sergeant James B. Barnes died, all that was left was the pain and fear. Until all that was left was cold efficiency._

 

\-----Flashback End-----

“James?” Mae asked.

“Turn it off, please.” James pleaded. “Turn off the monitor above me, they used a mirror, made me watch.”

“I'm sorry, I'll remove it at once.” Mae said. She looked at Tony, he was standing behind James. The evident panic and fear that was laced through James' voice made Tony pity him. Tony turned it off and had it retract into the ceiling. “James tell me how you're feeling.”

“Better, just remembering.” James said. He felt a cool cloth brush across his brow.

“James, I'm going to begin checking to make sure you shoulder is ready for your new arm. The process of attaching it will only take a few moments, running the diagnostics and programming it will take a few hours though. Are you sure that you don't want to be unconscious?” Mae asked.

“No, just talk to me, or play music something.” James said. He watched as Tony dragged over a rolling tool box, he could see his new arm sitting on top of it.

“Barnes, focus on me if you can. You're going to feel a jolt, it's just the socket of the arm coming alive.” Tony said. He pulled on nitrile gloves before he began adding a few pieces to James' shoulder. James twitched on the chair as he felt a bolt of energy pass through his shoulder. “I'm sorry about that, I'm going to attach the power cell, it's similar to my arc reactor for the suit.”

“James, the next part will hurt, we'll be connecting the nerve endings. Are you sure you want to feel it? I can still give you an IV infusion to numb the joint.” Mae said.

“I can do this.” James said. _**Not the worst we've had, not by a long shot. Remember when they**_ _I don't want to remember the many fucked up things they did._ _ **Forgetting won't erase what we've done, or what's been done to us. FOCUS.**_

“His heart rate is picking up, his adrenal levels are becoming unstable.” Mae said. “James please focus on me, look at me, please. Tony hurry up, I'm afraid this is too much of a trigger.”

James felt white hot pain surge from his shoulder, it felt like lightening took over his body, his back bowed and he screamed. The cuff holding his arm down could barely contain himself. He wanted to yell out for them to take a step back he could feel his mind shatter. _**Go. I've got this.**_

“James, stay with me. Tony step back, you might want to go now.” Mae said. “James focus on me, you're okay, you're safe. I'm sorry that it hurt, the pain should fade in a moment.”

“I won't leave you with him.” Tony said.

“Not an option, go. He won't hurt me, just go, please.” Mae said. She stood between Tony and James, giving James her back to show trust. She had slipped her bracelets on while her back was turned. “Tony go please, this won't go well if you're here please.”

“I'll suit up, Friday will alert me if you need me.” Tony said he walked towards the door before he glanced back at her. She nodded once before she locked down the lab, until she gave her pass code neither of them could leave.

“готовы соблюдать. Ready to comply.” The Winter Soldier said. His eyes were focused on Mae, his eyes were a cold blue color. “He's fine. Needed me to take over.”

“Are you okay?” Mae asked. She watched as the Soldier cocked his head as if he was confused by her concern.

“Yes.” The Soldier replied. “He's fine, your judgment was correct. Stark had to go, he was too much of a threat.”

“He was here to help you.” Mae said softly. “You don't have to remain strapped down, would you like me to help you sit up?”

“Why aren't you afraid?” The Soldier asked. _Because she has a good heart._

“Do you wish to harm me?” Mae asked.

“No, he wouldn't want that.” The Soldier said. _You're damn right I wouldn't._ “You'd offer me little resistance.”

“Well not all of us are enhanced super soldiers. What should I call you?” Mae asked.

“I don't have a name, he does. Assets do not need a name.” The Soldier said. “I would like to sit up.”

Mae began unlocking the various restraints, she tried to stay calm and collected while she undid them. The Soldier watched her with focused interest, his eyes tracing her features. When the last of the restraints were taken care of, she slipped her arm behind his back and began helping him sit up. The chair began to adjust behind him and he took in her closeness. He knew that James was very taken with this particular doctor, he didn't feel threatened by her either. She was gentle, kind, and she wasn't afraid of him.

“You have a name, you share it with him.” Mae said. “You're as much as alive as he is. You're a person not an asset.”

“I don't know.” The Soldier said. He felt the buzz of electricity running through his new arm, it was much lighter than the previous model, he could feel each individual plate slide and move. His fingertips moved in a fast pattern as the nerves connected to the arm.

“Are you thirsty? Are you in any pain?” Mae asked. She checked the readings from the contact points, she noticed that his brain chemistry was slightly different, she filed that away for further research.

“No. He cares for you, we aren't supposed to form bonds.” The Soldier said. When he made eye contact with her it shocked him. He saw tears forming in her eyes, a single tear fell from her eyes and he reached up to wipe it away. She didn't flinch at his touch, she smiled down at him.

“You can do anything you want now, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.” Mae said. He cupped her cheek with his flesh hand, she could feel his hand shaking slightly as he touched her.

“I can see why he cares for you.” The Soldier said. He had never touched anyone gently, he never had the need to be gentle.

“James. May I call you James?” Mae asked.

“I'm not him.” The Soldier said. His eyes were no longer empty of emotion, he looked lost. “But you can call me that.”

“Well James, how are you feeling now?” Mae asked, she reached over for a bottle of water, she showed him that it was sealed before she cracked it open. “Here you need to stay hydrated.”

“Thank you.” The Soldier said. He drained the water bottle before he made eye contact with her. She had dragged a stool over as she sat next to him. “I am fine, I can feel more of my arm now.”

“Are you experiencing any pain, any dizziness?” Mae asked. She was typing away on her tablet while she recorded the various points of data.

“None. How were you able to forgive me?” The Soldier asked. It was the first time he had referred to himself, at least out loud.

“Because you didn't truly have control over who you are. You were given a directive and you had to follow it. Would you choose to go around killing people now?” Mae asked.

“No. I don't want to do that anymore.” The Soldier said.

“And you don't have to.” Mae said. She watched as years of stress poured off of him, she could almost touch the waves of pain.

“Thank you, for forgiving me. I don't deserve” The Soldier began saying. Mae held a hand up before she spoke.

“As I've said to you before, you need to forgive yourself.” Mae said. “I forgave you a long time ago, and if you argue that point with me you'll really see what I can do.”

“He's ready to come back.” The Soldier said. “Would you talk to me again?”

“Anytime, I'll be here for you James.” Mae said. She held his flesh hand tightly between her own, she felt him grip her hands tightly before he relaxed again. “Hello James.”

“Mae.” James said. “Went better than I thought. I didn't hurt anyone did I?”

“No, you didn't.” Mae said. “Friday lift the lock-down, protocol Osiris, password La Vie en Rose.”

_Understood Supreme Overlord Mae, Sir wishes to know if you need assistance._

“Let him know we're fine, and we'll see him after the diagnostics finish running.” Mae said.

_Understood Supreme Overlord Mae._

“You are either incredibly brave, or you have a death wish.” James said. He was frowning at her, he knew he could have broken free of the restraints easily if he had wanted to.

“Do you remember the conversation we had?” Mae asked.

“Which one?” James asked.

“The one we had after you let the Soldier part of you take over.” Mae said.

“I get glimpses of it, but it wasn't like I was there, not exactly I don't know how to explain it.” James said. He thought about the last thing that he remembered, he remembered her sending Tony away, she locked herself in with him. “What were you thinking? You sent Tony away, he would've protected you, what if I had lost myself to him? You would have easily broken under him. Who did I personally offend to get stuck with two of the most stubborn headed people?!”

“If you continue to fret over something that didn't happen we are going to have a conversation that I guarantee you won't enjoy.” Mae said, the steel in her voice made him pause.

“Yes ma'am.” James said, a slow smirk broke out on his face. “Glad it went well doll.”

“Me too James, you still need to stay here for another hour and half before you can fully test out your new arms potential.” Mae said. “Are you hungry?”

“I could eat.” James said.

“Friday please have some food sent down.” Mae called.

_Of course Mistress. Do you require anything specific?_

“Lean protein, carbs, and some juice.” Mae said. _I swear he programmed her to annoy me._ “James you should be able to move your arm into a more neutral position.”

“I appreciate it, so what are we going to do for the next hour and a half?” James asked.

“Well, technically you're able to move, and it would greatly annoy Tony if we were to begin tinkering on that Harley.” Mae said with a grin.

“Ya know, my Ma had a sayin'.” James said. “Don't write a check with your mouth that your ass can't cash.”

“James Barnes, are you saying I don't have a sufficient enough ass to back up my mouth?” Mae teased.

“You askin' me to check you out?” James asked, feigning innocence.

“I just might be.” Mae said. She tossed him his shirt before she made her way over the the Harley, it was currently in a few different pieces, some of those pieces were in piles on the floor or across a separate work bench. “Well, you going to sit there like a lump on a log, or you willing to get dirty with me?”

“Don't gotta tell me twice doll, where'd a nice dame like you learn to tear apart an engine anyways?” James asked.

“I learned to tear apart an engine when I was a kid, I've always been interested in mechanics.” Mae said with a smile. “How's everything feel?”

“Odd, I can feel more in my fingertips.” James said. “The sensations are better than my real hand.”

_Mistress, the food has been delivered, Sir also wanted me to remind you that he knows you're tampering with that motorcycle. He sends his regards._

“Thank you Friday, let Tony know that I appreciate his concern. Please let me know when Darcy and Steve return.” Mae said.

_As you wish._

“I wondered if they would feel more intense to you, Tony came up with an improved Wheatstone bridge to essentially give you more accurate readings.” Mae said.

“Doll, I barely remember high school, you'll have to dumb it down for me.” James said. _Remember when I said that a smart dame like her was goin' places? Yeah she is, and I may not fit in._

“James, the only reason I know those technical terms is because Tony had me help him, and eventually I just started remembering what he was actually trying to teach me.” Mae said. “I won't degrade you by saying that you need a dumbed down version, you're exceptionally bright and I think you'll pick it up quickly.”

They sat in compatible silence, James was finishing up the meal that Mae had ordered. He watched her begin to clean and take apart part of the engine. She was quietly humming while she worked, she looked completely engrossed in her task. It was oddly soothing watching her clean, polish and remake the engine. It reminded him of the few peaceful moments he had when he was the Soldier, cleaning his endless supply of weaponry. His hands twitched for something to work on, he saw a pile of parts sitting on the other side of the table and he moved towards them. She silently passed him a few different rags, and cleaning supplies. He began slowly cleaning the various parts, stripping them of grease, grime, and dirt that he guessed was from World War 2.

_You wished to know when Darcy and Steve returned, they've returned. Also the allotted time has passed and you are free to run a full diagnostic._

“Ready to go kick Steve's ass on that obstacle course?” Mae asked, her grin was predatory. She handed him a few wipes that would clean the grime from his hands.

“Why? Did ya put money on me?” James asked as he scrubbed his hands, the faint citrus smell reminded him of summer.

“Bragging rights alone.” Mae said. “You're both running it blind, so there aren't any technical advantages.”

“Well, I wouldn't wanna let you down.” James said he held out his cybernetic hand and waited for her to take it, her smaller hand fit well into his palm. He immediately knew what her heart rate, temperature were and a few other various things. “Jesus, the feedback is, intense.”

“Ah, well your arm could be used as a lie detector. Just so you know.” Mae said.

Her fingers intertwined with his, he turned to face her before they left the lab. He pulled her in for a kiss, he tried to convey how much he appreciated her, how he treasured her. The Soldier was there, just beyond the thin veil, giving him silent encouragement to press her body against his. Her fingers were buried in his hair, her lips were warm and inviting.

“Thank you Mae.” James said.

“You're welcome, let's go see our welcoming party.” Mae said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate your time, and want to thank you for bearing with me. I love writing and it has been a great source of emotional expression. Thank you for any kudos, and comments I do appreciate them <3
> 
> Also a Wheatstone Bridge is a real application, it's a simple circuit for measuring an unknown resistance by connecting it so as to form a quadrilateral with three known resistances and applying a voltage between a pair of opposite corners. Basically a pressure sensor, as it flexes it's resistance changes. So as the resistance goes down, the voltage goes up. 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @bellenuit45
> 
> I swear I don't bite...hard.


	9. He's Got Rhythm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright so James runs the obstacle course, think Ultimate Ninja but tougher because well he's a Super Soldier..he would laugh at Ultimate Ninja...mere mortals...There's also some development between all of the characters. I will be updating this one in a few days as well.
> 
> BTW to any Marines, Happy Birthday Devil Dogs! 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSilKPBPeZA

“He's got a rhythm and it's all you need,  
So everybody come and rock your thing.  
Take you down to the early days,  
when the champagne flow like a river stream yeah.

Yeah 'cause Imma go down on a railroad track,  
and I ain't going back and no I ain't coming back.”- Railroad Track-Willy Moon

[Railroad Track](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3V8-_Cd_wQ&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&index=23)

 

James and Mae made there way to the central living area. Steve was carrying in various bags filled with various things they had found at the market. Tony was sitting down fiddling with his tablet, he looked up when he saw James and Mae standing before him.

“So, everything's okay then?” Tony asked.

“Yes, everything went fine, the diagnostics should be uploaded to your tablet. Let me know if you see anything that needs to be addressed.” Mae said. “Steve did you guys leave anything for anyone else?”

“Darcy found a lot of stuff that she wants to experiment with.” Steve said with a smile. He looked much more relaxed than he had when they first arrived. “Ya know, there's more bags outside, if you feel like helping.”

“Might as well, I've been blessed with an indestructible and tireless arm.” James said.

“Great I build the perfect arm and you're using it for groceries.” Tony scoffed, the twinkle in his eye belayed his fake annoyance.

“Well, consider it a test of dexterity.” James said before heading outside with Steve.

“How did you get him calmed down?” Tony asked.

“I spoke to him, well the Soldier I suppose.” Mae said. She busied herself in the kitchen, storing the various food stuffs in the pantry and refrigerator. “He isn't a malevolent force, he's very protective. I think he asked you to leave, because he was worried about my safety.”

“He sees me as a threat?” Tony asked.

“Well, he does, you're Iron Man, he didn't forget that you severed his arm, or how deadly you can be. It's hard to explain, I'm going off of what he told me.” Mae said. “You're not just you Tony, you're just as deadly as any of them, your intelligence is something that makes you unpredictable, unpredictable people are dangerous.”

“That actually makes a lot of sense. So this thing with Barnes, serious or no.” Tony asked.

“I don't know, I'd like it to move towards being more serious, but it's not really up to me.” Mae said.

“Do you really want to move with him? You know if he decides to go through with the relief work, I know that was something you wanted at one point.” Tony asked.

“I probably will, he needs someone to maintain his arm, and I could use a break.” Mae said. “I'd like to be a part of his life, helping him rebuild himself, that sounds like a worthy task.”

“You always were so very altruistic.” Tony said. “I have been working on a mobile lab, if you do decide to work in the relief field I'll make sure it's operational. It hooks into the bottom of a quinjet. It also can double as a panic room should something happen.”

“I appreciate that Tony, I do.” Mae said. Tony sauntered over to her before he pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Gotta keep you safe. You're one of the good ones, it's as much for you as it is for me.” Tony said. “So more selfish than anything.”

“Tony, I appreciate it, thank you.” Mae said. This type of affection was far and few between, normally anything that brought on emotions made Tony run for the hills.

“How did you bribe Tony to hug you?” Darcy asked. Her hair was all akimbo and her smile stretched across her face.

“Pledging my eternal servitude of course.” Mae said with a grin.

“And here I thought I was special.” James said.

“You're special Terminator, believe me you are.” Tony said. “She's willing to give up a fully funded lab, something that means something to most Science! Nerds, and she's willing to travel to bum-fuck”

“Travel?” Steve asked.

“Ah, you haven't informed our illustrious Captain about your plans.” Tony said.

“Something we're considering, not set in stone Steve.” James said.

“And that's not something you're ready to talk about, with me.” Steve said.

“It's not that Steve, we haven't decided what we're going to do yet, that's all.” James said.

“Right, well once you figure out what you want let me know?” Steve said before he made his way back to his living quarters.

“Let him go, he's just coming to term with the fact that you may not want to fight anymore.” Darcy said. “He just wants to be close to you again.”

“I understand that, I do, but my life isn't up to him. I've taken enough orders, it's time for me to carve my own path.” James said, he looked over at Mae and noticed that she looked unsure of how she should proceed. He extended his hand towards her and waited for her to take his hand. “I know Steve wants to slip back into that mindset that we had when we were younger, but that isn't going to happen. Neither of us are the men we used to be, and I want him to be part of my life, but he has to quit pushing so much.”

“I know, I'll talk to him. Just try and keep in mind that you're his last connection to his past.” Darcy said. “You're the last part of his history that made him the man he is now.”

Darcy left the kitchen and headed towards their room. Mae's fingers were still entwined with his, he reached over and pulled her into his arms. Tony looked at both of them and sighed softly to himself.

“Well, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest you both look into your options and start planning what you want to do.” Tony said. “I loaded your tablets with possible places to head to work on various relief missions.”

“Thank you Tony.” Mae said softly.

“You're welcome, I'm going to go down to my laboratory.” Tony said before he left too.

“I don't know what to do.” James said.

“Well, why don't I make lunch and we can discuss everything later okay?” Mae said. She looked up at James and saw that he looked so lost, so forlorn. She touched his cheek, cupping his cheek her in hand, she watched his eyes slowly focus on her. He looked like he was lost in his memories, he mumbled something in Russian before he leaned down to press his lips against her forehead.

* * *

 

“I don't understand why he wants to go on some random relief mission, I mean what is he really going to gain by going?” Steve asked.

“Steve, what he gains is freedom from his past with Hydra, he needs this.” Darcy said.

“And he can't do that with us?” Steve asked.

“Sometimes Steve, you have to go out on your own to prove that you can handle any situation. It doesn't mean that you won't see him, it doesn't mean that he doesn't want you around. It means that he's healing and he wants to make his own choices on how to go about that.” Darcy answered. Steve was pacing back and forth, he looked tense and very annoyed.

“I hear what you're saying Darce, but I have to be there for him. Even when I had nothing I had Bucky.” Steve said. He ran his fingers through his hair before he looked over at her.

“You are there for him, you aren't losing him by acknowledging that he wants to find his own path.” Darcy said.

“I hear a 'but' coming.” Steve said. He watched as Darcy smiled at him before she continued.

“You know me so well.” Darcy said with a bright smile. “You will lose him if you keep pushing so hard, don't back him into a corner, let him make his own choices. He wasn't allowed to do that, and you don't want to be the person that drives him away.”

Steve contemplated what she was saying knowing that she was right, part of the reason he was fighting so hard with letting Bucky go, was his fear that he wouldn't be there when Bucky needed him the most. _Or is it your worry that he won't need you anymore?_ Steve closed his eyes and dragged his hand over his eyes before he pinched the bridge of his nose. _She's right, you're going to push him away by being over bearing._

Steve made his way to his bedroom and quickly changed into his tactical suit. He knew that Mae had asked him to run the obstacle course that she had set up. She hadn't given him any hints as to what the course was going to have, all she had said was that he was running it blind. She had asked him to wear his tactical gear and bring his shield.

“Darcy?” Steve called. He waited a few moments before he saw that she had left their apartment. _Great even my girl thinks I'm being an overbearing asshole._ Steve checked his phone and saw that Mae had sent him a message saying that lunch was ready. He headed off towards the kitchen, and prayed that he could keep his opinions to himself.

* * *

 

“So Steve is kind of like a really protective dog...think Labrador holding a duck in it's mouth.” Darcy stated. “What's for lunch?”

“I made a tomato caprese salad, and there's also some grilled steak for steak sandwiches.” Mae said. “I think that Steve will come around.”

“He has to understand that the more he pushes the more resistance he will meet. I worry that he's going to push him away.” Darcy said. “Where's Bucky?”

“He's getting ready for the obstacle course.” Mae said. “Would you message everyone and let them know that lunch is ready?”

“Can do boss lady, well you aren't really my boss but yeah that's habit I suppose.” Darcy said as she quickly sent a mass message out. “How are things?”

“Good, I'd say they're good.” Mae answered as she sliced the steaks for the sandwiches. “I'm happy with where I am, I feel more like the woman I used to be.”

“So have _all the things_ happened?” Darcy inquired.

“No, not all the things exactly.” Mae said. “We've been a little busy to really move forward in that regard.”

“You better text me as soon as it happens, I don't know if it's the serum or the fact that Steve is a super soldier, but you're in for a wild ride!” Darcy said excitedly.

“Well that's good to know, I promise I'll have plenty of girl time with you.” Mae said.

“Girl time?” Tony asked his eyebrows were quirked and a smirk graced his lips.

“Yes, filled with half naked pillow fights, hair braiding, and sex talks.” Darcy said. “Save that for your spank bank Stark.”

“Yep that has been filed.” Tony said with a laugh. He watched as Steve walked in, he was wearing his stealth suit. “All geared up Spangles?”

“I asked him to wear his tactical gear, I figured it would make it more realistic.” Mae said.

“Mae can I talk to you later?” Steve asked.

“Absolutely, I'll be around after you both run the course.” Mae said. She felt a presence behind her before she physically felt James step in behind her. She felt his lips press against her temple in a brief, but protective kiss. “James?”

“Yeah doll?” James asked.

“I made lunch, are you hungry?” Mae asked. “With your upgrades you're going to need to intake more calories and nutrient dense foods.”

“I'm always hungry.” Steve said.

“That hasn't changed, you always were hungry but ya never put on weight.” James said with a smile. “Swear that he had a hollow leg, storin' all the food there.”

“Your Ma used to say it was because I was a growin' boy.” Steve said with a smile.

“She did everything she could to try and fatten you up too.” James added. He pulled away from Mae and she moved towards the kitchen.

“If you plan on eating I could use some help carrying all the food out.” Mae said. She began handing Darcy various plates and cutlery, Tony carried out the salad, and the two super soldiers carried out the massive platter of steak sandwiches. The all murmured their thanks as she began dishing out the food.

“Why aren't you a chef?” Tony moaned as he took a bite of the caprese salad. The fresh basil complimented the balsamic reduction, the creaminess of the mozzarella and tangy flavor of the tomatoes melted across his tongue. “I've had a caprese salad before, but this takes the cake.”

“The sandwiches are flank steak with a raspberry reduction, fresh greens and melted bleu cheese.” Mae said. “I'm glad you're enjoying the food Tony.”

The quiet murmur of them eating came to a close and Mae cleared her throat.

“The course you're both running will need to be ran at least twice. The first run will be just to test your speed, agility and your tactics. The second will be more animated, there will be projections of various targets along the course, you have to take them out with whatever you chose to use and complete the course.” Mae explained. “The projections won't exactly hurt you badly, they can fire rubber bullets and electrified pulses, but nothing life threatening. I'd suggest hydrating a bit, I want you both ready to roll in 30 minutes. For the first time running it, don't wear your weapons, I am more focused on your speed and agility.”

“Mae, do you need to set the course up?” Darcy asked.

“Yes, I'll need 20 minutes to calibrate everything.” Mae answered.

“Tony and I will take care of the dishes then, and you go work on that.” Darcy said.

“Wait...dishes?” Tony asked.

“Yes, dishes. Come on playboy you need to person once in awhile and that includes doing tasks that normal people do everyday.” Darcy said. She was humming “I'll Make a Man out of You” under her breath as she herded Tony towards the kitchen.

* * *

 

“James? Are you ready to test your body out?” Mae asked.

“I think so.” James said quietly. “Mae?”

“Yes?” Mae asked.

“What if _he_ comes out.” James asked. He looked up and saw that Steve was giving him a look of pity. “I don't want or need your pity Steve.”

“Okay before this comes to blows let's take a step back.” Mae said. She reached out and took James' hand in hers. “You said he appeared when you felt threatened correct?”

“Normally yes, but with training he may come out.” James said.

 _You say it like it's a bad thing, you were good when you were in the Army, I just built off of what you already knew. I'm as much a part of you as you are._ James shuddered slightly before he tightened his hand around hers. _She will be there, watching us, use her._ _Use her how?_ _She will give you the strength you need, she reminds you of your humanity, a weakness in my eyes, but she strengthens you._ _You care for her._ _You already knew that, she gives us something we haven't had. Hope._ _She gives us more than that, we have a future with her._ _You have a future with her, one day you won't need me._ _Maybe, but if you're a part of me wouldn't that mean I'm losing a part of myself?_ _In a way, but there will be a day when you don't need this part of you, you don't have to fight anymore. WE don't have to fight, I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of being used for others gains._ _I never wanted to hurt or kill anyone, at least when I fought with the Commando's I knew that what I was doing was the right thing. I was always willing to do what needed to be done to keep Stevie clean, to keep others clean of the blood on my hands. Now?_ _Now we can choose to do what we want, chose our own missions, our own targets if they come up._ _Together._ _Together._

“James?” Mae said. “Are you alright?”

“'m fine Mae, really.” James said, he tried to put on a convincing smile. He looked over at Steve and smiled at him. “Stevie, sometimes I hate how stubborn you are, but if you weren't as stubborn as a mule you wouldn't be you.”

“And you're here to call me on my shit, again.” Steve said. “Sometimes I need that, Darcy said I need a keeper sometimes. She's also said that I need to be aware of your wants and needs.”

“She sounds like a swell dame Stevie, I'm happy for you.” James said, his smile was real this time. “What is it about you and loud mouth brunets?”

“It's just as weird seeing you concentrate on one dame.” Steve said. He watched Mae's eyes flash slightly and James tightened his hold on her. “Shit, okay I didn't mean it like that.”

“Don't worry I know all about Bucky's propensities for skirt chasing.” Mae said with a laugh. She watched as Steve flushed pink. She tried to make sure James understood that when he was younger, when he _was_ Bucky that he was different and she could see that.

“That's one way of explaining it, he get around to tellin' you about the double dates he tried setting up for us?” Steve asked.

“No, but I feel like this is something best explained over dinner when Darcy is present.” Mae said.

“You're not supposed to gang up on me, some pal you are Stevie.” James said.

“Ain't ganging up on you if it's all true.” Steve teased.

Mae watched their verbal volley and smiled to herself, she enjoyed seeing them both unburdened with the weight that was normally on their shoulders. _I have to ask Darcy to double date, it might give them a sense of peace being in a neutral situation. It could help them build on their relationship now, and still help them bridge that part of them that lives in the past._

“Alright well you two need to head down and get prepared for this afternoons course, I will have to attach various contact points to gauge your reactions and your statistics.” Mae said.

“Ever feel like you're a rat in a rat race?” James asked Steve.

“Maybe sometimes better than being a dancing monkey, and Mae isn't going to use us.” Steve said with a grin.

“No I won't. James I don't want you to run the course because I want to exploit you. I do need to calibrate your arm based off of the calculations from running this simulation, but I'm not doing this to gauge you as an Asset.” Mae said softly.

“I know doll, I'm giving you a hard time.” James said.

He pulled her in for a quick kiss before he threw his arm around Steve. Mae began skipping slightly while she hummed “We're off the see the wizard”. Both men began laughing, they did join her in skipping and humming as they made their way down to the obstacle course.

* * *

 

“Okay I need you both to stand still for a moment, I have to attach a few of these points over various parts of your body.” Mae said. “Tony can you work on neutral calibrations while I begin activating the contact points?”

“Sure, this should be fun. Did you design the course?” Tony asked.

“Mostly, I took the varied experiences they both had to create a course that would challenge them. There's various tasks you'll both have to perform in order to receive a completed evaluation.” Mae said as she began sticking the thin contacts across James' body. Darcy was working on Steve, looking back to see where Mae was sticking them to James. “The course is going to judge your agility, strength, speed and tactical mindset. You're running it completely blind, neither of you will see the other perform the tasks needed to complete the course.”

“They are synched to Friday.” Tony said. “All contacts are working and running baselines as well.”

“Thank you Tony, alright boys who's going to be brave and go first?” Mae teased. She heard James' arm calibrate and whirl to life.

“I'm ready.” James said. “I would like to run it first.”

“Okay, Steve I need you to wait next door, you won't be able to see him running the course.” Mae said. As Steve departed Mae walked James to the lift that would take him down to the course, she selected the lower level of the training course. “How are you feeling?”

“I'm excited and apprehensive as well.” James stated. “If I was supposed to run a course while I was indoctrinated with Hydra I was expected to perform at above normal expectations or I was punished.”

“This was designed to test you, I want you to know that I will never ever punish you. You do your best, you do it to satisfy yourself, not for anyone else besides yourself.” Mae said. She wrapped her arms around his neck before she whispered to him. “You are your own person, complete your task to the best of your ability without harming yourself. There isn't a standard so there isn't a way for me to even gauge your trial run. I am so proud of you James Barnes.”

“ты гордишься мной?” James asked. {Are you proud of me?}

“I will always be proud of you.” Mae said. “You protect each other, why wouldn't I be proud?”

She knew she was talking to the Solider now, and she reached up to press a chaste kiss to his lips, a reassurance that she knew who was in control. His arms tightened around her as he turned the kiss into something more demanding, more visceral. He dominated her movements, pressing her against the wall of the lift, his flesh hand wound it's way into her hair as his mechanical hand tightened it's grip on her wrists that were being held above her head. The kiss turned into something more primal, his tongue worked against her mouth, his teeth nipping and biting across her throat. She tried to tilt her head to give him access to her throat as a sign of trust, his grip tightened in her hair and she gasped at the slight sting. His teeth bit harshly into her throat, while his tongue and lips soothed away the rough bite. James wasn't as possessive as the Soldier, James had felt the soft and kind touches that came from human contact; the Solider was only shown pain, in some ways the Solider wasn't sure how to touch without hurting so he turned to possession instead of creating outright pain.

“ты принадлежишь мне.” James said. _She belongs to us, but she is still her own person._ _As if you don't want to make her belong to you and you alone._ _I want whatever she's willing to give me, nothing more and nothing less._ _You don't think she's offering herself to us? She is ours! Ours to protect._ _I can't disagree, she is ours to cherish, to care for._ {You belong to me.}

“James.” Mae moaned, she knew he was marking her neck to show ownership in some ways, but it also marked her as his. His to protect, to cherish, to care for. The solider knew nothing of love, at least he had never experienced it for himself. “We can talk about this later, when we aren't putting a show on for anyone else.”

“Разве я ранить Вас?” James asked. {Did I hurt you?}

“No, you didn't hurt me. My neck might be a little sore, but you didn't hurt me.” Mae said. The soldier released her hands, while he maintained eye contact with her. She watched as he closed his eyes, when he reopened them they were filled with concern. “I'm fine James, truthfully I enjoyed it.”

“I'm sorry doll, don't know what got into me.” James said quietly. He pressed a gentle kiss against her neck before he pulled away from her. Her neck was a mess of color, bright red marks decorated her slender throat. “Ah Fuck, I'm sorry Mae.”

“Don't apologize, we'll talk about it later, until then good luck. I'm not upset with you, I wasn't lying when I said I enjoyed it. This just isn't the proper place to explore that avenue of our relationship.” Mae said, she smoothed his hair before she checked him over. Seeing him in his tactical gear was a sight she didn't want to forget. He commanded a room with his sheer presence. His eyes were starting to look colder, more focused, as if he was trying to assess what was behind the lift doors. “You're going to do just fine James.”

“Kiss for good luck?” James asked.

“One for the road, and one when you get back.” Mae said. He pulled her tightly against him and pressed a warm kiss to her lips, he stroked her check gently before he kissed her forehead.

When he exited the lift he turned to meet her gaze, he could see admiration and compassion in her eyes.

“Смотрите вы скоро моя маленькая звезда.” James said. {See you soon my little star} He nodded to her before the lift doors closed, the room was dark and he knew that he had less than a minute before the exercise began. He took a deep breath before he prepared to run the course set in front of him.

* * *

 

When the lift made it's way back up towards the command center Mae saw that Darcy and Tony were already taking positions around the various monitors. Darcy looked over at her and gestured towards her neck. Mae felt a rush of blood flush her cheeks staining them a faint red, she rolled her eyes at Darcy and nodded towards the screens.

“Is everything ready to go?” Mae asked.

“About as ready as ever, holy shit, what did he do to your neck?!” Tony exclaimed.

“Nothing I wasn't prepared to give.” Mae said confidently.

“He basically pissed on your leg letting everyone know you're his.” Tony said.

“A hickie and being pissed on aren't even on the same scale Tony.” Darcy said. She gave Mae a thumbs up before she pulled her shirt lower and showed her that Steve had left bite marks all along her collarbones. “*cough* 9 foot rabbit.”

“Same concept.” Tony stated. “And Pepper loved that rabbit.”

“Keep telling yourself that Tony.” Darcy teased.

“James, you're going to hear a count down and you'll begin as soon as the countdown finishes. You'll have ten seconds before you're able to begin. The course will be lit with arrows that you have to follow, but the terrain will change as you move through it. If you're injured I want you to immediately say something and we will shut it down.” Mae said through the intercom. “Can you confirm you understand the rules?”

“Understood.” James said. His voice was deeper in some ways, darker if that was any indication of how serious he was taking it.

“ _Count down initiated, 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0-Mark.”_

As soon as the lights came on James snapped his gaze across the course, he could see the exit on the other side, it looked like the course was roughly 300 yards, he could see the various obstacles and he knew that they would change to match the way he moved. The first obstacle was a vertical wall that had few cut outs to use as hand holds. He ran towards the wall and he used his forward momentum to run up the wall before he pushed off hand hold to get up and over the wall. He saw faint green arrows pointing towards his next position. There was a bar that dropped down from the ceiling, he saw that he would have to swing towards his next obstacle, a 4' by 9' board was suspended from the ceiling, it ran parallel to the floor and it had cut outs in it. He saw that on the bar there were two “I” shaped handles. He knew he would have to grab them and use them in the cut outs to move across the suspended boards. He slipped the keys into his tactical vest before he lept from the bar to the suspended board. At the last moment he grabbed the keys and inserted them into the board, making his way across the board by extending his arms to reach the next key hole. Instead of moving all the way across the next board he began using his upper body strength to begin swinging his legs towards the landing mat. When he flew through the air he looked graceful and determined. He landed silently on the landing platform before he sized up the next obstacle, there were 5 boards that hung vertically from the ceiling, the top of the boards were no more than 2'' in width that tapered down to ½ '. He jumped onto the first board, and he had to use his strong legs to keep him vertical, he then lept from board to board before he made his dismount.

The next obstacle was a mock cliff face, the hand holds were small, they were no more than 2'' in height and no more than 6'' in width. _Stevie is going to struggle with this, his extra weight will be a detriment here._ The hand holds were spaced in a pattern that meant he was going to need to use every once of strength he had, half way though the course he would have to make a vertical leap of 6' to catch the next hand hold, and after that he had to do a full 180º to reach the next hand hold. He swiftly moved across the rock face, when he reached the vertical part of the course he used his enhanced strength and mechanized arm to propel him into the air, he pushed off the rock face and caught the suspended rocks hand holds. The next ledge was three feet to his left and the hand hold shrunk to a ½ '' in height. He grabbed a hold of it before dismounting to the next obstacle. There were vertical poles that descended from the ceiling, he assumed that they would drop some as his weight was added, after that there was a plexiglass plate that had more hand holds that he'd have to grab, what made it difficult was that it was at a 30º angle from the floor, he would have to swing from the poles, twist his body and catch the hand holds. He used his entire body to scale the various poles, they didn't each drop, it almost seemed like a random pattern, when he got to the plexiglass plate he used his mechanized hand to dig into the grips. He quickly made his way across the plexiglass plate, using the strength in his upper body to swing himself onto the next platform. _How long do you think we've been doing this? Gotta beat Stevie._

He saw that there were two final obstacles that tied into each other. He was guessing that these were the ones that would test his stealth and speed the most. He saw various circular platforms that moved at random intervals, they looked like they were no more than 6'' in diameter, he saw that they lit up with a green arrow to give him a specific direction to move forward in. He took a running leap and quietly jumped from station to station, each landing pad dipped and swayed as he landed. He went to slide towards the next pad when the green arrow turned off and the pad retracted from view. He propelled himself towards the next landing pad, they were timed and if you didn't move quickly enough the task would end. He made it the rest of the way across, and assessed the last part of the obstacle course. It was another elevator shaft that had two suspended rings hanging from the ceiling, it was partly a strength exercise along with a speed test. He used his strong upper body strength to propel himself up the elevator shaft, every time he pulled himself up with the rings his body would climb the shaft. It looked like he was running up an invisible ladder. When he reached the half way point there was a pole that extended across the width of the elevator shaft, _a salmon ladder more upper body work._ He hung form the pole, his body perpendicular to the floor, he had to use his core muscles to propel himself up the salmon ladder, he saw that he had another twenty feet to go, child’s _play._ When he reached the apex of the ladder he swung his body up through the top of the hole.

“Congratulations James, you did it.” Mae said proudly. She handed him a bottle of water and leaned in to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Well your baselines are reestablished and you pretty much kicked the ass of that course.” Darcy said.

“Thank you, that was, fun.” James said. He was grinning brightly at all of them. “What was my time?”

“You put us mere mortals to shame, 3:15:04. You can't make microwaved popcorn that quickly.” Tony stated. “Capsicle is going to have a hell of a time with some of those.”

“To be fair, I have had more training with stealth than he has.” James replied. “Doesn't mean I will go easy on him either.”

Steve walked back into the room, he noticed that Bucky wasn't winded, and that he looked very pleased with himself.

“So I'm guessing that went well.” Steve said. He watched as a smile light up Bucky's face.

“You have some stiff competition.” Tony said.

“You'll be fine.” James said.

* * *

 

Darcy went into the lift with Steve while Tony and Mae reset the course. Mae was looking over James' data, his heart rate was a steady beat, very rarely fluctuating from his original baseline. She began running a few calculations based off of the data that she had, she looked up and saw that James was staring at her while he smiled.

“I am so proud of you James, you did exceptionally well.” Mae said.

“Thank you Mae, I'm glad I have you.” James said. Her eyes softened slightly and she smiled. Her smile was like the first rays of sun after a grey winter, the kind that warmed you from the inside out. _**Home. Hope.**_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with my random updates, lately my muse has been going strong so woohoo!! I appreciate your comments and your kudos seriously when I get an email that says I have kudos or comments I do the epic spazzy dance. I'd record it but that's like the ultimate blackmail. I have 0% dance skills...
> 
> I promise the next update will have Steve and James talking it out and we will see where Mae and James decide to go next. <3
> 
> Love you all, find me on tumblr bellenuit45 I am still figuring it out and I'll be posting my stories there at some point. <3


	10. Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets his chance to run the course that they set up. James and Mae began establishing themselves as really being together. Darcy gives a little insight to how well she knows Mae. 
> 
> No smut yet! Just a warning. Any mistakes are solely mine.

“ **Like a hand grenade, thrown in a hurricane. Spinning in chaos, trying to escape the flame.**

**Yesterday is gone, faster than the blast of a car bomb.**

**And when the scars heal, the pain passes. As hope burns, we rise from the ashes.**

**Darkness fades away, and the light shines on a brave new day.** ”

-Rise Skillet

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvbKQJ-nh28&index=25&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&shuffle=226](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvbKQJ-nh28&index=25&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&shuffle=226)

 

“Steve are you ready?” Darcy asked.

“What did you bet?” Steve asked. He watched his girls eyes shine with amusement.

“Who said I bet anything?” Darcy asked. She grabbed the front of Steve's stealth suit and pulled him down for a kiss, she had no illusions that he leaned down towards her. She couldn't move him unless he wanted it. “Unless you want to make a bet with me, and did you know there's entire fandoms regarding your stealth suit of sex?”

“I've learned that you don't bet unless you already know the outcome.” Steve said. He cradled her face in his hands. “And you may have mentioned that a time or two."

“Only because you lost the last few, I'm not the master tactician. I am the coffee gofer, the social media goddess, and last but not least your best girl.” Darcy said.

“You forgot a few things, but I'll let it slide.” Steve said.

“Get on with it, you can do this.” Darcy said, she playfully slapped his butt as he left the lift.

When she returned to the control room she watched as Mae tenderly checked over James, she was so careful with him even though he was built stronger than an Abraham Tank. She studied James' profile, he looked every ounce of a soldier, broad shoulders, muscular thighs, and an essence about him that screamed dangerous. What softened him was the look in his eyes, _the eyes are the windows to the soul_ , his eyes were filled with... _love._ He smiled down at Mae, and it was like watching a hurricane ebb and flow, he was like the sunlight amidst the storm. He cautiously used the knuckles on his flesh hand to stroke her cheek, whispering some endless words of endearment. Darcy couldn't help but smile at them, when she first met Mae she was so withdrawn, she was empty.

\----Flashback-----

“ _Maeve?” Darcy called. Mae had a lab right next door to Jane, and occasionally Darcy would bring her coffee and sustenance._

“ _Oh hi Darcy, I'm sorry I hope you weren't waiting long.” Mae said. Darcy remembered how tiny she was, she knew that Maeve rarely ate or slept, she looked broken barely holding on by a thread._

“ _No worries Doc, I understand.” Darcy said with a bright smile. “I brought you this.”_

“ _You're so sweet, I'm really not hungry.” Mae said._

“ _When did you eat last?” Darcy asked as she gave the older woman a pointed look._

“ _Last night, but I've had a few supplements so I'm fine.” Mae stated. When she met Darcy's kind eyes she sighed, she hadn't been taking care of herself. She used her work to drown out the pain._

“ _Well, you have to either eat a piece of fruit, cheese and a small piece of protein or I'll shut the lab down and have you locked out of anything that you could potentially work on.” Darcy said._

“ _Darcy, threatening the woman that's about to inject you with a sharp needle doesn't sound wise.” Mae teased as she prepared the injection._

“ _No I'm suggesting that you change your tune before I have to remind you that you need to person more often.” Darcy said._

“ _I'm fine but thank you. I promise to eat the fruit and the bit of lean protein.” Mae said. She prepared Darcy's arm and set her up to receive her injection. “This will keep you protected for 3 years, you won't have to remove it, it slowly degrades over time without losing it's ability to protect you.”_

“ _What will Science! Come up with next?” Darcy said. “And it definitely protects me against super soldier swimmers?”_

“ _Yes I made sure that it would. You might be slightly cranky for a few days while your body gets used to it. You also won't have a period any more, you might spot a few days once or twice a year but the cramping, and such will also abate.” Mae stated._

“ _This needs to be mass produced, it would help so many women out there.” Darcy said._

“ _That's why I created it, to provide long term protection without interfering with your body too much.” Mae stated._

“ _So, how have you been?” Darcy asked. “No bullshit either.”_

“ _You're going to feel a snap, and it'll be over. I'm fine Darcy, really. I'm seeing a grief therapist and it helps a lot.” Mae stated._

“ _All you do is work, work out and occasionally you help the others. What about you?” Darcy asked._

_Mae focused on her task while she thought about what Darcy was saying. It was true she had sequestered herself far from everyone, Tony was usually the only one that was able to pull her out of a funk. How was she supposed to move on when her whole world had come crashing down around her head?_

“ _Steve has to talk to you later.” Darcy said._

“ _Inhale, hold it, ---snap---, and we're done.” Mae said she placed an Iron Man band-aid across the entry point. “Is he going to see if I can potentially reverse what was done to his friend?”_

“ _Got it in one, and Doc, you might want to tell people that it isn't a snap more like a, 'holy mother shit balls of oh it's done', sort of pressure then a pop.” Darcy said._

“ _I would need full access to Sergeant Barnes' medical records, and with everything that's been happening I'm not sure how long I'll be here.” Mae stated._

“ _Because of the Accords?” Darcy asked. “Jane and I went over them and we can see a lot of inconsistencies and they are frankly wrong on so many levels. You should join us, we enjoyed ripping them apart.”_

“ _The last time I saw you two we got raving drunk and went streaking through the tower.” Mae stated._

“ _All in good fun right?” Darcy said._

“ _I couldn't look Steve in the eye for weeks. But the Accords are going to potentially tear everyone apart, Tony, well you know how he can be and really the same can be said of Steve. They're so alike in some ways, they're bound to fight.” Mae stated._

“ _Well it'll be okay right? Maybe we can just go to Asgard. Jane and Thunder Thighs owe me a trip anyways.” Darcy said. “Coming to dinner?”_

“ _Probably not, I'm so close to figuring this out.” Mae said._

“ _Barton and Natasha will be here.” Darcy said._

“ _I'll see them both later, really Darcy I'm fine.” Mae said._

“ _If by fine you mean trying to avoid everyone here, then yes you're fine.” Darcy said._

“ _If I get stuck I'll join you for dinner.” Mae stated._

“ _That's all I ask. Oh and maybe a pony, Stark said he'd get me a pony.” Darcy said. She once again eyed the older woman, she wasn't sure how old she really was but her eyes had a timelessness to them. “I'll get out of your hair so you can get back to work, but dinner tonight..or I'm sending Natasha down here.”_

“ _You do know that she doesn't scare me, right?” Mae said. The two women had bonded over the gun range when they first met, and to her knowledge she was one of the only doctors that Natasha would seek out when she was injured. They bonded over a pile of spent brass and gun powder, it was a good evening._

“ _She would climb you like the proverbial tree.” Darcy said._

" _Projecting your own fantasies? I'm a little short to be a tree anyways.” Mae said._

“ _Groom you like a shrubbery?” Darcy asked. “Who doesn't like a little woman on woman action?”_

“ _Fair point.” Mae said. When she left Mae had ordered a coffee cup that looked like a Holy Hand Grenade for Darcy. She appreciated what the younger woman was trying to do, but her heart wasn't looking for a closer companion._

\-----End Flashback-----

Darcy smiled brighter as she watched just how tenderly Bucky was being with Mae, he looked at her like she was made out of spun glass, a precious piece of art that he could cherish the rest of his days. Bucky was usually in two modes around Darcy; joking and happy, or quiet and brooding; after he met Mae he started to open up more and she knew that Steve appreciated it. Even when they butted heads, she knew that Steve appreciated what Mae was doing for Bucky. Seeing his eyes filled with what she would tentatively say was love was more than she was able to believe. He was making leaps and bounds now that he was healed from the conditioning and programming, but she knew it would take a long time before he was a peace with who he really was, he was going to need a solid support structure and she knew Mae would give that to him. She looked up at the screens that displayed Steve running through the obstacle course, he was more than halfway through but he was running it slower than Bucky had. Steve had a blockier build, and the extra weight he carried because of it messed with him. She had made him read up on body dysmorphia because in some ways he still saw himself as that skinny kid from Brooklyn, even though he had years of experience in his current body. He seemed more at peace with who he was, everything that had happened to him lately was really a drain on his soul, and Darcy tried to be as supportive as she could. She still felt like she had to fight with his attention sometimes, he was so used to everyone looking at him for answers that sometimes he forgot that he was allowed to take time to himself.

“I can see him thinking from here.” Tony said.

“Steve is better at tactics, but sometimes he moves like a lumbering ox.”James stated. “I remember he kept trippin' over his feet, it was like watchin' a colt take its first steps.”

“He's gotten better about that, but the first few dances we tried together were pretty amusing.” Darcy said with a smile. “He felt bad for stepping on my toes that he lifted me up to stand on top of his feet.”

“I have video of it too, not as funny as when he first met you.” Tony said. He looked over at the rest of the group, and saw that they were intently listening to him. “He walked straight into a door because he got an eyeful of Lewis bent over while she worked on some cobbled together machinery in Foster's lab.”

“He bent the door frame, it was like he forgot what he was doing. The noise scared the shit out of me, when I looked up he was blushing so fiercely that I thought he was going to combust.” Darcy said with a laugh.

“Sounds like Stevie, used to be horrible with dames, he'd get all tongue tied.” James said. “Sure has a thing for mouthy brunettes.”

“So, were you two ever a thing? Inquiring minds want to know.” Darcy asked with a lavish grin. “You're far mouthier than I will ever be.”

“Doll, I'm all for equal rights, but no Stevie and I were never a thing.” James said. “You give me a run for my money in tha' department.”

“Dammit! I had a bet with someone on tumblr regarding you two being all hot and heavy.” Darcy said with a pout.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I'm pretty taken with my own dame.” James said. Mae flushed slightly at his declaration, he pulled her into his arms.

“You are a feely feeler who feels Buck-a-roo. I knew you had it in you.” Darcy teased.

“Nah, just taken with this dish I've got in my arms.” James said confidently.

“Pretty taken with you too Sergeant” Mae said. It wasn't unusual that he was affectionate, regardless of what state he was in, but she appreciated his ability to be forth coming with his affection.

“Wouldn't have it any other way, you're mine.” James stated.

“No one's dumb enough to argue that point with you Tin-man.” Tony said.

“Tony technically aren't you the Tin-Man?” Mae asked.

“Fair point. Ah and here comes Capsicle.” Tony said.

“Well done Steve, you both move so differently, but you did very well.” Mae said.

“What was my time?” Steve asked. “Tony we should use a course like this to train against.”

“3:35:03, mildly slower than James, but your experience is varied so it's not surprising.” Mae stated. “I look forward to seeing how you both react as you both run the course together. It will change again and you'll have to work in a team to get through it.”

“Could they run it tomorrow? I want to go over the data and see what their weaknesses and strengths are.” Tony stated as he fiddled with his tablet.

“Sounds good to me.” Steve said.

“That's fine by me.” James replied.

“Well I'd say hit the showers but neither of you are even sweating.” Mae said. “I am slightly jealous that you're both easily able to run that course and not work up a sweat. I'd be a mess if I ran it.”

“That so doll?” James asked.

“James Barnes your charming as ever, but yes us mere mortals tend to sweat when there's physical exertion.” Mae said.

“Unlike you two, working out means sweating and looking like a drowned cat.” Darcy added.

“You know Stevie, these two broads seem to think that they can run that course, maybe they should put their money where their mouths are.” James said with a sly smirk.

“I didn't sign up for a work out, my idea of a workout involves calming music and my yoga mat. Not playing Ultimate Ninja.” Darcy stated.

“You chicken Darcy girl?” Steve asked, he adopted James' smirk.

“You are such a shit stirrer Steven.” Darcy said.

“I'll run it.” Mae said calmly. She knew that Steve, Tony and James had never seen her work out, and she figured she'd surprise them slightly. “I can't run the exact same course, we did modify it because you're both super soldiers.”

“I feel like there's a bet coming.” Tony said. “Money, favors or simple bragging rights?”

“Yes.” Darcy stated. She was busy sending a text message out to Clint, she knew he'd find it amusing, he had seen Mae move throughout the training rooms in the tower. She also sent a text to Natasha knowing that she had been training with Mae off and on since they met. “Do I get a cut of the proceeds?”

“Split 50/50.” Mae stated.

“Done. Usual circumstances?” Darcy asked. Steve, James and Tony looked at each other with slightly confused expressions.

“Yes, normal circumstances, guessing you're going to run a feed to Nat and Clint.” Mae said.

“Yep, they both put money down on you.” Darcy said. “Oh Wilson bet against you, and he will be here in a few days.”

“If he thinks he can take me without the wings, he has another thing coming.” Mae said. “James don't worry I won't take you for all you're worth.”

“I wouldn't bet against her.” Darcy stated.

“Darcy you know something we don't?” Steve asked.

“No, but I know when a gauntlet is thrown down, and Mae never lets that shit slide.” Darcy said.

“What's the current spread?” Tony asked.

“Well, right now 2/1 on Mae finishing it, but we haven't asked everyone to bet yet. Oh I should text Maria she will get a kick out of this.” Darcy said.

“Doll, you don't seriously think you can compete against us do you?” James asked.

“In an arm wrestling contest, not so much, but against you in an obstacle course? Maybe.” Mae said.

“Wanna up the ante?” James asked.

“What are you willing to offer?” Tony asked.

“That's between her and myself.” James said with a smile.

“We shall see then won't we.” Mae said. “Tony calibrate the course for a standard human, don't go easy on me, but don't assume the rest of us can do a vertical leap like these two over achievers.”

“You can't just 10 feet in the air?” Steve teased.

“If you tossed me, that's basically double my height.” Mae said. “I'm going to go change, and I'll be back down momentarily.”

* * *

 

James followed Mae out of the control room, lacing his fingers with hers. _She might do well, she's stronger than she looks. Yes_ ** _, she moves like a dancer, do you remember Natalia?_** _I do, she isn't like the Widow._ ** _I have a feeling that she's more like Natalia than you're willing to admit._** _And yet she is years ahead of Natasha in other ways, she doesn't fear us._ ** _Natalia doesn't fear anything, we trained her that way._** _She will always fear us, we trained her to respond to us._ ** _Fear is a weakness, we taught her that weakness will not be tolerated. A weak asset is a useless asset, and there's no place for something that is useless._** _Lucky we don't have to think that way any longer._ ** _Perhaps. Darcy, she sees much more than she lets on._** _And?_ ** _She's a good influence on Steve._** _They make each other happy._ ** _As does Mae, she makes you happy._** _Us. She makes us happy._ ** _I am content with her, and I would protect her for the rest of her life._** _You think we'll out live her?_ ** _We don't age the way she will, one day we'll bury her too._** _Maybe, we don't have the most stable of careers, but we don't have to do that any more._ ** _No, the relief missions she wants to participate in, they're still in war zones. We get to decide where we go._** _Any place stand out?_ ** _Sokovia, here in Wakanda?_** _Both would be a good start._ ** _We'll never be free of the blood on our hands._** _No, but it's a start._

“Doll?” James asked as they stood in her bedroom. “What do you think about Sokovia and Wakanda?”

“Wakanda is a beautiful place filled with so many different things, and it's friendly. Sokovia, the rebuilding is still going on, and the need relief more than here.” Mae said. She began pulling out clothes to run the course. “Are you narrowing down where you want to go?”

“Trying to, Sokovia sounds good, the language is easy to speak.” James stated. He watched as she slid out of her clothes, her body was compact, lean muscle graced her.

“What?” Mae asked when she caught James watching her.

“Nothing just admiring the view.” James said. “And what a beautiful view I have.”

“Aren't you charming as ever.” Mae replied.

“So what will the stakes be?” James asked. “You won't beat my time, or Steve's.”

“We shall see.” Mae said as she pulled on a cat suit. She bent over to slip on her shoes, they reminded him of a ballet dancers en pointe shoes, the arch was curved and the toe slightly pointed. “What you didn't think I was going to do the course in heels did you?”

“I didn't know you had tactical gear.” James replied.

“I like to be prepared.” Mae said with a smile. “I might just surprise you.”

“You usually do doll, you usually do.” James said. “Don't think too poorly of me, but I am look forward to peeling you out of that suit with my teeth.”

“Promises.” Mae replied. She heard his arm make a faint whirl, she needed to remind Tony to re-calibrate his arm so it wouldn't make any noise. “So what stakes do you think are appropriate?”

“Well, I've never seen you in action, so you have me at a disadvantage.” James said.

“I think I'll be under 10 minutes for sure.” Mae said confidently. “I'm thinking I can do it it under 7 if I push myself.”

“I'll take that bet, I win Doll, and I want you to be mine and mine alone.” James said, his eyes darkened at the prospect of having her to himself. “I want you to be mine without any interruptions for 12 hours.”

“I would have done that regardless, but I agree to your terms.” Mae said.

“Wasn't quite finished Doll, The first half I want to take you out, on the town. Dinner, dancing and if I'm lucky I'll be able to see you move around on the dance floor, maybe sneak a kiss or two. After that though, he wants his own time with you.” James said. His eyes were dark, lit with seduction and possession. “Согласны ли вы на мои условия маленькая звезда?” {Do you agree to my terms little star}

“And what might we accomplish together?” Mae asked. The soldier had taken over, or he was over shadowing James. He stalked towards her, he moved with a purpose until he closed in on her, backing her up against the wall.

“Я сделаю вам мое во всех отношениях, что я могу.” James said. {I'll make you mine, in every way that I can.} He slipped his arm behind her as he pressed in against her, he eyed her, and he unzipped her suit so he could see the bite mark he had left. His lips were curled into a wicked smile that promised unbridled passion. “Я хочу услышать, что вы кричите мое имя.” {I want to hear you scream my name.}

“James.” Mae uttered, she stood on her tip toes before she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

“да моя маленькая звезда?” James asked. {Yes, my little star?}

“I will complete it in the time frame I specified, but you can have me without winning a bet.” Mae said. She knew that she was challenging him by meeting his eyes, her small acts of defiance lit a fuse in him. His blue eyes held a fire that was unquenchable. “Я только твой, ты мой солдат.”{I am only for you, you are my soldier.}

“Да, как раз за вами.” James stated. “там никогда не будет никого, кроме вас.” {Yes, just for you. There never be anyone but you.}

James stared deeply into her eyes, seeking the truth of her words, his mechanized hand held hers. Her pulse was slow and steady, he could only taste truth in her words. _She means it, she is ours._ ** _Good we never have shared well._** _You're far more possessive than I am._ ** _I am nothing without you, you are possessive, but you are correct I am more so._** _That may be, but you are_ _more_ _possessive._ ** _She is ours, and we will not share her._** _The thing is, we won't have to. Look at her devotion to us,_ ** _she's ours._**

_Sir wonders if you're ready, he said that the course is ready._

“Thank you Friday.” Mae said. “Please let him know we are on our way back down.”

_Of course Mistress._

“Shall we?” Mae asked.

“Я хотел бы следовать за вами в ад, and protect you for the rest of your days.” James said. {I would follow you to Hell}

“Then this should be slightly easier, and until the end of _our_ days, we can travel together.” Mae said.

She could tell that he was lost in his own mind, _how many demons does he fight? How often does he truly face the things that haunt him?_ It was easy to push past the terror that he lived in when he was joking around, but she had noticed that he was speaking more fluently in Russian, something she associated with the Soldier. _That part of his personality will never fully vanish, it's as much a part of him now that Bucky used to be, and you lov...cherish them both._

* * *

 

“We have a substantial betting pool Boss Lady, looks like we might be able to sweep them all.” Darcy said with a grin. She knew that Mae wasn't just a lab rat, and that she would do well on the obstacle course.

“When did you get a cat suit?” Steve asked.

“Always good to be prepared, and Tony insisted that I have something that could be considered combat ready.” Mae said.

“Mae believes that she can do the course in under 10 minutes on the outside and under 7 on the inside. So that's the parameters that we will have to go off of.” James said. “Are you going to let her view the course before she starts or is she running it blind.”

“I will run it blind, after all that helps catalogue how tactical I can be.” Mae stated. “Am I allowed to bring any toys or am I running off my own steam?”

“You wear your gauntlets if you want, not sure how much they will help you though.” Tony said.

“Is the course ready Tony?” Mae asked. She was stretching and trying to limber up while she was waiting.

“Head on down, do you have your communications linked up?” Tony asked.

“That they are, if you shit talk me Stark I get one free punch.” Mae said.

“Done!” Steve said. He sounded incredibly excited about that idea. “Those bastards hurt!”

“LANGUAGE!” Everyone collectively shouted.

“I'm never going to live that down am I?” Steve said sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his neck before he looked up and saw that Bucky was bent in half and seemingly dying of laughter.

“No, no you won't.” James said. “I can't believe you really said that during an offensive, especially because you swear like a sailor, least you used to. Ma used to cuff your ear when she heard you, then she would force us both to go to double Mass.”

“I forgot about that, she about tanned your hide when she heard me. She assumed I got you started with it.” Steve said, tears were forming in his eyes as he laughed.

“Ya, she was so chuffed off, spittin' like a wet hen.” James said his eyes were twinkling brightly with the memories he had made with Steve. “Thought she was gonna hit me with that skillet, the one she kept threatin' us with.”

“She wouldn't even believe me when I said I picked it up on my own. Grabbed us both by the ears and washed our mouths with soap.” Steve said.

“We were what, 15?” James asked.

“I think so, and yeah your Ma was somethin' else, didn't take any shit.” Steve said.

The rest of the room was laughing heartily with them, the lingering tension that had occurred earlier in the day vanished. Steve had his hand on James' shoulder while he laughed, it felt so normal to him. It felt like he had Bucky back from before the war, and he cherished it. It detracted the pain of losing his friend, he knew that Bucky wouldn't ever be just the carefree guy he had been and Steve was beginning to realize that this Bucky was just as amazing. He wasn't going to lose anything, and he needed to talk to him about it. Bucky deserved his support in going after something that truly made himself happy, and if a relief mission would make him feel better then Steve would support him.

"Alright tiny and sassy ready to run?” Tony asked.

“More than ever.” Mae said with a saucy wink. “James will you give me a send off?”

“Doll, it would be my genuine pleasure.” James said. He followed her into the lift and smiled, he had a beautiful woman with a heart of gold, brains to match her personality, and most of all she looked at him like he had a future. A future that wasn't carved out of blood and terror. “I'm the luckiest sonuva gun, if I had to re do my life, I wouldn't change it, because it brought you into my life.”

“Oh James, you really are the most amazing man, you've survived so much throughout your life, and you remained a good man. An honest and compassionate man.” Mae said. A single tear escaped her eyes, James used his mechanical hand to wipe away the tear.

“You can do this sweetheart, go show them what you're made outta.” James said. He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips before he playfully slapped her butt.

Mae was surrounded in darkness, she began to control her breathing.

“Good luck Mae.” Darcy called.

“Thank you, prepare to lose your money.” Mae said.

* * *

She heard the count down before the chime announced that she could begin. Her first obstacle required her to jump from the main platform onto smaller floating plates. She chose her path and began elegantly jumping from plate to plate before she dove off the last one into a roll. When she stood up she began sprinting for the rock wall, she used her compact body to run up the face of the rock wall, grabbing a hand hold as she lost her vertical momentum. She had to vertically jump to reach the ledge, and as she leapt into the air she only made contact with one hand and she used her gauntlets to sink her fingers into the artificial rock.

When she climbed onto of the wall, she surveyed the rest of the course. There was a salmon ladder towards the end of the course, that was going to require her to use her upper body strength to propel herself up. Her next challenge was going to give her agility a run for her money. There were varied bars that looked like re curve bows, she was going to need to use a pendulum type of motion to swing from bar to bar, the biggest problem was that she was short. Some of the gaps between the bars were greater than 5 feet, it would take a bit of luck and timing to get her across safely. She took a running dive towards the first bar and used her momentum to swing her body into a high arc towards the next bar. She continued that pattern of leaping into the air before she made it to the last platform. She faced a 10 foot vertical climb, the platform was slightly curved upwards and she knew that she would need speed to get her up the wall. As she pulled herself up and over the vertical wall, she took a moment to assess the next part of the course, there were 12 poles suspended from the ceiling, they looked like they were about 2 inches in diameter, she had to leap from pole to pole, her height left her at a disadvantage. She had to do the splits between the bars in order to reach them because they varied between 3-5 feet apart. As she got closer to the end of the pole section she felt her foot slip, she canted her leg up and she began sliding, she flipped upside down and hung suspended by one leg. She did the splits between the bars and used her shoes to grip the pole to provide enough spring to toss her to the last pole.

“Did you know she could do that?” Steve asked.

“No, that was new for me to see.” James said, he was incredibly turned out as he watched her leap and fly through the air. It looked like she was dancing through the air, unobstructed by gravity or any physical force. “Doin' great doll.”

“Buck?” Steve asked.

“Yeah?” James said.

“Where are you thinking of going for your relief mission?” Steve asked.

“We are going to Sokovia.” James said, he felt apprehensive even talking to Steve about it.

“I'm glad to hear that, I'm sorry I sounded so controlling, I just wanted you to know that I fully support you. This is a great opportunity for you, and for Mae.” Steve said. He watched as a smile graced Bucky's face. “Whatever you choose, I'll always have your back.”

“Thank you Stevie, and we'll see each other, and maybe one day I'll be ready to go into the field with you again.” James said.

“I'm with you...” Steve began before Bucky shot him a fake annoyed look.

“Until the end of the line.” James finished. He felt more relaxed hearing that Steve fully supported his decision. He clapped Steve on the shoulder and finished watching Mae destroy the obstacle course.

When she dismounted she saw that the salmon ladder was the last obstacle.

She jumped for the bar and began climbing the ladder, her shoulders were sore, but she was determined to push herself through it. When she reached the top she grabbed the rung that was in front of her before she climbed up the rest of the shaft of the lift. When she emerged she watched the faces of her friends, they looked shocked but incredibly proud of her.

“Not too shabby eh?” Mae said. James picked her up and swung her around, while he told her how proud of her he was.

“Doll I had no idea that you were able to do any of those things.” James said.

“When did you learn how to strip?” Darcy asked.

“Strip?” Steve asked clearly confused.

“The move she did on the pole is called a descending angel, it's difficult and usually makes you chafe like a bitch.” Darcy said.

“One of my room mates in college was a stripper she taught me a lot.” Mae said with a light blush.

“What was her final time?” Steve asked.

“Well, looks like she won a ridiculous amount of money.” Tony stated. “You ran that course in 5:34:19, considering you aren't a super soldier and you aren't an agent that blew away the simulations I ran.”

“My girl is a certified bad ass.” James said. He was grinning proudly at her, she had definitely surprised him with just how well she was able to handle it. He really shouldn't be too surprised, she was capable in every other aspect.

“Well I am both exhausted and starving.” Tony said.

“I'll make dinner tonight, I was thinking I'd make Thai tonight.” Darcy stated. “BTW Mae, Hill, Natasha and Clint both send their congratulations.”

“That's very kind of them.” Mae said. “I need a shower, unlike you two I actually sweat.”

“We sweat, but not as easily as you. Luckily we don't stink right now.” Steve said.

“Thank Thor for that!” Darcy said. “I love your absolutely amazing physique, but stinky man is not a pleasant smell.”

“I second that.” Mae added. “Tony remember when you had to figure out a way to keep your suit free from smell? That was a fun experiment.”

“You must have smelled like feet, wrapped in leathery burnt bacon.” Darcy said.

[Robot Chicken](https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=you%20must%20smell%20like%20feet%20wrapped%20in%20leathery%20burnt%20bacon)

“Okay Robot Chicken, go make us food.” Tony said.

“Aye aye Sir!” Darcy said before she went skipping towards the kitchen.

They all made their way towards their various rooms to get cleaned up before dinner, all in all this seemed to be a fantastic day, for all of them.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Veteran's Day to all those that serve, or have served. Your sacrifice does not go unnoticed.
> 
> Thank you for commenting and leaving kudos, seriously you guys rock my socks. I had to expand a little on her background, and I wanted Steve to see how far James had really come. 
> 
> I am so thankful for all of you wonderful readers, thank you for taking the time to read my work! I might update again this weekend, depending on how busy I am. <3 
> 
> Comments and feed back are always pretty swell ;-)


	11. Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Steve finally meet on common ground, Mae and James explore the jungle surrounding them.
> 
> There is a bit of naughtiness at the end of the chapter ;-)

“You brought me out of my shell,  
Put me under your spell.  
Now I'm walking a straight line, to you.  
I'll never surrender,  
You're my pain and pleasure all together.

If it was us against the world, tell me would you stand for all we're worth?”

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4alIJ7sVM4&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&index=40](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4alIJ7sVM4&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&index=40)

 

“Mae?” Steve called.

“Come on in Steve, just finishing getting dressed.” Mae called from her bedroom. She finished toweling her hair off before she walked out into her living room.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in.” Steve said softly.

“You're always welcome, James is just finishing his shower.” Mae said as she gestured to Steve. “What did you need?”

“Buck said you were going to be working in Sokovia.” Steve said.

“That's right, he thinks we can do the most help there, and well we both understand the language pretty well.” Mae said.

“I think that will be great for him to get out and rebuild the world.” Steve said. “When we were growing up Buck always liked fixing things, he had a real way with mechanical problems. We had this stove that half the time didn't work, but by the time we left it was in better shape than when we bought it.”

“I am not surprised, he seems to have acclimated pretty well to all the new technology.” Mae said. “Where are you heading next?”

“Honestly? Probably back to New York, with the Accords being ratified, I need to be there.” Steve said.

“Have they finished the pre-trial work?” Mae asked.

“So far they have about 80% done, Tony, he has some great lawyers that will help Bucky.” Steve said. “I have his walking papers I met with T'Challa already and he had them. Bucky is as free as he can be, the trial won't be something that will be easy to win, but we are confident that it will go in his favor.”

“How much longer until the trial begins?” Mae asked. She toyed with the end of her scarf. _Please God above, protect him, let the world know of his life story, let them see him in the same light that I do. He needs to be absolved of his guilt, he deserves his freedom. Please God, please protect him._ Mae felt a single tear fall from her eyes, she met Steve's eyes and she watched as her eyes closed before she let out a silent sob. He walked over towards her and he wrapped his arms around her.

“It'll be okay, I promise.” Steve said. “I'm glad he has you.”

“He's an amazing man, he deserves his freedom.” Mae said. “What are our options?”

“He's able to travel under the stipulation that he wears a tracker.” Steve said.

“So the remnants of HYDRA can find him again?” Mae asked.

“I brought that same point up, Tony made a tracker that only we have the signal to.” Steve said.

“You'll have to discuss this with him, he makes his own choices.” Mae stated.

“I appreciate it, you making sure that he is able to make his own choices, I may have been less than welcoming when we first met, and I am sorry for that. I can see that you make him happy, that you will stand by him through whatever life brings.” Steve stated.

“Thank you, I really am sorry I knocked you out.” Mae said with a small smile.

“Always were too big for your britches.” James said. He had silently appeared from their bedroom, he looked over towards them before he took a seat next to Mae. His fingers slowly caressed the exposed skin between her shirt and her pants.

“Well, I can't say I didn't have it coming.” Steve said with a smile. “You've got one helluva woman Buck.”

“Don't I know it.” James said. “Thanks for your help Stevie, pretty sure I would be headed to life without parole without your help, and Starks.”

“We wouldn't let that happen.” Steve said.

“I know, still not sure I'm worth all this.” James stated. He felt Mae tense up besides him before she leaned into his touch.

“You're worth it James, you always were and always will be a good man.” Mae stated. She felt her phone buzz and she checked it to see that Darcy had let them know dinner was almost ready. “That's the proverbial dinner bell, shall we?”

Tony was already helping by pulling out the plates and cutlery while Darcy began to lay the food on the table. The smell of garlic bread and the rich hearty lasagna reminded both soldiers of home.

“I thought we were having Thai.” Steve said.

“Well we were but then I remembered that Mae had set aside lasagna, and her lasagna could have ended the accords.” Darcy stated.

“It really is pretty amazing.” Tony said. “What if I'm helping I have the ability to taste test.”

“Thank you both.” Mae said with a soft smile. It almost felt like a family, a very shattered and glued back together type of family but it felt more real. “Shall we?”

They all bowed their heads as they prayed, Mae felt James' hand hold hers gently, his thumb traced small patterns across her wrist as they finished praying.

“Alright serve yourself.” Darcy said before she leaned over to press a kiss to Steve's cheek.

“So Mae, when were you going to let us know that you're as agile as Roman off?” Tony asked. “I wonder how combat ready you are.”

“I'm proficient Tony, it isn't my fault that you've never noticed that I was training while working.” Mae said with a smile.

“So when do I need to have your stuff ready for your voyage?” Tony asked. He looked pointedly at Mae and Bucky.

“I think we'll be able to leave in a week or so.” Mae said, she waited for James to nod as well.

“Would Wanda want to help?” James asked.

“Wait, when did you and our witchy friend get to know each other?” Tony asked.

“I knew she was from Sokovia, I did occasionally watch the news while I was on the run.” James said. “I wasn't sure if she'd want to help or not.”

“I already e-mailed her, she thought she could help here and there. I know she misses her home.” Mae said softly. Mae had gotten to know the young woman who had lost so much, she still blamed herself for the deaths of the civilians in Sokovia, and the loss of her brother.

“I secured a building for you to use as your base or HQ.” Tony said. “It'll run off an arc reactor, granted it is part of the hospital I thought that would be beneficial to both of you.”

“Thank you Tony.” Mae said. “Darcy this was lovely thank you very much.”

“I have mastered heating things up!” Darcy said with exuberance. “The wine is great, Tony was this one of yours?”

“No, this was one of the ones that Mae had.” Tony stated. “You have a great selection of wine and spirits at the tower still.”

“I know, I left the wine for Darcy and Pepper. The spirits well they were really for cooking and drinking.” Mae said.

“Alright we have dishes to do.” Steve said.

“Always the task master.” Darcy stated. “But I love that about you.”

“I love you too sweetheart.” Steve said as he kissed the crown of her head.

“Ew, you guys are spreading feelings.” Tony said as he made a shooing motion.

“Love you too Tony.” Darcy said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Tony said with a fake smirk.

“James?” Mae asked. “Did you want to look over the tentative design plans?”

“For the sustainable housing?” James asked.

“Yep, I figured you would give some insight, Steve has said you were mechanically inclined.” Mae said.

“If you consider taking apart a stove and few cars sure.” James said with a smile. “I'm not an architect or anything.”

“You can be whatever you want to be, and if you want to be an architect we can get your enrolled in classes.” Mae said.

“Doll, hate to break it to you but algebra and geometry, those were classes I took nearly 85 years ago.” James said with a wry grin.

“No time like the present.” Tony said. He began tapping away at his StarkPad, he pulled up some basic ACT and SAT math questions and passed it over towards James. “See if you can solve these.”

James sat at the table and began working on the tablet, his eye brows furrowed slightly as he solved problem after problem. He was amazed at how much he really understood, he began whizzing through the tests and he completed them fairly quickly. He watched as Mae took a sip of her tea, she smiled at him.

“I didn't think I'd know any of this.” James stated.

“Well with your work as a sniper you'd have to know quite a bit of algebra, geometry and trigonometry.” Mae stated.

“Buck you were always good at science and math.” Steve said.

“Suppose you're right.” James said. _Didn't think I'd know most of this stuff, seems over my head, but it's not._ ** _You don't remember the classes we had to take?_** _Some, not all of them. I remember them downloading the varied languages._ ** _You had a strong knowledge of mathematics before they found you, they enhanced you, but didn't change too much in regards to your knowledge._** _Of course not, they wouldn't want a stupid assassin just a brainwashed one._ ** _Order through Pain._** _Yeah, something like that._ “Don't worry Stark, I won't be trying to best you in a battle of mathematical genius.”

“Thank God for that.” Tony said as he smiled and wiped his brow. “You could take some architecture classes if that is what interests you.”

“It is interesting, but I couldn't afford college before, and seeing as I'm not working don't know how I'll afford it now.” James stated.

“Considering you're a P.O.W. You have accrued quite a nest egg, provided the government actually makes good on their promise, you really wouldn't have to work the rest of your life.” Steve said.

“Sure, I can see them writin' me a huge check.” James said sarcastically.

“Buck, they paid me all of my back pay.” Steve said.

“Yeah, and you weren't killing people for the odd 70 years between your death and rebirth.” James said.

“You weren't in control of yourself.” Steve said.

“Still, I doubt they'll actually pay me back.” James said. “Don't know if I actually deserve it anyways.”

“James, wait.” Mae said softly. “Please.”

“I'm going to go for a run.” James said before he stood up, he ignored the pleading look Mae gave him as he walked out.

“It isn't your fault Mae.” Steve said. “He's just aggravated that he isn't in control of what will happen to him.”

“Thank you, I'll catch up with you later, excuse me.” Mae said with a soft smile.

“He feels guilt for everything he was forced to do.” Tony said. “I found more evidence that he fought his conditioning.”

“Where?” Steve asked.

“Actually from the base Zemo tried destroying us in.” Tony said. “There were all sorts of documentations regarding the Winter Soldier, video evidence that he struggled and would slowly remember his past. They had a time table to work with, he wasn't allowed more than a week at the longest between memory wipes, or he'd begin remembering his past life. When he began remembering he tried to leave multiple times, but he wasn't sure where he could go. He knew you were dead Steve, he went back to Brooklyn at some point and he tried to find your old apartment. It was a test, they did some pretty horrific things to him after that.”

“Tony why didn't you tell me you found more evidence?” Steve asked.

“Because I know you'd take it upon yourself to bring it to light through either the media or some other way.” Tony said. “I gave it to my lawyers, they are confident that it shows his show of character. The judge will see it too.”

“Thank you Tony.” Steve said calmly. He watched as Darcy and Mae stood off to the side talking. He knew they were pretty close, and spoke often. He watched as Mae left the living area and headed down towards her laboratory. “Will she be okay?”

“She's made of pretty stern stuff Rogers, she won't break.” Tony said.

“Did you ever meet her husband?” Steve asked.

“Once or twice when she first began interviewing to work as my Chief Medical Officer.” Tony said. “He was a good guy, loyal, smart, friendly. All around good guy.”

“I can't say I ever met him when I worked for Shield.” Steve said.

“They had known each other through school, I think.” Tony said. “She doesn't talk about him, like ever.”

“Do you really blame her?” Darcy asked.

“No, I suppose it doesn't surprise me.” Tony said. “She was nearly catatonic after it happened.”

“How bad was she?” Steve asked.

“She stopped eating, she barely slept, all she did was concentrate on work.” Tony said.

“Her heart was shattered, when everything went down the Accords, I thought she was going to snap and kill me at one point.” Tony said. “She hated seeing everyone at each others throats, she resigned a few times, and I refused to let her go. She was furious at both of us.”

“I think I remember her wanting to deck me.” Steve said. “I mean when she got to Wakanda she did take a few swings at me come to think of it.”

*****Flashback*****

“ _Tony you can't be seriously considering their proposal! They will cage everyone that refuses to sign or they'll greatly infringe on their basic human rights!” Mae yelled._

“ _What do you think I should do huh?” Tony argued back._

“ _Did you think that forcing Rogers to face you and the government on this issue was the best idea? I mean seriously Tony, he's been in a tough spot and you're, you're being very brash.”_

“ _I'm brash? Do you know how many nations signed? 117. If he wouldn't have gone crazy because his boyfriend magically showed up this would have worked for all of us.” Tony stated._

“ _Tony I understand that you feel like Sokovia was your fault, it wasn't solely to blame on you.” Mae said._

“ _Really did you build a murder bot?” Tony asked._

“ _No I didn't. The idea that became Ultron was born of your ability to want to protect the things you can't live without. You didn't build him on a whim to create something that would cause mass extinction and hey you saved the day again.” Mae said._

“ _And now? Steve's gone, most of the team is still locked up in the Raft.” Tony said._

“ _Make it right, you want your team back?” Mae asked._

“ _Yeah I do, we were the land of misfit toys, but we were a team.” Tony said. “I know what you're going to say, that Barnes is the key, but think about it Mae, he executed so many people my parents. My fucking parents, yeah Howard was a grade A douche-canoe, but he was still my father.”_

“ _James Barnes was brainwashed, tortured and abused.” Mae said softly._

“ _How can you of all people believe that?! I mean seriously Mae he executed your husband! How can you be so calm about all of this? You won't even talk about him, do you even remember what he looked like?!” Tony yelled. He watched as Mae calmly stood and moved away from her computer, her eyes were filled with ice cold fury._

“ _Tony I respect and understand your pain, your rage, but if you bring up Jason again in my presence I will fucking end you.” Mae said. “What Sergeant Barnes was put through defies what we can even consider outside of him being tortured longer than we've been alive. I don't place any blame on him, it may have been him physically, but mentally, emotionally that wasn't the same Sergeant Barnes that fell to his death from that train in Austria.”_

“ _God Mae, I won't bring him up again, but this bullshit with Barnes. Steve chose him over the Avengers, he chose him over everything.” Tony stated._

“ _Well they grew up together, fought a war together, Tony what did you think? That Rogers would just let him swing for actions he didn't commit?” Mae asked. “He didn't throw you away, he didn't throw the Avengers away, he wasn't willing to compromise on something as severe as the Accords. I can't say I blame him, they're going to want to register everyone and anyone that has any form of inhuman, or preternatural abilities.”_

“ _There should be an index, we should know what they are capable of.” Tony said._

“ _They, what they are you referring to? You want Banner rounded up and tagged like some errant creature? You think that they won't force kids that have any form of a mutation to register? What about trackers and tattoos labeling them as different? You don't think that'll happen? You don't think they'll begin segregation of those who are human, inhuman, preternatural, homo-superior?” Mae asked._

“ _We wouldn't want them to wear trackers unless they convicted of committing a crime, and segregation that will never happen.” Tony said. “You know Banner is my Science! Bro I wouldn't want him caged either. You can't believe that the Accords are headed in that direction.”_

“ _Well Tony I do, history has a tendency to repeat itself when we haven't learned and appreciated our history. Many asked the people that lived in World War II about how they just gave in to Hitler and his absolute control, when they were asked why they would segregate the Jewish population, the Romanii from the rest of the Germans they said that the changes were gradual, that it was encouraged to go along with what the government was doing because it was to protect their heritage and themselves.” Mae said. “Their government indoctrinated their people to hate what was different, they preached intolerance and hatred. How is this any different?”_

“ _It is to protect the greater good.” Tony said. “We are here, the Avengers are here to protect the greater good. We were created to protect humanity.”_

“ _While infringing on the people that are considered less than human.” Mae said. “I can't support you in this, I can't willingly go along with what your vision is Tony. You'll have my resignation in an hour.”_

“ _Mae, is it your sick fascination with Barnes that makes you feel this way?” Tony asked. He watched as her eyes widened, he heard her sharply inhale before he continued. “He executes your husband, and you're researching ways to what, save him? What is wrong with you? You think he even remembers? He doesn't he doesn't remember shit! My parents, all his other hits as the Fist of Hydra, meaningless to him. He's a fucking machine! What do you do when a machine malfunctions? You scrap it and start over.”_

“ _Tony, I can't stay here and listen to you say these things. If I stay here any longer I can't be held responsible for my actions.” Mae said. “You need to seriously consider needing some therapy, I am so sorry you lost your parents, I can't imagine what the feels like, but do not take your pain and let it twist. You're your own worst enemy and I can't watch you self destruct like this again.”_

_*****End Flashback*****_

“She was furious at me, she wouldn't take my calls or anything.” Tony said. “I think she headed towards Wakanda shortly after that.”

“She did, she showed up and handed me my ass. I don't think I've had a lashing like that since I was a kid. She dressed me down and then proceeded to ask me what my plan was.” Steve said.

“Well she got you to break into the Raft.” Tony said.

“Technically she gave me some help, but she didn't get me to break into it.” Steve said solemnly. “I'm sorry Tony, I am sorry I abandoned you.”

“Thanks Steve, I'm sorry too.” Tony said. “I know he's like a brother to you.”

“He is, and with your help he's healing so thank you. It means more than I can explain.” Steve said.

“Mean enough that when you marry short and stacked you'll let me plan your bachelor party?” Tony asked.

“You and Bucky can plan it. Strippers are fine, Darcy already said that you would want them.” Steve said with a sigh. He watched Tony light up with glee. “But I think we're still a ways a way from marriage.”

“So no insider information?” Tony asked. He eye'd Darcy lightly and smiled at her, he could see how her carefree personality complimented Steve's more rigid personality.

“Tony, remember when you asked me a few weeks ago?” Darcy asked.

“Yes and you said I had to quit bothering you because you're happy with the pace you're moving.” Tony said. “And I am not asking you, I'm asking your patriotic other half.”

“This is true, just remember boundaries.” Darcy said.

“Darce I'm going to see if I can catch up with Bucky, just to make sure he's okay.” Steve said.

“I'd give him some space, and Mae already took off looking for him.” Darcy said.

“Oh, good to know.” Steve said. “Well Tony, want to teach me how to tune up the motorcycle you have in the garage?”

“Ah, that was a surprise.” Tony said.

“Yeah we saw it earlier today.”Steve said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do I need to Lysol it?” Tony asked.

“Nah, we already did that.” Darcy said with a wink. “You boys have fun, I have some work to finish.”

* * *

 

Mae speed through the thick jungle foliage as she tracked James, he was very light on his feet, and it would have been hard to track him if the path had more than one branch. She arrived outside of the caverns, they opened up into a large natural spring that had an idyllic underground waterfall. She slipped off her bike and she sent out a text so Steve and Tony so theywouldn't worry. She left her phone in the lock box attached to the frame. She began her trek into the caverns, she could hear the roar of the waterfall, but she saw no sign of James. She stood at the top of the waterfall, there were solar lights that dotted the walls of the cave, it left the cavern bathed in a faint blue light.

“You followed me.” James said. He stepped out into the light and looked over at Mae. Her eyes were bright and he could see tears in them.

“I did.” Mae said. “I was worried.”

“You don' have to worry 'bout me.” James said he took a few steps towards her and pulled her into his arms. “'m sorry Mae, didn't mean to make you worry.”

“It's okay you've been through a lot.” Mae said as she clung to him.

“The trial, everything else you don't deserve to be put through that.” James said.

“And you do?” Mae said, her voice muffled against his broad chest.

“I deserve to answer for my crimes.” James said. “I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I wasn't put on trial. The people I hurt, their loved ones deserve retribution.”

“And what do you deserve? When will you clear your own slate and live for yourself James? Don't let them continue to hold you in their grasp.” Mae said.

“I don't know.” James said. He could feel the Soldier coming to the surface. **_She will never see you as a monster, she won't see me as a monster either._** _We will never deserve her._ ** _No we won't, but don't push her away you need her._** _And you don't?_ ** _She's different, she feels real._** _She's as real as they come._ ** _Then stop pushing her away, we both need her for different reason._** _If she falls for us we'll destroy her and she doesn't deserve that, she deserves to be happy with someone else._ ** _Who would you chose to protect her? She doesn't live in the civilian world, she may be capable, but she isn't like us. Steve he'd try and protect her, Tony? He'd try too, but they aren't us._** _No they aren't. They couldn't protect her like we can._ ** _Then stop second guessing her._** James felt slightly off, he may have been thrown through time, but even he knew that talking to himself wasn't normal. He tilted her chin up until her eyes met his, he stroked her cheek gently before he pressed his lips against her forehead. “я буду защищать вас.” {I will protect you.}

“I never doubted that you would.” Mae said. She ran her fingers through his hair tugging lightly as she ran her fingers nails against his scalp. His eyes were bright blue, a depth that the deepest waters couldn't compare to.

“Он беспокоится, что мы будем тянуть вас вниз с нами.” James said. {He worries that we will pull you down with us}

“And do you worry about the same thing?” Mae asked.

“Я не хотел бы, чтобы вы идете, вы принадлежите со мной.” James said. {I would not want you to go, you belong with me}

“J'ai besoin de vous tous les deux dans ma vie vous êtes tous deux importants pour moi. Nous sommes ensemble.” Mae said. {I need both of you in my life, you are both important to me. We belong together}

“I didn't know you spoke French.” James said with a smile.

“Oui, je parle quelques langues différentes.” Mae said. {Yes I speak a few different languages}

“Learn something new every day.” James said.

He still had the glint in his eyes that she associated with the Solider, but they were back lit with a tenderness she associated with both of them. He didn't crowd her, but he pressed himself against her body, he wanted to claim every inch of her. Her hair hung loose and he reached out to push a strand behind her ear, he leaned down and kissed her. His lips caressed hers, their hands tangled in each others hair as their kiss deepened. He could taste the faint blend of coffee she drank, her lips tasted like vanilla, soft and pliant against his. Her hair fell like silk through his fingertips, her blunt nails scraped along his scalp, it made him shiver against her.

“Я никогда не устаю от твоих поцелуев.” James said. {I will never get tired of your kisses}

“And I'll never stop kissing you.” Mae said. “How adventurous are you?”

Mae watched as James stood in front of her,a slight quirk of his lips answered her. She began pulling off her tank top and bra before she slipped out of her pants. She nodded to him before she took a running leap into the air, she flew over the edge of the waterfall with her arms spread out as if she was welcoming the rush of the air as she plummeted towards the pool. She entered the water seamlessly and she kicked towards the surface before she looked up towards where James was staring at her awe struck.

“Going to join me? Water's warm.” Mae shouted. She watched as James added his clothes to her pile before he was left in a pair of boxer shorts. “Come on down solider, there's definitely room enough for you.”

As he dove down Mae began making her way towards the rocks at the base of the waterfall. She leaned against them and took in the beauty of the cavern, the lights sparkled off the natural ore in the walls. She realized that she had heard James splash into the water but she didn't see him. She felt two hands grab at her thighs, pushing them apart until he wedged himself between her legs. His hair was a mess, dripping the clear water across his handsome face. She wrapped her legs around his hips and he lifted her towards the edge of the boulder, pressing soft kisses against her neck. His teeth added that edge to his kisses that set her on fire.

“James.” Mae moaned out. His flesh hand kneaded at her breast, tweaking the nipple between his thumb and index finger. She used her legs to pull him closer to her and she could feel the essence of his arousal pressed firmly against her core. His mechanical hand slowly traced circular patterns on her hips as he ground himself against her. She unlocked her legs and began pulling her panties off she dropped them on the boulder before she pulled his boxers down as well.

“Я не знаю, будет ли это нежный.” James groaned out above her. {I don't know whether it will be gentle} He reached down with his flesh hand and slowly traced her a path across her breasts until he reached the apex of her thighs, he ran his knuckles across the front of her, he felt how slick she was. He dragged the tips of his knuckles through her wetness, tracing up and down, he watched as her head was thrown back before he slipped two fingers into her. He pushed her back gently until she lay flat on the boulder before he leaned down and his lips wrapped firmly around her clit, he sucked her into his mouth and his tongue flicked quick and fast across her. She began a litany of words that melded together, his fingers began a slow pace before he gradually sped up. She squirmed under him and he used his mechanical arm to pin her flat, his tongue ravaged her dripping pussy, he could feel her tensing and quaking around him as she came. “Я люблю смотреть, как ты развалится.” {I love to watch you fall apart}

“James.” Mae gasped as she came back to reality. She sat up and pulled him down for a kiss, she could taste herself on his lips, she melted into his kiss. She melted into him, she could feel him brush against her core, the tip of his well endowed cock stroked against her. “I need you.”

“Ты уверен?” James asked. {Are you sure?}

“J'ai besoin de vous.” Mae said. She felt him line himself up with her aching core, he met her eyes as he began pushing himself into her. {I need you}

James watched as Mae arched her back, **_she's so wet, so tight._** He had one hand on her hip as he slowly pulled out before sliding back home, he pushed into her until he bottomed out. He watched her facial expressions, when he pushed himself deeper into her she moaned with abandon. **_Harder, give it to her harder, bruise her, mark her. Make her ours._** With a quick snap of his hips he sought a brutal pace, he watched as her breasts bounced with every thrust, he leaned down to sink his teeth into the swell of her breast. Her body jerked under him, his lips and tongue soothed the ache of his teeth, he felt her clench around him, a precursor to her letting go and coming for him. _Feels like reality shifted, feelin' her writhe under us, fuck._ ** _Tight, so fucking tight, but soaking wet, take it_ _кукла,_ _take all of me. {doll}_**

“пожалуйста, не остановить.” Mae said. {Please do not stop} Her hands reached out to pull him down closer to her, his forearms bracketed her head. She reached down to grasp his hip in one hand, while she gripped his hair with the other. He filled her further than anyone ever had, like he was reaching for her very soul, she could feel his pace quicken as he chased his own release. Her body coiled tighter and tighter before she gasped.

“почти там дорогая.” James grunted out. He felt her walls flutter and clench tightly around him, he kissed her roughly, his lips were as demanding as the pace he set. He sucked her lower lip into his mouth before his tongue darted out to taste her. He saw the bite mark he left on her, a quickening of his pace began driving him mad. {Almost there darling}

“James please, harder!” Mae cried out. Her finger nails dug into his hip and shoulder as her body began quaking, it felt like a rubber band snapped, time slowed. She watched as his eyes closed as his hips stuttered and his thrusts became erratic. “Come for me James.”

James felt her walls tighten before he felt her milk him for all he was worth. He shuddered before he met her gaze, her cheeks were rosy and her lips were spread into a lazy smile. He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to her lips before he pulled out of her. He opened his mouth to speak, to tell her how amazing she was, how she made his mind quiet, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He stroked his fingers across her collarbone and down her arms until he sat her up and pulled her into his arms, he cradled her against him while he pressed his lips to her temple.

“Thank you.” James said quietly.

“I should be thanking you. I don't think I could walk if I had to.” Mae said with a smile. She listened to his heart beat, a solid thump, it was comforting.

“You're something else doll, you're something else.” James said with a smile.

They sat curled up on the boulder holding each other while surrounded by their own euphoric bliss.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, commenting and kudoing me. I appreciate it greatly, any mistakes are my own, and no I own nothing but my own ideas and Mae. 
> 
> Is the plot still moving enough? They'll be splitting up pretty soon to explore their options, the Accords are still looming over their heads. 
> 
> Thank you again you all are amazing. BTW anyone super awesome at navigating Tumblr? I want to post my work there but I couldn't edit it the way I wanted to with a word count, and editing the photos that I want to show as well. Let me know!! Don't forget you can always e-mail me, or find me on tumblr!
> 
> <3


	12. Give Me the Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group bonds together and decides what they are going to do about the trial that James will have to be a part of, Mae also begins to do further research regarding what James went through while he was interned with Hydra.

“Give me the burden, give me the blame,  
I’ll shoulder the load, and I’ll swallow the shame.  
Give me the burden, give me the blame,  
How many, how many Hail Marys is it gonna take?   
Don’t care if he’s guilty, don’t care if he’s not,  
He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I’ve got.  
Oh Lord, Oh Lord, I’m begging you please,  
Don’t take that sinner from me.”

-The Civil Wars-Devil's Backbone

 

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCluFIE_EJI&index=37&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCluFIE_EJI&index=37&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV)

“Do you think we should head back soon?” Mae asked. She felt James shift slightly, his strong arms were wrapped tightly around her torso, his lips created a path across her neck and shoulders. 

“Rather just stay with you, here.” James said. “When are we going to leave?”

“For Sokovia?” Mae asked. She sighed and kissed her arms, she turned his hand to curve upwards so she could press kisses across his metallic wrist. “I think we can leave in a few days, I'm still working with Tony, trying to see exactly what we're walking into. The political climate there can still be difficult to navigate, and I'll be working mostly in the hospital.” 

“I want to go back to school, I want to be more than the guy behind a scope.” James said. “We both do. I know it isn't healthy, me talkin' to myself.”

“I think you're working through a lot, and he will always be a part of you.” Mae said. 

“Doesn't make me seem less crazy.” James said. “Steve mentioned therapy, said I have post tramautic stress. They used to call it shell shock.”

“You aren't crazy, and you haven't lost touch with reality.” Mae said. “I think therapy would help, you're carrying a life time of memories that you will have to sift through eventually.”

“And if I don't want to?” James asked. He felt her relax against him, he pressed his lips against the slender column of her throat. 

“That is your choice, you are allowed to choose your own path.” Mae said. She wrapped her arms behind her head to cradle him against her back. “And I will be there with you, every step of the way.”

“Couldn't do it withou' you _кукла,_ don't think I could do any of it withou' you.” James said. {doll}

“Well I suppose we're both lucky, we'll be here for each other.” Mae said softly. 

She turned in his arms before she leaned in and pressed a warm kiss to his lips. Words weren't needed in that moment, the way they looked at each other was enough. Enough of a reassurance, enough faith in the other that this too shall pass. He pulled her against him until she was sitting across his lap, he cradled her like she was made of spun glass, he nestled her head against the crook of his neck. 

“Я рад, что мы имеем вас.” James said softly. {I am glad we have you.}

“You do, you have all of me.” Mae said. “While you're quite toasty warm, I am beginning to feel a slight chill, shall we rescue our clothing?”

“But I'm enjoyin' the view.” James said with a laugh. His blue eyes were illuminated with such a bright light, he smiled down at her before he swiftly stood up. He saw the steps leading to the top of the waterfall, he arched an eye brow at her before he climbed the steps. “So that bike seat two?”

“It might.” Mae said as she pulled her clothes on, she wrung her hair out before she braided it tightly against her scalp. “You're riding bitch, that bike is mine.”

“Wonder if you could get back to the compound before me.” James asked. 

“You're competitive aren't you?” Mae said with a smile. 

“Very.” James said with a smirk. He ran his hand through his hair, he tried smoothing it down as best as he could. “Fancy a wager?”

“I could be.” Mae said as she finished her hair. “Personally I think you don't want to ride passenger.”

“I bet that I make it back to our room before you do.” James said. “I trust you can handle it, but that seat is narrow, and not really meant for two.”

“I don't know James, I suppose that might be true.” Mae said. “I accept your challenge.”

“Alright, where's your helmet?” James asked as he made his way towards her.

“Didn't wear one, yes I know not so safe.” Mae said with a smirk. “Alright so what do I win from you, you know when I win.”

“Don't get so cocky.” James said with a smile. _More than we deserve,_ _ **maybe she's exactly what we deserve.**_

* * *

“You cheated!” Mae exclaimed.

“How's that cheatin'?” James asked as he slung his arm over her shoulders. 

“You scaled the building, you didn't run along the path.” Mae stated.

“See that's the thing with you intellectuals, you forget that life isn't about following a preconcieved path, it's about carving your own.” James said. He watched as her eyes light up with humor, before she pulled him down to trace his eye brows and cheeks. She kissed the side of his mouth, holding onto his shoulders. 

“You'll have to show me just what path you plan on taking, I look forward to exploring with you.” Mae said.

“I look forward to it doll.” James said. He wrapped her tightly against his broad frame, cradling her, this was his salvation. 

“So he cheated right?” Darcy asked.

“Pretty much, damn super soldiers.” Mae said. 

“Wasn't cheating, she didn't say I had to stick to the path.” James clarified.

“So, what did you lose Mae?” Steve asked. He watched as she flushed slightly before she smiled softly.

“That's for us to know.” James stated. “When are you heading back to New York?”

“Probably the same time you leave for Sokovia.” Steve replied.

“Decided that I wanna go back to school, maybe work at getting my degree in architecture.” James said. “I'll work on helping rebuild, some of this sustainable energy and housing, what we woulda done to have this stuff back in the day.”

“Always did have a mind for numbers.” Steve said. “He tried to hide it, but he was always a daft hand with anything that revolved around numbers or an equation.”

“Well I'm sure your efforts to rebuild will be an added feather in your cap.” Mae said with a smile. “I am going to go shower, I have to make sure everything will be ready for us at the end of the week.” 

“Be in there soon doll, don't use all the hot water.” James teased.

* * *

 

After the shower Mae sat at her work station and began cataloging the supplies that she would need while she worked in Sokovia. She also researched therapists that would be available to conduct their sessions through video chat. She noticed that Tony had set up funding for James to go to school, the problem was, that until James was free and clear he wouldn't be able to use his own credentials until his name was cleared. She knew that the upcoming trial was going to require patience, documentation of what was done to James while he was the Winter Solider, a really proficient team of lawyers, and possibly Santa's sleigh and a team full of helpers. Tony could help with the lawyers, Mae knew he had a team of lawyers on retainer, normally reserved for the Avengers and any red tape or snafu's they incurred while working across international boarders. 

Step 1: Hire a team of lawyers to help get James Barnes effectively raised from the dead

Step 2: Use the data from the Shield dump to reinforce how he was used to further Hydra's New World Order.

Step 3: Therapy for James

Step 4: Relocate to Sokovia and help with the rebuilding

So far, she had accomplished putting together briefing packets showing when he was found by Russian soldiers after he fell, and when his interment with Hydra began and ended. There were so many files to sift through, she created three categories : proven, undetermined, and blatently false, with the data being dumped onto the internet many of the supposed missions the Winter Solider took part in were available for anyone to read. There were many countries that were trying to pin political assassinations, civil unrest, and suspicious deaths on the Winter Solider. Many if not most of those claims were false, they were things that the various countries wanted to air out, but not take the blame for. Most of them claimed that it was the Winter Solider that killed off political figures in their developing countries, and they were carried out by guerrilla cells within their own country. Mae began putting those into a file labeled as “Real as Pamela Anderson's Boobs”. T'Challa had been keeping in contact with her, using his own wide net of contacts to help her get a better bearing of the atrocities that Hydra used on James to turn him into the Winter Solider. She tried to remain objective as she read the files, the things they did to him, how he regained any sense of humanity was astounding. Many of the notes that told the most about what was done to him, were side notes in varied journals that the doctors created while working on James. 

 

_ Subject arrived with the lower left half of his arm separated from his body between the humerus, and the humerus coracoid fossa. Begin administering vibranium grafts to support bionic arm, plates added to the scapula, humeral head, clavicle and manubrium. Vibranium mesh overlay inserted under the dermis around the rib cage to protect organs. Anchor points added along the subjects spinal column to help with the weight of the prosthetic, anchor point added to the scapula, manubrium and clavicle. Removal of the humerus necessary to implement full prosthetic, subject remains aware throughout surgery, recites his serial number, rank and name. Adamantium bones created to strengthen enhanced arm. Subject retains his personality even after electroshock therapy, Dr. Fenhoff brought in to consult with Dr. Zola regarding his transformation. Multiple doses of augmentation serum applied to variable muscle groups, use of psychotropic chemicals administered to break down the subjects will and personality. Adamantium bones removed, new prosthetic developed. Subject screamed until hoarse as the doctors and technicians removed the remaining artificial bones from the subjects arm, bets exchanged on how long his mind will last. Subject appears to be catatonic, when asked simple questions the subject refuses to answer even under the guise of pain and varied levels of psychotropic drugs, retains base personality. Dr. Fenhoff adds to the layers of his original personality until the subject disassociates his past from reality. Winter Solider personality is the subjects only active personality, if not wiped properly original personality surfaces. Any mentions of Steve Rogers, and the Asset becomes agitated and violent, recommended: wipes, and cryogenic storage, subject is not to remain unattended without a handler, operational effectiveness up to 120 hours, if needed longer Asset is to be wiped of short term memory and will remain effective for another 120 hours. For longer use, reconditioning is recommended or risk the Asset retaining his memory. _

 

Mae closed her eyes and sent up a silent prayer, the cruelty that James was subjected to astonished her, she knew that the process to make him into the Winter Solider was both cruel and innovative. The had to use psychotropic drugs, physical torture, and extreme mental strain to cull and break James of his personality and even then he began to remember who he was before they found him dying in the Alps. She added the testimonies of the various doctors and technicians that worked on him to the proven file. She checked her phone when it buzzed and realized that she had been working for a few hours, Darcy asked if she was joining them for dinner. 

 

_ -Be there soon, was working on documentation of James' internment.-Mae _

_ -roger that, grisly stuff?-Darcy _

_ -Enough to give me nightmares, might need your help with getting organized for Sokovia- Mae _

_ -Can do, hurry if you can, there's a stew of testosterone brewing in the kitchen.-Darcy _

_ -Spray them with the squirt bottle.-Mae _

_ -They are men not naughty cats.-Darcy _

_ -Trust me it will work on all of them.-Mae _

_ -Get it on video if you can.-Mae _

_ -SOS! SOS! Cap is teaming up against me!-Darcy _

Mae laughed before she made her way to the communal kitchen, she saw Darcy running around while Steve chased her. James was sitting at the counter amused by their theatrics, he was quietly watching their antics while he sipped on a cup of coffee. Tony appeared to be recording the ridiculous game of cat and mouse.

“Please tell me you recorded that.” Mae said.

“All of it, wouldn't it make a nice Christmas card?” Tony asked. “Sent it to your email. Also Pepper sends her regards, she's already allocating a branch of SI legal to work on his case. Pepper will be emailing you today regarding what they've found.”

“Tony, the things they did to him, inhuman doesn't cover it.” Mae said. 

“Yeah I know, I read the same files you did. Poor bastard didn't stand a chance, the chemicals they used to subdue him, he wouldn't have know which way was up and which way was down.” Tony stated. “I'll make sure that he has the best defense, he doesn't deserve any less.”

“Thank you Tony, how are things with Pepper?” Mae asked.

“Well, she hasn't threatened to kill me lately so I'll go with better.” Tony stated. “Won't be getting back together, but we still care for each other.”

“I'm glad you're both repairing your relationship.” Mae said softly. She watched as James let out a full bellied laugh when Darcy was pinned down and sprayed relentlessly. “I sent you an email regarding Sokovia, did you get it?”

“I did haven't really looked through it fully, you'll have whatever you need.” Tony said. “Would you mind me visiting?”

“You're always welcome Tony.” Mae said.

“Yeah, I never expected to hear from you after our fight.” Tony said.

“You were hurting badly, I know you felt like you were responsible for so much, but really you weren't. You're Iron Man, but under that you're an incredibly compassionate and caring individual, you may say that you don't do well with feelings, but I think you've made drastic changes in your life.” Mae said calmly. She hugged Tony tightly before she finished speaking. “You Anthony Edward Stark, are a good man and you should see yourself the way I do. You are far more than a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. You're a good man that is instrumental in the recovery of hope, don't forget that.”

“He's a lucky guy, hope he knows that.” Tony said. He pulled away before he clapped a hand on her shoulder. “If you need anything, just ask, I still owe you for fixing Rhodey.”

“I don't need thanks for that, what I need is for you to get a normal amount of sleep.” Mae said. “A tired genius is a dangerous one, remember when you blew up the lab?”

“Which time?” Darcy asked with a roll of her eyes.

“The time when he lost his eye brows.” Mae said with a smile.

“And the circle of trust is broken.” Tony stated.

“Yeah and how many times have you ratted me out?” Darcy asked.

“On accident a few times, so I suppose that is fair.” Tony said. “So, I have heard from my army of lawyers and they think they have a very strong case to help you become a real human again and not a zombie.”

“That's great to hear.” Steve exclaimed. “What are we going to need to do to help?”

“We'll need eye witness accounts from you, Natashalie, the Bird Boys would help, pretty much everyone that was involved with either taking down Shield to expose Hydra, and everyone else that was involved with the fun that was our personal Civil War.” Tony stated.

“Outside of that, Barnes you're going to be in the spot light when you hit Sokovia, are you prepared for that?” Darcy asked.

“I guess I'll have to be.” James said. “Are you asking me to host a press conference?”

“Wouldn't be a bad idea, the more you're seen being normal the better.” Tony stated. He watched as Steve wore his nearly patented, “Captain America is Disappointed in You” face, Mae smirked a little at Tony's very unconventional approach.

“What Tony means, is that you need to choose your venue and basically come out from the black and explain what happened to you. You can control the environment that you'll be in, and we can help you with selected questions. The reporters there know to either follow what we've outlined in the dockets or they are black listed so you don't have to worry about them asking tactless questions.” Darcy said. “I head up the PR department what did you expect, we have your back like an ass crack.”

With that the building tension faded quickly and dissolved into a few chuckles. Mae had gravitated towards James, he wrapped his arm around her holding her lightly against him as a show of physical support. 

“'ppreciate that Darcy, sounds like you're all ready to stand with me.” James said. “I am ready to come clean 'bout my past, seems like I might as well.”

“We will always back you, we'll be able to clear your good name Buck.” Steve said. 

“Sorry still expecting baby bald eagles to suddenly burst out from a cannon singing your praises or something. This is 'Murica!” Darcy said with a smile, Steve shook his head a little before he smirked at her.

“You forgot to add the red, white and blue glitter confetti cannons.” Steve snarked.

“Anyone that thinks this man isn't the biggest troll ever clearly doesn't know him.” Darcy said.

“Sweetheart, you have no idea.” James said with a smile.

“Alright team now that we have a handle on that, there are a few other things we need to take care of.” Tony said.

“Already have a few possible therapists that are already vetted and understand who they'd be working with, it's all about who works for you James.” Mae said. “I have everything loaded on my tablet, you can check them out and decide from there. They are all more than willing to work with you through virtual appointments.”

“You ever think these two dames could take over the world?” James asked Steve and Tony.

“Yep, it's both a turn on and a terror. Add Pepper into that mix, and Maria Hill and they would probably solve world peace, world hunger and warfare.” Tony stated.

“We'd rule with a well manicured fist.” Darcy stated.

“She's right, we really would.” Mae said with a smile.

“Wouldn't that make him your knight in shining armor?” Tony quipped.

“I suppose it would, but wouldn't you be a better knight? I mean you have a literal suit of shining armor.” Darcy asked.

“Touché.” Tony said. “Alright well I have a few more things to work out, logistics and such. Someone ping me when food is ready.”

“Will do. I need to check in with the PR department and get them on this.” Darcy said. “Dinner will be done in an hour, just so you know.”

 

“Buck mind if we take a quick walk?” Steve asked.

 

“Sure we can do that there's a few things I think we need to discuss.” James replied. “See you soon doll, save me a seat?”

 

“Naturally, have fun you two.” Mae said. James leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against her temple before he followed Steve.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading, commenting, and kudoing. I do appreciate every comment and I'm sorry if it takes me a few days to reply. How's this going for everyone? Still on point or are you seeing issues? Do you prefer longer chapters that (yes take me forever to actually post), or would you want more updates with shorter chapters? I am curious.
> 
> Hope you're all doing well! Find me on tumblr, and if you're on tumblr please add me so I can see what you're into!
> 
> http://bellenuit45.tumblr.com/


	13. Million Dollar Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Mae discuss the logistics of going to Sokovia while Steve and James "talk" about their expectations of each other. The Soldier part of James begins to voice his opinion about what he sees in Mae and the undercurrent of not agreeing with James.
> 
> Big thanks to Joey99 for commenting on the last chapter I do appreciate it truly xoxo <3
> 
> Any mistakes I make are solely mine, hope the Russian was correct because if it isn't damn you GOOGLE!

“One for the money, two for the show.

I love you honey, I'm ready, I'm ready to go.

How do you get that way? I don't know.

You're screwed up and brilliant,

You look a million dollar man.

So why is my heart broke?”

 

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5H467MnzVs&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&index=43 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5H467MnzVs&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&index=43)

 

Tony had helped allocate the necessary supplies that Mae and James would need when they arrived in Sokovia. He made sure that there were enough supplies to keep them in business so to speak for a few months, and inventory was digital so Mae wouldn't have to sit there and manually check inventory. He also made sure that their home was wired with Friday, and had a containment area that doubled as a panic room. He made sure to test it with the Hulks strength in mind, just in case. He ran a few final checks, and he had to make sure that they wouldn't encounter any governemnt issues while they worked there. They were leaving tomorrow morning, and he knew that Steve was already surly knowing that his bestie was headed to a country that was still torn with political refuse, and unrest. He hoped that Wanda would join them, she had agreed to help out. She was still wary of him, something he absolutely hated, he thought back to when he and Steve argued about keeping her under lock and key to protect her.

 

\----- _flashback_ \-----

 _"_ _Wanda? What about Wanda?” Steve asked._

“ _She's fine. She's confined in the compound currently. Vision's keeping her company.” Tony stated._

“ _Oh God, Tony! Every time. Every time I think you're seeing things the right way..” Steve said._

“ _It's 100 acres with a lap pool. It's got a screening room. There are worse ways to protect people. She's not a US citizen and they don't grant visas to Weapons of Mass Destruction!” Tony exclaimed._ ** _I am trying to protect those in my life!_**

“ _Protection?! Is that how you see this? This ins't protection, it's interment, Tony. Come on she's a kid!” Steve said angerly._

“ _Gimme a break! I'm doing what has to be done, to save us from something worse.” Tony said. He watched as Steve angrily shook his head, he was wearing his disapointed face too. Steve left Tony alone with his thoughts, and all he could think about was 'will this be the straw that breaks the camels back?'._

\----- _End Flashback_ \-----

All Tony had ever wanted was to protect those he loved and cared about, having Mae around before she left for Wakanda had been instrumental in his healing. He knew that the Accords were a load of horse shit, but at the time all he could think about was wanting to be held accountable with the various governments, and he had hoped that they would actually have their back. He knew he went about it the wrong way, watching the Avengers turned against each other was terrifying in ways he didn't want to consider. He looked at his phone, Pepper was still his background, he missed her that was undeniable. They had been through so much together, his antics and philandering, coming out as Iron Man, having her go through Extemis, everything with Vanko and Justin Hammer. It all spiraled out of control, he tried so hard to keep those he thought he couldn't live without safe and it seemed like the harder he tried the less he actually accomplished. He was lost in his thoughts when he felt a soft hand on his shoulder.

“Tony?” Mae asked.

“Sorry Mae I didn't hear you come in.” Tony said.

“Are you okay? You seem preoccupied.” Mae said. Tony looked worn, his eyes held endless knowledge and a pain she was familiar with.

“I got lost in my thoughts.” Tony stated. “When will it be enough?”

“When will you feel like you've done enough or when will you feel like you're absolved from the guilt you carry?” Mae asked.

“Any, either, both.” Tony stated.

“Tony you're by far one of the most intelligent people I have ever had the chance to work with, but sometimes I think you miss the important bits.” Mae stated. “You created how many suits?”

“A lot sometimes I don't even really remember.” Tony stated.

“Okay so lets focus on things that will give the world a chance to heal.” Mae said. “Where I'm headed, they need more medical help, sustainable living quarters, those types of things.”

“What are you suggesting?” Tony asked.

“Help me design cheaper sustainable living quarters, help me develop my serum to protect those with mental diseases, use your vast knowledge to help people in third world countries. Use your beautiful mind to help build life, don't worry so much about the grandest of plans, concentrate on things that will provide a better quality of living.” Mae said. She watched as Tony came to the same conclusion she had.

“We could do that, we could easily use some of the materials we've developed to help create sustainable living quarters. We could build a filtration system into it to give them cleaner air, fresher water, power with solar energy.” Tony said. He immediately began pulling up varied schematics that Mae had been working on with him before she left, he remembered the film Howard, no _Dad_ had made, telling him that he was limited by his own technology of his time, limitless energy. “Mae I could kiss you right now.”

“I would remind you that I am in a very committed relationship even though I do adore you Tony.” Mae said with a smile. “Don't limit yourself by the guilt you carry Tony, use your brilliance to help create a world that's better, I believe in you, I always have.”

“You know I could offer you the world.” Tony said with a sly smirk.

“You already gave me my own world Tony.” Mae said with a smile.

“He really does make you happy.” Tony said.

“He does, he fills in the cracks.” Mae said.

“Don't let him go, don't waste the time you two have.” Tony said.

“I understand why she left, but you're worth more than an after thought Tony.” Mae stated.

“I appreciate what you're saying, but it's a little to late.” Tony said.

“You never know, we're able to change ourselves, it's the best part of humanity, we can choose who we are.” Mae said. She hugged Tony tightly, and instead of acting like a cat being force loved, he returned her hug tightly pressing her against his chest, his cheek resting on the crown of her head.

“I'm glad I have you in my life again.” Tony said. “Felt pretty bad when you left and I am sorry for what I said to you. I was way out of line.”

“Thank you, and I'm sorry I didn't stay to listen to you. I abandoned you when you needed me, and I apologize.” Mae said.

“I'd say let's kiss since we've made up, but your boy friend has a hell of a punch.” Tony said with that famous smirk.

“Very true. So all the preparations look like they are done, I talked to Wanda she's going to meet us there.” Mae said. “Steve is still annoyed with me.”

“Well I think he expected to have the full reuniting of the Popsicle gallery, don't take it too personally.” Tony said.

“Sometimes he acts like I'm stealing James away from him, and while I understand he has to understand that James isn't the man he knew back in the day.” Mae said.

“He wrote the book on stubborn, my best advice is let him come to terms with it. Barnes is the last link to his past.” Tony said.

“I know, logically I know that, and if James wanted to go back to New York I'd support him in that, but he doesn't want to go back he wants to create his own path.” Mae said.

“Guessing that walk they went on discussed all of this?” Tony asked while he fiddled with a 3D platform that looked like miniature arc reactors.

“Yes. Evidently I am stealing James from Steve and preventing James from acclimating to his new life. Steve is very thankful I was able to help him, but he feels like I'm stepping on his toes. What am I supposed to say?” Mae asked.

“Did Barnes defend you?” Tony asked.

“He did. He was annoyed when he got back.” Mae said. “He told Steve to back off and let him live the life he wants to live, he tried to let Steve know that Sokovia wasn't the end of the line, but a way to integrate himself into life.”

“And Steve tried to tell him that he could do that in New York?” Tony asked.

“Yeah basically that's what he alluded to.” Mae said.

“Well as long as you and Barnes are on the same page isn't that what matters?” Tony asked.

“Am I pushing James to do something that while it will help him, will also hinder him?” Mae asked.

“No, you asked him what he wanted to do, and that's the path he's on you may be a part of that, but you didn't push him into anything he didn't want. Don't put that on yourself.” Tony stated.

“Thank you, I appreciate you saying that.” Mae said with a sad smile.

“If you start crying, well just don't, I don't do well with weepy women.” Tony said gently.

“I might just to see what you do.” Mae said with a laugh. “Well I should finish packing, if I leave it up to James we'll have the basics and mostly ammunition.”

“Men I tell ya, never remembering the important things.” Tony said in a falsetto tone.

“Never change Tony.” Mae said with a smile. “Well I better go finish packing, see you for dinner?”

“Yeah T'Challa will be here to give you a send off.” Tony said.

“Okay Tony, see you later and thank you.” Mae said.

* * *

 

Mae wandered through the compound, she remembered when she first arrived, she needed that alone time greatly. She stood in her laboratory and checked to make sure that all of her data had been backed up to her private server before she deleted her work from the computers. She walked over to the cryo tube that James had been housed in, she remembered the nights when she couldn't sleep. She smiled before she left the lab locking the doors behind her. When she turned the corner, she could hear Steve and James arguing, she didn't want to interrupt them, but it sounded like it was going to come to blows.

“That's a bullshit excuse!” Steve said.

“No it's just not what you want to hear.” James stated calmly.

“You're running from your problems, how do you know you won't be triggered in some way?” Steve asked.

“I don't, and you don't know that I'll be just fine without you. Steve I respect you, and I couldn't be happier having you in my life, but you have got to let me make my own decisions.” James said. “I ain't the guy you remember, I won't ever be just him, and you gotta make peace with that.”

“So she's welcome in your life, but I'm not?” Steve asked acidicly.

“She doesn't see me like most people, she's willin' to give me a chance and I'm not throwin' that away. Without her, without Tony I wouldn't even be here, or you forgettin' that?” James asked.

“I get that, Darcy has stood by me through all of this and she still sees the best in me.” Steve said. He ran a hand across his eyes. “I'm sorry, I just got you back and I hate thinking that we're being separated by an ocean again. I was looking forward to you having my back.”

“Stevie, ain't nothin' this side of the world that would keep me from havin' your back. If you need me I'm only a call away.” James said. The Soldier kept pushing to have a say in the argument but James kept him repressed in his mind. He knew what he'd say, and Steve didn't need to feel worse about himself.

“Don't do anything stupid over there, you've got Wanda joining you right?” Steve asked.

“You're takin' all the stupid with you anyways, Mae will keep us in line and Wanda will be there tomorrow.” James said. He pulled Steve into a hug. “Go find your spitfire, don't waste time thinkin' 'bout me, you gonna propose?”

“I might be, but I haven't found the right time to do it.” Steve said.

“Who says there's a right time?” James asked.

“Yeah, well, I guess I worry.” Steve said.

“The way she looks at you, she isn't going to say no.” James said.

“Yeah, that I do know.” Steve said.

“Then what are you waiting for?” James asked.

“How about time off, this type of life doesn't leave a lot of free time.” Steve said.

“So make the most of it Stevie, every moment you do have with her, cherish it.” James said softly.

Mae walked into the living room, she made eye contact with James, his eyes softened before he smiled at her. He walked over towards her pulling her tightly into his arms, Steve watched them, it hurt seeing how easily they interacted. He didn't have a real issue with Mae, she was kind, intelligent, and compassionate. She was everything that Bucky would need to heal, and make peace with who he was. Steve knew he was being a selfish asshole, but it was more than a little grating that he chose her over him. _Jealous, you're jealous. Even though you don't have a reason to be jealous of them. He's right, he won't be the Bucky that you remember, he will always be your brother, but it's time for him to find out who he is._

“Mae, everything packed and ready for your trip?” Steve asked, he tried to smile at her, she had given him Bucky, but it fell short.

“Almost, I have to make sure James remembered to pack things that aren't just armaments.” Mae teased. “You'll visit right?”

“Darcy and I both will, she wants to document your work.” Steve said.

“Well we look forward to your visit.” Mae said with a smile.

“She thinks hosting the press conference there might be beneficial, she said it would give a great angle regarding your continued want to help others.” Steve said.

“She really is exceptional Steve, I wish you both the best of lucky.” Mae said with a smile. “Well I'm going to finish packing, T'Challa said he would be here for dinner.”

“You want any help?” James asked.

“Sure, I'd appreciate it.” Mae said with a smile.

“I better check in with Darcy and Tony.” Steve said as he made his way to the door. “Keep him safe Mae.”

“I will do my very best.” Mae said. She felt James tug at her hand, she looked up at him and smiled. “How was your day?”

“So far? I could go for a beer.” James said with a wry grin.

“You two fought all day?” Mae asked. James led her towards their quarters.

“Not all day, but a majority of it yes. He's stubborn.” James said.

“That I did know, but really are you two going to be okay?” Mae asked. James opened their door before ushering her in.

“We'll be fine, he's worried that I'll compromise my recovery by being there. He doesn't understand that I need to forage my own path.” James stated.

He felt the Soldier pressing at his conscious.

 _**He's worried you'll care for her more than him, he's jealous.** _ _I know that, he'll eventually get used to it._ _**Don't sacrifice her for him.** _ _And you think I'd do that?_ _**He's very important to you.** _ _And she's not? Don't you get it?_ _**You have sacrificed so much for him, your sanity, your soul, your body. When will it be enough?** _ _You'd follow her to Hell and back, isn't that the same?_ _**She wouldn't ask me to do that, so I don't have to worry about that. She's the first person I've wanted, wanted to be around, share my life with. You're compromised when it comes to him and you always will be.** _ _And what I'm supposed to sacrifice him to keep her is that it?_ _**There's going to be a point where you're going to have to choose, and you might lose whomever you don't choose.** _

“James?” Mae asked. She could tell that he was lost in his own mind, she touched his shoulder gently trying to give him a contact point to reality.

“Sorry, lost in my thoughts.” James said quietly. “When he takes over, I don't always remember what he does or says, sometimes it's like I'm listenin' to the radio, but it won't come in clear.”

“Do you eventually remember?” Mae asked. “How long has this been happening?”

“It was like this when Hydra first created him, I'd lose chunks of time, the frequency of them wiping my memory I'd lose it all only to slowly remember what happened. I remember it all now, but I know he could take over.” James said.

“And the times recently when he's surfaced, do you remember everything?” Mae asked. She watched as his eyes closed, he stood up straighter.

“Он помнит все.” James said. {He remembers}

“What's wrong?” Mae asked.

“Он будет жертвовать всем для Стива.” James said. {He will sacrifice everything for Steve}

“And Steve would do the same for him.” Mae stated.

“Я не потеряю тебя, потому что он готов пожертвовать вам.” James snarled. He watched as her eyes widened slightly, he reached out to her, she pulled her his strong arms. He pressed a soft kiss into her hair, he could smell the warm vanilla she seemed to exude. _How could you say that to her?! What is wrong with you? She is everything._ _ **And yet what I said was the truth, if it came down to the hard choice, would you chose to protect Steve or her?**_ Silence answered him.{I will not lose you because he is willing to sacrifice you}

“Why do you think you'll have to make that choice?” Mae asked, her voice was muffled against his chest. She felt his arms tighten around her.

“ **He will always choose Steve, he is conflicted. You are both targets, and if he hesitates you will die. I will not choose him, I would protect you to the end of my days.”** James said. It was the first time that the Solider in him chose to speak English over Russian. **“He cares for you deeply, do not doubt that, but his loyalty will remain with Steve.”**

“That is his choice to make isn't it? I can't and won't make him choose, I would cut him free of me if that is what he wants.” Mae said solemnly.

“ **And what of me? I just go where he goes, shoot who he decides?”** James asked.

“I don't know, you two would have to collectively discuss what you need and what you want.” Mae said.

“ **I was never allowed to choose, I want you.”** James stated. **“I don't want to relinquish control, I will not lose you.”**

“James I think this is something you two need to discuss, you share a body, you share a mind. I don't know how to help you, you need to select a doctor to talk to, to help you both.” Mae answered.

“Я никогда не испытывал любовь. Я хотел бы, чтобы испытать это с вами.” James said. {I have never experienced love, I would like to try it with you}

She didn't know what to say, seeing James so conflicted, she felt lost. She met his eyes, there was a single spark of warmth in his crystalline eyes.

“I will be here, for you both.” Mae said. She watched as he visibly relaxed in their embrace. “Thank you.”

“Вы даете мне надежду, Я могу быть больше, чем то, что я был создан для.” James said {You give me hope that I can be more than what I was made for}

“You are, and you always will be more than what they tried to make you. You're a good man, and I cherish you.” Mae said, she tried to affirm that she cared for them. _This is more difficult than I thought, he's at war with himself, is this what happened when they created the secondary personality?_ “James, have you ever been at war with yourself?”

“ **Yes, when they first got him, he fought and he continued to fight. I was stronger than he was before, now? We are matched.”** James said.

“What happened when you fought with dominance?” Mae asked.

“ **Order though pain, he learned that his will was nothing compared to the pain order brings. He never stopped fighting them, or me.”** James said. _Stop! Stop telling her these things, she deserves to know what happened, but don't make her doubt_ ** _you? Even though you can't decide how much she means to you._** _She means the world to me._ ** _You wouldn't let the world burn for her though, you are incapable of letting the world burn unless it's for him._** _That isn't true, why can't we protect them both?_ ** _Because we are one person, and that means that if it came down to protecting one or the other, we'd still sacrifice one of them. That is the harsh reality of this, the choices we are able to make, we have to live with the consequences._** _And you really believe that I would sacrifice her?I don't want to lose them, but I understand what you're saying._

“James, I don't want you to fight with yourself over this. If you decide, either of you, that you would be happier in New York, I will understand.” Mae said, as soon as those words left her lips she felt a cold drop of fear settle in her stomach. Her heart clenched, and she felt herself stiffen, she slowly pulled away from him as she made her way to her bedroom she glanced back and saw that his brow was furrowed, he was lost in his own thoughts.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes that was a wee bit evil I suppose, but I wanted it to feel realistic, it makes sense to me that they wouldn't always agree. Thank you for taking time to read my work, thank you for the comments and the kudos.
> 
> If you have time please comment, I am undyingly curious about what you feel when you read my work. I would appreciate any feed back thank you!
> 
> Thanks again for reading you make my day!


	14. The Sound of Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Mae have a heartfelt discussion regarding what is best for James' recovery. Tony has a heart and it's exemplified here. 
> 
> Side note...does anyone have the gif of James firing his M1941 rifle? The one where he racks the bolt back? I really need it, and I googled but only got stills. Fun fact, while there is a bolt on the Johnson M1941, racking it back like he does in the movies is a waste because it's a semi-automatic and he'd be discharging a new bullet.

Hello darkness, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again, because a vision softly creeping.  
Left its seeds while I was sleeping, and the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains.  
Within the sound of silence, in restless dreams I walked alone.  
Narrow streets of cobblestone 'neath the halo of a street lamp.  
I turned my collar to the cold and damp,  
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light that split the night,  
And touched the sound of silence.

**[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4&index=45&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&shuffle=251 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4&index=45&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&shuffle=251) **

Mae continued to work on keeping her mind busy, she had effectively finished packing up the remaining articles of clothing and oddities that had collected in her person quarters. She had heard James shuffling in the living room, he was lost to his own demons, and she knew that he needed to sort through his thoughts before they sat down and talked about everything that was on his mind. It hurt to hear him so conflicted, while she knew that his psyche was in a tumultuous phase, it still hurt to know that he was conflicted. Initially it was her James that was so steadfast in his belief that he was happy to be with her, but as his confidence grew, the Solider too became stronger. It calmed her slightly to know that the abrasive personality he held was so fond of her, but she didn't like being caught between them, she didn't want to be the straw that broke the camels back. But it seemed like that was what was happening between them, they were both strong personalities, and she knew he was at war with himself. Seeing how completely withdrawn he had become, it worried her, she knew that he was going to need a strong support system and with everyone heading in different directions she knew it was putting a toll on him.  _Is it really the worries you have because he is torn between who he feels the most loyal to? Or is it that you may not be the one he would chose if the choice came down to it? That's the part you have a hard time swallowing, you may not be the one he chooses, he still has Steve. You can't compete with a lifetime of memories, at the end of the day, you're still left alone. Alone with your demons, the lonely silence, and silence like a cancer, grows._ She was pulled out of her silent musings when her phone pinged. She grabbed it off her dresser and saw that it was from Steve. 

_ -Can we meet and talk?-Steve G. Rogers _

_ \--Sure I'm free now, have you seen James?-Mae _

_ -I'll swing by your place, he's talking to Tony now.-Steve G. Rogers _

_ \--Thank you.-Mae _

Mae finished putting her clothes into a duffel bag when she heard a brief knock at her door. She made her way to the entry and let Steve in. He looked a little worn around the edges and she could feel the waves of tension roll off of him. 

“Steve? Are you alright?” Mae asked.

“Well, to be very honest with you I'm handling things as best as I can.” Steve said resolutely. “So, Buck may have mentioned that you two had a fight.”

“A fight? I don't think I'd classify it as a fight.” Mae said. 

“No you're right, I suppose it was more of him fighting with himself. It worries me, the fractures in his personality. Darcy had me reading up on D.I.D. But it doesn't exactly fit that either.” Steve said.

“I don't honestly know if he'll ever really revert back to a standard personality, or if he will always remain with both. The therapists that we found have extensive backgrounds that deal with what they would consider abnormal psychology, and also they work well with veterans that have been prisoners of war.” Mae stated calmly.

“I'm glad he has someone like you, he, he's everything to me. I know he feels lost, he's been going from one fight to another and it wears on you.” Steve said.

“I'm sure it does, isn't that the same thing you've been through? You were scarcely 'awake' before the Battle of New York happened, and from there you've dismantled Shield, took down a murder bot and found out your best friend isn't dead.” Mae said.

“I wasn't being tortured and reeducated while I was on ice, I don't know how to help him. I know that he chose to do the relief work, but part of me will always feel like I should be working with him.” Steve said. “It's not that I think you're incapable of helping him, far from it, you've already saved him.”

“But?” Mae asked.

“He might need saving from himself and I don't know if you're going to be able to pull him from that black hole.” Steve said.

“What do you suggest?” Mae asked.

“See how it plays out, I don't want to take his choices from him either, but if you see him slipping you will have to make the hard choice. You'll have to judicially take charge and do what's best for him, even if it isn't what he wants. Are you able to do that?” Steve asked levelly. 

“I honestly don't know. Are you worried about him hurting people physically? Or watching his mental state deteriorate?” Mae asked.

“Both. I threw myself into work, and I had little concern to my physical well being. It took me almost dying a few times and seeing how it hurt Darcy before I was able to pull myself back together. I don't know if he's capable of that, and I don't know if I can lose him again.” Steve said cautiously.

“What are you really asking me Steve? To give him up? Tell him he needs to find salvation without me? Put him back with the Avengers? With you? He doesn't want to fight anymore, I won't take away his choices.” Mae said, her eyes were flashing with underlying anger.

“I'm asking you to do the right thing! Whether that means sending him to New York, staying here, or going to Sokovia, you have to do the right thing for him. I don't know what will happen if he has a set back, you're not as strong as him, if he slips and hurts you what then?” Steve yelled. “He gets to live with the knoweldge that he injured someone he loves?”

“I don't think he'd ever harm me. He doesn't have a long history with me, he's never seen me as a target, so I don't believe that your reasoning is sound.” Mae said. “I trust him.”

“Even when half of him would rather follow me, than follow you?” Steve asked.

“I told him that if he decided he would rather move on and go to New York I would support his decision. He isn't some errant toddler that needs a baby sitter, he's a grown man that is learning that it's okay to have his own wants and needs.” Mae stated.

“You'd let him go?” Steve asked.

“If it was what he wanted, then yes I would.” Mae said soundly. 

“You'd be able to just let him go?” Steve asked.

“Would it hurt? Absolutely. Part of loving someone Steve, is letting them go if they feel like they need to go. I won't ever emotionally blackmail him to stay, nor will I keep him with me because it's easier on me emotionally.” Mae said.

“Is that how you see it? Emotional blackmail?” Steve asked her. 

“You will always have a very strong pull over him, he innately wants to protect you, from whatever is coming after you.” Mae said. “I don't think you realize how much you're able to affect him, the James you know would, and has followed you through Hell, and he would continue to do it with you if it meant that you were safe.”

“And the Soldier would do that for you.” Steve said. “He didn't recognize me, when he was triggered it was like a ghost took over his body and Bucky was gone. I've seen the Solider surface more than a few times since I've been here and he instinctively looks for your approval.”

“I know, and it sickens me to see him at war with himself.” Mae said. “If you truly believe that he would be better without me, maybe getting treatment for what he suffers from in an inpatient facility that is something you'll have to discuss like adults with him.”

“I'm not a medical professional, but I do agree that he does need help. Do you think that the video conferences are just as good as being in person?” Steve asked.

“Steve, do you like apples or oranges better?” Mae asked.

“Uh, I don't know how that bears any relevance to what we're talking about.” Steve said.

“Apples or oranges?” Mae asked.

“Oranges, they were pretty hard to come by when we were growing up.” Steve said.

“Okay well I prefer apples because they remind me of the orchards I grew up near.” Mae said.

“I'm confused.” Steve said.

“We explained our two preferences, based on what we like and what works for us. Therapy is the same, it's all about what you're comfortable with. It's been shown that people tend to be able to open up to someone they've never met because they feel like that person doesn't have a preconceived notion about how they are supposed to behave.” Mae said.

“So you think that it would work.” Steve said.

“Any form of treatment only works if the patient believes and wants it to work.” Mae said. “I know that isn't what you want to hear, but thems the breaks kid.”

“I appreciate you trying to explain it to me, so what's the next course of action?” Steve asked.

“I think you need to sit down with him and discuss your worries and come to a conclusion together.” Mae said resolutely.

“I don't know if me bringing it up with him is the best approach.” Steve said.

“Steve, you're both grown men, with that being said I think you can you're just not looking forward to it.” Mae stated.

“Well, you're not wrong.” Steve said.

“Well hop to it, look at the treatment plans. Darcy helped me with some of them, so she would be able to outline what each of the varied treatment plans entail.” Mae said.

“I will do that, thank you for watching over him.” Steve said.

“Of course, I care about him deeply, and I will do everything to safe guard him.” Mae said with a soft smile. 

“I know you would.” Steve said before he nodded and abruptly left.

* * *

 

“So?” Tony asked.

“It's adequate, some of your security protocols countermand each other though.” James said.

“Which ones?” Tony asked. His eyes widened as he watched James pull out a piece of paper and hand it to him. “You made a list.”

“Her safety is paramount, so yes I did make a list.” James said. 

“Well T2 I suppose I had that coming, any other specifics you need?” Tony asked.

“Regarding the provisions for Sokovia no, I think everything else is fine.” James said. 

“I have a foot locker, yours I believe. It was supposed to be sent home to your family, but they asked Dad to hold onto for them.” Tony said. He watched as James squared his shoulders before he met Tony's eyes. “I can continue storing it, or you can take it with you.”

“Do you know what's in it?” James asked.

“I haven't peeked if that's what you're insinuating.” Tony said. “I have your old rifle too.”

“You do? I figured the Army would have kept that.” James said. “I miss that rifle, sure my Dragnov is great, but I miss the way the Johnson felt, sturdy and well built.”

“Well, I have it with me, wasn't sure if you'd want it or not.” Tony said. “A free piece of advice, don't lose what you have with her, she's unlike anyone you've ever met.”

“I don't plan on it, she's more than I ever expected to find. Especially now.” James said. “I'll take the trunk and rifle with me, not sure I can go through the trunk yet, but I appreciate it. Thank you.”

“You're welcome.” Tony said, he met James' eyes before he tossed down a figurative gauntlet. “If you break her heart, I'll make our little excursion to Russia look like a snow ball fight.”

“I understand.” James said with an almost imperceptible nod. “You'll have his back while I'm gone?”

“Of course, we're presenting a very united front.” Tony stated. “Oh and by the time you land, you'll have your documentation of you being a citizen of good ole America again.”

“How did you orchestrate that?” James asked.

“Luckily being me, and also working with Shield they've granted you your walking papers. I don't think you'll have any problems being acquitted, ergo you're being claimed as being alive.” Tony stated. “And it's looking like the Army is going to need to issue you quite the retirement egg.”

“They'll really give me my back pay?” James asked. _**Not to mention the money we have hidden away, fleecing Hydra was almost as good as snapping their necks in retribution.**_

“They will, and they will also be restoring your rank to you as well. I can't remember what rank you technically hold now, but most of the military will be saluting you.” Tony said. 

“Thank you Tony.” James said unsure of what else he could say to impress upon Tony the seriousness of what he felt. Gratitude. 

“Keep her safe, treat her right and we'll call it even.” Tony said.

“How long have you known her?” James asked.

“A few years now, she's incredibly bright, heart of gold.” Tony said as he finalized the security protocols. “Almost lost her too.”

“When the Accords came into play?” James asked.

“Yeah, not such a brilliant move, but I did what I did so I could protect those I love.” Tony said. He watched as James scrutinized what he was saying. “I am sorry they hunted you down, and I'm sorry that I cut your arm off.”

“Tony you don't need to apologize, I'm sorry I almost beat you to death. You didn't deserve that, and I, I can't apologize enough for what I did to you.” James said. He hung his head, memories rushed around him, he could almost see Howard standing next to him laughing and joking, it moved to him crushing the life out of the Starks. He shook his head and began looking around, _deep breath hold it for 5 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds. Find 5 things you can see,_ _ **computer/Stark, Anthony E./gauntlet/foot locker/Johnson M1941.**_ “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to zone out, just caught in the memories.”

“Grounding techniques?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, I had been reading up on them when I was on the run. They help when I start to have an anxiety attack.” James said honestly. He felt surprised that he was able to be as open as he was with Tony. “Are you okay with us going to Sokovia?”

“I think you're doing what you need to do to rebuild your life, so sure why not.” Tony said. “I built a bunch of suits, threatened a terrorist, had my house blown up and then created a murder-bot. So I think you going on a relief mission to help others rebuild their homes, probably more effective.”

“Thank you. So school, it's done online now?” James asked.

“Sort of, there are physical classrooms, but while you're traveling you'll be able to learn from your tablet and or laptop. You're further along with learning how to work on modern technology.” Tony stated.

“Hydra, they made sure I was able to interface with any technology that I was given.” James stated.

“You should try and watch the Matrix.” Tony said.

“I'll add it to my list.” James said softly. He pulled out a small note book he kept and added Matrix to his movie list. 

“Not that I don't enjoy you being here, soaking in my awesomeness, but why aren't you packing?” Tony asked.

“Had a little dust up, needed to get away.” James said.

“Well, if I've learned anything, avoiding your problems usually makes them bigger.” Tony stated.

“Yeah, I know. I'm trying to piece apart my mind and figure out what I should do.” James said. “I did settle on a therapist.”

“Well that's helpful.” Tony said. “Don't avoid her, she's a lot more calm than most women, but she's probably trying to figure out what she did wrong.”

“But she didn't do anything wrong.” James said. 

“Best let her know that, also Steve, remind him that you're your own person and you are fully able to make your own decisions.” Tony said. 

“I know he feels guilty, you know for not protecting me from the fall.” James said.

“He wears his guilt pretty heavily, he needs therapy, honestly we all need therapy.” Tony said. 

“He doesn't have to protect me I'm self reliant.” James said.

“Tell him that.” Tony stated. He looked at James directly before he nodded towards the door. “Go, make your peace and we'll all meet for dinner.”

“Kicking me out already?” James asked with a smirk.

“Yeah there's an allotted amount of time I can spend helping the elderly.” Tony said with a grin.

“You youngin's never appreciating what you have. Back in my day, we took our elders very seriously.” James said with a mock frown.

“Yeah sure, go eat your fiber.” Tony said with a smile and a dismissive wave. When he was sure James had left he pulled up the files he was reviewing, it looked like Howard had been guessing that Barnes didn't die in the fall. He had sent a team after Barnes' body, but all they found were drag marks, blood, part of Barnes' arm and boot prints. _There wouldn't have been a reason to take a body unless he was still alive._ He had figured out where Barnes was being kept, he assumed he was in the German's hands, but after he learned that he was with the Russians he gave up the search. _Just another prime example that Howard was beyond fucked up, leaving a friend like that, he assumed Barnes was working willingly for the Russians. Fucking hell Dad, why didn't you look deeper into it?_ He knew that Howard had seen the product of Leviathan, along with Peggy Carter. They had taken as much information as they could from the Russian base, nothing documented that Barnes was there, and they even met Fenhoff. Fenhoff was the one that created the dual personalities, he systematically reworked Barnes' brain until he was left with a shattered psyche, a psyche that he then molded to become the Winter Solider. 

Tony sat still as he read over the reports that he held. He ran a tired hand across his face as he took into account how terrified Barnes must have felt. Rescued only to be turned over to scientists, tortured, maimed and abused. Tony sat in comparative silence as he read report after report, the documentation that he had on the Winter Solider project twisted and turned his stomach, how could one man resist only to be turned into his worst nightmare. Tony set everything down and headed towards the common living area, he was hoping that he could get his mind off of what Barnes had been through.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and keeping up with my work, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! Seriously I'd throw you all hugs and possibly baked goods. Every comment and kudo really helps, I love to know what you think. 
> 
> Does anyone have a gif of Bucky racking back the bolt on his Johnson M1941 from CA:TFA? I couldn't find one and wanted to add it to this chapter versus the still. Here's a bit know fun trivia, if you missed it in the summary, the M1941 Johnson is a semi-automatic so him racking it back means he wasted a bullet. A good bolt action would be something like a Mosin Nagant, or the Springfield M1903 which I have. 
> 
> Drop me a line if you're bored =) http://bellenuit45.tumblr.com


	15. My Own Worst Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team makes headway in dealing with Ross.  
> Mae and James make further progress.  
> Steve get's rather embarrassed!!

Stick to my guns and I watch the darkness fill the void, **  
A ** m I starting to become what I was sent here to destroy. **   
** In the mirror I see you staring back at me

This is a battle you can't win for you there's no such victory **   
** O ne day you'll pay for all your sins unless you beg for mercy **   
[My Own Worst Enemy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-GvPDX1GM8&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&index=31&shuffle=251)   
**

 

James wandered through the corridors, he was taking his time getting back to his quarters. _More like avoiding a potential argument with Steve._ _ **Why do you care so deeply about his opinion?**_ _Why do you care so deeply about hers?_ _ **Because she wants what is best for us, but not at the cost of our sovereignty.**_ _I know, she's more than we deserve. Steve wants what's best for us too, he just goes about it the wrong way, kid has always fought for what he believes in._ _ **I know, I've seen your memories, does he like getting punched?**_ _I asked the same questions, many times, never knew how to back down._ _ **He wouldn't make such a commanding presence if he didn't use his conviction to further himself.**_ _Don't tell him that, he'd probably look for the nearest fight and dive right in, told 'im before, life isn't black and white._ _ **No it isn't, life isn't simply black and white. Are we going to New York?**_ _No, as much as Steve wants us there, I think Sokovia is best for us. I don't want to hurt anyone, not anymore. I don't mind defending, but I don't want to go there just to sign up for a never ending war._ _ **I am tired of living just to kill, we don't have to do that anymore.**_ _If we're attacked in Sokovia? If they come for us again?_ _ **Then we defend ourselves, and remind them that we are neither James Barnes or the Winter Solider, we are stronger together.**_ _To Sokovia, to our future._

“James?” Mae called. “Are you back?”

“I'm sorry I left so suddenly.” James said. He saw that she wore worry in her eyes. “I found a therapist that seems to fit what I need.”

“I'm glad to hear that, Steve and I sat down and talked.” Mae said. “He wants you to do what you think will help you the most. I think he needs to speak to you.”

“I'm going to Sokovia, Steve knows he can call on me if they need another person on their team, but I'm not ready to go back to New York.” James said. “Tony and I spoke, he reminded me that dealing with trauma, you play for the long game, and I'm not going to find that in New York, least not now.”

“I'll support your decisions.” Mae said softly.

“What's wrong?” James asked, he reached out to pull her into his arms, leaning down to press his cheek along the top of her head.

“I always feel apprehensive before I travel.” Mae said. She burrowed her head against his broad chest. “How are you feeling?”

“Clear headed, Stark gives decent advice.” James said with a wry smile. “What's really bothering you?”

“I'm worried that I'm not the best choice for your recovery.” Mae said. She felt him shift, and felt his metallic fingertips tilt her chin up so their eyes would meet.

“Моя маленькая звезда, почему вы говорите, что?” James asked. {My little star, why do you say that?}

“It's something that I worry about, I worry that I'm not going to be enough to help you.” Mae said.

“Вы всегда были для меня достаточно.” James said. {You have always been enough for me}

“And if one day I'm not?” Mae asked.

“Вы обеспокоены тем, что вы не можете физически сдерживать меня.” James said.{You are concerned that you cannot physically restrain me.}

“Those concerns were brought up, I don't want to be put in that position, I'm not your keeper.” Mae said. “I want to help you with your recovery.”

“ты не мой хранитель, я не хочу никого убивать. Я бы предпочел, чтобы защитить тех, кто в этом нуждается.” James said. “мы оба хотим защитить, не травмировать.”{You're not my keeper, I do not want to kill anyone, I would prefer to protect those who need it./We both want to protect, not hurt.}

“I'm glad you both came to a decision. Everything will be fine.” Mae said.

“Могу ли я поцеловать тебя?” James asked. {May I kiss you?}

Mae leaned up and pressed her lips against his, he felt her tongue trace the seam of his lips before he slipped his flesh arm around her and tangled his other hand into her hair. He felt her smaller hands work through his hair, he pulled her flush against him before he carried her back towards their bedroom. He felt her arms shift as she wrapped them around his neck, her bright eyes shone with a fierce ardor. _I would go through the last 70 years if only to have her here, now._ _ **She is worth every second under their rule, she always will be.**_ _One day she will believe us when we tell her how important she is._ _ **Let's show her just how important she is to us.**_ He pressed a trail of kisses across her neck while his fingers worked the buttons on her shirt. He felt the silk fall from her body, before he set her lightly on their bed.

“You are beautiful, 'm lucky to have you.” James said. He pulled his shirt over his head before he stalked towards her, he'd never admit it, but he added that extra swagger in his step. She smiled up at him as her fingers used his belt loops to pull him down on top of her.

“You have quite the swagger.” Mae teased. “So sure of yourself.”

“Only confident 'round you Doll.” James said while a smirk graced his full lips.

“We don't have a lot of time before we're due to meet with T'Challa.” Mae said with a smile. His finger tips were tracing a path from her collarbone to the skin on her hip bones. He deftly popped the button on her jeans, he kept his eyes on hers, he slid the zipper down and leaned down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss.

“We have just enough time before we have to be anywhere.” James said as he bit down on her collarbone before he undid the snap on her bra. “As beautiful as your unmentionables are, they'll look better on the floor.”

“And how often did that work back in the 40's?” Mae said. Her breath caught when he bit down on the swell of her breasts. Her hand carded through his hair and her back bowed as he continued his oral assault on her chest. “Lose your pants.”

“I kinda want you to make me.” James said with a smirk. “Gotta lose yours too Doll.”

“Still didn't answer my question James.” Mae said with a smile, his eyes were the dark blue of a midnight sky, deepened in color and lit with a dark flame. She slid her jeans off before she straddled his lap. She kissed his neck, nipping and biting along the strong muscles in his neck. She felt his hands grab her hips, he pulled her down roughly on his lap, he pushed his hips up until she was grinding along his arousal. “You are a clever distraction.”

“Just a distraction Doll?” James said with a smile. He heard the knob of their door turning, he grabbed her hips and rolled her backwards so she was sitting behind him. Steve popped his head in, and as soon as he saw them in their state of undress he flushed bright red. “I swear Stevie, gonna call you Captain Cock-Block.”

Steve stood in the door awkwardly, his eyes were pointed up towards the ceiling, he shifted from foot to foot.

“Uh yeah, Darcy sent me down here to collect you two.” Steve said.

“Right, well how 'bout you let us get dressed.” James said with a smile, it quickly turned into a smirk. “You know, unless you wanna join in.”

“Jesus Buck!” Steve exclaimed. He quickly executed an about face so swiftly and precisely he knew his former drill sergeant would have been impressed. He waited outside their bedroom while he sent a message to Darcy.

_-I saw more of them than I wanted to.-Steve_

_\--Pics or it didn't happen!-Darcy_

_-Oh it was happening, and I'm trying to erase that particular memory-Steve_

_\--That's hilarious.-Darcy_

_-You're telling Tony aren't you.-Steve_

_\--Maybe? Probably...yes...-Darcy_

_-I wish you could see how hard I am face palming.-Steve_

_\--Oh I'm sure.-Darcy_

“Steve I am so sorry about that!” Mae said. Steve flushed crimson from his neck to the tips of his ears.

“Well, it wasn't anything I haven't seen of Bucky's.” Steve said while still red. “I'm sorry I didn't knock.”

“No worries Steve, is T'Challa here already?” Mae asked she felt James walk up behind her.

“No, but we have to discuss a few things. We think Ross may have figured out where you two are heading.” Steve stated. “We'll discuss it upstairs, Tony and Darcy already began compiling a tentative list of alternative if he is trying to reissue a manhunt.”

* * *

 

“Short and stacked, has Ross made contact or tried to?” Tony asked as he swiped across his tablet.

“No Dunderhead Ross hasn't made official contact, but he is searching pretty relentlessly to find Bucky, and he's trying to figure out where the rest of us are and what our agenda is.” Darcy said.

“Any other news about Barnes having his actual walking papers?” Tony asked.

“Your lawyers said that they should be here by tomorrow morning at the latest.” Darcy said. “Also it looks like many of the countries that originally signed the Accords are backing out of them now.”

“Any specifics?” Tony asked.

“Sure they actually read them, and then realized what a load of shit they are? I mean think about it, if you got enough countries to vote together they could potentially have the Avengers act as a black ops group and topple a regime.” Darcy said. “Not to mention the registration of powered people, it's like ringing a dinner bell to those that would harm others just because they're different.”

“You aren't wrong there, what countries are still trying to cling to the Accords?” Tony asked.

“A little more than half, but they are dropping off quickly. Especially after we dumped the information that Ross wanted to collect powered people and 'study' them.” Darcy stated.

“And by study you mean experiment on.” Tony said.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Darcy said. “About time you three.”

“I'd apologize, but I wouldn't mean it.” Mae said with a smile.

“Heard sexy-times got interrupted.” Darcy said with a laugh.

“Yeah, Captain Cock-Block interrupted us.” James said with a mock scowl.

“Hey I'm the one mentally scarred!” Steve said with mock anger.

“First show is free Steve, then we start charging.” Mae said in a deadpan tone.

“Bunch of jokers all of you.” Steve said.

“Basically, Ross is after anyone powered, to either contain, control and or experiment on.” Tony said. “Many of the countries that signed the Accords are now backing out after we showed what Ross was planning.”

“So where does that leave us?” James asked. He crossed his arms across his chest, and looked at Mae.

“It leaves us on defense, you will have your name cleared by tomorrow morning. That doesn't grant immunity from Ross, but it's a damn good start.” Tony said.

“Will he come after us?” James asked.

“He can try, but he doesn't have jurisdiction to do so.” Darcy said. She passed Mae her tablet that high lighted Ross' agenda.

“Will he be safe in Sokovia?” Mae asked.

“He should be, they stopped backing Ross' agenda and the Accords.” Tony said. “If he tried attacking either of you, you'd both be protected.”

“Would it be safer for us to stay here?” James asked.

“Yes and no, T'Challa said you could stay here, but don't let Ross dictate where you want to begin rebuilding.” Tony said. “You'll be safe in Sokovia too, and you'll be safe in your quarters as well.”

“Feels like I'm trading one gilded cage for another.” James said. _**Will she be safe with us? We could protect her the best, she would be safer with us.**_ _Do you want to run the risk of her getting injured or taken for aiding and abetting us?_ _ **No, but I know what we are capable of.**_

“When does Wanda touch down?” Mae asked.

“Tomorrow she was meeting you at the airfield in Sokovia.” Steve said.

“Who's shadowing her for protection?” Mae asked.

“Clint.” Steve answered.

“James? What do you want to do?” Mae asked.

“We'll go to Sokovia, that was the original plan, and unless Ross tries to do something at the airfield we can get acclimated fairly quickly.” James said.

“Alright, well we should head towards the center compound and meet with T'Challa.” Darcy said.

Mae wrapped her hands around James' arm, curling her body against his. He wrapped his arm around her until she was enveloped against his chest. He murmured against her hair, promising to keep her safe. His fingers carded through her hair as he held her. He pressed a tender kiss to her temple and tilted her chin up so her eyes met his.

“You'll be safe, won't let anything get to you.” James said.

“I know, I feel safer with you than apart.” Mae said.

“я люблю тебя моя маленькая звезда.” James said. {I love you my little star.}

“я тоже тебя люблю.” Mae replied. {I love you too.}

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang photo bucket is down so I couldn't add in the photos I wanted to.  
> Thank you for taking the time to read, comment and kudo my work I do so appreciate it!!  
> I will be working on this while I go on break from the everyday life.
> 
> I appreciate those of you that have stayed with me while I work on this work, I appreciate the comments and the kudos seriously makes my freaking day! Hope you all have a great weekend!! <3


	16. All I Want for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this really is a more fluff filled chapter. I wanted to do a full Christmas chapter but the second half will be posted sometime this coming week, I had to break this into two chapters because there was so much and I didn't want it to constantly run over.
> 
> Wanda is in Sokovia setting up, Mae and James arrive in Sokovia and they are met with some new additions =)

**Chapter 13:** **All I Want for Christmas**

I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is you

I won't ask for much this Christmas  
I won't even wish for snow, and I  
I just wanna keep on waiting  
Underneath the mistletoe

**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY> **

  


James doubled checked the rigging on his vest, they were due to land in Sokovia in a few moments. They had the paperwork that James needed to assume his identity, Stark had kept his word and assured him that by the end of the month he would be fully reinstated and cleared of his alter egos crimes. He heard Mae playing music in her mobile lab, she had been working at making sure everything was set for their arrival. It took him a moment, before he recognized the songs playing, she was playing varied Christmas songs. His heart jumped in his chest, _when was the last time we heard Christmas music?_ _Sinatra singing “to the years we all will be together, if the fates allow, hang a shining star upon the highest bow, and have yourself a merry little Christmas now.”_

\-----flashback------

“ _Ma!” James called through the house. He saw his mother standing over the stove while she added a few sprigs of cinnamon to the mulled cider._

“ _James, haven't we taught you better than to sit there and bellow through the house?” Winifred asked her slightly scolding tone was belayed with the smile on her face. “Steve and Sarah joining us?”_

“ _I hope so.” James said with a smile. “Do you need me to pick up anything? I was going to head over there and make sure they will both attend.”_

“ _I am a little short on the cider, would you please pick some up?” Winifred said._

“ _Sure Ma, I can do that.” James said as he kissed his mothers cheek. “Love you Ma!”_

“ _Be careful out there, the weather is supposed to be pretty bad, why don't you take the car and pick them up.” Winifred said with a soft smile. When her son told her that the Rogers weren't planning on having a Christmas meal she made sure to save up and ensure that they would join them for a roasted turkey and ham. She made sure to make plenty just so they had extra food to take home. She looked at Steve like he was their other son, Sarah had been ill for a few weeks, she worked the longest and usually the toughest shifts so Steve had the medicine he needed. She knew James often chipped in to make sure they didn't go without fuel to heat their apartment. She was proud of her son, knowing that he was a good, loyal man. She was proud that he had taken to heart the values she had tried to instill in him. She had read him the riot act of constantly going out and chasing skirts around town, but at the end of the day her son was a good man and she couldn't be happier._

 _\-----_ flashback end-----

James made his way towards her lab and saw her dancing around her lab while singing along to Bing Crosby, her eyes were lit with joy as she danced. He stood in the door way watching her, he pulled out the phone that Steve had given him, he snapped a few photos quickly before he sent Steve a message.

_-Steve, need some help, I want to get Mae something for Christmas. Where could I get jewelery?-Bucky_

_\--Uh, well it depends on what type of jewelery you're looking for.-Steve_

_-She's dancing in the lab to Bing Crosby, I'd like to get her a necklace that she can change out the charm depending on the season.-Bucky_

_\--Darcy is emailing you a few websites to check out.-Steve_

_-Thanks I owe you both.-Bucky_

_\--No, hope to see you soon.-Steve_

_\--You will, I'm sure.-Bucky_

James entered the lab and as Mae turned he reached out to pull her in close against him, the began a slow waltz, spinning with each other. The look of pure joy in her face made his smile widely. She brought a sense of love and peace he hadn't felt in a long time.

“Hello beautiful.” James said with a smile. He leaned down to press a warm kiss on her full lips.

“Good morning handsome.” Mae replied. She worked her fingers through his hair as she deepened their kiss. “We will be landing soon, Wanda's already there.”

“Good to know, she's a good kid, she's seen more than her share of pain and loss.” James stated.

“I invited her to join us for Christmas, the holidays can be tough.” Mae said with a small smile. “I invited the whole team, and baring an international incident they will be joining us, or we will be joining them.”

“That's great to hear, you're a damn fine woman and I'm lucky to call you mine.” James said. He watched as her face lit up, he couldn't imagine life without her. He heard his phone beep alerting him to begin the landing sequence. “Well we better head to the cockpit so we can land.”

“That was quick.” Mae said. She was busy on her phone, her brows furrowed slightly but she wore a smile on her face.

They landed on top of the compound they would be working out of, he could see a few people waiting on the landing pad. He recognized Wanda and he saw that she had a few children with her. Mae held his hand tightly as the exited the helo.

“Wanda!” Mae exclaimed as she hugged the younger woman. “And who are all of you?”

“They are orphans, they were looking for work, and I hired them.” Wanda said with a soft smile. “There are now many orphans in the area, some live in the group homes but some remain on the street.”

“Well it's a pleasure to meet you three, I'm Mae and I'm glad you're here.” Mae said as she crouched down in front of them. There were two boys and a girl standing before her, they looked wary, but excited. “What are your names?”

“I'm Sylvie, that is Vincent and Viktor.” Sylvie said. Her voice was like a bell, bright and cheerful.

“It's a pleasure to meet you three, I'm glad to have such exceptional helpers.” Mae said gently.

“Who's the man behind you?” Vincent asked.

“This is James.” Mae held her hand out for James to take.

“Thank you for welcoming us into your country.” James said he tried to crouch down to their level, and they all stepped back away from him slightly.

“There's nothing to be afraid of, he's a good man, he was sent to us, to protect us.” Wanda said. She watched as Sylvie stood and reached up to touch his metal hand.

“That's shiny, it's like the star that used to be on our tree.” Sylvie said with a small smile.

“It is, I don't think it would look so great on top of a tree though.” James said with a smile. Sylvie laughed lightly before she gestured for James to pick her up. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her small body. She tucked herself under his chin before she looked up at him.

“You remind me of my papa.” Sylvie said. “He was tall and strong, they took him away though.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” James said. He felt the little girls arms tighten around his neck, the soldier tensed before he relaxed into the hug. He murmured to her softly, it reminded him of his sister Rebecca, she was always an affectionate child. He looked over at Mae, and saw that her eyes were shining slightly with tears.

“Well, shall we head indoors and check out our living accommodations?” Mae asked.

“Follow me, we already got the rooms set up.” Vincent said.

He had bright green eyes and brown hair, he was tall, but so thin. Mae followed him into the building, she remembered the blueprints that Tony had shown her. They headed into a central living room, she knew the kitchen was off to the side, they'd need to take an elevator down to the living quarters.

“Will you three be staying with us while we work?” Mae asked. She saw Vincent’s shoulders tighten slightly before he answered her.

“We don't have to, we live pretty close by.” Vincent said. “We won't be late either.”

“Would you like to stay with us? There's plenty of room.” Mae said. She watched as his emerald green eyes widened slightly. “You don't have to, you are welcome to make your own decisions about where you live. You're helping us out, so I thought I'd extend an invitation.”

“I'll discuss it with Sylvie and Viktor.” Vincent said with a smile.

“Are they your siblings?” Mae asked as the elevator descended to her floor.

“Sylvie is, we were in the same home, but we all left.” Vincent said.

“Well, after we get my stuff settled, why don't we pick your things up and you can stay here as long as you like.” Mae said. “If you choose to stay here, it's up to you three.”

“Thank you.” Vincent said. “My Da, he was a teacher before everything happened. My Ma, she was home with us when Ultron attacked. Neither of them made it.”

“You're a very brave young man.” Mae said. She reached out to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “How old are you three?”

“I'm 9, Viktor is 10, and Sylvie is 5. I know she's young, but she won't be in the way, we're all useful.” Vincent said.

“You don't have to have a use, you aren't a tool, you're a person.” Mae said. Her quarters that she assumed James would share with her were spacious but not as ostentatious as her quarters in Stark Tower. She had three bedrooms including the master bedroom. There were three bathrooms, and a good sized living room and small kitchenette. “What kind of things do you enjoy?”

“I wanted to be a doctor.” Vincent said. “Ma was a nurse, she tried showing me some basic first aid.”

“Well if you'd like, you can start learning the basics of medicine.” Mae said. “Are you three in school?”

“No, I mean I try and teach them the stuff my Da was teaching me, but I don't remember it all.” Vincent said, a light blush touched his cheeks. He jumped slightly when the door opened and James piled into the room with Sylvie.

“Why don't you two head upstairs while we unpack, I'll fix something for lunch after we unpack. If you're hungry go find something light to snack on okay?” Mae said. She watched as the children left. “James, did you know that we were going to have helpers here?”

“Nope, first time I heard anything about it was when we were introduced.” James said. “I think wherever they were, they were abused or neglected. Sylvie wouldn't say, but she was clinging pretty tightly against me.”

“Vincent didn't say much, just that they left together. I offered room and board, I don't know where they were living, but I thought it would be good to give them a home.” Mae said.

“Did you want kids?” James asked. _**You dreamed of finding someone, starting a family, maybe even having a dog.**_ _I did, now? Men like us don't get that type of ending._ _ **Maybe.**_

“I did, I've always loved children. They have an honesty about them, their views of the world can be so unique.” Mae said with a sad smile. “What about you?”

“Before, yeah I did. Always figured I'd settle down after the war.” James said with a wistful smile. “Don't think I'd ever get that now.”

“Why?” Mae asked.

“With all that I've done, I never thought I'd deserve it.” James said softly.

“Oh James.” Mae said as she hugged him. “You're a good man, don't doubt that.”

“You make me want to believe I could have that, maybe one day.” James said. _When the blood is cleansed from my body, from my soul._

“You can have that still James, you're a young man.” Mae said softly. She leaned against him, she felt him relax against her before she felt his fingers run through her hair.

“Would you want that?” James asked. _With me?_

“With you? Yes.” Mae said.

“Do you really mean that?” James asked. _Please tell me you do._ “моя маленькая звезда, вы действительно имели в виду, что?” {My little star, you really mean that?}

“I really do, I can see that for us.” Mae said.

“ты мое искупление. ты моя душа, моя путеводная звезда.” James said. {You are my redemption, you are my soul, my guiding light.}

“I love you too.” Mae said. She kissed his shoulder before looking up into his eyes, the depth of emotion she saw in those deep blue eyes made her heart clench. “We should probably unpack some of our things, I did promise to make lunch.”

“Thank you.” James said.

“For what?” Mae asked.

“For believing that I could have that, a family.” James stated.

“Do you not think you can?” Mae asked.

“Honestly, some days I can envision being with you, married with kids. Other days, I reflect on what I've done, and I know I don't deserve that. Monsters don't get the happy ending.” James said.

“If I ever hear you call yourself a monster you will not enjoy that conversation James. You have never been or ever will be a monster. You're loyal, steadfast and kind. You can chose whatever future you want, until you have faith in yourself I'll remind you that I have enough faith for both of us.” Mae said. She tilted his chin up until his eyes met hers. “Do you understand?”

“I do, don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'll never let you go.” James said soundly.

“You're a good man, I am increasingly proud of you every day.” Mae said. She pulled away and began unloading their clothes while James worked on their toiletries. She replayed the conversation she had with him, and wondered when he was going to have faith in himself. _Maybe this is the change he needs to see that he can be whomever he wants to be._

* * *

 

“Viktor!” Sylvie exclaimed.

“What?” Viktor asked.

“Mae said she was making us lunch.” Sylvie said.

“I know.” Viktor replied.

“She asked if we wanted to live here.” Vincent said. “What do you think?”

“Why would she want us here?” Viktor asked.

“She said if we were working with her then maybe we should live here too.” Vincent said.

“I want to stay. They remind me of Mama and Papa.” Sylvie said. She watched as her brothers held a silent conversation before they looked at her.

“Viktor?” Vincent asked. “What do you think?”

“Do you think they're different?” Viktor asked.

“I think they are, she asked if we were in school, and she said she could help me learn.” Vincent stated.

“I don't want them to hurt us.” Viktor said. “No more testing.”

“They won't!” Sylvie exclaimed. “Wanda said that they are here to help Sokovia, they want to build homes and help sick people.”

“We can always leave again if we don't like it.” Vincent said. “I don't want to leave, we haven't had a home, a real one for years.”

“Then we stay until we have a reason to go.” Viktor said.

He rubbed his arm where the brand was, he and the other children that lived in the group home had been picked by a group of scientists to potentially 'work' for them, the brand signified that they were acolytes. It also meant that they were more like property than living beings, when they saw the opportunity to run they did. They had lied and told Wanda that they were simply street children, they weren't sure if she believed them, but she had been kind. She reminded him of his sister Esme, she had been full of light and kindness. He hadn't seen her for years now, she disappeared one night and he hadn't seen her since. He knew that Sylvie needed parents, more than he did, but he wasn't going to stay if they were treated poorly. The thought of having a warm place to sleep and food to eat made him wary. Whenever someone promised something that was thought of as unattainable, it usually meant that he was going to have to sacrifice something else to keep those luxuries. He heard footsteps and quiet laughter before he saw Mae and James standing before them. The man, James he was tall and very broad, he cut an imposing figure and he stood stiffly, as if he was scanning for threats. His eyes softened when he saw Sylvie, the little girl had wormed her way into his heart, she often did that to strangers. Sylvie ran towards James and gestured to be picked up again, James opened his arms and crouched down so she could be picked up, he watched as James began dancing around with her gently. The sound of Sylvie's giggle reminded him of a small bell tinkling, her eyes shone with pure happiness. He watched as Vincent calculated and watched both adults before he made eye contact with him, they nodded at each other before they moved towards Mae.

“Do you need any help?” Viktor asked.

“Perhaps, I don't know what we have on hand, is there something you'd like to eat?” Mae asked gently. Viktor was more standoffish than the other two children, it was clear that he had been mistreated.

“We're fine with whatever, we aren't picky.” Viktor stated.

“Alright, well since it's lunch are sandwiches okay?” Mae asked. “It looks like we have roast chicken, maple glazed turkey breast, some roast beef?”

“Roast BEAST!” Sylvie yelled while James continued to spin her around. “Like in the story!”

“Well that's one for roast beast, anyone else have preferences?” Mae asked.

“Chicken for me please.” Wanda said with a smile. She was using her gifts to pull out cutting boards, plates and condiments.

“Wanda, how have you been?” Mae asked as they worked on making a stack of sandwiches.

“A little lonely, things are still fairly tense.” Wanda said. “I broke up with Vision.”

“I'm sorry to hear that sweetheart.” Mae said.

“I'm not, he didn't protest me being locked away.” Wanda said angrily. “I understand that he is logical, but he said that my actions regardless of how altruistic they were, landed me in prison. He knew they were basically torturing me.”

“I am very sorry to hear that, hopefully this will give you a chance to just be yourself.” Mae said. “Plus it's your home turf and I could use the help.”

“Not really you don't, but I appreciate it.” Wanda said with a small smile. She watched as all three children interacted with James, Sylvie was the most friendly of the three, Wanda knew that the kids had been through a lot. Vincent was interacting with his sister and by proxy James, Viktor was still wary and chose to observe and casually laugh. “They are good kids, I did read them, and they have been through a lot. Sylvie seems very attached to James, it's nice to see him just relax he deserves that.”

“He really does, he's so compassionate. I have seen Viktor rub his arm, is he injured?” Mae asked.

“I don't think he has a recent physical injury, but mentally he has been injured.” Wanda said sadly. “Pietro and I volunteered, those three did not.”

“Were they experimented on?” Mae asked. She watched as all three children continued to play with James, the idea that those children had been used in illegal experimentation angered her, she could feel her anger grow until she felt herself begin shaking.

“I do not know, they show signs of abuse and neglect.” Wanda said.

“If I find those responsible I will not be held responsible for my actions.” Mae said. She looked over at James and her anger dissipated, he looked so happy to have the three kids surrounding him. “I'll be right back I have to call Tony.”

“I'll finish getting these ready and set them out.” Wanda said.

* * *

 

“ _Tony?” Mae asked._

“ _Why hello nurse!” Tony said. “I know you're a doctor, what's shaking?”_

“ _We may have added a few to our numbers.” Mae said._

“ _Three kids right?” Tony asked._

“ _Yes, do you have any information on their back grounds?” Mae asked._

“ _Not a whole lot, not like they were of the digital age. Orphans, runaway orphans, I don't know what else, no information on their parents.” Tony said. “Why?”_

“ _They act abused, or at least they expect to be abused.” Mae said. “If I ever meet the people that hurt those children, I'm going to destroy them.”_

“ _Fire and Brimstone, let's get all medieval on their asses!” Tony exclaimed. “Oh so Christmas...are we coming there?”_

“ _We who?” Mae asked._

“ _Me, Rhodey, Steve, Darcy?” Tony asked._

“ _Sure, more the merrier.” Mae said._

“ _Good cause, well we are kind of on the way, with gifts, a tree and all that stuff.” Tony said._

“ _Tony, you're on your way here?” Mae asked calmly._

“ _Yep, should be there by dinner time, which I brought with me.” Tony stated. “Christmas is like in two days.”_

“ _Mother fracking son of a nutcracker!” Mae exclaimed._

“ _Use your big girl words, you forgot didn't you.” Tony said._

“ _Yes, I was so worried about working on getting everything squared away, and I just forgot.” Mae said._

“ _Well not to worry, Santa Tony is bringing everything to make your life merry and bright.” Tony said. “I'll see what I can dig up about the kids, you're already very attached aren't you.”_

“ _I can't help it, they're wonderful. They have so much potential to just be happy and be kids, and to see that lost innocence in their eyes, it kills me. James is smiling and laughing, like full belly laughing, I haven't seen him so carefree ever.” Mae said softly._

“ _Ovary explosion.” Tony said. “You really would be a fantastic mother.”_

“ _Tony.” Mae said._

“ _Not saying you have to push for it, but you're a naturally loving and kind woman. You mothered me for a long time, let me help you.” Tony said._

“ _I appreciate your grand gestures, should I go get your rooms set up?” Mae asked._

“ _Already done, go enjoy lunch and don't spoil my grand entrance.” Tony said._

“ _Alright Tony, see you soon.” Mae said._

“ _Tony out!” Tony said before he hung up the phone._

* * *

 

Mae sat quietly on the balcony while she watched the clouds swirl in the sky. Tony made a few really good points, how could she forget Christmas? _Make sure presents are set aside for the kids, they probably haven't had a good Christmas in years._ She had already ordered new bedding, and some clothes for them, she also ordered a few tablets so they could continue their education if they wished. She felt a soft touch on her hand and saw that Vincent stood next to her. He looked concerned.

“Mae?” Vincent asked. “Is everything okay? We don't have to stay for lunch, I'm sorry we didn't help.”

“Oh sweetie, you don't have to apologize, we handled lunch and it was nice of you to play with James. He needs to smile more, he doesn't look so gruff.” Mae said. She felt him lace his fingers with hers before he returned her smile. “Everything will be fine, did you three decide to stay?”

“We talked it over and we decided to stay.” Vincent said, he dropped his gaze from hers and the silent _for now_ was left off his statement.

“You three are welcome to stay as long as you wish. You wouldn't owe anything.” Mae said. She unlaced their fingers before she cautiously wrapped her arm carefully around his shoulders and hugged him. She was surprised when he turned and wrapped his thin arms around her waist. She felt his body relax against hers, and he tightened his grip on her. _When's the last time this child was hugged?_ “It's okay Vincent, everything will be okay. I promise, I won't let anyone hurt you.”

James looked over towards where Mae and Vincent stood, he saw them hugging and he could see the kindness pouring off of Mae. _She really would make a wonderful Mother, she's naturally compassionate and loving._ _ **She's also a strong woman, she will want to keep them.**_ _How do you know that?_ _ **She hasn't given up on us, look at how she instinctively protects him while she comforts him. She won't give them up.**_ _I suppose you're right, she's the real deal._ _ **Sylvie already has you wrapped around her finger.**_ _That she does, I always wanted a little girl._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to you all! I hope that you felt loved, and cared about, and if no one told you that I do care about you and adore you. Thank you all for making my holiday's a happier time! <3
> 
> I do hope you enjoyed this chapter it was a lot of fun to write. I always appreciate the comments and the kudos. I wish you all the absolute best, and don't worry the next section of this work will be completed this week. Evidently when you bake 9 loaves of bread and over 150 cookies and make a 13x9 pan of reese's bars it tires you out. 
> 
> Be safe out there, and Merry Christmas!! <3  
> TIme for me to go put the presents under the tree.


	17. All the Right Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rocking around the Christmas tree!! Decorating is always fun right??  
> Loads of fluff in this chapter, but there will be a bit of a twist at the end, no worries!!

Do you think I'm special, do you think I'm nice?  
Am I bright enough to shine in your spaces?  
Between the noise you hear and the sound you like  
Are we just sinking in the ocean of faces?

I'll be the King of Hearts, you be the Queen of Spades, and we'll fight for you like soldiers.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrOeGCJdZe4>

Mae sat in the living room on her computer, she was searching for things for the children, and her friends. She already knew what she was going to give James for Christmas, she had his dog tags remade and put on a stronger chain. She included one for the Soldier part of him as well, she had them stamped in Russian and hoped he'd wear them. She had ordered him new tactical gear as well, he would need clothes for all seasons as well. She also found some books that he would enjoy, mostly science fiction, and a few records that he would have grown up listening to. The biggest thing she had found, were a custom pair of holsters that would hold his weapons magnetically. King T'Challa had helped her craft them, they were added to the growing pile of tactical equipment, the King had taken pleasure in creating more effective bullet proof materials. He said that sometimes the best gift is stepping away from the crown to help create things to protect those he cared about, she had traded off a few cases of the contact points she had created and a few other medical supplies, some of the nano particles had gone to helping some of the Wakandan's that had aided them while they stayed there.

She made sure to look for not only clothes and person items for each child, but some fun things that they could work on and play with. Sylvie had expressed her interest in cooking, so Mae ordered her a smaller kitchen for her to learn on, along with a breakfast nook to practice having tea parties at. She ordered Vincent some beginners chemistry sets, and a few books that would teach him more in depth about medicine. She found her first doctors bag, a leather bag that had the medical symbol on it and made sure to order him a stethoscope, a digital thermometer, and a few other tools as well. She knew that Tony was going to have tablets for each of the children and music players so they were covered with electronics. Viktor was harder to buy for, he was quiet and withdrawn compared to the other two children. He hadn't expressed to many interests outside of baseball, so she ordered him new baseball clothes and a new glove, and bat. James had helped her pick out a few things that he assured he Viktor would need if he really wanted to learn how to play. Viktor was curled up on the couch reading the first Harry Potter book, he was an avid reader and was astonished that the library on had was filled with books he could read whenever he wanted. Mae had slowly been setting up a room for the boys and one for Sylvie. Steve had promised to paint the walls in accordance to what the children preferred, he even cajoled James into helping him. Mae ordered enough supplies to fully paint the other two bed rooms in their suite, she had ordered a small chandelier for Sylvie's room, and a few ornate looking throw rugs to give the room some personality. James had helped her pick out most of it, he had a huge soft spot for the little girl. She had him wrapped around her little fingers faster than she thought possible.

“Mae?” Sylvie asked.

“Yes sweetheart, what do you need?” Mae asked softly.

“Are we going to put up a tree?” Sylvie asked. The bright joy of the idea of Christmas shone in her bright green eyes.

“I think we should probably decorate, did you want to help us find the perfect tree?” Mae asked.

“Can we?!” Sylvie asked.

“I think we could absolutely do that, we should have a load of ornaments and lights arriving today, but I thought we could find a tree together.” Mae said. “Let's go find your brothers, and find Wanda and James and we can go after lunch.”

“I'll find them!” Sylvie said as she tore through the complex looking for her brothers.

She chattered to Vikor who smiled at her and went to get dressed. Mae had made sure that the children would have warm winter coats, hats and gloves, she pulled them out and sat them on the couch. She turned the oven on and stuffed a few casseroles into it before she went in search of James. She figured that he was in their bedroom, he had a few headaches since they landed, and he would usually try and distance himself from noise and light. She had sent Wanda a message and the younger woman sounded excited. She already printed a few traditional Sokovian recipes out to make for the holidays.

She saw James passed out on their bed, he had a pair of sweatpants on, and he was clutching her pillow tightly in his arms. She sat down next to him and ran her hand through his hair and across his broad back, she pressed a soft kiss between his shoulder blades. He had begun stirring and when she pulled away he pulled her in against him, and buried his lips against her neck. He pressed his lips against the smooth column of her throat before he said anything.

“How long was I asleep?” James asked. His voice was husky with sleep, and it rumbled through his chest.

“Probably only a couple hours, I ordered everything for Christmas, I thought the kids would enjoy picking out a tree.” Mae said. She felt him grin against her neck, before he playfully nipped her neck.

“Haven't done that in years, sounds fun.” James said. His fingers found their way under her shirt, he swiftly unsnapped her bra before he began teasing her sensitive nipples. “How much time do we have?”

“Before a search party finds us undressed?” Mae asked. She moaned his name has his fingers traced a path down to where her pants were buttoned. He quickly popped the button and began sliding them down her legs. “Let me send Wanda a message and see if she'll feed them.”

“Fine take all my fun.” James said as he grinned. Mae was half undressed, he watched as she sent out a message and waited for a reply.

“They are being fed now, so we have a little time before we have to be presentable.” Mae said. She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed her bra behind her. She dropped her pants before she joined him in bed. She straddled his lap and kissed him deeply, she moved her hips against his lap, and felt him thrust up against her. “You're over dressed Sergeant.”

“Well I wouldn't wanna disappoint ya doll.” James said with that jaunty smirk. He pulled off his pants before he reached down and pulled her panties from her body. “You're so damn beautiful.”

“You look like you're carved from marble, strong, healthy.” Mae said.

She felt his hands work her body over, tracing every curve and contour her body possessed. She pulled him down on top of her and felt his broad body slot against her. She reached down and began slowly stroking him, flicking her wrist so her hand twisted on the up stroke. He shuddered above her, and he moaned her name. His hands began slowly teasing her body, it felt like every nerve ending was firing all at once. He reached down and felt her, she was already soaking wet, and he slipped a finger inside of her, slowly teasing her entrance. **_She's always so ready for us, soaking wet, tight, and hot._** _She's perfect, a taste of Heaven._ ** _Need to be in her._**

“Are you sure?” James asked. He looked at her, her hair was fanned out across their pillows, her eyes were blown with lust.

“I need you.” Mae said. His blue in his eyes were halo's, his pupils were dilated and shone with a fierce possession. She felt him nudge against her, before he began slipping into her.

“Fuck, you're always so tight.” James said. “Not hurtin' you am I?”

“God no, please I want every inch of you buried in me.” Mae said, she wrapped her leg around his waist and she pulled him into her faster. When he was fully seated in her, he leaned down to kiss her passionately.

“Never wanna be too rough.” James said as he cradled her in his arms. “You're delicate and I don' wanna hurt you.”

“While I appreciate that, you can man handle me in bed, I won't complain.” Mae said with a smile. She pulled herself up so she was sitting in his lap, and proceeded to show him that she could take what he was willing to dish out. She watched his amused expression before she leaned forward to whisper something to him. “I just wanna ride you like the pony I never got for Christmas.”

With that they both increased their tempo, she could feel that slow build, that electrical pulse that started at the base of her spine and quickly exploded outwards to her limbs. She felt boneless for a moment, she felt James cradle her body against him as he sped up the pace.

“Are you close?” Mae asked, she looked into his eyes and she felt like she was drowning in the depths of his very soul.

“Very.” James grunted out, he held her tightly against his chest, her arms were wrapped around his neck and his bionic hand gripped her hip. She kissed his throat, her teeth grazed his pulse point, she felt his bionic fingers grip her hip tighter before he flipped her over and pulled her back against his chest. He worked his way up and down her throat with his lips and teeth, not biting hard enough to leave substantial bruising, but enough to make her moan. His arm was wrapped under her breasts, he gripped her tightly as he put them both through a hard and fast pace. He felt his own orgasm build, he reached down with his flesh hand and began rubbing her clit in soft circles, he felt her tighten around him. Her hips bucked once, twice before he felt her clench tightly around him, **_let go._** He finished with her, pouring himself into her, he cradled her gently in his arms as their heart beats slowed. “I really do love you.”

“I never doubted that you did James, I love you too.” Mae said. She waited for him to shift before she leaned up to kiss his lips. She traced his eye brows with her fingertips before she cupped his cheeks in her hands. “I love you, all of you.”

“Couldn't ask for more.” James said.

“Wanda messaged me, the natives are restless.” Mae said. She quickly went to the bathroom and cleaned herself up. She watched as James watched her get dressed, he looked like he was worried about something.

“We've had sex a few times.” James said as he pulled on a pair of jeans.

“Yes we have.” Mae said, the tone of her voice was confused.

“We haven't used any form of protection, and I've finished in you each time.” James said. He traced his hand across her stomach, as if he was imagining her swollen with his child. He met her eyes and watched as they twinkled with happiness.

“Well, I am on birth control. Sometimes I forget that you missed decades of things that I probably take for granted.” Mae said.

“Yeah, but I didn't feel anything.” James said.

“You shouldn't, it isn't like a diaphragm that you may have encountered before. I take a pill once a day that protects me from pregnancy.” Mae said.

“One pill and you're protected?” James asked _._ _Wish they'd had that back in the day, would have made it a little easier._

“Yes indeed, medicine has changed quite a bit. I knew you were clean though, and so am I, I didn't worry about needing a back up method of contraception.” Mae said as she finished getting dressed.

“Is this common?” James asked.

“It's readily available, and at least for me, I don't see the need for back up birth control if I'm in a committed relationship.” Mae said.

“I'm not complaining, it's just, well amazing to be honest. The condoms we had were thick rubber that smelled horrible and left you unable to really feel everything.” James stated.

“I understand, you should have seen Steve's reaction when Darcy explained all of this. I didn't think a man could turn that red, it was absolutely hilarious.” Mae said. “He also went on and on about how thin condoms were now a days.”

“Is it reversible?” James asked.

“Birth control? Yes, mine is, if I stop taking the pill I can get pregnant.” Mae stated.

“Why don't you have kids?” James asked. He watched as her face went from cheerful to cautiously blank. “I'm sorry that isn't something you have to answer.”

“No, that's alright. We didn't make time, we had a couple scares and we thought we would start trying after I moved to Manhattan.” Mae said.

“You wanted kids, together.” James said. _And we took that from her, another sin._ It was easy to love her, it was easy to forget that she was married before he met her, he took her husband and the chance for the two of them to have children together.

“James, that might have been what I wanted back then, but now? I still want children, I have always loved how bright they are. You didn't take anything from me, Hydra did.” Mae said. She held his hand tightly and tried to catch his gaze. “Please stop blaming yourself for what they did.”

“But in the end, I still did it. It was my body that carried out those attacks.” James said. His eyes were like chips of ice, not the deep blue she associated with him.

“It wasn't you James, and I'll keep reminding you of that.” Mae said. She slipped a leather jacket on and grabbed her purse by their door.

“Maybe you should just go with them, I'll stay here and get caught up on my work.” James said. He refused to meet her eyes, he felt her hand on his cheek. He brushed her aside and made his way into the living room. He had pulled on a long sleeve henley and he stood at the windows over looking Sokovia.

“I think we'd all like your help picking out our tree, it's a family affair.” Mae said. She tried being patient with him, but it was difficult trying to pull the demons from him.

“Just go ahead and I'll see you when you get home.” James said resolutely. He heard the door shut quietly behind him and he sighed. **_You're a coward. So we'll stay here while she spends time as a family with the kids and Wanda?_** _Not hiding, just thinking, we took everything from her._ ** _And we're experiencing everything with her, you act like Sylvie is yours. You'll push her away, she was almost in tears as she left._** _Well now I really feel like an asshole._ ** _Just pull your head outta your ass, she's our fresh start, no sense in living in the past._** _You don't feel remorse?_ ** _I don't like you do, I regret causing her pain, but I won't let it corner me. If you hurry you could catch them before they leave._** _Fine, I'm out numbered._ James pulled on his boots before he grabbed a leather jacket from their closet. As he headed upstairs he could hear Mae explaining that James wasn't going to be able to join them.

“It's not that he doesn't want to be there, he isn't feeling well. He was sick when we met, and he's still getting over the headaches he has.” Mae said.

“Is it because of us?” Sylvie asked quietly.

“No sweetie, it's no one's fault, he gets headaches sometimes that's all.” Mae said as she hugged the little girl in front of her.

“We can help carry the tree.” Viktor said.

“Why don't the three of us strong men, carry the tree?” James asked. He watched as the kids quickly ran over to him and began asking him if he felt better. Sylvie looked ecstatic, she held her hands up impatiently waiting for him to swoop down and pick her up. He wrapped his strong arms around her smaller body before he whispered to her. “Pasăre mică, ești gata să găsiți copac perfectă?”{Little bird are you ready to find the perfect tree?}

“Putem să stea o stea pe partea de sus a arborelui.” Sylvie said with a happy smile. {we can hang a star on top of the tree}

“I didn't know you spoke the language here.” Wanda said.

“I learned it, I lived in Bucharest for a couple years and learned it there.” James said. “Alright boys, everyone ready to head out?”

“I am! How big of a tree are we going to get?” Vincent asked.

“The ceilings here are tall, we could get a bigger tree.” James said as he studied the space they had to work with. “Why don't you get ready in the car, we'll be down in a moment.”

“I'm sorry if I pushed you James.” Mae said softly.

“No, it wasn't you, my guilt consumes me sometimes.” James said. “I know that I can be difficult, so thank you for watching over me.”

“You're not difficult, you've lived a long life, and it wasn't always a happy one.” Mae said, she pulled him close to her before she reached up to press a gentle kiss on his lips. “I'm not going to leave you, you have me for as long as you want me.”

“I can't see myself wanting anyone else, thank you for being patient.” James said. “We should head down there.”

“Well get your hat and mittens, wouldn't want you to freeze.” Mae said as she slipped a pair of gloves on her hands.

“Are you sure this tree will fit?” Viktor asked.

“Pretty sure it will.” Vincent said.

“Are you really sure?” Viktor asked again.

“It will fit.” James said. Sylvie was still perched on his shoulders. “What do you think?”

“I think it's the perfect tree, do we have a star?” Sylvie asked.

“I'm sure Mae has a star for the tree, that woman thinks of everything.” James said proudly.

“Are you married?” Sylvie asked.

“No, we uh, we aren't married.” James asked.

“Oh, I thought when two adults were living together they were married.” Sylvie said.

“Sylvie, not everyone gets married just because they're together.” Viktor said.

“It's okay, she didn't know.” James said with a smirk. “Just haven't asked her yet.”

“Are you going to ask her?” Vincent asked.

“Eventually I would like to ask her, she's a good woman.” James said.

“Do you love her?” Sylvie asked, her eyes were innocent, but they held a glint in them that spelled mischief.

“We love each other.” James said with a smile.

“That's good.” Sylvie said.

“So is this the tree?” Wanda asked.

“This is the tree.” James said. “Where's Mae?”

“She's acquiring the supplies to bundle the tree up.” Wanda answered.

“Thank you for covering for us earlier.” James said.

“I understand needing time alone, I think of her much like I would a sister.” Wanda explained. “You know I can move things with my mind.”

“I remember, you saved me at the airport.” James said.

“If you break that woman's heart, I'll break your legs.” Wanda said softly, her smile was genuine, but her tone was serious. “I can see how much you care for her, but don't shut her out, you know that some wounds can't be treated with medicine and technology alone.”

“I do understand that, and I will do my best to keep her heart whole.” James said. “She's more than I deserve.”

“I wouldn't say that, you didn't sign up to work for them, I did and that's a guilt I'll carry forever.” Wanda stated.

“You're a good kid with a big heart, take it from me, don't let your guilt control you.” James said. He watched as Mae hauled the supplies to wrap the tree. They got the tree wrapped up, and laughed as they tied it to the top of the vehicle. Sylvie was rubbing her eyes, and she soon fell asleep in the SUV. Mae sat next to James with Sylvie cradled between them, Wanda elected to drive since she knew Sokovia so well. James had his arm wrapped around Sylvie and Mae, he could hear the boys quietly discussing the best way to dress a tree, it seemed as though neither of them had decorated for Christmas in a few years. When they arrived at their compound James saw that a shipment had arrived and he made sure to grab the manifest so he could look it over before it was accepted. He saw that Mae was carrying a sleeping Sylvie, and he leaned down to take her from Mae.

“I'll go put her down for a nap, she looks fairly worn out.” James said. “I'll get the tree afterwords, would you please check the shipping manifest?”

“I can look it over, Wanda already scanned it to make sure it was clear, and it is.” Mae said. She watched as Sylvie's mouth opened in a yawn, she curled up tighter against James. “Get her to bed, I'll see you soon.”

“What are we having for dinner?” Wanda asked.

“Chicken paprikash? I haven't made it in a while, I have some gnocchi to serve it over. I don't have the time to make spaetzle, so I thought gnocchi would work in a pinch.” Mae said.

“I remember that Vis tried to make it, whatever he used was not paprika.” Wanda said, a sad smile ghosted over her features.

“How are you really doing?” Mae asked.

“I will be fine, this gives me a purpose, and I don't think Vis and I would have lasted.” Wanda said.

“My door is always open.” Mae said.

“I know, I threatened your boyfriend. He took it in stride, I think he's good for you. He is more human, and you are more relaxed, love looks good on you.” Wanda stated. “The children are very attached to you.”

“I'm as attached as they are.” Mae said. “What did you threaten him with?”

“If he breaks you heart, I will break his legs.” Wanda said with a smile. She began checking things off the shipping manifest. “I think these are all things for Christmas.”

“Half this stuff I ordered this morning, ah Darcy that explains it.” Mae said. “The boxes with the red labels are for Christmas decorations, the green labels are my personal items for Christmas. Looks like you ordered a few things as well.”

“I will start hanging the garland and lights.” Wanda said, she worked her fingers across the tops of the boxes and they popped open.

Mae sat transfixed as Wanda wove her magic, the tendrils that escaped her fingers looked like silk. They carefully wrapped along the garland effectively twisting it with lights, it was like watching a concert pianist give their final performance, the red energy swirled and danced through the air as Wanda wove it together to create elegantly done decorations. The utter joy in Wanda's eyes was beautiful, Mae took a few photos and watched as Viktor and Vincent sat slack jawed as they watched Wanda weave her magic. They began tossing her various ornaments that would hang from the garland, she would nod and they would toss the bright glass ornaments into the air before she attached them to the strings of lights. The quite laughter of the children added to the overall ambiance of their living room. Mae finished getting the tree stand set up, she knew they'd probably decorate the tree tonight after dinner. She found a white and silver tree skirt with reindeer embroidered on the border.

“She's down for the count, I left her a note, I promised we wouldn't decorate the tree without her.” James said.

“Tony will be landing soon.” Mae said. “They're spending Christmas here with us.”

“Full house.” James said. “It'll be nice to see everyone.”

“I agree, the kids seem to be happy.” Mae said.

“I hope that they are able to relax for Christmas.” James said. “I 'member one year for Christmas, we were young and my Ma bought us each an orange, pretty rare treat for us and I savored every slice.”

“We did the same thing, we all ate an orange before we were allowed to open any gifts. It was something my grandparents started, and we carried their tradition on throughout my childhood.” Mae said.

“You don't talk 'bout your family much.” James said.

“I don't have a whole lot to say about them, they weren't who I thought they were.” Mae said.

“What do you mean?” James asked.

“I went into medicine to help others, they were in the same field, but they weren't working to help others.” Mae said. “They may have started out very altruistic, but greed became a factor as well.”

“Who did they work for?” James asked.

“They worked for Stark, but they became swayed under Stane. They were working for Hydra in the end, they tried recruiting me for their projects, but I wasn't interested in working with them. When it came to light that they were Hydra and were trying to use me to further themselves, I cut all ties with them. One of the bases that the Avengers took out was theirs. They killed their test subjects, deleted and burned all their work and then both died of exsanguination.” Mae said. She met James' eyes, and when she tried to touch him he pulled away.

“You knew they were Hydra?” James asked, his face was a mask of stock stone.

“I found out when the files were released, but I knew they were most likely doing something covert because they couldn't tell me who they were working for. They tried to say that it was a private government contract and maybe it was, but I didn't trust their word either.” Mae said.

“Were they working on a serum?” James asked.

“They worked on technology that was used on you.” Mae said.

“You knew and you're just now deciding to talk to me about it?” Jams asked.

“Their work, when I found out what they were doing, I immediately tried to work out a way to help those that they hurt.” Mae said. “It was my choice not to tell you about them.”

“You've been lying about who you are.” James stated coldly. “A lie by omission, is still a lie.”

“I apologize that you feel like I've betrayed your trust, we've never discussed our backgrounds, not fully.” Mae said. “I do not appreciate being compared to them, or even lumped into the same category.”

“I think you've earned losing some of my trust, they were the bastards that turned my mind into swiss cheese.” James said. He was pacing back and forth in front of her, he glared at her, he was ready to begin screaming at her. **_Have we told her everything? She wasn't Hydra, she only found out after the fact._** _Why hide that though? Our lives are on full display, for anyone to read and to pick a part._ ** _But her life, everything was ripped out from under her, her family dead, her husband dead and what's she left with?_** _Without people like her, the doctors and engineers we would've died like we should have decades ago._ ** _And that's what you want?_** _…......sometimes yes I wish that we would've died in the Alps._ ** _Don't do this, please._** “I gotta go, I can't be here.” the 'with you', was left off but implied.

“I understand, I'm sorry James, my past doesn't define who I am.” Mae said.

“And my past was all I had.” James said.

“But it isn't all you have now.” Mae said.

“I'll be back later, I need to think about this.” James said. “I understand wanting to escape your past, but I wish you had been more honest.”

“I truly am sorry James.” Mae said.

“I know.” James said. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before he left.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for bearing with me, I know the updates don't come out as quickly as I would like, so thank you for being patient. There will be a real Christmas chapter up next I couldn't resist. I swear I can't write small little chapters, I end up going into more detail than I originally planned.
> 
> Thank you for the comments, kudos and everything really it is appreciated greatly <3 hope you all have a fun and safe New Years! Update will follow the next week xoxo


	18. Adetes Fideles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay like I said have not forgotten about this, I needed to take some time to unwind from the insanity that were the holidays, with them being well over I am back to writing. The whole Christmas stuff will be over the next few chapters because, let's face it, it takes more than a chapter to really write so I'm sorry about this lasting forever and year. 
> 
> The team flies in to celebrate the holidays, loads of fluff incoming!! All the fluff <3

[Adetes Fideles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbV3CrQ6Sa0)

Mae sat next to Wanda while she watched the children paint the windows with festive scenes. Sylvie was working on creating a snowman sledding down a hill, Viktor was painting a nativity scene, and Vincent was painting a tree decorated brightly. Darcy had sent window chalk to paint the windows, she also sent paint that would look like stained glass.

“When will James be back?” Wanda asked. She observed her friend, she saw a tightness around her eyes that belayed how stressed she must be feeling.

“I'm not sure, he's pretty steamed right now.” Mae said with a sad smile.

“He will come to terms with it.” Wanda said. “Truly, he loves you.”

“Forgiveness is something I'll hope for.” Mae said. “I didn't tell him, not to hide the fact that my parents were horrible people, but simply because it isn't something I want to think about.”

“That is understandable, I see both of your perspectives.” Wanda said. “He's hurt, Hydra took everything about him and turned him into something twisted and dark.”

“I know, and I do feel guilty for not telling him. I wasn't sure how to bring it up.” Mae said. “Not so easy to say, 'hey just so you know, my parents were Hydra scientists that helped keep your brain in a constant state of turmoil.' oh and would you please help me unpack the rest of our things?”

“Well, that may not have been the best way to do it, but it's a start.” Wanda said with a small smile.

“I'm stealing a line from Darcy, I am officially tired of being an adult, you can now find me in my epic blanket fort with crayons, coloring books, snacks and Wifi.” Mae said.

“You do realize that I'd probably join you, right?” Wanda said with a laugh. “He'll get back and you'll talk about it. Communication is key, I believe that someone wise once told me that.”

“Using my words against me, sudden but inevitable betrayal.” Mae said as she smiled. “You can totally join me in my blanket fort.”

“We're making a blanket fort?” Vincent asked.

“Pretty sure we could.” Mae said with a smile.

“Really?” Viktor asked.

“You can do anything you can dream of, as long as you apply yourself and work hard.” Mae said with a smile. “Your paintings look great, I know everyone else will enjoy them as well.”

“Are you two going to paint too?” Sylvie asked.

“I suppose we could, let me make sure that everything is taken out for dinner.” Mae said. She walked over towards the kitchen and began pulling out ingredients to make paprikash, she pulled out some chicken and a pork tenderloin. She began dicing onions and green peppers, she looked up and saw that Wanda was tracing the outline of her work with a thick black paint. It helped make the stained glass look realistic. She was asking the children to help her paint the black lines on top of the outline she had already drawn. She could hear Sylvie laughing, the sound of tinkling bells, before she saw what Sylvie was laughing at. Both boys had various splatters of the different types of window paint across their faces in mock camouflage. She smiled and quickly took a few photos of them happy and laughing together. She added some butter to the four large pots and added the meat, and varied vegetables. She set them to simmer for an hour, that would give them plenty of time to finish decorating the living room.

“Okay, okay, Mae it's your turn to decorate a window.” Wanda said. “I think these three artists needs to get washed up.”

“I'm sorry, we didn't mean to make such a mess.” Vincent said solemnly.

“Vincent, it's just water soluble paint, I don't know a single person that paints who doesn't get messy. Wanda's just incredibly lucky, I don't see a spot on her in fact.” Mae said with a mischievous grin.

“Don't start something you can't finish.” Wanda said with a smirk. “Come on you three, let's get you cleaned up and ready for dinner.”

“I love all your art work, I'm very proud of you three.” Mae said with a warm smile. “Go shower, I'll see you three for supper.”

* * *

 

Mae began tracing out a pattern, she was trying to draw out Yggdrasil, she began shaping the branches to incorporate the various worlds within the vast branches. She had her headphones in as she finished painting the outlines, as she began shading in the various planets she felt a presence behind her. She turned and saw that James was standing behind her. His eyes met hers, and she felt a spark, she took out her headphones before she made her way towards him.

“I'm sorry James.” Mae said. He stood stock still in front of her, his face was a mask of cool indifference. “I apologize for not telling you about my parents, they aren't people that I am proud of, and I usually just try and forget that they're related to me. I hate what they chose to do, I hate that they used their intelligence to tear your mind apart, I hate they didn't see you or their other test subjects as human. I hate that they treated you so poorly, and most of all, I hate that I wasn't brave enough to tell you that they helped destroy a good man with their evil intentions.”

They stood staring at each other, she watched as James slowly relaxed before she reached out to touch his arm. He pulled her against him and tucked her against his broad chest.

“Thank you. I'm sorry that I stormed off earlier.” James said. “Thought it best to cool off, 'fore I said something I'd regret.”

“You're welcome, and thank you for letting me tell you about them.” Mae said. “I'm not proud of them, and I'm sorry that I hid them from you.”

“Apology accepted. Nice art work.” James said with a small smile.

“We each took a window and painted what we wanted to. There's a window for you to decorate too, and the tree will be decorated after dinner.” Mae said with a smile.

“Sounds fun, what's for dinner?” James asked.

“Chicken and pork paprikash, mashed potatoes, and gravy.” Mae said as she continued to paint in the various colors for the different worlds.

“Well it smells amazing, do you think you made enough?” James teased. “Looks like you have enough for a small army.”

“Well two growing boys, and your appetite constitutes the need for an army's worth of food.” Mae said. She felt James wrap his arms around her. “You're very distracting.”

“Mission accomplished.” James said as he began placing soft, tender kisses along her neck. “I'm sorry that I stormed off, that wasn't very mature of me.”

“James, I do understand. You're human and entitled to your feelings.” Mae said.

“Still, wasn't very polite of me.” James stated. He began nibbling along her neck, nipping here and there.

“James.” Mae said while she smiled. “Behave, I'm almost done and then I promise I'll give you my full attention.”

“You make me sound like a misbehaving toddler.” James said.

“Well if the shoe fits.” Mae said with a laugh. “I'm kidding, but I really do need to finish this.”

“Fine take all my fun.” James said as he stepped away from her. “Stevie woulda loved doing this, he's an incredible artist. Used to save up his spare change to get art supplies when we could afford em.”

“I've seen some of his sketches, he calls them doodles, but my doodles never looked that realistic.” Mae said.

“Real talented, he shoulda been an artist, not a soldier.” James said, he smiled and looked wistful. “Tried to get him to stop enlisting, he was in college. Coulda gone far with his talent, but he wasn't happy just being himself. Sometimes I think life was easier before we left for war.”

“I can empathize with you, I'll never know what it feels like to jump through time and leave everything that was familiar behind, but I'll be with you to help you find that nostalgia again.” Mae said. She began putting away the art supplies while she watched James get lost in his own memories. She pulled out her phone and quickly texted Wanda and Tony.

_-Tony I'm telling Wanda you're coming, just so she can magic the extra place settings. ETA-Mae_

_\--Wanda, I'm setting some extra place settings aside, Tony wanted to surprise everyone, but would you mind using you gifts to set the table at the right time?-Mae_

_\--Fine ruin the surprise. Ruiner of fun. 30 minutes tops.-Tony_

_\--Sure, I can do that, the kids are all cleaned up they are getting dressed now.-Wanda_

_-Thank you Wanda I'll see you soon.-Mae_

“James?” Mae asked. “Would you use that incredible physique and mash some potatoes for me?”

“Yes?” James asked he saw that Mae was holding out an apron for him to don. “It's frilly.”

“I promise to buy you one that is less frilly, but it's the only spare I have.” Mae said with a smile. “Maybe Tony can make a Nomex one with pockets to store your arsenal.”

“You pullin' this old soldier's leg again doll?” James asked, his eyes sparkled with humor.

“Nope, I'll ask him to make a tactical apron so it doesn't offend your sensibilities. It'll have all sorts of holster attachments, and pockets. Totally tactical.” Mae said with a straight face, it lasted all of 2 seconds before they both burst with laughter. They clung to each other, laughing so hard that tears were rolling down their faces. When they both calmed down they saw that they had an audience, Wanda was silently laughing at the two of them while the children all began to giggle.

“Tactical apron huh?” Wanda asked.

“Think Tony would make one?” Mae asked.

“For you, I think he would.” Wanda said.

“See they say they love you, but then they pick on ya. Women I tell ya.” James said to Vincent and Viktor.

“Only picking on you because you're an easy target, tactical apron.” Mae said with a laugh. She leaned over to press a chaste kiss on his lips. “And I do love you, you silly man. Go on you, you have potatoes to mash.”

“And now she's givin' me orders.” James said with an exaggerated sigh. “When in doubt boys, just agree with the lady of the house, makes your life a lot easier.”

“My Da always said it was easier to just agree.” Vincent said with a grin.

“Well your Da was a very smart man, would you like to help mash the potatoes?” James asked as he ruffled Vincent’s hair. “Viktor, would you please set the table? Sylvie, I think Mae would love your help.”

“Sure I can help, I used to help mash potatoes before.” Vincent said. James pulled over a step stool for Vincent to stand on as he observed James.

“I left out butter, milk and cream cheese for the potatoes.” Mae said. She held Sylvie as they added festive decorations to the table. “Sylvie you're so creative, want to help with the napkins?”

“Can we make them look like flowers?” Sylvie asked. “I saw them once on TV, they were folding them into flowers.”

“Absolutely sweetheart, let's go get the nice napkins out and we'll fold them into flowers.” Mae said as she pressed a soft kiss to Sylvie's head.

“Viktor? Could you help by grabbing the glasses on the counter?” Wanda asked. “Thank you.”

“Why are there two different glasses?” Viktor asked.

“One is for water and one is for wine.” Wanda said. “And no, unless you're of legal drinking age, there won't be a need for you to sample it.”

“Alcohol smells bad anyways.” Viktor said. He glared at the wine glasses as he carefully placed them around the table.

Wanda's eyebrows rose slightly when he said that, she looked over at Mae and they exchanged a nod of understanding. They heard a small commotion on the roof where the landing pad was. Before they knew it they saw their other team members arrive. The look of shock on the childrens faces was well worth the surprise. Vincent immediately took a protective stance in front of James, shielding him from view, well as much as a child could. Sylvie tucked tighter against Mae, and Viktor stood protectively in front of Wanda. Wanda reached out to lay a gentle hand on Viktor's shoulder, she whispered quietly to him and he relaxed slightly.

“Well, this is quite the welcoming party.” Tony said as he observed the children. He smiled brightly before he walked over to Mae. “And who is this angel?”

“This is Sylvie, she's incredibly talented. She helped me fold the napkins into beautiful flowers.” Mae said with a smile. She was rubbing slow circles on Sylvie's back. “It's okay sweetheart, Tony is a very good friend of mine.”

“You've done an excellent job, I can see that you're very creative.” Tony said gently. He watched as Sylvie's green eyes met his and she reached out to gently touch his facial hair. She slowly began to smile before she gestured for Tony to hold her. “I can't say I've held many children, but I will certainly try.”

“You're Iron Man.” Sylvie's clear voice announced. “Can I fly with you sometime?”

“I think I'd have to ask Mae's permission first.” Tony said with a grin.

“Tony if you build her a suit you and I are going to have words.” James called from the kitchen. “Steve, Darcy good to see you both. This is Vincent, my sous chef.”

“Vincent, you keepin' this guy in line?” Steve asked.

“Isn't that your job?” Vincent said with a smirk that could have been identical to James'.

“Sassy!” Darcy said she looked into the pot of mashed potatoes. “Did she have you add all the good stuff to these? They smell amazing, it's nice to meet you Vincent.”

“It's nice to meet you too.” Vincent said as he carefully stirred the potatoes. He looked over to see Sylvie animatedly chatting with Tony and Mae, Viktor was still standing slightly in front of Wanda, he saw the other man crouch down lower and introduce himself to Viktor. “And we added real butter, milk and cream cheese.”

“These potatoes are amazing, looks like you made enough for everyone.” Darcy said with a kind smile.

“Wanda good to see you again, and who might you be?” Rhodey asked. He could tell that Viktor was protective, and it seemed like men made him more apprehensive.

“My name is Viktor.” Viktor said.

“I'm James Rhodes, most everyone calls me Rhodey though.” Rhodey said.

“You have the War Machine suit right?” Viktor asked.

“I do, though Tony will tell you all about his genius behind it.” Rhodey said with a smile.

“Can it out fly Iron Man?” Viktor asked.

“No, it's not as fast as the Iron Man suit, it has heavier armaments though.” Rhodey said.

“I'd like to learn about it sometime.” Viktor said.

“Well when I give it a tune up would you like to help?” Rhodey asked.

“I'd have to make sure that Mae doesn't need my help, but I would like that. Thank you.” Viktor said.

“You're welcome, always good to learn other skills.” Rhodey said.

“Alright now that you're all here, please find places at the dinner table.” Mae said. “After you've all washed your hands.”

“Really Mom?” Tony said with a smirk.

“Really, you don't want to wash your hands then you won't be eating with us.” Mae said with a soft smile.

She watched as everyone lined up to wash their hands. Wanda began weaving her magic to put the extra plates, glasses, and silverware on the table. Mae grabbed three large serving platters and began placing the paprikash onto them while James put the mashed potatoes into two large bowls. Once everyone was sitting down at the table, James' led them through grace before they dug into the feast before them. Dinner itself was a jovial occasion, memories they each had and experiences they had lived through.

“One again Mae, absolutely amazing.” Tony said. “I think I gained 5 pounds, but it was so worth it.”

“Thank you for making such a large spread.” Steve said. He looked less burdened, and far more relaxed.

“You're very welcome, I didn't cook everything though.” Mae said. “Oh and Tony, you should probably make a few tactical aprons for the kitchen.”

“Tactical aprons?” Darcy asked.

“Yep, they need to be made of Nomex and probably Kevlar, lots of pockets and holsters.” Mae said with a straight face. She looked to the various adults at the table before she burst out laughing when she saw their expressions.

“I can't tell if you're being serious or not.” Tony said.

“Evidently my frilly aprons are emasculating.” Mae said as she nudged James.

“Just sayin', all them frills, not tactically useful.” James said as he pressed a soft kiss to her temple. Sylvie was curled up in Tony's lap laughing along with everyone else.

“I'll see what I can do.” Tony said. “So, heard you got a tree, but you haven't decorated it.”

“We were planning on decorating it after dinner.” Wanda said.

“Sounds like fun, I don't think I've ever actually decorated one.” Tony said.

“Like ever?” Sylvie asked.

“Nope, where I grew up my parents wouldn't have decorated a tree, they had people do it for them.” Tony said, he looked down at Sylvie and smiled at her. “I personally, think it will be a lot of fun to do one, Christmas traditions and all.”

“Darcy thank you for shipping everything, it really helped me a lot.” Mae said with a grateful smile.

“You are so welcome, you're paying me in food.” Darcy said. “Oh are we doing Christmas cookies?”

“I think we really should, I haven't made cozonac or gogosi in a long time.” Wanda said. “Though we missed the traditional Sfantul Nicolae tradition.”

“Leaving the clean shoes out on the 5th of December right?” James asked. “Wouldn't turn down traditional cozonac or gogosi.”

“I'm sure you'll get plenty of pastries James, and yes they do that because every child hopes to have them filled with gifts.” Mae said. “Well I suppose we'll have to have a nice quasi tradition of stockings over the fireplace.”

“Alright those that didn't cook, get to clean.” Darcy said as she and Steve began clearing the table. She watched as Vincent, Viktor and Sylvie began helping. “Nope, sorry if you helped set up, and or cook you're exempt from dishes.”

“But we have to help.” Viktor said adamantly. “That's our job.”

“Viktor, it's not your job to be indentured servants, you're assisting us plenty don't worry. Why don't we go find the boxes of Christmas decorations?” Mae asked kindly. She began handing out various boxes filled with tinsel, lights, and ornaments. She noticed that the children were all talking quietly in a very hushed manner, she walked over to them and looked at each of them. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothings wrong.” Vincent quickly said.

“Okay, so what are you three discussing?” Mae asked gently.

“Well, we don't have much, but we want to try and go shopping tomorrow.” Viktor said. “For gifts.”

“Viktor, of course I'll take you tomorrow.” Mae said with a kind smile. “That's very thoughtful of you three.”

“You've been very nice to us, and we appreciate it.” Vincent said with a smile.

“You're all wonderful and I love having you here. You've decorated our living room perfectly, and I don't think I've seen our group of friends smile that much. That in and of itself is a gift that you couldn't buy with money. Sometimes the best gifts aren't the ones judged by monetary amounts, sometimes the best gifts you receive are the memories you make with those you love and care about.” Mae said. She hugged the three children gently before she placed a kiss on each of their heads. “Now let's start getting everything together so we can decorate the tree.”

“You're amazing with them.” James said while he pulled her back against his chest. “You really are, you know exactly what to say to them.”

“I love children, and they've had a rough life, anytime I can ease some of their fears I will.” Mae said.

“You're a damn good woman, glad to call you mine.” James said with a smile. He watched as Wanda began weaving garland and lights throughout the giant tree, she took cues from the three children as to where and how they should be draped.

“You're a very good man, and I love you.” Mae said.

“Not always a good man, some of my thoughts about you are down right sinful.” James said as he spun her around to face him. He dipped her back and kissed her thoroughly, he heard Steve laugh, and Darcy chortle.

“Was he always this charming Steve?” Mae asked.

“Always, he was always able to charm the pants off anyone.” Steve said with a smile.

“Why would he want to charm someones pants?” Sylvie asked, clearly confused.

“He means that James was very charismatic.” Darcy said. “It probably wouldn't be good to actually charm of someones pants. Maybe a decent prank, why wasn't that used in Harry Potter?! I mean seriously, try Avada Kedavra while your pants are around your ankles.”

“You like that series?” Viktor asked quizzically.

“Sure do, still waiting on my owl.” Darcy said wistfully.

“Maybe we can watch the movies together.” Viktor said.

“I would say so, extended editions or regular?” Darcy asked.

“I haven't seen them.” Viktor said.

“Well that's about to change, we'll stay for a few weeks, so I think we have plenty of time to watch them all.” Darcy said. “Okay let's start finding ornaments for the tree.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Viktor said as he helped unbox ornaments.

“No problem, us nerds gotta stick together right?” Darcy said with a smile. “How many ornaments do you think we can cram on this tree?”

“As many as possible!” Viktor said excitedly. “I've never seen so many before.”

“Well you can thank Santa Tony, for having the means to ship so many for all of us to enjoy.” Darcy said. “I'll totally give you $5, if you go up to him and call him Santa Tony.”

“Darcy, quite using capital gain to entice them to be mischievous.” Mae said as she handed James garland to hang.

“Ruiner of fun.” Darcy said with a smile.

“Always.” Mae said.

“You're such a Mom.” Tony stated as he finished drying his hands. “And I mean that as a compliment. Before she was here and she worked with me, she made sure I ate all my vegetables and took naps or I got into trouble.”

“Well, Darcy helped too.” Mae stated. “Alright, now that the tree has enough lights, shall we begin putting the rest of the ornaments on the tree?”

  
  


The group dove into the pallet of Christmas supplies, boxes of Shiny Brite ornaments were unboxed, along with a trove of Avengers ornaments. Tony made sure to put enough of each super hero so the tree didn't seem unbalanced. When the got to the top of the tree Sylvie added a bright crystalline star powered by a small arc reactor. Once the tree was fully decorated they all stood in front of it and took a family photo of the fun, all the men were wearing antlers except for Tony who had a lovely Iron Man themed Santa Hat on, each of the children were wearing Elf Hats, and the three ladies wore Elf Hats as well. Darcy posted the photo on the Avengers various social media sites and it garnered quite a positive response. Many were asking who the children were, and what they were doing in Sokovia, Darcy responded to a few of them and set up a press statement regarding the social-economic problems that Sokovia was still dealing with. Darcy also left a call number and website up for those that wanted to donate to help relief aid in Sokovia.

Mae stood in the kitchen while she worked on a pot of hot chocolate, she watched as the children helped paint the remaining windows with their friends. Sylvie had suckered Tony into holding her up so she could add some final details to his window. Steve had put everyone to shame as he finished his window. He had painted the Howling Commando's, but what made it special was the way he added his new team members as well, they all looked happy together. Arms slung around each others shoulders, and laughter in everyone's eyes. It was beautiful, and incredibly provoking at the same time, she looked over and saw that James looked at the painting wistfully. A place in time that merged his past, and his future. She felt a soft touch at her elbow and saw that Vincent stood before her.

“What do you need?” Mae asked kindly.

“Can I help?” Vincent asked.

“Sure, I need to add in a pinch of nutmeg and cinnamon.” Mae said as she handed them over to him. “Sprinkle a little bit of each, it isn't an exact measurement, just enough so as you stir the hot chocolate you get a hint of each.”

“I haven't had hot chocolate in a long time.” Vincent stated. “It smells perfect.”

“Okay the last bit we add is a very trace amount of a chili pepper.” Mae said.

“Won't that make it too spicy?” Vincent asked.

“No, it'll add a subtle hint of warmth without being spicy.” Mae said. “Here, just add a very scant amount and give it another swirl. Would you stir while I make whipped cream?”

“Sure, how do you make whipped cream?” Vincent asked. “I liked cooking, it's like chemistry.”

“Cooking and chemistry go hand in hand. If you want to learn how to cook I'd be more than happy to show you how to cook.” Mae said with a smile. “Food science is something you can do well at, it's very similar to a chemistry degree. For whipped cream you need to get the metal bowl cold, that goes for the whisk too. You need heavy whipping cream, a vanilla bean, and powdered sugar.”

“Are we topping the hot chocolate with whipped cream?” Vincent asked.

“Naturally, and anything left over I guess we might just have to eat.” Mae said with a smile. She watched as James sauntered over. “Seeing what we're making?”

“Well I wouldn't mind being the official taste tester, something smells good.” James said as he placed a gentle kiss on her temple. “What are you two whipping up?”

“We made real hot chocolate and whipped cream.” Vincent said proudly.

“Vincent added in the top secret ingredients to the hot chocolate, he now knows my family's secret recipe.” Mae said with a proud smile, she watched as he blushed lightly. “Vincent since you helped would you ask everyone else to come over here if they want a cup?”

“Sure I can do that.” Vincent said as he left to go get everyone else.

“You really are great with them, the kids.” James said. _**She's a calming presence, and very patient.**_ _She's a damned good woman._ _ **Was she the type of woman you would have gone after? Before?**_ _Honestly I think I would have been pretty intimidated by her, she's more than I deserved back then. I was a lot less cautious when I dated._ _ **And now?**_ _Nothing could take me from her, wouldn't you agree?_ _ **Yes. She's inherently kind, and her intelligence is something. She saved us.**_ _That she did._ _ **I have never known what 'love' meant, not until her.**_

“Thank you, you're doing pretty well yourself.” Mae said with a soft smile. “Honestly watching you interact with them, it's quite the turn on.”

“That so doll?” James asked with a smirk.

“Absolutely.” Mae said as she leaned over and kissed him. “I love you James, you're truly an amazing man.”

“Okay enough of the feelings and stuff I was promised hot chocolate.” Tony said with a faux pout.

“Alright old man, age before beauty.” Mae said with a grin.

“Technically your super soldier is older than anyone here.” Tony said glibly.

“Maybe if you carbon dated him, but technically he's younger than you.” Mae said.

“Steve, they're sciencing again.” Darcy exclaimed.

“Only counts if they actually tried to carbon date each other.” Steve said. “No Tony that isn't permission to do so.”

“Never mind, Capsicle is the ruiner of fun.” Tony stated.

“Wanda, would you get the mugs down please?” Mae asked. She watched as Wanda waved her hands and the mugs all filed down from the cabinet. “After the hot chocolate is gone, it is time to wash up and get ready for bed. I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

“What's going on tomorrow?” Wanda asked.

“Well, they asked us to go into town with them to find some gifts.” Mae said.

“Sweet! I needed to scope out the shopping here too.” Darcy said much to Steve's mild dismay. “What? I swear it won't be like that time,”

“Sweetheart, you said that last time too, and we ended up with more than I could carry.” Steve said.

“But, new things, in a new country.” Darcy protested.

“Darcy.” Steve said.

“Fine, I'll be really thrifty.” Darcy said.

“Doll, it isn't the money, it's the mass you're able to amass in a single trip.” Steve said.

“Fine, if I'll only buy as much as I am able to carry.” Darcy said.

“Seems fair.” James said. “Cept he shouldn't be makin' you carry your bags, ain't gentlemanly.”

“Thanks a lot Buck.” Steve complained.

“Just sayin', never let a lady carry her bags.” James said with a shit eating grin.

“I'll remember that when I go shopping for parts I need for work.” Mae said with a devilish grin.

“Might as well put this feat of engineering amazement to use.” James stated. He watched as Sylvie began nodding off in Tony's arms. “And on that note I think it's time to get them into bed.”

“Do we really have to go to bed now?” Sylvie asked as she was jostled awake. “I'm not even sleepy.”

“Yes, it's time to get washed up for bed.” James said. “Come on, I'll tuck you in after you're washed up for bed.”

“Okay, will you read?” Sylvie asked.

“Of course, whatever you want sweetheart.” James said as he carried her towards her room.

“Do you get used to it?” Tony asked.

“What do you mean?” Mae asked as she finished loading the dishes into the dish washer. “Seeing him with the kids?”

“Yeah I mean, he's actively stepping into the whole father-hood role.” Tony said.

“It doesn't throw me a whole lot, he's a very protective person by nature, and he wanted children.” Mae said. “Sometimes it throws me that he's so naturally good at it. It's instinctual to him.”

“I'm glad he has you, really, I'm glad you have each other.” Tony stated. “You look happy, and I'm really glad to see that, just so you know he breaks your heart and I'll seriously put on the suit.”

“Thank you Tony.” Mae said. She reached over and pulled him into a hug. “Just so you know, Wanda already threatened to break his legs if he breaks my heart.”

“That is probably more terrifying, yeah mildly more terrifying.” Tony said as she returned her hug.

“How are you holding up?” Mae asked.

“Better, surrounding myself with good people. It helps.” Tony said. “Heard from Pepper, she's doing well.”

“Tony I'm glad to hear that, and it sounds like you are all staying here for a bit.” Mae said. “I think that will be good for you.”

“Has he started his therapy yet?” Tony asked.

“Not yet, but he will after New Years. He's already starting to get his office set up, you should have heard him swearing up a storm at first.” Mae said with a smile. “He never thought he would ever have his own office, but he loves what he's doing.”

“That is very good to hear, maybe not the swearing part, but at the end of the day he is a good man.” Tony said.

“I am surrounded by good people.” Mae said. “Tony, would you help me look into the their backgrounds? I haven't uncovered much, but they all have come from a rough background.”

“I can try and do that, they're great kids. I don't have a lot of experience, or rather any experience with kids, but they seem amazing. Are all kids that affectionate?” Tony asked.

“Kids usually are affectionate, but they seem to really need it, and it seems like our group of friends loves to give them the attention and affection they need.” Mae said.

“Very true, well you have a super soldier to tuck into bed, and I have some things to work on.” Tony said.

“If you don't get to bed soon I'll know.” Mae threatened.

“Okay Mom, I promise to brush my teeth and everything before bed.” Tony said.

“Good, I've trained you well. Good night Tony.” Mae said as she left the kitchen and headed towards her apartment.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you caught the Shiny Brites ornaments those are a real company, which became Radko. They were very popular in the 1940's and 1950's, I have a collection of them, and the ones from around WW2 didn't have the traditional metal hangers but used cardboard to save the metal for the war effort, they were also a proud American company, a trademark they used during the war as well. I am a nerd, Radko makes beautiful ornaments and I try and snag a few when I see them at thrift shops.
> 
> Thank you for staying with me, I really do appreciate it, if I could message each of you I would. I've been chipping away at these next few chapters there are so many things I really wanted to incorporate into this work and I hope you're enjoying it. 
> 
> Seriously thanks for sticking with me, I'm not going anywhere and neither is this story. Thank you again for reading, for commenting and for kudoing me. <3 I do love to hear what you think of my work, and with how this story hits you. Find me on tumblr I swear I'm friendly. http://bellenuit45.tumblr.com/


	19. Let Me See Your Hips Swing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings ahead....some fluff but mostly smut. FYI loads of it in this particular chapter so if that isn't your cup of tea I am sorry. The next chapter will be a lot of development and finally Christmas time...  
> I thought that Mae and James needed some much needed alone time, what adult doesn't ;-) so I hope you enjoy this!!

“How many stories did you end up reading?” Mae asked as she removed her earrings.

“Well first she said she'd be happy with 3, then 3 became 4.” James said with a soft smile.

“She has you wrapped around her little finger doesn't she.” Mae said.

“Maybe, but there are worse ways. She's great.” James said.

He watched as Mae pulled off the wrap dress she wore throughout the day, he reached out and helped the soft fabric slide from her shoulders. He pressed soft kisses on her shoulders, before he began a trail of kisses down her spine. He knelt in front of her pressing soft kisses along her hip bones, his eyes met hers, _**we could drown in those depths, her eyes burn with such fire, such passion.**_ His grip tightened on her hips, as his teeth sunk into the soft flesh of her hip. He heard her moan, his teeth bit down with more force until her moan turned into a soft whine. He watched as she unhooked her bra, his hands traced over her curves, the feeling of his larger hands tracing every contour on her body ignited something primal in him. He watched as her bra joined the growing pile of clothing on their floor. Her smaller hands began unbuttoning the top of his shirt before she helped him pull it over his head. He felt her fingertips trace a path from his shoulders, down and across his collarbones before the began unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. She knelt in front of him while she lowered his pants, she smiled up at him when she realized he wasn't wearing anything under his jeans. She pressed a series of open mouthed kisses along his hips before she made eye contact with him. His flesh hand was wound loosely in her hair while his mechanical hand caressed her face. She smirked at him before she took him in her mouth, her tongue swept a broad swipe from his base to the tip of his cock. His eyes rolled back in his head, he felt her swallow him down, her hand stroked what she couldn't fit in her mouth. _Fuck I'm in Heaven, just like that doll, just lik-_ _ **e that.**_

“You keep that up and it'll be over 'fore we begin.” James stuttered out. His hand tightened in her hair as she enthusiastically worked him over with her lush mouth.

“Lucky for us, you recover quickly.” Mae said as she renewed her efforts. She could feel her arousal dripping down her thighs as she pumped him faster with her hand, stroking and twisting, her mouth was wrapped tightly around the crown of his thick shaft. She began flicking her tongue on the sensitive underside of his cock while maintaining suction, she could feel him swelling further in her mouth while his hand hand tightened again in her hair.

“I'm close sweetheart, just like that.” James said, he felt the Soldier’s presence in his mind begging for release. “Возьмите все от меня, Ласточка меня вниз.” {take all of me, swallow me down}

He felt like he was balanced on a knifes edge as he looked down and saw her swollen lips latched tightly over him, he could feel her tongue caressing him while her hand never stopped its movement. He cradled her jaw with his mechanical hand, his thumb stroked her cheek as he continued to pump himself into her wet mouth. He felt desperate, desperate to fully let go, desperate to just feel the sensations that she was creating with him. He felt the soft silken strands of her hair wound tightly in his hand, he felt the smooth, soft skin under his mechanical hand, he felt her warm, wet mouth meet him eagerly with every stroke. His eyes closed tightly as he felt that pull, that inconcieveable ignition that started at the base of his spine and quickly shot forward through every neuron, every cell of his being. He gasped as he finished in her mouth, stroking her cheek as he came down from his climax.

“Вы всегда идеально подходит для меня.” James said the Soldier was still a prevalent force in his personality, he reached down and helped her from the ground. {You are always perfect for me.}

“I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.” Mae said with a smirk.

“получить на кровать, развел ноги.” James said, she'd never admit it, but his authoritative voice did things to her. {Get on the bed, spread your legs}

Mae slid into their bed, leaning against the headboard before she spread her legs for him. She watched his eyes nearly glow with arousal, he took two quick steps towards her, exagerating his steps with an extra swagger. He watched her eyes widen as she licked her lips in anticipation. He gently reached out and carassed her thighs as he climbed between her spread legs. When they were together, they were like magnets; they were drawn to each other, unable to break away from each others touch, the lingering caresses they lavished upon each other; as if they were only made for each other. He smirked down at her, her eyes were already blown and shone with adoration, adoration solely for him. _You're so possessive._ _ **And you're not?**_ _Not like you, you want to possess every ounce of what makes her, her. To bathe her in you until whatever is left of her is possessed by you, and only you._ _ **I don't want her to lose herself, I wouldn't unmake her like that. I. I cherish her. She's unique. She's everything, to see only adoration shine in her eyes, how could I not want her for keeps? I'll always be more possessive in some ways, she's the first shining light I've had, and I won't risk ever losing her.**_ _You want to marry her?_ _ **I don't see myself as a white wedding type of man, but I**_ _ **want**_ _ **to put a ring on her finger, call her mine for the rest of our years.**_ _Ours._ _Ours for the remainder of our lives._

They were interupted by a quiet knock on their bedroom door, Mae laughed lightly before she slipped off their bed to find clothing. James was pulling his jeans on while he watched as Mae slid back into her dress before she walked over to the door. She pulled it open and saw that Sylvie was standing in the hallway.

“Hey sweetie what's wrong?” Mae asked. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“Yes.” Sylvie answered quietly. She saw James standing behind Mae, she ran towards his legs and held her tiny hands up. James crouched down and picked her up and cradled her against his chest.

“маленькая птица, what scared you?” James asked. {little bird}

“I dreamed about the place where we lived before.” Sylvie said. “Why aren't you wearing a shirt?”

“I was getting ready for bed when you knocked on our door.” James said. “Do you want to talk about your dream?”

“No, not right now.” Sylvie said softly. “I don't want to go back to sleep yet.”

“Sweetheart let's get you cleaned up then we can all curl up together.” Mae said. 

“Let's go find another set of pajamas while Mae makes our bed up for us.” James said. He pressed a soft kiss to Mae's cheek while he walked Sylvie back into her room for a change of clothes. “You can always tell us when something scares you, we'll be there to remind you that you're safe.”

“Always?” Sylvie asked, she was peering up at James with a look of wonderment in her eyes.

“Always, Маленькая кукла.” James said as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. {little doll}

“I dreamed that I was back in that place, I heard them talking about putting me into some program, I didn't want to do it.” Sylvie said. “The other kids that went into the program didn't return normal if they returned.”

“They won't ever take you, not from us, I promise.” James said as he located a new set of pajamas. _**They'll never take her from us, no child should fear being taken from their home.**_ _She was comfortable enough to tell us about her internment with Hydra._ _ **No child should be subjected to their search for knowledge. Discovery does not require experimentation.**_ _No it sure doesn't._ “You will always be safe with us, дорогая.” {sweetheart}

“Alright the bed has been made, let's get you changed.” Mae said. She noticed that James seemed lost in his own mind, his eye brows were drawn in a speculative arch. 

“Can I stay here? Just until I fall asleep?” Sylvie asked. She was curled up between Mae and James, she held their hands in hers.

“Sure sweetheart, just close your eyes and I'll tell you a story okay?” Mae said. “ _In the great green room there was a telephone and a red balloon, and a picture of the cow jumping over the moon, and there were three little bears sitting on chairs, and two little kittens and a pair of mittens.”_

“Sounds like you had that one memorized.” James said. 

“It's always been one of my favorites.” Mae said. She looked over and saw that Sylvie was cuddled against James' broad chest. 

“She told me what her nightmare was about, something a kid should be scared of. She was worried that they were going to take her again and use her like an experiment.” James said. The coldness that his voice expressed displayed how passionate he was about protecting her. “There's nothin' I wouldn't do to protect them, to protect you.” 

“I never doubted that James, you're extraordinary.” Mae said. 

“I'm going to put her back in her bed.” James said. Years of having to be stealthy helped him put Sylvie back into her bed without waking her. He pressed a tender kiss on her forehead, he stroked her cheek and he promised her that she would be safe the rest of her days. He quietly checked on Viktor and Vincent, both boys were sleeping soundly, smiles etched on their dreaming faces. When he made his way back to their shared bedroom he saw that Mae wasn't in bed, she was standing under the warm water, he watched it slowly cascaded down her lush body. It reminded him of their first time together, the errant passion, the newness of exploring each other fully for the first time. He remembered her moans, her sighs of pleasure, the wrecked look in her eyes. _**If you don't want to join her, I'll gladly take over.**_ _Never said that, just appreciating her form._ _ **Well appreciate it more hands on, she's an angel in temperament, but she's just as sinful as a devil.**_

“Are you going to join me, or just stand there gawking?” Mae asked as she rinsed the soap off her body. 

“Was plannin' on it, you're quite the vision.” James said with a lecherous gaze.

He shucked his clothes and stepped into the shower. He reached out to push the wet hair away from her face, his hands slid across her soap slicked skin, caressing her sides as he lifted her up. He pressed her tightly against the wall grinding her against his arousal. He grabbed her hip as he hitched her higher on his body, her legs deftly wrapped around his waist as she leaned in for a kiss. Her hands ran through his hair, her blunt nails deftly scraping along his scalp while her tongue coaxed his mouth open. He turned her head and began leaving a trail of kisses across her throat and chest, he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth before he sunk his teeth into the soft flesh. Her head was thrown back while a low moan escaped from her lush lips. 

“Need you.” Mae moaned, she felt his lips curve into a salacious grin against her breasts. 

“Tell me what you need дорогая девушка.” James asked. {darling girl}

“I need you to fuck me against the wall.” Mae said. She felt his hands tighten on her thighs as he lifted her up higher against the wall. He placed her legs over his shoulders while he smirked up at her.

“Good things come to those who wait.” James said. “Are you going to be a good girl?”

“If I'm not, will you punish me?” Mae asked. Her head was thrown back at the first touch, his tongue slipped between her wet lips, licking a slow stripe up her dripping center. He slipped his lips over her clit, sucking slowly as he quickly flicked the tip of her clit with his tongue. He used his hands to spread her legs further apart as he repeatedly dove between her legs, he felt her legs try and tighten up, but he held them apart. “Please James, please, so close, please.”

“I gotta say, I love hearin' you beg for me.” James said as he resumed teasing her, slowly licking up her slit before his tongue swirled around her clit, he nipped her with his teeth before he replied. “Keep begging doll, I'll get you there, I promise.”

“Please James, please, so close, please, oh God!” Mae cried as she felt him fill her with two fingers, she felt him crook them upwards, stroking her g-spot as his tongue repeatedly lashed across her clit. He began pounding his fingers into her, he could feel her walls fluttering around them, he curled them upwards as he sucked her clit back between his lips. He quickly flicked the tip of his tongue across her clit as he put her through a punishing pace, her core tightened around his fingers and with one last push she came gushing across his hand and face. He heard her scream his name as she came, her head was thrown back against the walls of the shower. Her whole body was trembling, the after shocks of her orgasm had her shaking. Her breasts were heaving as she caught her breath, when their eyes met he let her slide down his body until she stood before him. “I don't think I've ever came so hard.”

“Well I aim to please.” James said with a self satisfied smirk. “You gushing around my fingers, had to be one of the sexiest things I've ever seen. Or felt for that matter.”

“I can't say I've experienced that before.” Mae said with a coy smile. “Bed?”

James turned off the shower, and carried Mae towards their bed. He looked down upon her, her wet hair spread out around her like a halo, her eyes were filled with lust.  _**Ours, she's an angel, our redemption.** _ _Nothin' I wouldn't do to keep her lookin' at us like that._ _**Like we belong with her, those eyes of hers, I'd give anything to hear that we were made for her. All those years living like a dog, just so we could be saved by her. It was worth it.** _ _Yeah, it really was. Never met a dame like her, she's one in a million._

“Well, won't you join me?” Mae asked. Her fingers were teasing her nipples as she watched James climb on their bed. 

“Can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.” James said as he kissed her. Her hands were immediately wrapped around his broad shoulders. “Seein' you spread out before me, sure does something for my ego.”

“I doubt you need help stroking your ego, I think me screaming your name was enough of an ego boost.” Mae said. “Although I wouldn't complain about you getting me to scream for you again.”

“Aren't we lucky that our rooms are sound proofed.” James said as he hitched her leg around his waist. He teased her folds open with his bionic hand, he lined his cock up with her entrance, rubbing the tip against her clit. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I want you in me.” Mae said. 

“I am going to pound you into the mattress.” James stated. He hooked her legs over his shoulders before he began pushing himself into her tight center. He groaned, feeling her snug, wet, pussy wrapped around him made his eyes roll back as he pushed into her. He bottomed out in her, and he heard her gasp as he finally seated himself in her. “You're so fuckin' tight 'round me.”

“Fuck me please.” Mae begged. She watched as he slowly withdrew from her, he met her eyes as his hips snapped forward seating himself back inside of her. He smirked down at her, he pressed his lips against hers and devoured her moans as he continued thrusting deeper into her. 

“Goddamn doll.” James stuttered out. He groaned against her lips, he grabbed her hips and quickly spun her around so she was on her hands and knees. He pulled her hips flush against his, his hands clenched around her hips tightly as he began a rough, hurried pace. “ебать ваш пизда мокрая!” {Fuck, your cunt is soaking wet}

“Ты заставляешь меня мокрый, пожалуйста ебать меня сильнее, не сдержать.” Mae begged as he began pounding her into their mattress. {you make me wet, please fuck me harder, don't hold back}

_** She's begging for it, fuck look at her. She's so tight and soaking wet.  ** _ The soldier in him grabbed her hips with his flesh hand while his bionic hand held onto her shoulder, it gave him the leverage to slam her down on him. He could feel her begin to tighten around him, the quick fluttering around his cock made him throw his head back with a groan. He gripped her harder as he continued working towards his own climax. 

“Fucking hell sweetheart, touch yourself, not going to last.” James choked out. He pulled her up against his chest so her back was pressed against him, he watched as she drew fast circles around her clit, he grabbed her breast and tweaked her nipple. He felt her clench tighter around him, a precursor to her finishing. _**Harder! Mark her body, claim her.**_ “That's it, keep fingerin' that pretty pussy, come on doll, cum for me.”

“Harder, please James, I'm so close.” Mae cried out. She used her other hand to pull his hand up to her throat, she encouraged him to hold her by her throat. She felt him grin against her neck as his hand gripped her throat, as soon as he tightened his grip she came with a wordless scream on her lips. “James!”

He sunk his teeth into her neck as he worked himself closer to his climax, his hips thrust twice before he emptied himself into her. He held her gently in his arms as they both came back to reality, he pulled out of her and pulled her onto his chest. He ran his fingertips across her back and down her spine, he could feel her heart slowing down as they both rested against each other. 

“You're absolutely amazing.” James said with a huff of laughter. He pressed his lips against her head as he held her in his arms. “I can't imagine my life without you in it.”

“I can't imagine my life without you either James, you've made leaps and bounds in your recovery, and I am so proud of you.” Mae said. She sat up so she could kiss him, she looked into his deep blue eyes, they were sparkling with affection. “I am going to get cleaned up.”

“Doll, I'd say you wore out this old soldier.” James said, he followed her to their bathroom. Under the bright lights he could see that her skin was almost rubbed raw. He reached out to gently touch her hips and throat. “Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you?”

“You didn't hurt me, I enjoyed you letting go.” Mae said as she finished brushing her teeth. 

“The bruises on your skin tell a different story.” James said. He frowned as he traced the red pattern across her throat. He saw the evidence of him losing control, his teeth had left deep impressions on her flesh, his hands had carved her body up leaving deep bruises across her hips, and shoulder. “Mae, you're badly bruised, I hurt you.”

“James.” Mae said as she met his eyes in the mirror. She saw the bruises on her skin, decorating her flesh in a myriad of color. She pulled his hands tightly around her, still watching his expression, he looked beside himself. “You didn't hurt me, I enjoyed ever second of it, you may have physically marked me, but I truly loved every moment we've shared.”

“I can't lose control like that, whether or not you agree, I left bruises on you. If I had lost control you'd be looking at a broken collarbone, or a crushed trachea.” James said. _Why would you grip her so tightly, she's human, she isn't like us. She can't take that kind of abuse! How could you hurt her like that? **She said it herself, she isn't hurt. I was very exact in the amount of pressure I used, she may bruise, but I'd never abuse her. I would never hurt her. I...** love her. _“Steve's going to lose his shit when he sees you.”

“What we do as consenting adults, in our home, is none of his business.” Mae said. “You didn't hurt me and I really loved exactly how demanding you can be in bed. So stop this circle jerk of self blame, if I didn't like it, I would have said something James. Don't treat me like some princess spun out of glass, you'll just piss me off.”

“Mae.” James said as he turned her around to face him. “I love you, and I don't ever want to hurt you, I enjoyed everything we've done together. I just worry that I'll lose control and hurt you.”

“James, are you blaming him for hurting me?” Mae asked, she was pulling on a pair of clean panties and one of his shirts. She met his eyes and could see the guilt in them. “It isn't his fault either, it's no one's fault. I bruise easily, it's no one's fault.”

“ **He thinks that I abused you by leaving marks on you. I would never hurt you Mae, never. I'm sorry.** ” The Soldier said, his eyes were filled with guilt, fear, but most of all love. 

“Abuse? Did you both forget that I was begging you to fuck me harder?” Mae asked. She reached out to hold his head between her hands, she caressed his face gently before she leaned up to press a kiss on his lips. “You have never abused me, nor have you hurt me. I don't think you'd ever consciously hurt me.”

“ **He fears hurting you.** ” The soldier said, he leaned into her kiss, _**I need her, she quiets the voices.**_ “ **You are my salvation, my reason for living, I would never risk hurting you.** ”

“I know that, we are both going to read up on dominance and submissive relationships, it will give us perspective. I love you, and I trust you implicitly.” Mae said with a soft smile. “Now get dressed for bed and get over here and hold me.”

“ **I, I love you too.** ” The Soldier said. _It'll never be quiet in our head._ “I love you too doll.”

“Well I am an incredibly lucky woman, loved by two amazing men.” Mae said with a smile. “Get your well toned ass into bed with me.”

“As the lady wishes, so shall it be.” James said with an exaggerated bow. He pulled her against his chest and began stroking her spine, he kissed the crown of her head, before he relaxed. “Sweet dreams doll, love you, thank you for being patient.”

“Always James, I'll always be here for you. Sweet dreams my loves.” Mae said. She yawned and fell into an immediate deep sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all that have stuck with me, and my slow updates. I swear I sit down to write and I just blank. Trying to describe exactly how everything feels, is tough. So this wasn't very long because I would write and revise, and revise, and revise and nit pick. So thank you for being patient I do appreciate everyone that has read my work =) thank you for commenting and kudo-ing me. 
> 
> <3 https://bellenuit45.tumblr.com/ come chat with me!! I swear I am mostly normal.


	20. Under the Eaves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ho ho ho..Christmas in February! This is way more of a fluffy part of Christmas time, they all are going shopping. James might be looking for something shiny and bright.
> 
> Also there's a lot of dialogue in this one, hope it doesn't put anyone off of this chapter.

“Hurry! We have to get dressed fast so we can go shopping!” Vincent exclaimed excitedly. 

“Too early.” Vikor said.

“They promised to take us to the market, hurry up!” Vincent said as he ran next door to Sylvie's room. “Sylvie?”

“I'm ready to go.” Sylvie said with a smile. 

“Did you sleep well?” Vincent asked.

“No, had more nightmares. I knocked on their door, and they helped.” Sylive said. 

“You could have came to me.” Vincent said, he hugged her close against him.

“I know, but I thought you were asleep, and sometimes I miss them.” Sylvie said. 

“I miss them too.” Vincent said.

“I curled up between them, and Mae read to me.” Sylvie said. “I like them, they are kind and James promised me that we would never have to be afraid of _them_ again, he promised to protect us.”

“Sylvie, I'm glad you feel safe, but we don't know how long we'll be here with them.” Vincent said. He watched as his sisters face fell with sorrow.

“But he promised.” Sylvie lamented. 

“And while we're here, I am sure we will be protected, but they aren't our parents.” Vincent said. He saw Viktor standing in the door way he looked angry. 

“Why do you have to try and ruin it.” Viktor said. “We're all happy here.”

“I'm being practical, we don't know them very well.” Vincent said. “I'm not saying that we won't be here for awhile, but after Sokovia is rebuilt where do you think they'll go? They're Avengers.”

“So we'll go with them!” Sylvie cried. “I don't want them to go, are they leaving soon?”

“What's going on in here?” James calmly asked. He was surprised when Sylvie ran to him immediately with tears running down her face. He picked her up and cradled her against his chest. “What's wrong, why are you crying sweetheart?”

“Are you leaving?” Sylvie asked.

“I don't know, we're pretty happy here and there's a lot of rebuilding to do. Why?” James asked. He looked over at both boys and could tell that they had been arguing about something. “Boys?”

“We, well I wondered how long you're planning to stay.” Vincent stated.

“He said you're leaving, that you'd only protect us while you're here, but you promised. You promised that I'd never have to be afraid!” Sylvie said against his chest, tears were rolling down her cheeks, while she cried against him.

_ This is a conversation that we're going to both need to discuss with Mae, they all need a stable home, and  ** they should live without fear as well. She's a sweet girl, and the boys while energetic, are good children.  ** When have you been around kids?  ** Outside of Natalia? Not many, I never enjoyed killing children. I hated those the most, lives being snuffed out, paying for the sins of their parents.  ** We were punished when we wouldn't harm children.  ** More often than not, we were punished for existing.  ** _

“What happened?” Mae asked calmly.

“Are you going to leave soon?” Viktor asked.

“No, what happened?” Mae asked. She looked at each of their faces as she tried to ascertain what the problem was. 

“It's a conversation that we're going to need to have, and soon.” James stated. Sylvie had calmed down, but her hands were still tightly wound in James' shirt.

“Well why don't you three finish getting ready while James and I discuss what transpired here.” Mae said with a gentle smile. “We promised you shopping, after breakfast that's where we are headed.”

“Okay, should we meet you in the kitchen after we're ready?” Viktor asked.

“That would be wonderful, thank you.” Mae said. “If you need anything don't hesitate to ask, no one's in trouble either.”

“Thank you.” Viktor said.

* * *

 

“So, they think once we leave they will be left without a home.” James said. Mae's eyes grew wide with surprise, she took a step towards him before she replied.

“Why would they think that? Well I guess this is a good a time as any to tell you about my research, Tony has been looking into their backgrounds, and they are orphans. He found where they were being held, and he's trying to figure out how to go after the company that funded the 'research' and I use that word lightly.” Mae said. “I wanted to talk to you about their futures, we've discussed having children briefly, but...”

“Are you asking me if I want to adopt them?” James asked. _She has the biggest heart that I've ever seen, even more than Stevie in some ways._ _ **That she does.**_

“Well, maybe not just you, but yes that was what I was going to say.” Mae said, her bemused smile made her eyes shine. 

“I don't think I'll ever get used to just how astonishing you really are.” James said with a smirk. “Well, we haven't been together for a long length of time, but I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else.”

“Is it terrible that I already had Tony's lawyers draw up the preliminary paperwork?” Mae asked.

“No doll, you're just showin' your aptitude for planning things well in advance.” James said.

“What if they don't want us to adopt them?” Mae asked.

“Then we deal with that if we have to, but I don't think that will happen.” James said. “I love you.”

“I love you too James, you astound and surprise me daily.” Mae said with a loving smile. 

“When do you want to talk to them about this?” James asked.

“I wish that they wouldn't have said anything, I wanted to surprise them on Christmas, I know it's a little bit cliché.” Mae said with a silly smile. 

“So over breakfast, not a good idea?” James asked casually. _**You used to be better at concealing your emotions.**_ _Yeah, that's probably true._ _ **It is, but I will share in your happiness.**_

“I wish I could capture this moment in time, the famed 'Winter Soldier', and James Barnes nearly hopping from foot to foot over the idea of adopting three children.” Mae said with a bright laugh. 

“Aw Mae you can't do that! It'll ruin my street cred.” James said with a faux grimace.

“Your street cred?” Mae asked.

“Yep, us villains get together every year at various conventions, brag about what we've done all year.” James said solemnly, he kept his face trained to appear incredibly apathetic.

“James Buchanan Barnes, you are such a little shit!” Mae exclaimed happily. 

“Never said I wasn't, but I'm your little shit.” James said as he pulled her in for a kiss. “I really do love you.”

“I love you too, let's go break the news over breakfast. Wanna place a small wager?” Mae asked.

“Depends, what do I win?” James asked, he noticed that Mae's eyes were almost gleaming with a feral light.

“Who says you'll win?” Mae asked. 

“Darlin' I only play to win.” James said with a satisfied smirk.

“I bet you that Tony asks us when you're going to make an honest woman out of me.” Mae said.

“Why does this suddenly feel like a trap.” James asked. “I feel like you have insider information.”

“Now why would I do that?” Mae asked.

“You know the last person that said that to me ended up costing me an arm and 70 years of my life.” James said with a smile. He watched as Mae's eyes widened before she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Doll, it was just a joke, maybe a little bit dark, but it was still a joke.”

“You know, if you weren't so charming I'd probably find you to be quite an ass.” Mae said. She pressed a soft, lingering kiss on his cheek. “Come on, let's go to breakfast.”

“Your wish is my command.” James said as he picked her up, she squeaked as he positioned her in his arms. “If you quit squirmin' around we'll get there faster. And that ain't the only time someone's called me an ass.”

“I swear to Thor James, if you carry me in like a sack of potatoes I will end you.” Mae said as she laughed. “That doesn't surpise me, your best friend called you a little shit.”

“Ruin all my fun doll face.” James said as he shifted her again. “Always wanted to do this.”

“Did we miss something?” Steve asked with a rather bemused expression.

“No, James is being sappy, he actually said that he has always wanted to do this.” Mae said.

“Buck, if your Ma could see you now.” Steve said with a wry grin. He had never seen his friend so at ease with someone, he was never neglectful with the fairer sex, but he never made it a point to stay tied down to any one woman. His mother had often berated him for being so easy with his affections, she said that he was setting a terrible example for his siblings. Seeing him carry Mae bridal style was just another instance where he could see the positive change in Bucky. _For the love of a good woman._

_ \-----Flashback----- _

“ _James Buchanan Barnes! I did not raise you to cavort with as many women as possible.” Winifred said angrily._

“ _Ma.” James said._

“ _Don't you even aim those baby blues at me, I am furious with you!” Winifred said. “Your siblings look up to you, do you think it's proper that you're out with a new woman every night? I didn't raise you to be a man trollop, how much respect are you showing to the women you take out?”_

“ _Ma, it's just a little dancin', honest.” James said._

“ _A little dancing? That's not what your sister said she saw, I am ashamed of your behavior, treating women as though they're disposable.” Winifred lamented._

“ _Ma, I danced with a few ladies, but I didn't do anything that would make you upset.” James said._

“ _Takin' a different girl every night James?” Winifred asked._

“ _Well, no, that's true.” James said as he hung his head._

“ _Boy, you better not let your father hear of this, he'd do more than make your ears sore.” Winifred said._

“ _Yes ma'am.” James said, he could tell that Steve was trying very hard not to laugh._

“ _Good. Go wash up, both of you.” Winifred said with a soft smile._

“ _Yes ma'am.” Steve said with a smile. He was going to be ribbing Bucky about this later._

_ \-----Flashback End----- _

“She'd smack me upside the head.” James said with a smile. “Then she'd ask Mae if she knew what she was gettin' into with me. She'd love you Mae, you're exactly what she would've wanted for me.”

“She'd probably thank God that you finally found a woman that can tame you.” Steve said with a laugh. 

“She probably would.” James said with an honest shrug.

“That is lovely, but please put me down now.” Mae said with a smile. “I think your mother and I would've gotten along quite well.”

“I know you woulda doll.” James said as he kissed her lips before he set her down. 

“Darcy will be down soon, she is more than a little excited to hit the markets.” Steve said.

“You two are great for each other.” James said. “She's a real spit fire.”

“Someone has to keep him on his toes.” Darcy said with a smile. “Where's the kids?”

“They are eating with Wanda right now.” Mae said. 

“Alright well I have had like a pot of coffee and am ready to shop until we drop.” Darcy exclaimed.

“Great.” Steve said with a sigh, he noticed that Darcy was frowning. “Doll, just pullin' your leg, I've just never seen someone heckle and bargain as well as you.”

“Nice cover Stevie.” James said with a smirk. “Shall we all meet in the kitchen now?”

Tony was sitting in between Sylvie and Vincent while they animatedly discussed where they wanted to go. Tony appeared to be enraptured with their conversation. Mae smiled at seeing him open up to them, Tony was growing as a person and it warmed her heart to see the positive changes in him. 

“Good morning Mae, you look radiant.” Tony said with a sly grin. 

“Tony, you look exuberant, more so than usual.” Mae said with a smile. “Remember that paperwork I had you work up?”

“Yes, I do recall.” Tony said while he quirked his eye brow at her.

“Would you please grab those please?” Mae asked.

“Absolutely.” Tony said. “I'll be right back you three.” 

“What paperwork?” Vincent asked.

“All will be explained in a few moments.” Mae said with a kind smile. When Tony returned he passed her the paperwork his lawyers had drawn up. “James and I had a very important question for you three.”

“We wanted to ask you what you thought about us adopting you.” James cautiously asked.

“Adopting us?” Vikor asked.

“Yes, we wanted to adopt all three of you, we want to give you the home you all deserve.” Mae said.

“Forever?” Sylvie asked, tears were shining in her eyes.

“Forever sweetheart.” James said with a gentle smile.

“And you want all of us? You wouldn't split us up?” Viktor asked.

“We would love it if you want us to become your adoptive parents, the three of you, we would never split you up. That's not what you do to family.” James said, he laid his hand on Viktor's shoulder and gave him a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “Vincent what do you think of this?”

“Why would you want to adopt us?” Vincent asked. While he was by far a normally happy child, the mistrust that he had was still an integral part of who he was. 

“Because we've seen so much potential in each of you, you all are kind, smart, and wonderful. We've grown to care for you all deeply, and we want to give you the home you deserve.” Mae said. _They've been through so much._ “We want to see you grow and prosper, if you need time to talk amongst yourselves that's absolutely fine. Take all the time you need, we're not going anywhere.”

“Can we be excused?” Vincent asked. “We'd like to talk about it with each other.”

“Of course, try and be ready to leave soon though. There are new coats and boots in the closet in our apartment, hats and gloves too.” Mae said with a smile.

“We will.” Viktor said. “Come on Sylvie.”

“So Terminator, when are you going to pop the...” Tony started.

“черт возьми.” James said. {Fucking hell}

“Did I miss something?” Tony asked, clearly confused.

“No, just don't bet against Mae.” James said with that signature smirk of his. “Woman, what will I do with you?”

“Not bet against me?” Mae said.

“Clearly.” James said with an exaggerated sigh.

“So really, when you you popping the question?” Tony asked.

“Tony, what have we talked about when discuss boundaries?” Darcy asked.

“That I don't observe them.” Tony said.

“We knew that.” They all said collectively.

“But really, it's serious if you're honestly talking about adopting three kids.” Tony said.

“I think it's wonderful, they are all exceptional children.” Wanda said. “I wish we would have found someone like you, and James.”

“Well you're part of this dysfunctional family, no take backs Maximoff.” Tony said. “You're pretty much stuck with us now.”

“Wonderful, I've always wanted a big family. Even if there are annoying older brothers.” Wanda said with a sly smirk. She had come a long way from losing her brother, joining in a mutiny, and being imprisoned in the Raft. She had become more outgoing within their group. 

“Wanda, you are in charge of finding the best shops. Did they tell you where or what they were looking for?” Mae asked.

“They mentioned a few things, but I am sworn to secrecy.” Wanda said with a mischievous smile. 

“Fair enough, I'm going to see if they're ready. Meet downstairs?” Mae asked. “Will Rhodey be joining us?”

“Yes, he complained a little at first then Sylvie gave him the biggest set of puppy eye's I've ever seen.” Darcy said. 

“Alright, well I'll meet you all down there okay?” Mae said.

* * *

 

“What do you think about what they said?” Vincent asked.

“I think they mean it.” Viktor said. “Do you not?”

“No, they do, it's what we've always wanted.” Vincent added. “Sylvie?”

“Will they be our parents then?” Sylvie asked. 

“Yes, they would be our parents.” Viktor said.

“I want to stay with them, they are good.” Sylvie said. “We wouldn't have to be afraid.”

“Vincent?” Viktor asked.

“I'm in, they're good people.” Vincent said.

“Agreed.” Viktor said. “Come on we need to get ready to go.”

“Mae said that our coats and boots were in the closet.” Vincent said. As they made their way out to the living room he saw that Mae was already pulling out an assortment of coats, hats, gloves, and winter boots. 

“Everything alright?” Mae asked. 

“We made up our mind, is James here too?” Vincent asked.

“No, he's in the garage getting the vehicles ready.” Mae said. 

“Are these all new?” Viktor asked as he pointed to the clothing Mae amassed.

“Yes, we wanted to make sure that you had the proper winter weather gear.” Mae said as she helped Sylvie put on her boots and coat. 

“Thank you, we appreciate it.” Vincent said as he tugged on his jacket. “I'm excited to show you the shops and markets.”

“Well I'm glad I have a guide, I know Darcy is also looking forward to seeing the various markets.” Mae said with a smile. “Everyone ready?”

“Yes!”Sylvie shouted excitedly.

“Well let's go down to the garage.” Mae said. 

“Barnes you'll need an SUV just for your little family.” Tony stated. “Rhodey looks like it'll be you, Wanda, Cap, and Boobs. And OWW!”

“Tony what have we talked about people's nicknames?” Darcy asked as she rolled her eyes. It was clearly a conversation that happened frequently. 

“Not to use ones that demean my co-workers and friends.” Tony said. 

“And?” Darcy asked.

“I should apologize when I've been rude. So, sorry I called you Boobs, Darcy.” Tony said with a smirk.

“Thank you Tony, see you can teach an old dog new tricks!” Darcy said with a toothy grin. 

“Hardy-har-har doesn't that make the age gap between you and Steve a little, creepy? You're essentially dating a grandpa.” Tony snarked.

“And yet technically he's physically younger than you, so who's really winning Tony?” Darcy snarked right back. “Oh that reminds me of this photo!! Isn't that the damn truth too.”

“Actually, yeah that fits.” Tony said as he eyed the photo Darcy pulled up. “Would he wear that on a shirt? I could have it over nighted.”

“Tony, he wouldn't wear a shirt with his face on it.” Darcy said. “He won't even wear his shield, unless it's for the kids or something.”

“But, this is like a goldmine of hilarity.” Tony stated. “We could all have them made, like an ugly Christmas sweater party, only our faces party or something. This is happening and nothing you do will dissuade me.”

“Guess we still need to work on your impulse control.” Darcy said with a sigh. “Shotgun!”

“Damn, really that's cold.” Rhodey said with a laugh.

“Well you shoulda called it!” Darcy said with glee.

* * *

 

James was making sure that the car seat they had for Sylvie was properly installed, he wasn't willing to risk her getting injured because it wasn't set up correctly. Once he was satisfied with the installation he made sure that they had enough snacks and drinks for each child. He smiled at the thought that, God willing, he'd be adopting them.  _**This was something we've never dreamed about. A family. Our family.** _ _I'm honestly in awe, always wanted a big family, but I didn't think we'd ever actually have the chance to have one. Not after everything, thought I was lucky snaggin' Mae as it is, never thought I'd have kids too. It was like a far away_ _**dream, I wondered what a family would be like. When we were out on missions and we'd see families, I wondered what it would be like to be in one. I never thought that I could ever have a life outside of killing people. My hands are still covered in blood, sometimes I can almost feel it** _ _dripping from my fingers. Hands like ours aren't meant to hold a child, we've taken so many lives. How can we even hope for redemption?_ _**She has helped us redeem ourselves, we're allowed to want things, just for us. She gave us that, we will owe her until the end of our days.** _ _Yes we will, and I intend on showing her everyday how much we cherish her. I want to find a ring for her._ _**Don't tell Steve yet, he can't lie to save is life. Probably not Tony either, then neither will get jealous of the other.** _ _You make them seem like teenage girls._ _**Wilson would probably agree that they are like teenage girls sometimes.** _ _Probably. Wanda would probably good help, so would Darcy. They know her the best, or so I'm told._ He looked up and saw that Mae was ushering the children towards their SUV.  _**She's beautiful.** _ _That she is, what she sees in a schmuck like me I'll never understand._ _**She will always be more than we're worth, but she makes us want to be better men every day.** _ _That she does, that she does._

“Was wonderin' what was takin' you so long. Wasn't sure if I needed to send out a search party.” James said with a full smile. “Did Wanda come down already?”

“I'm not sure, she's riding in the other SUV, go see while I get this lot sorted.” Mae said with a smile. “Love you.”

“Love you too sweetheart.” James said. **“Я буду любить тебя всегда.”** {I will love you always}

“ Я люблю тебя слишком красиво.” Mae replied. She double checked everyone's seat belts before she got in. “Anyone need a snack or something to drink?” {I love you too handsome}

“I'll take something to drink please.” Vincent said.

“Me too.” Sylvie replied.

“I would like something as well, please.” Viktor said.

“Okay here you go, we either have water or juice boxes.” Mae said. The three children looked more excited about the juice boxes than the boring water. “Juice boxes it is, here you go. Will one of you two young men please help Sylvie with the straw?”

“Sure, I can do that.” Vincent said as he poked the straw through the sealed package. “Are we leaving soon?”

“As soon as James is done talking to the rest of our group.” Mae said. “I'm excited to see more of your country, it's so beautiful here. And the people, your culture is fascinating, I look forward to you teaching me more about your country.”

“We can definitely do that, did you want to get the things to make those pastries?” Vincent asked.

“I would, thank you for remembering, I wanted to make some. James lived in Romania for a couple years, he has said before that he misses the pastries, he does have a bit of a sweet tooth.” Mae said. “I know there's a couple cozonac recipes that I need to make. There was an almond chocolate cake too, and gogosi.”

“Can we help?” Sylvie asked.

“Of course, you're all welcome to help if you like. I know he'd really appreciate the time and effort you would put into them.” Mae said with a smile.

* * *

 

“Darcy, Wanda.” James called. He walked over to where they were both standing, he was lucky that Steve was already in the vehicle, he knew that the sound proofing on them worked even on super soldiers. “I need your help.”

“Okay?” Wanda asked quizzically.

“Sure.” Darcy said. She watched as Wanda raised her eyebrow in a questioning manner while Bucky looked slightly shocked that she agreed so quickly. “What? It's not like you're asking me to rob a bank or something. Pretty sure I've abused the, 'my boyfriend is Captain America', card one to many times.”

“Uh, right. Well no, we won't be robbing a bank. I just wanted to get Mae an engagement ring and you both know her the best.” James said nervously. He watched both of their faces to gauge their reaction. Wanda was smirking slightly, but she nodded her head in agreeance. Darcy on the other hand was wearing a mega watt smile and she made a noise that was only audible to dolphins and maybe dogs. “I'll take that as you both agreeing to help me.”

“Oh my god, does she know?” Darcy asked excitedly.

“No, I don't think so, I mean maybe.” James stuttered out.

“She does not, she hopes, but she doesn't know.” Wanda said with a soft smile. “She loves you so much, I wish you could see what I do. You will make good parents, those children already love you, though they are afraid to admit it. You're the best example they could have hoped for James, I do hope you know that.”

James stood still as Wanda said her piece. It shocked him, he knew her but he wasn't that close to her. They had both fought for the same side, but they hadn't had a lot of time to sit and get to know each other. He trusted her with his back, and maybe more importantly with having Mae's back. He thought, ' _what you've said means more to me than I can say, thank you Wanda, I am honored you see me in that light. I hope you can see just how truly impressive you are.'_ . He watched as her eyes burned brighter with a fondness he appreciated, her smile was genuine and the shadows that occasionally haunted her were gone. He reached out and pulled her into a comforting hug, in so many ways she reminded him of his younger sister. 

“You're a wonderful young woman, thank you.” James said as he held her. “You'll get there, take it one day at a time, our door will always be open to you.”

“Thank you James, I appreciate it.” Wanda said with a soft smile. “You're the older brother I would want.”

“Good, cause doll you're kind stuck with us now.” James said. “We'll follow you, you know the area better than we do.”

“That's right Barnes, you're on my turf now.” Wanda said with a smile.

“That's fine.” James said with a smile. “See you when we get there, and don't tell anyone, I want to keep this secret.”

“You do realize that we'll have to sneak away undetected.” Darcy said. “Well, you can probably blend into anywhere, but I have like no spy skills at all. I'm usually the distraction.”

“We can tell them we're shopping for women things, or something. Steve, and Rhodey will respect that.” Wanda said. “Tony, well hopefully they can reign them in.”

“Okay see you soon.” Darcy said as she opened the door.

* * *

 

As James drove behind the other vehicle he took in the scenery around him. Tall mountains capped with snow stood as a background, the sky was bright and filled with soft white clouds against a backdrop of perfect blue. There was a slight chill in the air, but it hadn't become unbearably cold, he may have been the Winter Soldier, but he wasn't fond of freezing if he didn't have to. 

“How close are we?” Mae asked.

“Probably a few more minutes.” Vincent said. “So we talked about it and we all agree, we want you to adopt us.”

You could have heard a pin drop, the blank faces that Mae and James wore quickly turned to excited smiles. The air in the car felt warm and incredibly happy.

“Thank you.” James said with a bright grin. He quietly sent up a silent prayer of thanks to whomever was listening. _Thank you for giving me this opportunity, thank you._

“Thank you, truly, I am over joyed that you all agree. We will do everything in our power to give you the lives you deserve.” Mae said with tears in her eyes. “Now I wish we could hug you. So expect that when we get out.”

Once they arrived the myriad of activity was almost overwhelming. Everything was decorated brightly with rich earth tones and jewel tones. Various banners above the different stalls explained their wares along with adding to the eclectic feel of the open market. Each of the children wore bracelets that would track their location and keep track of their vitals. Sylvie was sitting onto of James' broad shoulders while she animatedly told him where to head. Vincent was walking with Mae, he was lively as he explained where some of the stalls were that he wanted to visit, Viktor had already began peppering Tony with questions. Wanda and Darcy had quietly made there way over to where James was with Sylvie. 

“Okay everyone is fairly occupied, want to make a break for it?” Darcy asked. 

“Where are we going?” Sylvie asked.

“We're on a special mission, would you like to help?” James asked.

“Okay! Do we get super special code names?” Sylvie asked.

“Yes, what should yours be?” Wanda asked.

“котенок?” James said soundly.

“You want to call her kitten?” Wanda asked.

“She is small and nimble, котенок would describe her attributes well.” James said, he watched as Darcy and Wanda stood slightly gobsmacked. “What?”

“Ovary Explosion!!” Darcy said with a large grin. 

“You're very sweet.” Wanda said with a small smile. 

“Sylvie what do you think?” James asked.

“I like it, and it does describe me.” Sylvie said with a small smile. “Okay now we have to find that ring!”

“Sylvie, how did you know that's what we were looking for?” James asked.

“Why else would you need an escape plan, and the help of her two best friends?” Sylvie asked with a look of pure confusion on her face. 

“You are very observant little one.” Wanda said with a genuine smile. “She'll give you a run for your money.”

“Don't I know it.” James said with a smile. “Okay Wanda where might that store be?” 

“Follow me it's just the up the next block. They are all hand crafted and of beautiful craftsmanship. You won't regret finding her a ring there. They can also do a custom design if that's what you need.” Wanda said as they made it to the jewelers. 

From the outside it was hard to tell what it would look like, it was a very plain and slightly nondescript in aesthetics. When they entered the shop his eyebrows rose to nearly his hair line. It was more modern, everything was sleek and polished. James began looking at the different designs, some were too gaudy, or just too big for her slender fingers. 

“Is there something I can help you with sir?” A sales representative asked.

“Oh, I'm looking for a ring, I'm ready to propose to my girl friend.” James said. _**Those are words I never thought I'd hear.**_ _Yeah it's surreal, but I can't imagine my life without her. Not in a million years can I see myself with anyone else._ _ **I agree, she is special, so unique in everyday.**_

“Oh that's so sweet! My name is Leslie, and I'm happy to assist you. Do you have an idea of what style of ring you're looking for?” Leslie asked.

“Actually I do, I like the meaning behind the 3-stone rings.” James said. “She gave me back my life, and I liked the idea of them standing for past, present and future.”

“Wow, she's one lucky lady.” Leslie said.

“No, I'm the lucky one.” James said with a smile. 

“Okay well if you follow me over here this is where we keep that particular style of ring. If there are any that you are interested in just let me know.” Leslie said.

“Thank you, I will.” James said. He began eying the various rings that were before him, some of them looked like they'd be bulky, and he knew that she wouldn't want something sharp and jagged. He'd seen one that reminded him of an infinity symbol, an endless self-feeding loop that signified forever. _And forever is what I'd want with her._ He made eye contact with Wanda and Darcy, he nodded slightly and they joined him. 

“What did you find?” Darcy asked. She watched as he pointed to a beautiful 3-stone ring, the stones were captured in an endless loop. “That one? That is stunning, she'd be over the moon over it.”

“I agree, it would be compliment Mae really well.” Wanda said.

“Leslie, could you please let me see one of these rings?” James asked.

“Of course, oh that one? Lovely choice.” Leslie said as she set out a black velvet pad, she set the ring in the center and she also set out a loupe. 

James set Sylvie on Wanda's lap while he leaned forward and carefully picked up the ring. He eye'd it thoroughly before he picked up the loupe, he couldn't see any obvious flaws and the craftsmanship was precise. He liked that the band wasn't just a simple smooth circle, but almost as if the white gold was a fluid ribbon that wrapped around the diamonds.

“Do you know what size ring she would need?” Leslie asked.

“She's a size 7 I believe.” James said.

“How did you know that? I've never seen her wear a ring.” Darcy asked.

“I'm good with spacial dimensions.” James said with a smile. 

“Well you're in luck, this ring is also a 7.” Leslie said. “We also have a matching wedding band too.”

“Thank you. Wanda what do you think?” James asked.

“I think that it is a good representation of your feelings for her, it represents what has happened, what is happening, and what will come to be.” Wanda said.

“Sylvie?” James asked. “What do you think?”

“It's very pretty, it's like what a Princess would have.” Sylvie said. “Does this mean that you're our Daddy when you get married?”

James sat incredibly still, he looked over at Darcy and Wanda's expressions before he turned toward Sylvie.  _That wasn't exactly what I was expecting to hear,_ _**no but it is not something I mind either.** _

“If you would want to call me that I would be honored. I made you a promise Sylvie, and I intend on keeping it. I always wanted a little girl.” James said with a sympathetic smile.

“I would like that, I miss my Daddy very much, but you remind me of him.” Sylvie said softly. “Can I call Mae Mommy?”

“I don't think she would mind you calling her that at all. She really is an amazing woman.” James said with a loving smile. 

“She is. Can we get her that ring so you can get married?” Sylvie demanded.

“Well, you heard the lady, I guess I'll be taking that one.” James said with a smirk. 

“The diamonds are flawless, so that raises the price a little.” Leslie said.

“I'm not worried about it, I'll take it.” James said. 

“Buck, it will probably be a very large chunk of change. That center diamond is like 2 carats on it's own.” Darcy said.

“I didn't tell Mae yet, but I got my back pay. Tony's lawyers really helped out, I will be Major General James Buchanan Barnes. I guess you keep getting promoted for as long as you're a P.O.W.” James said. “I made quite a bit of money over the years after they calculated interest and the varied ranks I would have attained.”

“You deserve that and more James.” Wanda said.

“I'm thrilled to hear that, I'm glad Tony was able to help you get your life back.” Darcy said. 

“Thank you both. Sylvie I saw an ice cream shop across the street would you go with Darcy and get some ice cream?” James asked.

“Okay, what kind do you want?” Sylvie asked.

“Chocolate, if they have dark chocolate I'd be okay with that too.” James said with a smile. “Thank you Darcy.”

“Not a problem.” Darcy said with a smile. 

“So why do I not get ice cream?” Wanda teased.

“I promise after this you'll get ice cream too. I wanted your opinion, since it's the kids first Christmas with us, I was hoping to get pocket watches for the boys and I wanted to start a charm bracelet for Sylvie. Mae already found the bracelet, I need to find the watches and a couple charms.” James said.

“I am helping you find the right charms?” Wanda said with a smile. “I will go look while you look for the watches.”

“Leslie, I need two pocket watches they need to be durable and practical.” James said. “Do you do engraving here?”

“We do indeed, we have some made of tungsten carbide, they are durable and look polished as well.” Leslie said. 

“I'll need two of them.” James said. 

“Do you know what you'd like to have them say?” Leslie asked. 

“Not all who wander are lost.” James said.

“Tolkien, nice choice. I can have those done in a few moments, was there anything else you were looking for?” Leslie asked. 

“Do you have other rings? My friend that's with me likes unique jewelry.” James said. He'd taken notice that Wanda often wore different types of rings across her fingers, and he thought it would be a good gift for her for Christmas. 

“Absolutely follow me please.” Leslie said. “We have quite a large selection too.”

“Thank you, I know I want to get her some with arrows, an evil eye, and either a stacking ring or something similar.” James said. 

“Well the chevrons have been popular, those would look nice on her, she has such petite hands.” Leslie said. “Do you know her ring size?”

“She's a 5. I'll take the arrow set, that evil eye, and one of the chevron ones as well.” James said. “I like that sapphire star ring as well, but in a 7.”

   

“You'll spoil the women in your life.” Leslie said with a smile.

“I think I'm alright with that.” James said. “Would you mind bagging the other rings separately?”

“I can do that, we do free gift wrapping as well, would you like me to do that while you're looking at charms?” Leslie asked.

“I would appreciate that. The chevrons, arrows, and evil eye can all be put together.” James stated. 

“Okay, I'll get those boxed up and I'll start engraving the watches.” Leslie said.

“Thank you for everything.” James said.

“It's been my pleasure.” Leslie said.

“James?” Wanda called.

“What did you find?” James asked.

“You are Irish correct, I found this claddah charm, and one that looks like a crown.” Wanda said.

“Those are perfect, thanks for the help.” James said. 

“You're very welcome, I meant what I said earlier, she is lucky to have you.” Wanda said. “She never feels scared, or afraid when you're with her, she has had a very rough life.”

“I know she has, she's amazing they all are.” James said resolutely. “I'll let Leslie know those are the ones we want and then we can get you ice cream.”

“Perfect. Steve just messaged Darcy, who messaged me. They are all done and wondered if we were done too.” Wanda said. 

“I think we are.” James said. “Thank you for your help, I appreciate it. Would you ask the others if they want ice cream?”

“Wouldn't want to see them pouting because they didn't know about our secret trip. Oh, and I can carry the jewelry until we're home so it stays a surprise. We already told Sylvie she can't say anything to anyone.” Wanda said.

“Good idea, I figured a bag would be a dead giveaway.” James said. “Leslie we just need two charms and we'll be done for the day.”

“Wonderful everything has been gift wrapped, usually the charms come in their own little bags is that okay?” Leslie asked. 

“That's fine.” James said. When she was done wrapping up the charms she handed him a bill. _**We could have bought a car, but it'll be worth it to see their faces.**_ _That's what I was counting on._ He handed her a debit card and made sure that each item was insured as well. “Thank you for your help Leslie.”

“You're very welcome, if something's wrong you can return them or get them re sized.” Leslie said.

“I appreciate that, thank you.” James said. He turned to Wanda and offered her his arm. “Well, shall we go empty out the ice cream store?”

“We just might. Thank you for including me, I appreciate it.” Wanda said.

“You're welcome, I understand what it's like to lose everyone you love. I appreciate you sacrificing yourself when we last saw each other, more than I can ever repay.” James said. 

“I did what was right, I would do it over again if I had to.” Wanda said. “Come, we have much ice cream to purchase. We might just want to bring the whole container back for Steve.”

* * *

 

By the time they made it back to the vehicles, Sylvie had fallen asleep in his arms. He looked over at Mae as she was getting the car seat ready for Sylvie. There was an easy grace about her, a gentleness that she exuded.

“Looks like you wore her out.” Mae said.

“That or it was the ice cream Darcy fed her.” James said. “Did the boys finish their shopping?”

“They did, I was annexed to another store so I couldn't see what they were purchasing. Tony, in all his glory gave them preloaded gift cards to use to shop with. I didn't think that they would have taken them, but Tony being Tony, insisted that they were being paid for decorating our home.” Mae said. She watched as James quietly placed Sylvie in the car seat without any hesitation. 

“That sounds like him, it's nice that we aren't on opposing sides now. I think Steve's a lot happier, he looks like it at least.” James said. “I already told them we were heading back soon, they boys should be coming with us.”

“I'll go grab them so we can get a move on.” Mae said as she pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips. 

“Sounds good, and if we're really lucky we can have some adult fun time later.” James said as he wagged his eye brows at her. 

“I wouldn't object.” Mae said as she went to find Viktor and Vincent. “Alright, we're loaded and ready to head home.”

“Well, shall we get this caravan on the road?” Rhodey asked.

“Sounds good to me, see you all at home. Boys?” Mae called. “Come on, we better head home while Sylvie is still asleep. Did you have fun today?”

“It was really great, the markets were pretty busy.” Vincent said.

“I found what I was looking for, but do we have wrapping paper?” Viktor asked.

“I believe we do.” Mae said. “I'll find some as soon as we get home okay?”

“I like hearing that.” Viktor said.

“Hearing what?” Mae asked.

“Home, it's nice having a home.” Viktor explained. 

“I like having a home filled with you four and our friends.” James chimed in, he raised Mae's hand and pressed a soft kiss to her palm. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, this was pretty much a fluff filled chapter that alluded to Christmas presents. Thank you for taking the time to read my work I do appreciate it! I want to personally thank Mel Connor for commenting on the last chapter, I appreciate hearing your take away on my work, it means so incredibly much to me! Thank you A, you always have a way of making me smile and I appreciate you commenting as well <3
> 
> I love hearing from those out there that read my work, the next chapter will be focused on the night before and the day of Christmas, there might be a surprise or two headed their way ;-)  
> Thank you again, if you want to message me, find me on tumblr bellenuit45 Thanks again for reading, commenting and kudoing me!!!


	21. Christmas in Sokovia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas time in Sokovia!!! FINALLY!!!! They have a wonderful evening preparing for the Christmas Day activities, you'll see everyone that's currently in Sokovia enjoying the festivities. There are plenty of fluffy moments and a little something naughty towards the end.

Mae had just finished wrapping the presents that she had picked up in the market. She sat in the middle of a minefield filled with wrapping paper, ribbons, bows, and small balls of tape. She had used different wrapping paper for each person, she had found the most garish Iron Man wrapping paper for Tony, she had used butchers paper for Steve, she found Nyan cat paper for Darcy, Brooklyn subway maps for James, Rhodey was stuck with Air Force wrapping paper, she had found beautiful stained glass themed wrapping paper for Wanda, Vincent's presents were wrapped in chemistry themed paper, Viktor had baseball themed paper, and Sylvie had incredibly sparkly wrapping paper with crowns on it. The glitter from Sylvie's wrapping paper dusted every available surface in a 5' radius. She heard James moving around in the kitchenette and she looked up and saw him standing off to the side with a look of mild shock on his face.

“Did you intend to glitter bomb our apartment?” James asked.

“Good intentions pave the way to hell my dear.” Mae said. 

“Good song.” James stated. “Want some help carrying these upstairs?”

“Yeah, that might be a good idea.” Mae said. “Did you have fun today?”

“I did.” James stated. “Steve and Darcy said they would help us get these all upstairs.”

“Good, are the kids asleep?” Mae asked.

“That they are, I helped them wrap some of the presents, I think Sylvie has a mild obsession with glitter tape.” James said as he pointed to his arm. “She made me, and I quote “festive”.”

“Well that was thoughtful of her.” Mae said as she stuffed the odds and ends into a trash bag. “Are we spoiling them too much?”

“Maybe a little, but they aren't bratty.” James said. “Steve's here.”

“So we're the elves right?” Darcy asked.

“I would say so, Darcy will you help me in the morning with brunch?” Mae asked.

“Totes. Let's get this stuff upstairs I have my own super soldier to debauch.” Darcy said with a wink.

“I swear she gets a rise outta watchin' me blush.” Steve said with a grin.

“Technically you're doin' the risin'.” James said with a smirk, he watched as Darcy lead Mae away with a tote of wrapped gifts. 

“So are you proposing tomorrow?” Steve asked.

“Guess you'll have to wait and see.” James said. “Think it's too soon?”

“Honestly? No. If I've learned anything, don't waste time, life is short.” Steve said. “Don't tell me you're nervous about proposing.”

“Might be, never done it before.” James said as he lifted two totes. 

“I don't think she'd say no, she's pretty dizzy for ya.” Steve said. “I think you've met your match with her.”

“I never dreamed I'd have someone like her, better than I deserve. She woulda been the kinda dame that I would've dreamed about, before the war, wouldn't have stood a chance, but woulda wanted her all the same.” James said resolutely. _**And yet here you are with her.**_ _Never thought I'd end up with a woman as beautiful on the outside as on the inside, and she's well educated. She's the kind of woman that wouldn't have given me the time of day when I was workin' at the docks._ _ **Are you sure about that? She fell for us after everything we've done, she gave us the time of day.**_

“I think you forgot how charming you were, honestly seeing you settle down has been an eye opener. Neither of us are those same punk kids outta Brooklyn, but we've done well for ourselves.” Steve said. 

“No we aren't, when are you gonna make an honest woman outta Darcy?” James asked. He watched as Steve rubbed the back of his neck, it always was his nervous tick.

“Well, I got the ring, used my Ma's ring and added to it.” Steve said as he handed James a small box. “Been carrying this with me for months.”

“What's the hold up?” James asked. “I remember your Ma wearing this ring, it's beautiful Steve.”

“I didn't want to step on your toes if you were planning on proposing tomorrow.” Steve said. “And thank you.”

“Stevie, I'm waiting until New Years. New Year, new beginnings.” James said.

“Darcy asked why we weren't up there helping stock the stockings, I guess Wanda is with them too.” Steve said. “That's great, I'm sure she will love it.”

“I hope so, here's the ring.” James said as he handed the box to Steve. “Darcy and Wanda helped me with it, they both approved. Costs a hell of a lot, but it's worth it.”

“Wow, that's beautiful.” Steve said. “I'm still surprised at how much everything costs.”

“If she says yes, then it'll be worth it.” James said. “Alright we should head upstairs, lord only knows what those three are plotting.”

* * *

 

Darcy had arranged all the gifts under the tree, there was already quite a spread laid out. She watched as Mae added little odds and ends to the stockings. The lights on the tree cast the room in a festive glow, beyond the window a light sprinkling of snow decorated the tops of the buildings. She turned and saw that Wanda was talking quietly with Mae, Wanda was excitedly telling her something, her hands moving to express herself further. 

“What are you ladies talking about?” Darcy asked.

“We were discussing possible gifts for everyone here. Making a game out of it.” Mae said.

“I already know some of the things you're getting for Christmas.” Darcy said with a wink.

“Don't tell me! I actually enjoy being surprised. I don't see James as been a moon boots, and crock-pot kind of guy.” Mae said with a smile.

“Moon boots?” Wanda asked.

“Really ugly cold weather boots, they look like astronaut boots.” Darcy said with a small shudder. 

“Why would someone give someone them?” Wanda asked. “If they're as ugly as you say.”

“Men, men get things like that because they don't put any thought into it. What woman wants to get shoes from their man? I mean unless it's for sexy times, then sure that has the potential to be fun.” Darcy said. “Speaking of Mae, you know when you did that descending angel move?”

“Why do I have a feeling that this is going to bite me when I say yes.” Mae said.

“Well, you used to take the advanced classes right?” Darcy inquired.

“I did, it was a really great work out, toned my core.” Mae said.

“Can you teach me? I want to surprise Steve.” Darcy said. “I figured I could probably do some easy pole moves along with giving him a lap dance for New Years.”

“I am sure he'll love that.” Wanda said. “Though he may resemble a tomato when you're done.”

“Surprisingly, he is not as vanilla as I would have originally though.” Darcy stated. “The mouth on that man alone!”

“Remember when we all heard the story about him saying, and I quote, 'language'?” Mae asked.

“Oddly enough, not the case in the bedroom.” Darcy said. 

“Then yes, I can teach you. Wanda want to join us?” Mae asked.

“I don't know, I am not the best dancer.” Wanda said.

“Come now, all in good fun and it helped me with finding my rhythm.” Mae stated. 

“Fine we will make a girls day of it.” Wanda said with a small smile. 

“Ladies?” Steve said with a smile.

“Gents.” Darcy snarked. “As you can see we've already laid out all the presents, we already programmed the ovens so breakfast will cook as planned.”

“Women, always better at planning the details.” James said as he leaned in for a kiss. 

“There's hot chocolate brewing right now, Tony and Rhodey are heading down. I thought we, as adults could enjoy a cup before we go to bed.” Mae said. 

“Are there...” James started to ask.

“Three different kinds of cookies were baked they are next to the pot of hot chocolate. You two have to share with Tony and Rhodey.” Darcy replied. “No gulping them down like a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos ®.”

“That was invented after your time.” Mae said as she leaned into James' embrace.

“It's a game, you hit a button on a hippo that gulps a marble, the object of the game is to 'eat' as many marbles before they run out. Pretty much what happens when you guys eat.” Darcy stated. “I wonder if Tony could make it Super Soldier Proof.”

“Why would I need to make a game Super Soldier Proof?” Tony asked.

“Flappy Bird, Angry Birds, do I need to explain any further?” Darcy asked. 

“Well stated. I was promised cookies, and hot chocolate.” Tony said. 

“And we have them Tony, everyone to the kitchen.” Mae said. “I wanted to thank all of you, you've made this Christmas something to be in awe of. I think we all needed a real holiday, to remind us that we're all we have, and with that being said that means that we need to rely on each other. So raise your mugs, and let us issue our own cheer and thanks for another year we've survived. To family.”

“To family.” Everyone said in return. 

Darcy put on a variety of modern and classic renditions of Christmas songs, Tony lit the fireplace while Rhodey danced with Wanda. Steve stood next to James, they were quietly reminiscing about the holidays growing up. Darcy and Mae were taking turns spinning each other around the room, their laughter was infectious. The various lights added to the glow of the holidays, Steve couldn't remember being more at peace. He watched as James politely cut in and spun Mae around the room, the look of mutual adoration shone brightly in their eyes. He watched as his friend threw Mae a smirk as he dipped her low, she pulled herself up and laid a tender kiss to his lips. Sinatra's voice carried through the living room, he hadn't heard this particular rendition before. 

_ Have yourself a merry little Christmas let your heart be light, _

_ From now on our troubles will be out of sight. _

_ Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yuletide gay. _

_ From now on our troubles will be miles away,  _

_ Here we are as in olden days happy golden days of yours. _

_ Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more.  _

_ Through the years, we all will be together.  _

_ If the fates allow, hang a shining star upon the highest bough, _

_ And have yourself a Merry Little Christmas now. _

Steve smiled at Darcy, he pressed a soft kiss to her temple before he pulled her against his chest.

“Dance with me sweetheart?” Steve asked. He looked over at Bucky and smiled and nodded towards him. 

“Thought you'd never ask.” Darcy said. 

“James, dance with Wanda please.” Mae asked. 

“You got it doll.” James said.

Mae watched as Wanda smiled as James spun her around the room, for as big a man as he was, he retained the grace that made him an exceptional dancer. Wanda was light on her feet, easily being spun around by James. She looked over at her friends, they were all smiling brightly,  _this is what the holidays are all about, appreciating those you hold dear._

“Rhodey, you're due for a check up.” Mae stated. 

“I know that's part of the reason I'm here.” Rhodey said.

“Well, do you have any lingering pain? Loss of movement?” Mae asked.

“A little pain when I first wake up, otherwise I'm good.” Rhodey said. “I appreciate everything you've done for me, I never thought I'd walk again.”

“You are very welcome, I'm glad that you're okay. I think you need another infusion, how bad is the pain?” Mae asked.

“It's manageable, but prevalent.” Rhodey admitted. 

“Well why don't we aim for the day after Christmas?” Mae asked.

“I'll have to check my schedule.” Rhodey said with a smile. “That'll be fine.”

“Good, I think after two more transfusions, you'll be fully healed.” Mae said with a smile. 

“Your technology will help a lot of victims in the world.” Rhodey said. 

“I start the first clinical trials after the New Year. Most are either veterans that lost their mobility from combat, or people that suffer from nerve and musculature apathy.” Mae said. 

“I have faith in you, and in Tony.” Rhodey said. “You're good at guiding him, he's less manic than he was before.”

“Thank you, well I think it's about time to go to bed, you know they'll be up early.” Mae said. “Tony has so much potential, he needs to remind himself why he does what he does.”

“I agree with you there, sometimes the worst part of him is the best. When he's focused and driven, he can accomplish anything.” Rhodey said. “Think Tony or the kids will be up first?”

“Honestly, I'm not sure if Tony will sleep a whole lot. So I guess we'll see.” Mae said with a smile. “James are you ready for bed?”

“Absolutely doll, I am more than ready for bed.” James said with a lavacious wink. “Wanda, thank you for dancing with me.”

“Anytime, you're very light on your feet.” Wanda said with a soft smile. She blushed lightly, and pushed him towards Mae. “Go, you shouldn't keep a beautiful woman waiting.”

“Ain't that the truth, see you tomorrow morning Wanda.” James said as he sauntered over towards Mae. “Shall we?”

“You realize that she can read minds right? She was blushing, so just what were you thinking about?” Mae asked as the made their way to the elevator. 

“To be honest, I was thinking about doin' this.” James said as he pushed her up against the elevator wall. He bracketed her body with his, he held her hands above her head as he slowly began kissing and nipping along the length of her neck. His other hand delved between her legs, slowly sliding her panties down her legs until the were hooked around her ankles. He made eye contact with her before he pulled them off of her, he winked as he slipped them into his pocket. “Finders keepers.”

“Good morning beautiful.” James said as he pressed a kiss to Mae's shoulder. He slipped a small box into her hands, he watched as her eyes slowly blinked awake. “The kids are upstairs already sitting down very impatiently, think they're waiting for us.”

“Why didn't you get me up earlier?” Mae asked.

“I enjoy seeing you at peace, and it's my fault that I kept you up so late.” James said. “I love you.”

“Love you too James.” Mae said as she sat up. “What's this?”

“Something I wanted to give you before we met with everyone.” James said. 

“That was very thoughtful of you, there's something for you too. Let me go to the bathroom and I'll get it.” Mae said. She met his deep blue eyes, so intense in their gaze, they sparkled with a humorous light. She left the bed and opened a drawer in the vanity, she pulled out the small box that she had hid. After she finished washing up she met James back in their room, he was lounging out across their bed, he watched her walk towards him before she sat down. “This is for you.”

“Wanna open em at the same time?” James asked. 

“We can do that. Ready? One, two, three.” Mae said. As she opened the box she saw that nestled inside the box was a ring, a bright blue star was nestled between the band which was enhanced with a row of diamonds. She looked up at James, he was still looking down at the gift she gave him. “James?”

“Where, where did you get these?” James asked. He met her eyes and saw that they held undshed tears, she was smiling brightly, he looked down and remembered that she was holding a ring. “It isn't that type of ring, not yet at least, but I saw it and it reminded me of you. My eternal star.”

“I looked for your dog tags, tried to find them, your originals. You can thank Natasha, she found part of them and I had Tony forge them for me. We made them stronger than your old tags, and there's a few details I also added.” Mae said. 

“Thank you.” James said as he slid them over his neck. He reached out to touch her hand, he held the ring up and slide it over her middle finger on her right hand. “Don't think that this is the last ring I intend on putting on your finger either.”

“Is that so?” Mae asked.

“Absolutely.” James said as he kissed her deeply. “навсегда и всегда будешь моей яркая звезда.”{Forever and always, you'll be my shining star}

“Forever and always.” Mae replied. “I can hear both of our phones buzzing they are getting impatient.”

“Yeah I'm sure they are, come on doll, lets go kick off Christmas.” James said as he kissed her gently.

* * *

 

“Mae!” Vincent called as he ran up to hug her. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas indeed, good morning sweetheart.” Mae replied the other children crowded around her, each waiting for a hug. “Good morning everyone, why don't we go to the living room and we'll open our stockings.”

“Coffee for you, and coffee for you.” Darcy said as she yawned. 

“Thanks Darcy, the sun is barely up, what time is it?” Mae asked.

“It's almost 7:00, I'm pretty sure they waited until 6 before they came up here.” Darcy said. “They brewed the coffee and set the table, I don't think I've ever seen anyone so excited.”

“One of the traditions I grew up with, was eating an orange before we opened our stockings.” James stated.

“Why?” Sylvie asked.

“Well, when Steve and grew up money was really tight, and an orange was a real treat, we couldn't get fresh fruit like we can now. My Ma saved up to buy one for each child, I always tried to get her to eat some of mine, but she was adamant that it was mine.” James said, a wistful look passed over his face before he looked towards Sylvie. 

“Can I share my orange with you?” Sylvie politely asked. 

“How about I give you half of mine, and you give me half of yours. That way we both share it with each other?” James asked.

“Okay, that sounds okay.” Sylvie said, she sat in his lap as he peeled the oranges. 

“Aren't oranges good luck?” Tony asked.

“That they are.” Rhodey added.

“I remember the first orange I had, it was so sweet and tangy.” Wanda said with a smile. 

Viktor was peeling his orange, he looked up and saw that Mae was taking various photos of their family. He made sure to smile at her as she took his photo, she leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of his head.

“Merry Christmas sweetheart, I'm glad you're here with us.” Mae said. 

“I'm happy too, we haven't celebrated Christmas in a long time. Thank you.” Viktor replied.

“You're very welcome darling.” Mae said. She passed a trash bin around for the orange peels. “Since we've all eaten our oranges lets begin with the stockings, I have to get breakfast pulled out of the oven.”

“Want some help?” Darcy asked, she had a pair of reindeer antlers on her head, her socks had bells and jingled merrily as she walked towards the kitchen.

“Thanks Darcy I appreciate it.” Mae said. 

“Wow, that is a beautiful ring!” Darcy exclaimed.

“Thank you, James surprised me with it this morning.” Mae said softly. “Eternal star is engraved in the band. He's very thoughtful, I am very lucky to have him.”

“He is very thoughtful, too bad every woman can't have a man from the 40's. They don't know what they're missing.” Darcy said as she pulled out baked french toast. “Not that I'd ever share, cause lets face it...our men, are catches.”

“I couldn't agree more, look at them. All of them, they've had precious little to celebrate these last few years. I see them all as such strong people, that have endured more than I thought possible. And some how they have remained good people, sometimes they get lost, but they remain good people.” Mae said. 

She watched as Tony held Sylvie, he bounced her on his hip as the opened up the stockings. She was hugging his neck tightly when she got Avenger's glitter stickers. She was animatedly talking about each character, she stuck an Iron Man sticker on her shirt proudly saying that he was the shiniest. Vincent was discussing something with James while Viktor and Steve wrapped each other up in scarves. 

“It takes a village.” Darcy said. 

“I like our village, should we just lay it out buffet style?” Mae asked.

“Too bad we don't have wands to keep this stuff hot.” Darcy lamented. 

“I have warming trays, but that would be so handy.” Mae said. “I got the kids the box set, so they can watch it. I figured it would be a fun evening of fun, or a weekend.”

“Right?! Oh my God....we need to order them capes, and wands and everything.” Darcy said as she set the food down on the dining room table. 

“NO CAPES!” Tony yelled. “Wands are okay.”

“Calm down Edna.” Darcy replied. She plopped down across Steve's lap and began digging through her stocking. Tony had given every lady a nice set of earrings and necklace, the men got watches. “Tony these are beautiful, thank you.”

“You are welcome, the jewelry that I gave you ladies, well it belonged to my mother. Seeing as I don't have a wife, or kids to pass them onto, I thought they belonged with you. I consider you my family.” Tony said. He pulled out a bejeweled tiara and placed it on Sylvie. “Every little girl should feel like a princess.”

Mae walked over and engulfed Tony in a strong hug, she knew that anything revolving around the holidays or with the idea of a family made Tony a little skittish. She also knew that he was closer with his mother than his father, him gifting her jewelry showed how much he felt for those in his life. Sylvie was still clinging to his hip, her little arms were wrapped soundly around his neck.  _She is going to be so loved and cherished, between us and then our friends these children will know what the word family truly means._

“Thank you Tony, that was not only generous of you, but incredibly heart felt.” Mae said as she kissed his cheek. “Sylvie you really do look like a princess.”

“Thank you, now all I need is a specter.” Sylvie said with a smile.

“A scepter, we can work on that.” Tony said. “Steve, I thought you'd recognize that watch, I found it with Dad's old junk.”

“Yeah, he created them for all the Commando's.” Steve said as he ran his thumb over the face of the watch. 

“Barnes, yours was unfortunately lost, but this one might help you more anyways.” Tony said as he handed James a box. He watched as James' eyebrows canted towards his hair line. “I found a watch made for snipers, but the battery was crap, the components were personally offending. So, it's water proof, it'll calculate windage and elevation, it has GPS, and can function as a communication device as well.”

“Tony, thank you. I appreciate it.” James said. 

“Your welcome.” Tony said. “That didn't even hurt for me to say.”

“Um, good.” James said awkwardly. 

“Tony, those aren't real gauntlets right?” Mae asked as she watched Vincent and Viktor fiddle with the gloves that Tony had made them.

“Define _real._ They aren't really repulsor's, at least not like full power.” Tony said. “I'm kidding, don't give me that look, I'm not a total idiot. They provide a very high pitched sound that will disrupt an assailants concentration. They look like a basic leather bracelet until you fold them out, just in case someone tried to you know mug them or something.”

“That is very thoughtful of you, and with great power comes great responsibility. So you get to train them to use them, and if I _**EVER**_ see you using them for anything other than true self defense, I promise you will regret it. Do I make myself very clear?” Mae asked in a no nonsense tone.

“Yes ma'am.” Both boys said.

“Tony?” Mae asked.

“Yes ma'am.” Tony said with a smile. “You know that Mom tone is kind of...”

“Say it and I'll end you.” Mae said with a mischievous smile.

“Zipping it.” Tony said. “And with that being said, shall we eat?”

“Tony, thank you.” Wanda said as she held up the delicate necklace, the deep red gems were the same crimson color that her hexes manifested as. 

“You're very welcome, I thought they would look nice with your coloration.” Tony said. He motioned for her to turn around as he set the clasp. “You look beautiful.”

Wanda said nothing and chose to hug him tightly, she felt him stiffen at first before he relaxed into the hug. 

“Come on old man, time to eat.” Wanda said jokingly. 

“Technically isn't Buck here the oldest?” Tony asked.

“Well, if you don't account the time Steve or I were in the ice then yes, I am the oldest one here.” James said. “I'm almost 100 years old.”

“Well you look pretty spry for a man of your age.” Tony said as he watched Steve roll his eyes.

“Yeah, you know, Pilates.” James said in a droll tone. “Keeps me young.”

“Is he kidding? I literally cannot tell if he's kidding or not.” Tony said. “Spangles told you didn't he.”

“Steve what's he goin' on about?” James asked as he winked at Mae.

“I swear, there's two of you now.” Steve said as he shook his head. “I am not settling this one.”

“Okay let's all sit down and eat while it's warm. Presents will follow.” Darcy said. 

“Thank you Lord for the food on our table, for the roof over our heads, and the love we share with each other. May those in need of shelter, in need of food, and in need of kindness find them. In your name we pray, amen.” Mae said. A chorus of 'amens' rose across the table. “Shall we all tuck in?”

“Yes, ladies the food looks wonderful.” Rhodey said. “Home cooking, now I'm getting spoiled.”

“It was our pleasure.” Wanda said.

* * *

 

“I don't think they expected so many gifts.” Mae said as she watched them play with the various things that they had received.

“You know that Tony set up a lab for the varied experiments.” James said.

“He does realize that they are children right?” Mae asked.

“Well sometimes he has the collective maturity that they express.” Darcy said. She snorted slightly when she saw that Rhodey and Tony were both being shot with the Avengers Nerf guns. “And, I've set up plenty of security protocols to ensure their safety.”

“Thank you Darcy, I appreciate it.” Mae said. She felt James' hands trace her collarbones as he stood behind her, when his hands moved away she felt a slight weight land on her chest. She looked down and saw a stunning snowflake hanging from a delicate chain. “James, you're going to spoil me, thank you.”

“Yes, you and Tony have spoiled us ladies.” Wanda said with a smile. She had slipped on the rings that James had given her. “Thank you, these are all beautiful, I love the arrows, they remind me of Clint.”

“You're very welcome sweetheart, I'm glad you like them.” James said. He watched as Steve patiently stood near the tree, his hands were idle, he kept either running them through his hair or rubbing his neck awkwardly. “Steve?”

“Yeah Buck?” Steve asked.

“You okay?” James asked. _**He's nervous.**_ _Not like he's done this before, I still see that skinny kid that was too stupid to run away from a fight._ _ **Maybe this is a fight he doesn't need to run from.**_

“Yeah, hey Darce can you help me find something?” Steve asked. 

“Your wish is my command Cap.” Darcy said. “What do we need to find?”

“There's a pop tart ornament some where on the tree, will you help me find it?” Steve asked. 

“Aww, you got me a special ornament?” Darcy asked.

“I did, but I haven't seen it on the tree.” Steve said with a shy smile. “Come here.”

Steve gently picked her up so she could see the various ornaments towards the top of the tree. He made sure that he put it high enough on the tree so she'd actively have to find it. He watched as Bucky sat with Sylvie in his lap, he was reading to her, tickling her in between pages. He remembered Bucky wanting a family, wanting that peace, a calmness that decorated his features reminded him of a conversation he had with Bucky before he fell from the train. 

\---- _flashback----_

“ _Ever think about it?” Bucky asked Steve while they patrolled._

“ _You mean after the war?” Steve asked._

“ _Yeah, settlin' down, startin' a family?” Bucky asked._

“ _Yeah, I think about it. I'm not sure where my place will be after the war, I was created to fight, where do I go from here?” Steve asked._

“ _You weren't created for war Steve, you could do whatever you wanted after this shit is over. Marry Carter, pop out a few kids, that sort of thing.” Bucky said cynically._

“ _Buck, what's gotten into you?” Steve asked. He knew that Bucky was still struggling with whatever had happened to him in Azzano, his haunted face often depicted what he had survived._

“ _Just thinkin', after all of this I wouldn't mind settlin' down, find a dame that wants the same things outta life.” Bucky said wistfully. “I'm tired of this Steve, I want my quiet patch of land, with a woman to love.”_

“ _Buck, this won't be forever.” Steve said. “I've never heard you really talk about settling down.”_

“ _I'm not the same guy that left Brooklyn, you aren't either Steve.” Bucky said seriously. He lit a cigarette as the continued walking._

“ _You're right, what would you want in a woman. Not talkin' 'bout her physical attributes either.” Steve said with a smirk._

“ _She'd have to have a sense of humor, I'd want her to be smart, the kind of dame that spins my head around. Kind hearted, witty, nothin' gets past her. I want to feel like all the air is sucked outta my lungs when we're in the same room.” Bucky said softly. His blue eyes were unfocused, staring at something only he could see. “Don't know if she even exists, but that's what I'd want. I'd want her to bring me peace, erase what we've seen, I chose to fight because it was the right thing to do. Now? I just want to go home Steve.”_

“ _You will Buck, we both will.” Steve said as he placed a hand on his friends shoulder._

_Unfortunately for both men, neither of them would be going home._

_\----flashback end----_

“Found it!” Darcy exclaimed as she reached out to snag it off the tree. “Steve?”

“Darcy Marie Lewis, would you do the honor of becoming my wife?” Steve asked. He was keeling down before her, smiling up at her. He vaguely saw the flash of a camera as he waited with baited breath for her answer.

A few stunned moments passed before Darcy met his gaze. 

“Steve.” Darcy said, tears were shining in her eyes. “Yes, I'll marry you.”

A few cheers rose from their friends as Steve stood up, he pulled her into a passionate kiss, dipping her in front of their friends. 

“You have made me the happiest man alive.” Steve said.

“Now we gotta just keep you in one piece leading up to our wedding. Which by the way, will not be done in your very traditional colors.” Darcy said. “Janie is never going to believe this, wait did you like ask Thor for his okay on this??”

“I did talk to Thor, and he gave me permission, and I can concede that.” Steve said as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, he watched as Bucky nodded towards him with a broad smile on his face. _Looks like we both get our happily ever after._

* * *

 

“Are they tuckered out?” James asked. He watched as Mae tapped a few things on her tablet, he had overheard her speaking with Rhodey about another transfusion to help fully heal him, and he knew that she was worried about the upcoming trials that she was going to be running. 

“Mmm, that they are. I'm sorry that I had to leave the snow fight early.” Mae said. “They are all asleep, I think the 3 hour stint in the snow wore them out. Sylvie didn't even complain with the impromptu bath after dinner.”

“I thought she was going to fall asleep while she was eating.” James said as he pulled off his sweatshirt. “I'm going to shower, then I thought we could make use of the fireplace in our room.”

“So, what you're saying is that you wanna see me naked under the glow of the fire place?” Mae asked.

“Darlin' it's like you can read my mind.” James said as he pulled his shirt over his head. He sauntered over to where she was sitting, his belt buckle was undone, and his fly was partially unzipped. “You are so beautiful, sometimes, I'm amazed that you're by my side.”

“James.” Mae said as she looked up through her lashes. She leaned over and ran her lips along the edge of his hip bone, she licked the sharp contour of his Adonis belt, biting into the flesh under her teeth. She felt his hands tangle in her hair as he moaned, he stroked her cheek before he pulled her up against him. “You are going to need a shower before we do anything with less clothing.”

“Tease.” James said with a smirk. “Love gettin' you all worked up doll.”

“Go shower.” Mae said as she swatted his ass.

“Yes ma'am!” James said as he came to full attention and snapped off a jaunty salute.

“You are such a little shit.” Mae said as she watched him walk away. 

As soon as she heard the shower start she quickly went over to their closet, she had been saving a few special articles of clothing as a surprise for him. She pulled out a pair of stilettos, and began shedding her clothing. She heard the shower turn off,  _the one time he could have taken a shower longer than 5 minutes_ , she quickly slipped into a bralette before discarding her skirt. She left her garter belt on slipped on a new pair of thigh highs. She could hear the sounds of him shaving and brushing his teeth, she had maybe 2 minutes before he was done. She slipped into her shoes and made her way to their fire place, she ignited the fireplace. 

James quickly snuck out of the bathroom, he had heard her turn on the fireplace, and he drank in her appearance. He felt his jaw go slack, she was standing tall on a pair of stiletto's, his gaze traveled up her legs, he saw that her thigh highs were held by a garter belt.  _Guess she remembered that we enjoyed seeing her in those._ He pulled her back against his chest, nipping along her neck, biting into the soft flesh of her throat.  _**Ours. She is ours.** _ He felt the thin chain of necklace against his lips, he smiled against her neck.

“You look absolutely breath taking.” James said, his hands traced down her arms until he reached her hands. He slipped his hands over hers and pulled them up around his neck. _**She is perfect. Our beloved star.**_ _You do know in some ways you're more poetic than I am._ _ **True, I suppose I am.**_ He unbuttoned the jacket she had worn earlier, sliding the silken material down her arms until all that was left was a simple nude and black lace bralette. He began peppering kisses along her neck. “I could eat you alive.”

“I wouldn't stop you.” Mae said. She moaned as he slid the straps of her bra down. With her stiletto's on she could easily wrap her arms around his neck, she ran her fingers through the shorter portions of his hair while his mouth and fingers danced across her decolletage. He unsnapped her bra with one hand, making her laugh lightly. “I shouldn't be surprised that you're rather adept at undressing a woman.”

“Not just a woman, you're **mine** and you're unlike any woman I've ever met.” James said. He cupped her supple breasts in his hands, rolling her nipples as he felt the firm weight of her breasts in his ample hands. He tweaked the firm buds of her nipples earning him a low gasp followed by a moan. His lips worked her neck, dragging the tip of his tongue across her pulse point, he used his lips to caress and tease her. “If I reach down between your legs, am I going to find you soaking wet?”

“James.” Mae moaned out, she could feel his engorged cock pressed firmly against her ass. “I think you know the answer to your question.”

Using the tips of his fingers, he traced her abdomen before he began sliding her panties down her legs. He pressed a kiss to the dimples on her lower back, he stood up behind her pressing his mechanical hand to the small of her back. He quickly spanked her, once on each cheek, his flesh hand smoothed the tender skin. 

“Sass me again, and I'll make your ass glow cherry red.” James growled into her ear. He wound her thick locks around his hand, tugging lightly until her body was parallel to his. 

“Is that a promise Sergeant?” Mae asked.

“You're damn right it is.” James said. “I want to see you spread out on the floor.”

“You wish is my command.” Mae said as she turned around. “How about you sit down, and I make you feel like you're on top of the world.”

“Now you're talkin' sweetheart.” James said with a smirk. “Any time I get you on top of me, I'm game.”

“Typical man.” Mae said as she slid over his cock, until she was hovering directly above him. “Only worried about his end game.”

“Oh sweetheart, you're goin' to wish you didn't say that.” James said. He admired her, her eyes were grazing every inch of his chest, he felt her fingers dig into his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her waist before he flipped her and pinned her hands above her hands. “If you wanted my attention, consider me fully **at** attention for you.”

“That was cheesy.” Mae said with a smile. “I love you James.”

“I love you too, still gonna pay for that comment.” James said as he reached down and slipped two of his mechanical fingers into her warm heat. _Careful._ _ **I'd never hurt her. Look at her, she's enjoyin' it.**_ Her eyes were half lidded, her legs spread before him. “Feel good?”

“Oh god yes!” Mae cried out as he stroked the rough ridge inside of her, his fingers tweaked and stroked her until he got her to hover right on the edge. 

“Beg for it.” James said. He quickened his pace, edging her higher and higher. He felt her soft walls clenching tight around his fingers. _**Better than Stark, couldn't feel like this before.**_ _She's close._ _ **She's going to need to earn it first.**_ “Come on doll, beg for me. I feel your tight cunt, you're so close, give in. Beg for it.”

“James please.” Mae begged. She felt his fingers twitch inside her stroking her exactly where she needed it. 

“You can do better than tha' baby doll.” James said. “Describe exactly what you want baby doll, and maybe if you're a good girl, I'll give it to ya.”

“I want to feel your lips, tongue and teeth bring me over the edge. I want to feel your fingers drip because you made me come so hard. I want one of your hands wrapped around my throat, so you can feel my pulse jump in my neck as I scream your name.” Mae said. Every word made his fingers jump inside her, she felt him stroke her fervently, working her into a frenzy. “Please James, please!”

“That's it baby girl, almost there I can feel it.” James said as he smirked down at her. “Spread those pretty legs for me, I want to see you gush all over my fingers.”

“James I'm so close, please make me come!” Mae cried out. 

“Your wish, truly is, my command.” James said. “Come for me. Come on doll, gotta feel you come hard around my fingers baby doll.”

He leaned down and began working her over, flicking his tongue across her clit, he lapped up her slick arousal.  _Like Heaven, she tastes like fuckin' heaven._ _**Enough teasing, let's make her come.** _ He resumed tonguing her, alternating between light flicks and rough nips with his lips. He kept building her higher and higher until her back bowed and he felt her legs begin to shake.  _That's it, almost there baby girl, almost there._ His began fucking her with his fingers, curling his fingers upwards, he began working that small spot inside of her. He felt her walls clench over and over, she was soaking wet; between the work his mouth had accomplished, and the way his fingers tightly circled on her g-spot, he knew she was close. With one last flick of his tongue he felt her body surge against his, she came with a rush of silken wetness, drenching his fingers and chin. He gently lapped up her release, he felt her legs shaking beneath him, he looked up at her and saw that she was slowly coming down from her orgasm. 

“Now what was that about me only bein' concerned with my end game?” James asked.

“I clearly stand corrected.” Mae said as she pulled him down for a kiss. She licked the seam of his lips, nibbling on his bottom lip, that alone earned her a soft moan. “Need you in me.”

“Music to my ears.” James said, he lined himself up with her entrance, he stroked her opening with the tip of his cock, watching her eyes blown with lust. He reached behind him to grab her ankle, lifting her leg until it was above his shoulders. He wrapped her other leg around his waist, using that leverage to thrust deeply into her. Her lips made a silent 'o' as he pushed himself into her until he bottomed out. “Damn doll, always so tight for me.”

He pulled her tightly against him, grinding down into her. He watched her chest heave slightly as he continued his languid pace. He threw his head back, taking in every slick slide of his cock in her soaking cunt.  _**Harder.** _ _Not yet. Be patient._ _**Hard to when all I can feel is her tight cunt wrapped around me. Fuck!** _

“Stand up and lean against the wall.” James commanded. “No, face the wall, hands behind your back.”

He reached out and grabbed her wrists in his hand, he shoved her against the wall, not hard enough to hurt her, but enough to remind her who was in charge. He began slowly thrusting back into her, with every stroke he pushed himself deeper.

“That's it, wish you could see just how well you're takin' me.” James said. He threw his head back nearly losing himself in her. He let go of her wrists, grabbing onto her waist, with a quick spin he had her back pinned against the wall. A look of shock crossed her face, she grabbed his shoulders as he quickened his pace, pounding relentlessly into her. “Close baby doll, I wanna feel you come one more time on me.”

“James please so close.” Mae whimpered out, her body was a riot of energy. Pleasure and pain swirled across her, tightening and coiling until she exploded around him. Her head was thrown back as she came, her walls gripping and pulsing around him. “James!”

“Gonna fill you up.” James said, he pace became more driven, three rough thrusts and he came. His eyes were half open as he watched her lips move, a low ringing filled his ears.

“That was amazing.” Mae said, she looked fully sated, her cheeks were rosy in color and her eyes shone. He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to her lips, tasting the lips and tongue. 

“Merry Christmas Mae.” James said. 

“Merry Christmas James, I love you.” Mae said. 

“I love you too beautiful, been a real long time since I had a good one.” James said, he carried her to the bathroom and helped her clean up the evidence of their coupling. “Come on doll, let's go to bed, all I want now is to feel you in my arms.”

“That sounds perfect to me.” Mae said as she snuggled up against his chest. Her eyes almost immediately began drooping. “Sweet dreams James.”

“Сладкие сны Вам тоже, моя вечная звезда.” James said as he kissed her temple. { Sweet dreams too, my eternal star.}

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! I really do appreciate every single one of you that take the time to read my work. Thank you for commenting and kudoing me, seriously a comment is like winning the writing lotto, I'd love to hear from you, you can find me on tumblr too bellenuit45 I swear I'm friendly. Thank you to a few of my good friends for keeping me motivated, I really have suffered from writers block, I hopefully broke through it with this last chapter. Thank you for being so patient it means a lot to me!!
> 
> Send me an ask, or a message! I'm kinda wanting to do a few Shorts, shoot me some ideas =)


	22. This is Gonna Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mae begins finalizing her upcoming clinical trials, she and Darcy both work on getting everything set up for their arrival. Mae and James have an important conversation regarding her work. Rhodey goes in for a physical. Plot, fluff.

“Listen up, listen up  
There's a devil in the church  
Got a bullet in the chamber  
And this is gonna hurt  
Let it out, let it out  
You can scream and you can shout  
Keep your secrets in the shadows and you'll be sorry”

 

[This is Gonna Hurt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsdMleQRiEo&index=55&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&shuffle=235)

Mae sat in her lab preparing the rest of the nanites for Rhodey. He wasn't receiving the Super Soldier Serum like James did, it was based off of it, but tweaked so it would heal him without giving him any of the other side affects.  _Better start hiring a few extra hands, I wonder if some of my previous assistants would be interested in working here. Claire would, and she speaks Romanian so that would be a huge help with the local population, but she has Mel so moving her child across international boarders may be harder than just transferring for a new job. I almost need a PA to help keep all the data for the clinical trials together and collate them. Sam wouldn't be a bad addition, he was competent and fairly good at rolling with the punches. Back to my original task, binding the serum with corticosteroids, they'll repress the immune system enough to help with the inflammation, but they could raise his sodium retention as well. Decisions, decisions. Best run a full blood panel on the off chance that his sodium levels are already too high to use a corticosteroid._

** \-- _Need to run a full blood panel on you before we move further along. -Mae_ **

** _\--Understood, I can be to your lab in a few moments.-Rhodey_ **

** _\--Okay, I'm pulling up the files now and cross referencing them with the estimated data we gathered over the last few injections.-Mae_ **

** _\--See you in 5.-Rhodey_ **

“Knocky knocky.” Darcy said.

“Darcy how are you?” Mae asked.

“Pretty good, engaged and all!” Darcy said as she waved her engagement ring around. “But, that's not why I'm here, you need a lab manager.”

“That I do, I haven't formally asked anyone yet, I have to contact a few of my former employees.” Mae said.

“Well, consider me your temporary lab manager, I have to say I am pretty decent at it.” Darcy said. “And we'll be here for a while so I need something to do, or I tend to get arrested.”

“Consider yourself hired, I would hate to have to bail you out of jail. You'll get Steve’s' patented 'I am disappointed in you look'; I have a few people that I desperately need to either beg, borrow, or steal from their current employers.” Mae said. “Two of them are still working for Stark subsidiaries, so at least I know where they are.”

“Tony wouldn't care if you relocated them back into your own department.” Darcy stated.

“Their families may not want to relocate to another country, Claire was probably my right hand, but her daughter Mel is in the middle of school, and moving her is the issue.” Mae said. 

“I'll make her an offer she can't refuse.” Darcy said in a very bad impersonation of the Godfather. 

“Darcy I'm keeping you, Steve can organize custody with me.” Mae said with a laugh. “Really though thank you, there are several case studies I need you to cross reference in terms of severity of their illnesses. Rhodey is heading down now to get his blood work started, if his sodium counts are too elevated then I'll have to rework the serum and not bind it with the corticosteroids.”

“Well at least you're slightly easier to understand compared to Janie. I understood sodium, serum, and I heard steroids give you rage.” Darcy said.

“Darcy, you understand far more than you let on. You're a highly intelligent woman, never downplay your brilliance.” Mae said.

“Natasha would say that my intelligence is my strength, and that I should keep it under wraps, as a back up.” Darcy said.

“I forgot that she was training you at one point, well, in this setting your intelligence is going to be something you're going to need to rely on.” Mae said with an astute glare.

“Even if the only science I did was a soft science?” Darcy asked.

“If you're able to tolerate the absolute idiocy that are politicians and their veiled agenda's I think you'll be able to understand my write ups.” Mae said. “Just because you didn't major in a STEM field, doesn't mean you aren't capable of understanding. I think you know much more than you think, have a little faith in yourself Darcy.” 

“I do appreciate what you're saying and I probably did pick up something while I interned with Jane.” Darcy said as she reviewed the files Mae handed her. “So what's the time frame here? How many people do you think you'll need?”

“This week I'm supposed to be narrowing down candidates, so I have to go through their evaluations and build individual profiles on each of them. Full work up, psych/physical/emotional. All of it.” Mae said. “As for hiring more staff, I probably need at least three assistants, two of which need an actual medical background including but not limited to having worked in a laboratory. I would need them to let me know if they will sign on by the end of the week, and they would need to be here no later than 2 weeks from today.”

“Well we can definitely work with that deadline, I'll get started on finding you workers, then I'll get started on everything else.” Darcy said. “I'm claiming this desk.”

“Rhodey should be here soon, thank you Darcy.” Mae said as she began washing up.

“What are friends for?” Darcy said as she began her work.

“Well do you want the good news or the bad news first?” Mae asked. She watched as Rhodey's face fell slightly. “Your HDL levels are higher than I'd like, but outside of that you're looking like you're in good shape.”

“So less red meat, more exercise?” Rhodey joked.

“Less food with the bad cholesterol in them, at least you'll listen to me better than Tony.” Mae said. “I had to tranquilize him for his first physical.”

“So when can we schedule the injections?” Rhodey asked.

“First off, how are you feeling? Any new symptoms or problems?” Mae asked.

“I'm still getting some tingling and I shake occasionally.” Rhodey said.

“Well your potassium levels are a little low, you can either start making those juice drinks Tony enjoys, or take a supplement. The tingling is from the nanties repairing your spine, is it sharp or lingering?” Mae asked.

“A combination of both.” Rhodey said.

“Okay, are you keeping up with your physical therapy?” Mae asked.

“Usually yes, I have been slacking this week.” Rhodey said with a smile. 

“Well we should get you back on your regimen. You're also going to be on a sodium reduced diet, and you need to make sure that you're properly hydrated.” Mae said with a smile. “These injections will prepare your body for another round of nanites, I want you taking it easy the rest of the day, they will make you a little sluggish.”

“Any other concerns?” Rhodey asked.

“Hydrate, I don't want you cramping up, I'd suggest taking a nice warm bath before bed. It will help ease your muscles, and it'll help the supplements work quicker.” Mae said. “Are you ready?”

“Who doesn't love being shot in the ass with a large needle?” Rhodey joked.

“I keep working with Tony on making a machine that doesn't physically penetrate the dermal layers, if we created a high enough frequency, a patch could be put on the skin and it could literally vibrate the medicine into the patients arms, but we're still trying to lock down the frequency.” Mae said. “Okay don't tense up, just relax as much as you can, think of something soothing.”

“Mother fucker!” Rhodey exclaimed. “Woman are you using my ass for dart practice?”

“And we are done, you even get War Machine band-aids.” Mae said. “And you're going to laugh when you see how big the needle is.”

Mae held up the syringe, the needle was only slightly bigger than a pediatric needle. 

“That's what stuck me?” Rhodey asked.

“Yep. It's only slightly bigger than a pediatric needle. I know the solution burns though, I put a little topical lidocane on, so you shouldn't have to feel it as much.” Mae said. “And you're all done for the day. The procedure can begin in two days as long as your levels are reading the same or better.”

“Thank you Mae. I really do appreciate your help, I never thought that I'd walk again.” Rhodey said.

“You are very welcome, honestly I'm thankful that you wanted my help. I think Tony would have made you some crazy bionic legs and back if I didn't offer my services.” Mae said with a wry grin. “I already emailed you the formulas for the juice drinks, if you decide on a supplement let me know and I'll have some made.”

“And that is why I didn't go to him.” Rhodey said. “Well I am going to get into that bath like we talked about and relax. I'll try the juice first, and if they don't work I'll move towards the supplements.”

“Okay, I'll see you later.” Mae said. “If you need anything or if you start feeling off, just give me a call.”

“I will, thanks again. See you later Darcy.” Rhodey said.

“See ya Rhodster.” Darcy said.

* * *

 

Mae sat at her desk while she finished going through the candidates for the procedure. She could feel the tenseness in her shoulders extending into a stress headache. So far she had found three men and two women that were afflicted by either paralysis, or another motor neuron disease. They all agreed to meet her and discuss the treatments that would be administered to them. She still needed at least another five candidates before she could really get a good group to begin helping them. Most of them were veterans that were injured in combat, but there were a few civilians mixed in as well. She felt her phone go off in her pocket, it was an incoming Skype call.

“Are you Dr. Maeve Walden?” A young man asked, his accent depicted that he was of Russian decent. His eyes were a soft moss green, they looked like sea glass in some ways, his hair was cut short in a military high and tight.

“Walden was my married name, now I'm just Dr. Maeve Thomas.” Mae said. 

“Right then, sorry about that. A friend of mine gave me your contact information, she said that you were working on a serum to help those suffering from either severe nerve damage or paralysis.” The man said. 

“You may have heard right, may I ask who referred you to me, and may I have you name as well?” Mae asked.

“I apologize ma'am, my name is Staff Sergeant Dimitri Yeremy Solvyov.” Dimitri said. “You may call me Dimitri, and I heard of you and your work from Sergeant Mary Greene.”

“Well Dimitri, my work is very new, and I would need full access to your medical records. Can you tell me why you think this treatment will help you, please?” Mae asked.

“I was hit by a road side bomb, I've lost mobility from the waist down.” Dimitri stated. “I know that you're only beginning your case studies, but I'm willing to try anything. I can have my medical records sent you immediately.”

“I promise to take a look at them, and see if I can help you. I am finishing up my selections right now, so I can't promise anything. The treatments would last a minimum of six months, after that there will be six months of physical therapy.” Mae said.

“No worse than a deployment, maybe a little longer.” Dimitri said with a smile. “I'm willing to sign the NDA's, and any other legal paperwork.”

“Is it solely based on wanting to walk again?” Mae asked. She saw that his eyes were hooded by anger, and the simple fact that she could see he had nothing else to lose. She had seen that same look in the rest of the candidates. 

“No, I want to do this because if I can help the rest of the men and women that suffer like I do, then it will be worth it.” Dimitri said. “But yes, I would like to be able to walk again.”

“I appreciate you contacting me, I'm not going to promise anything, I'll review your case and I will get back to you.” Mae said.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Dimitri said. “I've sent you my transcripts from the VA.”

“You are welcome and I promise to review them and get back to you.” Mae said. “Can you also e-mail me your full contact information?”

“I will. Thank you.” Dimitri said.

“You're welcome Dimitri, I hope you have a nice afternoon.” Mae said.

“Thank you, and the same to you.” Dimitri said. “Good bye Dr. Thomas.”

“Good day to you Dimitri, don't lose faith in yourself.” Mae said with a kind smile.

“I won't.” Dimitri said before he hung up.

Mae ran her hand over her eyes, she pulled up Dimitri's file, and saw that he was fully paralyzed from the waist down. He also suffered from severe nerve damage, a few of the nerve clusters in his back had been shredded from shrapnel. His file also alluded to his time overseas, he was diagnosed with PTSD, and multiple TBI's. She needed another therapist to help her with the inevitable back lash that would follow, she wanted to make sure that they would be fully cared for. 

“Darcy, add at least two therapists, and five physical therapists to our list.” Mae said. 

“Are we relocating everyone that we help?” Darcy asked.

“We have to, so we have to prepare accommodations for them as well. There are plenty of units that we can either retrofit into dorm like dwellings, and there are a few family apartments that we have available as well. Ideally they would sign to stay on for a minimum of six months, but closer to a full year.” Mae said. “With the extra therapy that they will need, and the continued evaluations it would be better and more responsible to keep them on site.” 

“Alright, well that really helps, time to do what I do best.” Darcy said as she spun in her chair. “I am also commandeering a mini fridge, I'm going to need to keep at least two cases of energy drinks and we need a coffee machine, and maybe a toaster.”

“Darcy you aren't living off of pop tarts and caffeine.” Mae said. “Though the coffee machine would be a nice addition.”

“Done and done, I'll order the stuff we normally drink too, do you need any specific types of bottled beverages?” Darcy asked.

“Some sports drinks for the patients, bottled water, and that should do it.” Mae said. “And maybe some of the orange monsters, the sugar less ones, and maraschino cherries.”

“You got it boss lady.” Darcy said. “Oh Steve just texted me, I think Bucky is looking for you.”

“He knows where my lab is.” Mae said with a smile. “Oh, well he's texted me quite a bit.”

“Oooooo someone's in trouble!” Darcy said with a cackle.

“We'll see, I think he's wondering what we're doing for dinner. He's wanted to have one with just the kids.” Mae said.

“Right, now you're a Mom, and how's that feel?” Darcy asked.

“Honestly, it really works, I couldn't be happier.” Mae said. “I wasn't expecting to adopt three children, but I couldn't be happier, seeing James with them really reminds me how far I've come.”

“I haven't seen you this happy in a long time, I'm glad you two found each other.” Darcy said. 

“So am I, are you ready to become Mrs. Captain America?” Mae teased.

“Honestly yes, we've been together off and on for a few years, and we work pretty well together. I sure wasn't expecting us to work as well as we do when we first met, but I guess that opposites do attract.” Darcy said. “He's probably the sweetest guy in the entire word, getting him to actually relax, that's the hard part. He has an issue just relaxing and being Steve Rogers, he forgets that he doesn't have to be the man with a plan all the time.”

“I know, they carry guilt like good Catholic boys do. Maybe one day they'll realize that they're both just human at the end of the day, well maybe a little bit stronger than your average human, but they're still human. They carry the entire world on their shoulders, seems like many of our friends do the same.” Mae said softly. “Well I am officially done today, why don't we pick this up tomorrow, I still have to review Staff Sergeant Solvyov medical history and see if we can add him to the trials.”

“I think he'd be a pretty good fit.” Darcy said. “Alright I have everything in the process of being ready for clinical trials.”

“You are amazing Darcy, thank you for all your help.” Mae said. 

“Okay Boss Lady I am off for the night, let me know if you need anything.” Darcy said as she picked up her things and exited the laboratory.

* * *

 

“Okay you three go wash up, I'll have dinner laid out pretty soon.” James said. He checked his watch and noticed that it was half past five. He looked up and saw Mae walking in, she was reading something off her tablet as she toed her shoes off. “Hey beautiful, long day?”

Mae walked over to him and pressed her lips against his, her arms wrapped around his neck and he swiftly picked her up. She kissed him deeply and she felt his fingers card through her hair.

“Whatcha got cookin', good lookin'?” Mae asked between kisses.

“Some leftovers, I missed you.” James said. “How did your first day back in the office go?”

“It went well, I think I may have found another candidate, he contacted me directly.” Mae said. “I missed you too by the way, I love you.”

“Glad to hear that doll, and I love you too. The kids are washing up and the table is set.” James said. He pressed a tender kiss to her temple while he held her. “Go get changed and I'll have everything ready for dinner.”

“You are the best, see you in a few moments.” Mae said as she untangled herself from James' arms.

“So what did everyone do today?” Mae asked.

“We all decided to work on some homework, I guess that as soon as New Years is over we're going back to school. We basically did entrance tests, so we can figure out what grade to study.” Vincent said excitedly. 

“That's wonderful, how about you two?” Mae asked Viktor and Sylvie.

“I got to do some drawing, and I worked on my alphabet. I'm really good at counting too!” Sylvie said excitedly.

“I did better in math and English.” Viktor said as he ate a bite of his dinner. “I liked the art classes, I'd like to take a few of them.”

“Well it sounds like you three had a very busy day, I'm glad to hear you all so excited about continuing your studies. I know that Tony and I will both work on the lab assignments with you.” Mae said. “James, how was your day?”

“Sounds a lot like theirs honestly, I started my classes, the math classes are pretty easy, but the rest I'll really have to work on, it's only been 80 some odd years since I really had to study in a classroom.” James said with a smirk.

“I'm very proud that you wanted to go back, I think you'll do really well.” Mae said with a smile.

“Did you get work done?” Sylvie asked.

“I did, I think I found another candidate, I'm going to review his file tonight.” Mae said.

“How many people are going to be in the candidacy for the treatments?” Vincent asked.

“I need at least 20, convincing them to move across the world can be difficult, especially because they'll be remanded here for a year.” Mae said. “Many of these potential patients have families that I can't see them leaving for an unproved treatment plan, Darcy and I are working on housing and amenities to help those that want to make the journey here.” 

“So there will be other people here soon?” Viktor asked.

“Yes, I'm still working on hiring the rest of my staff and I have less than two weeks to really have everything in line.” Mae said.

“You'll be able to do it, you're tenacious.” James said. “Alright let's get this cleaned up and we can all watch a movie while we wind down before bed.”

“Can we watch How to Train Your Dragon?” Sylvie asked.

“Sure we can do that tonight.” James said. “Okay, clean up time, Mae get started on his file, I'm sure that it's pretty thick.”

“It is, thank you all I'll be in the living room working on his file.” Mae said as she grabbed her tablet off the counter top. 

_ Severe spinal laceration, ulnar nerve displacement, cranial nerve x- vagus nerve took shrapnel as well. Lacerations of the liver, god he almost bled out from that alone. He's missing most of the discs in his lower back, we'd have to fabricate them, the serum won't be able to regrow them, or even heal the damage that was done to them. Tony, gotta confer with Tony, he helped make the new discs for Rhodey, but they were also experimental.  _

“Mae?” James asked.

“Yes?” Mae replied as she looked up from her computer.

“Are you okay?” James asked.

“I am, sorry just reading over his injuries, he shouldn't have survived.” Mae said sadly. 

“What you're doing to help people like him, you'll change the world.” James said softly. 

“I hope to change the world for the better.” Mae said. 

“You aren't anything like the doctor's that worked on me, they tortured me, experimented on so many of us, but what you're doing will help save lives. Change their lives in a positive way, I couldn't be more proud of you Mae.” James said. He brushed his knuckles across her cheek, wiping away a single tear that fell from her eyes. “I love you, with everything that I am.”

“I love you too.” Mae said. Her head dropped down until her chin touched her chest. “Thank you, I think I needed to hear that from you.”

“I'll say it as often as I can.” James said as he kissed her tenderly.

“We're trying to watch a movie!” Sylvie complained.

“I'm sorry sweetheart, I'll try to keep myself in check.” James said with a smirk.

“Fine, I'm just kidding!” Sylvie exclaimed. “Can we watch the next one?”

“Not tonight, it is officially time for bed.” Mae said with a smile. “Come on, go get washed up and changed in pajamas and we'll be in to say good night.”

“Alright, come on.” Viktor said. “We can watch it tomorrow Sylvie.”

“Fine but I'm not tired.” Sylvie said as she hid a yawn.

“Sure you're not.” Vincent said as he followed his siblings towards their rooms. 

“Go give him a call, he's probably waiting to hear from you.” James said. “I know I would be if you were offering me a second chance at life, well I know how nervous I was when I was waiting to see if you could help me.”

“You never showed it, not once.” Mae said.

“Had to put on a brave face, couldn't let you think I wasn't tough enough to handle it.” James said. “You really did quiet the noise in my mind, a balm for my soul.”

“You made me feel like I could undo the sins that my parents wrought upon you and countless others.” Mae said.

“Those aren't your burdens to take on, you are not responsible for their actions, and you never will be.” James stated. He wrapped his arms around her and cradled her in his arms, he pressed a kiss to her lips, before he unwrapped his arms. “Go on, give him a call sweetheart. I'll be back soon okay?”

“Give them a kiss for me, and I'll be in our room.” Mae said.

“Will do doll.” James said.

* * *

 

Mae sat on the edge of their bed, she looked at the tablet that lay in her hands. She looked at her phone and quickly dialed Dimitri's number,  _please pick up, please_ .

“Hello?” Dimiti said.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for continuing with me, I hope you're enjoying it. Any feedback would be appreciated, anything that you want me to know or even just give me a little feedback. I appreciate the kudo's, and the comments seriously it means a lot to me. Find me on tumblr bellenuit45


	23. Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Mae both begin their professional lives, Darcy plays an integral part of helping Mae narrow down other personnel.  
> Some fluff, some smut...

You can take my heart, you can take my breath  
When you pry it from my cold, dead chest

Magic, static, call me a fanatic  
It's our world, they can never have it  
This is how we rise up  
It's our resistance, you can't resist us

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJSxL9to1wY&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&index=24&shuffle=4970](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJSxL9to1wY&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV&index=24&shuffle=4970)

James ran his fingers through Mae's hair, gently untangling the strands of silk that slipped through his fingers. The rays of sunlight pierced their bedroom, illuminating the various photos that decorated their bedroom. He wasn't sure where Mae had found most of them, some were even from his days as a Howling Commando. He saw his visage staring back at him, an easy jaunty smirk was plaster on his face, his arm was slung around Steve's shoulder. How young they both looked, untouched by the war raging around them. There was another photo of him that he knew Mae had retouched, his hands were wrapped in tape after a boxing match he'd been in. He knew that she loved watching him let loose on a heavy bag, she enjoyed watching the play of his muscles. He'd caught her more than once watching him throw punch after punch, each hit showed off his well muscled back and arms. She would laugh whenever he would pick her up and spin her around, she smiled more when he would carry Sylvie around on his shoulders.

_It's almost easy to believe that our time with Hydra was just a dream, a_ **_nightmare. Sometimes I think we're back there, waiting for orders._ ** _But we aren't, not any more._ **_I know that, but, sometimes it feels like we're still there. It's too quiet here._ ** _The silence bothers me too, like I'm waiting for an attack to happen, and when it doesn't come it makes me wonder when it will strike._ **_I don't think we'll ever really relax, not like a regular civilian at least, we haven't been normal or regular._ ** _Sometimes I remember, I remember when Steve and I shared that bolt hole we called an apartment, workin' a' th' docks, dancin' with a pretty dame when I could. Then I wake up, and for a brief moment it's like I expect to wake up there, like this was all a bad dream._ **_I envy you that. I haven't felt like a person, until we met her. She makes me feel human, she makes me believe that we'll have a normal future. The children, they give me hope. I'm more lost now, I have directives, but it isn't the same._ ** _Part of bein' human is makin' your own choices, you'll see._ **_They'll never let us go, there's always going to be someone out there that will want to use us as their dog._ ** _The words are gone, they can't control us ever again._ **_Unless they use that machine again, then we're back where we were._ ** _She would never let us be trapped with them, neither would Steve. They'd burn the world down for us._ **_Without her, without the children, without Steve it could all burn. That's what they'd take, it'd be the smart thing to do. Kill what we cherish so we have nothing left. That's how they broke us, when Steve fell, we knew no one was going to come for us. That was the day you died, and I was resurrected in your place. The blood isn't on your hands, it's on mine, I am no more human than they are._ ** _Then we protect them to the best of our abilities, you and I both know the safest place for them is with us. What made you worry about them?_ **_I can't turn it off, I was never human like you, I am a machine with a set of orders. Protect the handler, kill anyone that is a threat. Who we protect has changed, but our methods are still the same._ ** _We'll always protect them. Of_ **_that I have no doubt._ **

“James?” Mae called. “Did you sleep?”

“Some, just thinking about the past.” James said as his fingers caressed her cheek.

“Anything you want to talk about?” Mae asked.

“No, I'm fine.” James said. “You're the only one that saw me, really saw me for who I am, and loved me regardless of who I became.”

“How could I not fall in love with you? You're a good man James Barnes and I'll say it over and over again.” Mae said. She curled up across his lap, her arms were wrapped around his neck, her lips conducted a symphony across his jaw and throat.

“One day I may just believe you.” James said softly. “Don't start something we can't finish, the kids will be up soon.”

“Well, we will just need to be quick, and quiet.” Mae said. She moaned as he slipped his fingers under her panties, finding her flesh wet and responsive to his attention.

“Quiet huh?” James asked as he smirked against her full lips. He worked her out of his shirt, admiring her subtle curves. He sucked her nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the softness of her breasts. She smaller hands worked his pants and boxers down his toned legs, he pulled her solidly into his lap. He stroked the curve of her back, grabbing her ass in both of his hands before sliding her down over him. His head tilted back, and he let out a low groan, feeling the slick slide of skin against skin. “God damn doll.”

“James!” Mae exclaimed. Her hands gripped his shoulders as she set a relentless pace, his hands guided her hips up and down, her head was thrown back in ecstasy. She rolled her hips against him, his hands tightened, and she knew she'd find tell tale bruises later.

“Come on sweetheart.” James called out, he reached down between them and began stroking her clit with his thumb. He watched as her head was thrown back and her mouth was open in a silent O. He continued a relentless pace, urging his body and hers further down the path to ecstasy. He felt her clenching and tightening around him, he stroked her clit faster, swirling the rough pad of his thumb in rough circles. Her hips bucked against his and he felt the warm of her orgasm soak him, he grinned at her before he grabbed her hips and began dragging her down against him. “Almost there doll, come on sweetheart work me over.”

“Fucking hell James!” Mae cried out as he drove her higher and higher to their end. “Please, harder!”

“Anything for you doll.” James said, he spun her around so she was on her hands and knees. “Get that sweet ass in the air for me. That's it, one of these days I'm going to spank your ass red.”

“Promises.” Mae said. She gasped as he slipped back into her, one his hands was on the small of her back while the other anchored her hips. “Please James.”

“What doll, you want this hard and fast? Or deep and slow?” James asked, he slowly pumped his thick cock in and out of her, he could feel her trembling underneath him.

“I just want you to fuck me until the only thing I can say is your name.” Mae said.

“Your wish is my command, come on sweetheart, gotta hurry this up.” James said. He quickened his strokes, reaching down to tweak her nipple in his bionic hand, he cupped her breast and pulled her back against his chest. He leaned down to press rough, messy kisses along her neck and jaw. “I love you.”

“I love you too, fuck right there!” Mae cried out. She could feel that slow warmth spread from her core and it soon spiraled out across her entire body, a shot of pure pleasure ran from the tips of her toes to the tips of her fingers. “James oh god! James!”

“That's it baby doll, I'm close, gotta feel you come one more time. Come on baby doll, give me one more, clench that sweet pussy around me.” James growled against her neck, he bit into her neck gently before swirling his tongue across the bite. He felt her tightening around his, she was so slick, he closed his eyes as he began riding the high of his climax. “Oh hell sweetheart!”

“JAMES!!” Mae exclaimed, a burst of star light took over her vision, slowly the world came back in focus, her hearing was dampened and all she felt was James' lips slowly kissing down her neck.

“I love you sweetheart.” James said. He could hear the faint stirrings coming from the kids bedroom. “And they are awake.”

“You go shower, and when you're done I'll shower.” Mae said as she kissed him on the lips.

“I need one after that.” James said with a smile. “I have my appointment today.”

“What time is it?” Mae asked. She knew that he'd been worried about it.

“3'o’clock. I figured after I was done maybe we could make dinner with everyone. Steve had mentioned maybe making lasagna.” James said. “And yes we already have everything to make it.”

“You read my mind, and that sounds great. I have to call Dimitri back and get some ground work done with him, and Darcy and I are still working on some staffing problems.” Mae said. “I'll be done by the time your appointment finishes, I promise.”

“I'll hold you to that beautiful.” James said as he sauntered towards the shower.

* * *

 

When Mae arrived at her lab she saw that Darcy had arrived as well. She saw that Darcy was already on the phone with someone, she was jotting down notes on her tablet, she motioned for Mae.

“Staff Sergeant Solvyov wanted to know when he needed to be here.” Darcy said. “He's asking to speak with you.”

“Good evening Staff Sergeant.” Mae said. “How can I help you?”

“Morning ma'am. I wanted to know when I would need to be there and what I should bring with me.” Dimitri said.

“If you check your e-mail, you can pick from a few flights that are highlighted, and there's a packing list included too.” Mae said. “How are you feeling?”

“I'm honestly in shock, I knew it was a long shot, and I appreciate your help.” Dimitri said.

“Well no promises yet, I will do everything in my power to help you though, I promise.” Mae said. “Did you get the e-mail?”

“I did, I'm selecting my flight now.” Dimitri said. “Looks like I'll arrive tomorrow afternoon.”

“Wonderful, how are you really feeling?” Mae asked.

“Honestly, I'm a little nervous.” Dimitri said. “I didn't think I'd ever be able to dream about walking again.”

“Well, I hope that we're able to get you on your own two feet again, have a little faith in yourself. You've made it this far.” Mae said.

“I appreciate your help, really I do.” Dimitri said. “I better finish packing, thank you again.”

“You're very welcome, we'll see you tomorrow afternoon, I'll be there to pick you up from the airport.” Mae said with a smile. “Pack some warm clothes, it's still fairly cold here.”

“Can do ma'am.” Dmitri said. “Good afternoon to you.”

“Good bye Dimitri, have a safe flight.” Mae said as she hung up. “Darcy any news about our current staffing problem?”

“So, Claire, and Sam said they could be here tomorrow morning.” Darcy said.

“And Mel?” Mae asked.

“Mel can be here this weekend, she's bringing her kids too.” Darcy said. “I already have their apartments, or suites set up. I have a driver assigned to pick them up as well.”

“Darcy you are amazing, you'll like Mel, she's incredibly kind.” Mae said. “I'm really glad that you're here with me.”

“Ditto, it's been awhile since I held a position that I enjoy, and I'm pretty awesome at what I do.” Darcy said. “Oh and there are four people that might be perfect for us, their dossiers are in your in box. They all have medical training, including lab time, and they either had backgrounds in genetics, physiology, and I believe we even have an errant neurologist.”

“I'll read their files and start making phone calls.” Mae said. “Thank you, I really appreciate your help.”

“Not to worry boss lady, how's Bucky liking school?” Darcy asked.

“Actually it's pretty adorable, he's doing well, and I think he likes creating versus destroying. His words not mine.” Mae said. “He has his first appointment today, and he said we're all making dinner together.”

“Steve suggested that, I think he's trying to use it as a team building exercise.” Darcy said with a smile. “Can't get him to not see the tactical advantage of any situation.”

“He wouldn't be the man with a plan without it.” Mae said. “How long did he let you use the Star Spangled Man with a Plan as your ring tone?”

“Not long enough, sadly.” Darcy said. “It may have been my fault, I sort of hacked his phone and changed all his ring tones to patriotic ones, he was less than amused with my antics.”

“That's pretty funny, sometimes he needs to unclench a little.” Mae said.

“Remember when he was really being overbearing and I threatened to tase him?” Darcy asked.

“I don't think I've seen him make that face before, and we got it on camera too.” Mae said with a laugh. “I think he was surprised because he wasn't expecting that from you, even though he knows that Thor has called you his lightening sister for a reason.”

“Yep, and my taser has different settings, you can thank Tony. I have it on good authority that my taser can now take down gods, and super soldiers.” Darcy said with a smirk. “I wish I could have gone to Asgard with Jane, I wanted to tase Loki right in the crumbs. Like, take that bitch.”

“Well far be it from me to keep you from your happiness.” Mae said. “Alright I'm going to check the files you sent me, and see if I can get our staff hired.”

“Sounds good, still working on making sure that we have enough supplies, once I'm done I'm supposed to meet with Wanda and the kids, I guess we're going to go sledding.” Darcy said. “Think I can convince Steve that I _need_ the shield for a sled?”

“If any one could, it'd be you Darce.” Mae said with a soft smile.

“And that is why we're friends, you don't dissuade my antics, you remind me how awesome I am.” Darcy said as she slipped on a dark green pea coat, she crammed a knit hat on her head and she waved goodbye. “Toodles!”

* * *

 

Mae opened the first file, Philip Anders, he was positioned as a geneticist within Stark Industries. He was currently working on his PhD while he worked under Helen Cho. He came highly recommended, with plenty of accolades on his dossier, there were very few negative comments in regards to him personally. _He's not married so that's one less thing to worry about. Have to talk to Tony and make sure he doesn't mind me poaching some of his resources. Okay let's see who else Darcy found to help staff our little lab._ Anne Sofiandi, Doctorate from Northwestern University, physiologist with Stark Industries for the past 4 years. _She'll be necessary in coordinating physical therapy and other physical demands that will be involved in the program. And last but not least, a neurologist from Lawrence Kansas._ Dean Remington, two Doctorates, one in neurology and one in genetics. _No negative comments on his record, looks like he served as a doctor in the Navy assisting the Marines, he went back to school for his second Doctorate, and he's been with Stark Enterprises for 4 years. He's worked with Philip in the past, and they seem to get along._ Mae finished staring at her tablet, she pulled up their contact information. _Better get these phone calls out of the way, and if they say no, there's still a few people we could interview. And I should probably make sure Tony doesn't mind me doing a little requisition work from his company._

“ _Tony?” Mae asked._

“ _Yes darling?” Tony asked as he turned on the two way video call. He had grease on his eye brow, and it looked like he may have singed a bit off the top of his hair, but he was also smiling brightly and pointing towards Vincent. Vincent smiled and waved at Mae, she saw that when he moved his arm, a mechanical arm waved as well. “Just getting a little time in, you know being responsible and all.”_

“ _How do you feel about me potentially requisitioning a few of your employees?” Mae asked, she watched as Tony's eyebrows did a small dance._

“ _Uh, like for the clinical trials? Or like we're starting a new division of SI? Cause I'm pretty sure Pepper will still kill me if I start a branch if I don't warn her first. That's happened, a few times, it wasn't pretty.” Tony said as he shuddered._

“ _Tony, how many times have you almost killed Pepper by dropping a bomb on her like that? I don't even want to know do I. Anyways I think maybe we could work up to being a joint venture, but mostly for the clinical trials.” Mae said as she quickly sent over the dossiers she had on the people she wanted to hire._

“ _Okay they're all great candidates, I don't think that you'll have an issue borrowing them, or transferring them. I'll let Pepper know, what about their independent work?” Tony asked._

“ _They will have time off, if they want to work on it, but their primary reason for being here would be starting a team that would help further the regenerative healing that the serum can do. It's why I chose the people I did, they either work with genetics, physiology, or neurology; three fields that gave the background of coming to a basic understanding it.” Mae stated._

“ _You've done your home work, if they negotiate aggressively, let me know and I'll personally get them here.” Tony said as he gestured with a flourish. “I'm proud of you kiddo.”_

“ _Thank you Tony.” Mae said with a bright smile._

“ _Anything for you milady.” Tony said. “And back to school with you young man! There will be no slacking here!”_

Mae quickly sent out an e-mail to each of the possible new hires, asking them to set up a video conference appointment with her. As she finished the e-mails she looked at her desk, Darcy had printed out a few of the photos from Christmas and placed them in tasteful picture frames. It made the rather clinical office shine with her personality, and personal keepsakes. She picked up a silver frame and looked at the photo of James and her standing under mistletoe. They were kissing while laughing, you could almost see the gentle shake of their shoulders as they posed for the picture. She set it down and looked at the picture of their kids in front of the Christmas tree, they were all smiling; the magic of Christmas was captured by the reflection of their eyes. The final photo was a picture of their rag tag family in front of the Christmas tree, everyone was smiling and for the most part behaving, it was a rare photo to capture the true affection they all held for one another. _And here I never thought I'd find that type of love again, the kind where they enhance your life just by being there with you. I wouldn't trade any of them for all the riches in the world._ She opened her drawer and looked at the two rings that swung from a chain, she hadn't worn them in months. Now they felt less bittersweet as she held them, she felt more at peace when she held them. _You'll never be forgotten, our time together was worth it. How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist._ She heard the ding of an e-mail go off, it pulled her from her memories. _Wonderful, three appointments, and they all seem curious. Looks like we might just get this rolling!_

* * *

 

James sat with Viktor and Sylvie, they were helping sort the ingredients needed to make the lasagna. Sylvie kept stirring the cheese mixtures, assuring him that she was very good at stirring food. She also decided that pasta sauce should really be pasta frosting, because it's spread on top of pasta like frosting on a cake. Steve was laughing along with him as she described the frosting of the pasta. Tony and Rhodey were buying some fresh bread from a local bakery, they thought it would make perfect garlic bread, and he wasn't going to dissuade them from buying fresh bread. Darcy and Wanda were making dessert, they had hinted at some form of cupcakes. James had smelled a heavenly aroma in the kitchen earlier in the day, but both women were silent when it came to actaully discussing what was being made. He watched as Sylvie and Viktor gave each other a sly smile before they both attempted to tackle Steve and put the red sauce across his face. Sylvie moved as quick as a jungle cat, she climbed up his back and stuck her hands in his hair, laughing deftly as he tried to grab her.

“Okay enough outta both of you, go get cleaned up.” James chucked as he looked at them. “Now?”

“Okay Dad.” Steve said with a smile. “Come on Princess let's get you cleaned up.”

“Oh alright!” Sylvie said with a laugh. Her eyes were filled with mirth and laughter. She grabbed Steve's hand and dragged him towards the elevators.

“Pretty sneaky sweetheart, with some training you could be deadly.” Steve said, he ruffled her hair.

“Do you think I could learn? I like the Black Widow she's so graceful!” Sylvie exclaimed.

“Well Natasha is easily the most graceful woman I've ever met.” Steve said with a smile. “One day, when you meet her maybe she'll show you what she knows.”

“I would really like that!” Sylvie said. She looked and saw that Mae was standing in the elevator, she looked quite perplexed, as to why Steve was covered in pasta sauce.

“Do I want to know?” Mae asked.

“Sylvie here gave me a lesson in tactical awareness, and then, she out flanked me.” Steve said, a faint blush dusted his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

“Well I'm glad you two had fun, everyone else in the kitchen?” Mae asked.

“Mostly, I think Tony and Rhodey are still at the bakery.” Steve said. “I'll get her cleaned up before we return.”

“Thank you Steve, Sylvie please listen to Steve, I'll see you soon.” Mae said as she pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

“I will, promise.” Sylvie said.

Mae made her way towards the kitchen and saw that Darcy and Wanda were dancing around the kitchen while they frosted a few dozen cupcakes. James was seated with Viktor, it looked like they were discussing home work, Mae's heart swelled as she watched them together. She could smell the lasagna baking in the oven, she watched as James patiently explained something to Viktor. _I really couldn't get any luckier._ She watched as he looked up, he smirked at her, his eyes were shining with amusement.

“Hey there doll, how'd your day go?” James asked. “Viktor why don't you put your homework up for now.”

“My day was fine, how did your appointment go?” Mae asked. She leaned over and kissed his full lips.

“Actually it went pretty well, we've already made some progress.” James said. He stroked the inside of her wrist, _just a few more days until New Years._ _ **And the wait is worth it.**_

“I'm glad to hear that, sorry I was late getting here.” Mae said as she opened the fridge. She began pulling out fresh garlic, lemons, anchovies paste, parmigiano-reggiano, fresh romaine lettuce, mayonnaise, Worcester sauce, and Dijon mustard. She put the varied ingredients in the bowl and began quickly whisking it into a fresh Caesar dressing. “Do we have croutons?”

“I think we have those cheese crackers, but not like traditional croutons.” Darcy said.

“Those cupcakes smell amazing!” Mae commented. “Where's the rest of our little family?”

“Tony, Rhodey and Vincent are almost back, they had to find freshly made garlic bread. Tony refused to accept anything less, personally I think he's enjoying shopping here.” Darcy said.

“The lasagna smells fantastic.” Mae said. “I saw Steve and Sylvie, or the aftermath of them helping.”

“She got him good, I think Darcy took a photo.” James said as he began setting the table. He heard the ding of the timer and he rushed over to turn the oven off. “I already have a fresh blend of asiago, & parmigiano-reggiano to top it with. One is traditional meat lasagna, and the other is a chicken Alfredo with mixed vegetables.”

“Wow, well if you decide that you don't like architecture I think you'd be great studying in the culinary field.” Mae said, she leaned over and kissed his stubbled jaw. “Love you James.”

“I love you too Mae, this feels pretty great. Dinner with our family, we all made it together, it reminds me of being home.” James said, his eyes were slightly unfocused as he remembered the family meals he had shared in the past. “Used to have Stevie and Mrs. Rogers over on Sunday's after church, we'd all get together and make a big meal together.”

“That's a great memory, sounds really wonderful.” Mae said. “I look forward to making many more happy memories together.”

“Same here sweetheart. Not going to lie, I'm really looking forward to those cupcakes Wanda and Darcy made.” James said with a wink. “There are days I am thoroughly thankful for the super serum, I never have to worry about having a beer gut.”

“It doesn't hurt that you and Steve-o are total gym rats.” Darcy said as she licked frosting off her finger. 

“It's true, even on off days you both train 6 hours a day.” Wanda said as she dusted the top of the cupcakes with a dusting of cocoa powder. 

“No rest for the wicked sweetheart.” James said with a smile. 

“Alright we're here and we bring the gift of bread!” Tony called. He was holding a few different bags as were Rhodey and Vincent. “They had so many fresh types of breads and pastries I couldn't resist. Darcy, are those the cupcakes you made for Galentine's with Jane?”

“That they are!” Darcy said.

“Those are orgasmic, they will give you a reason to live.” Tony said in a serious tone. 

“Aww Tony I'm glad you enjoyed them.” Darcy said. “Wanda is an excellent protege.”

“It's been fun, and it helps that I can whip the batter with the power of my mind.” Wanda said. She watched as Darcy started laughing. “What?”

“I just remember the first batch of red velvet cupcakes we did, I think there was more batter on the ceiling than in the bowl!” Darcy exclaimed. “I know, wasn't your fault, but still.”

“Thor startled me! How a man that large moves more quietly than a cat I do not know.” Wanda said. 

“Honestly he had more batter on him than the ceiling, that was epic.” Darcy said. “Too bad he couldn't use mew-mew to heat the batter, they just kinda exploded...”

“As long as it was for Science.” Tony said with an exaggerated eye roll.

“It was totally for Science!” Darcy said. “Well that and I was curious, I mean Johnny Storm can make a hot pocket in like 5 seconds. God he would have been useful in college.”

“Helpful in getting you stuck with a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.” Rhodey chimed in.

“I meant in heating up cheap food, ew, I wouldn't want to touch him with someone else's junk.” Darcy said, she looked up and realized that both of the boys were looking at her in shock. “Woops, forgot that I am not around just adults, granted I don't adult the greatest, but sorry.”

“It happens, maybe keep all of our college stories to PG.” Mae said.

“You have college stories?” Vincent asked Mae with a look of faux innocence.

“I might be older than you, but I'm not dead.” Mae said with a smile. “Maybe you'll hear some of those stories as you get older.”

“Aww Mom, you're no fun.” James said with a smirk. “Come on, I wanna hear just how much trouble you were in college.”

“James Barnes.” Mae said.

“Ohh busted you got the Mom voice.” Tony said. “And where is Steve? And Sylvie?”

“They are washing up from the pasta sauce fight they had. Darcy has video.” James said. “But he did send me a message he's on his way up here now.”

“Good I am starving.” Darcy said. “Everyone better get set up at the table, we can wait for them there.”

Darcy began passing out glasses with water to everyone at the table. She watched as Tony began slicing up the fresh bread, Rhodey was slicing up fresh mozzerella to finish the caprese salad. She watched as Wanda used her gifts to set the cupcakes on a glass stand, Wanda was finally more comfortable using her gifts around them. She had also become much more friendly, and less afraid of people fearing her, it was great to see her flourish. She rarely spoke of her time on the Raft, but Darcy knew that what she had been subjected to was beyond cruel. She looked up and saw that Steve was carrying Sylvie in his arms, she was animatedly chattering about something or another. Seeing him with a young child in his arms was something that tweaked her heart strings, there was something about seeing her super soldier so domestic that just made her heart feel like it was going to burst. 

“Hi sweetheart, sorry we're late. Evidently she had good enough aim that it was in my ears.” Steve said as he kissed Darcy's lips. 

“Not to worry, and by the way seeing you be all domestic with Sylvie, you better have enough energy for after dinner.” Darcy said with a smile.

“Who would have know that my fiancee is such a vixen.” Steve whispered, he saw that Bucky was observing them and he winked at Steve. 

“Insatiable is more like it, thank Thor for the super soldier serum.” Darcy said. She looked around and saw that their group of friends had truly morphed into a family.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate everyone that's stuck with me so far, there's still about 7 chapters left, at least in this instalment. Some of the names for the other OC's were a fun play on word, if you catch them, please comment so I know you got it =) Thank you for reading, for commenting, and for kudoing my work, seriously that is the best feeling as a writer and I would love to hug the fuck outta all of you. 
> 
> Mary- thanks for helping me lately when I am stumped,  
> Mel- your encouragement has been fantastic and I love getting to know you.  
> A- thank you for commenting hope you're feeling better!  
> Joey- Thank you also for commenting <3
> 
> Catch me on tumblr bellenuit45 or twitter KitchenWench   
> xoxo until the next update!


	24. Crossfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dimitri is the first to arrive in Sokovia, he gets settled in before their New Years party. James goes behind Mae's back to investigate the people she hired, alongside Steve.

He'd trade his guns for love, but he's caught in the crossfire

He keeps waking up, but not the sounds of birds.

The tyrany, the violent streets,

Deprived of all that we're blessed with.

And we can't get enough, no.

 

[Crossfire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHOcgnTifMc&index=57&list=PLXWn0wLOH6VePZwfMX_Zy0uPMsZnw0ITV)

“We don't get the luxury of being normal. Nothing about us is normal!” James exclaimed as he ran his fingers through his hair. It was getting longer, and he was due for another hair cut soon. “I should have expected this.”

“We followed all the necessary protocols, but that doesn't mean that this wouldn't happen.” Steve said. “There's always a risk involved.”

“Yeah, I got it.” James said as he began pulling his gear on. “Aren't you tired?”

“It feels like we go from one war to another, I'm not going to lie to you Buck, I was getting pretty jealous of you. Seeing you with a family, working a normal job, it made me wish we were back in Brooklyn after the war.” Steve said. He looked over as his best friend began arming himself with various knives, and handguns. The jovial smiles that he'd seen on Bucky's face over the last week were wiped away, only a calm, detached persona was left. “I'm sorry.”

“Got nothing to be sorry for, there's always going to be some form of conflict, I didn't want it to go this way but, it is what it is.” James said. He double checked his ammunition, and the rigging on his vest.

“I'll do everything in my power to fix this.” Steve said as he attached the shield to his back.

“It wasn't your fault Steve, contrary to popular belief, the world doesn't rest on your shoulders.” James said, he reached out and laid his hand on Steve's shoulder. “I'm geared up, ready?”

“I know, you've said that, Darcy has said it.” Steve said, he nodded towards Bucky, the cold determination in his friends eyes was a little unsettling. _May God rest the souls that dared go against them, there would be no quarter given for this._

_**24 Hours before:** _

“These are not the droids you're looking for.” Tony said as he flapped his arms at Mae.

“Tony, I gathered that, what are you making right now?” Mae asked as she clicked through a few things on her tablet. Most of her staff was going to be arriving over the next few days. “By the way, everyone should be here by the end of the week.”

“I'm trying to augment some of the 'bots so they can be used as sniffers.” Tony said, his hair was awry from tugging on it.

“Bomb sniffers?” Mae asked, she set her tablet down and looked over the mechanics laid out on the table.

“Bomb, hazardous materials, they can be calibrated for a wide variety of scenarios.” Tony said. He looked up and made eye contact with her. “What you said to me, before, about using my noodle for a wider range; it stuck with me.”

“I think they will be very useful to many different civil workers.” Mae said with a smile.

“Yep, that's the plan. So how are you feeling about starting your trials? That's a pretty big deal.” Tony stated.

“I'm ready for it in some ways, but in others, I'm still fairly nervous.” Mae said.

“It'd be scary if you weren't nervous. We've seen two different people benefit from your research, who's to say that you won't change the world?” Tony asked.

“Thank you Tony, here's to hoping.” Mae said, she raised her coffee cup in a mock salute. “I have to get to the air field, I have one of the patients coming in pretty soon.”

“The Staff Sergeant?” Tony asked.

“That's the one, I'm thinking of taking Wanda with me, she needs to get out more.” Mae said with a smile.

“Make sure you're armed, Sokovia is fairly safe, but I would feel safer knowing you're armed.” Tony said as he passed her a new pair of gauntlets. “They're like my repulsor's, they can also shock someone like a taser, it'll knock down anything in your way. I tested them out on Thor, Steve wouldn't let me see how well they worked on him.”

“I can't imagine why Tony, seriously can't imagine why.” Mae said as she laughed. “I appreciate it, how long will they last?”

“They have enough juice in them to take out a tank, they have smaller reactors built in so they shouldn't wear out. I'd say make sure I look them over every 3 months, but they should be fine.” Tony said.

“Well thank you Tony, you always know just what kind of accessories I really need.” Mae said as she leaned over to kiss his cheek. “I have to get suited up, see you later?”

“Right, I think we're spending part of New Years at a little restaurant, something Bucky found with Wanda and the kids.” Tony said with a flippant wave.

“Okay, well have fun being a mad scientist.” Mae said as she left his lab.

* * *

 

The armory was located a floor down from the labs, and she was supposed to meet James there before she left. As she made her way to the lift, the only thing that she could think about were the upcoming trials. The rest of the patients would arrive in two days, and after that they'd begin with basic physicals before they began augmenting them.  _Time to shit or get off the pot._ She punched in the code to the armory before she moved towards the tactical gear, she slipped off her lab coat and stuck it in an open locker. She exchanged her blouse for a dry fit shirt, it helped with chaffing from the body armor, and added a drop holster to her right thigh. She felt the air shift before she physically saw James eying her. “Hello handsome.”

“I'm torn between being turned on, and mildly afraid for anyone that crosses you.” James said as he put the vest over her shirt, he tightened the straps on it. _At least it isn't as bulky as some of the old vests._ ** _And Tony reduced the weight._** He added a knife and its holster to her left thigh before he passed her a pelican case. “Consider this part of your extended Christmas present.”

“Should I be worried?” Mae asked, as she finished braiding her hair tightly against her scalp. She set the case on a table before she opened it. She saw a pair of Glock 19's sitting in the case, there was also a smaller Glock 26 nestled between the larger 19's. “Aww honey, you shouldn't have.”

“Not the most romantic gift, but I thought you could use a few new pistols.” James said. He watched as she smiled at him fully, her brown eyes were back lit with affection. **_Natalia, she looks like Natalia._** _No, not exactly. She doesn't have that cold detachment that Natalia wore like a second skin._ ** _True._** “I made sure to clean them and test them before I gave them to you. I thought you could use a smaller pistol for concealed carrying, it still has a 10 round magazine, and I made sure to load them with the hollow points.”

“And I didn't get you anything.” Mae said. She leaned over against James' shoulder, the coolness of the metal under his shirt was a welcome sensation. “Thank you. Are you worried about Wanda and I heading to the air field?”

“Worried, maybe a little, I'd feel better if you had a full detail.” James said as he pulled out a duffel bag. “I know that you and Wanda are both proficient, but we've heard some chatter lately.”

“What kind of chatter?” Mae asked. She watched as Wanda joined them in the armory. “Morning Wanda, are you ready for this?”

“Indeed I am, are you expecting to meet with hostile forces?” Wanda teased. “Good morning James, I saw your briefing with security, I promise not a head on her hair will be harmed.”

“James is worried, he said they caught some chatter, but he hasn't illuminated what he's heard.” Mae said with a smile.

“Steve and I got word that there are a few rebel factions that aren't too pleased with us being here, they haven't stated any real threats, but that doesn't mean that they haven't planned anything.” James said. “Wanda, I trust you, you both work well together.”

“We'll be okay James, we do need to get a move on though, I wouldn't want to be late.” Mae said as she made her way towards the garage.“Wanda grab your motorcycle jacket, the roads have been sufficiently clear and it's the fastest way to get to the air field.”

“Mae will you please take one of the armored vehicles?” James asked as he followed Mae into the elevator.

“James, we've talked about this, there's already a quinjet waiting for us to take back here.” Mae said as she pulled on a leather jacket. “One of the armored vehicles won't fit in the quinjet.”

“Wanda talk some sense into her, please?” James asked his brows were drawn in a picture of annoyance.

“I believe the term is chicks before dicks, no?” Wanda said with a sly smile. “And she is right, it won't fit in the quinjet, plus riding with Mae sounds like fun.”

“I can tell when I'm outnumbered, just be safe okay?” James asked. He pulled Mae into his arms as he kissed her goodbye. “Be safe and I'll see you soon.”

“We will, love you.” Mae said as she kissed his stubble riddled cheek. “Alright Wanda, let's go welcome our guest.”

“You know, I don't think I've ever ridden on one of these with you.” Wanda said as she pulled on her helmet and gauntlets.

“It's great on and off road, on the off chance that we need to make our own path. The tires were designed to handle snow and ice as well as normal asphalt. If something happens, shield us, stay on the defensive until we can get into an offensive position.” Mae said as she tightened the strap on her helmet. “Friday will be linked through our helmets, so they'll be prepared if anything happens.”

“I'm ready when you are.” Wanda said as she slipped onto the back seat of the bike. She flipped her visor down in preparation for their trip.

“Make sure that your vents on your jacket are zipped, it's still cold enough out.” Mae said as she started the bike, the deep thrum reverberated through the garage. “Ready?”

“As I'll ever be.” Wanda said, she looped her arms around Mae's waist, and with that they both took off towards the air field. “Friday who's listening in right now?”

_\--Currently Sir is listening in, though Captain Rogers will be here shortly.--_

“Thank you Friday.” Mae said. “Okay looks like the airfield is clear, and he's landing shortly.”

“What is he like?” Wanda asked. “He is Russian?”

“He is, joined the military to earn his citizenship I believe. He's very polite, I hope that we can help him.” Mae said.

“I'm sure you will, it will be nice having more people here.” Wanda said, she enjoyed riding on the motorcycle, it was freeing in a way that she appreciated.

“Air traffic control says we are clear to meet at the quinjet. We'll get this stored as we wait for him, he isn't ambulatory so we'll have to make enough room for his belongings and a wheelchair.” Mae said as she waited for Wanda to dismount her bike. “Friday, please scan the jet and make sure there aren't any surprises waiting for us.”

_\--The scan shows no lifeforms within the aircraft, and there hasn't been any tampering with it either.--_

“Thank you Friday.” Mae said as she punched in the code to open the hatch. She and Wanda began folding up a set of seats so they could maneuver the bike into position. The secured it with tie down straps before the shucked most of their gear. “He'll be landing soon, are you ready? I'll start the pre-flight options, can you make sure there's space enough for his belongings?”

“I can do that, I wasn't aware that you knew how to pilot one of these.” Wanda said as she began folding up another row of seats.

“Oh I'm not, Tony has this one on a specific flight path today, so all I'll have to do is start the pre-flight checklist, and man the comms.” Mae said with a smile. “Tony said we were heading to some restaurant for dinner?”

“That is the plan, would it be impolite to leave our guest at home?” Wanda asked.

“Probably, he's more than welcome to join us.” Mae said. “Tower this is Dr. Thomas operating out of Quinjet 1.”

“Tower to Quinjet 1, your flight plan has already been cleared. Your other party member will be landing shortly. Tower out.”

“Okay I have a space cleared for his belongings.” Wanda said.

“Follow me, we'll wait for him on the tarmac.” Mae said. She absent mindlessly fiddled with the bracelets on her wrists.

“Stop fidgeting, you'll be fine.” Wanda said as she smiled at her friend.

“He's the first patient that I'm meeting in person.” Mae said. “What if I can't do this?”

“You can do this, you saved Rhodey and James.” Wanda said as she leaned over and slung her arm around Mae's waist. “You once told me in my moment of doubt, that I could do anything I put my mind to, you also reminded me to have faith in myself, this is me reminding you of the same.”

Mae stood silently as she let Wanda's words wash over her. She took a deep breath before she hugged the younger woman back.

“Thank you Wanda, I appreciate your faith in me, and once I get the trials started I'll find my faith in myself.” Mae said.

“Nothing you haven't done for me, or for anyone that you've crossed paths with.” Wanda stated. She watched as a smaller plane landed, she watched as Mae sent out a message off of her phone. As soon as the hatch was down they made their way towards the other jet. A man about her age was waiting for the ramp to descend, she saw that he was sitting ram rod straight in his wheel chair, she watched as he smiled at both women waiting for him.

“Good morning Staff Sergeant.” Mae said with a warm smile. “I hope your flights went well.”

“Good morning ma'am, good to see you face to face. The flights went as well as they could, thank you.” Dimitri said.

“If you'll follow me, we'll get you situated. This is Wanda Maximoff, she will be staying here to help with repairs.” Mae said as she grabbed two of his sea bags, he had a few other bags laying next to the rest of his belongings. “Wanda?”

“Ma'am pleasure to meet you.” Dimitri said as he extended his hand.

“The pleasure is mine Staff Sergeant, you're welcome to call me Wanda, we're rather informal.” Wanda said with a soft smile, she extended her hand and shook his. She was taken a back by how bright his eyes were, the deep hazel color of his iris' shone with amusement as she shook his hand. She then lifted her hands and telekineticly moved the rest of his belongings to the quinjet. “I'm enhanced, I'm sorry if that surprised you.”

“Please call me Dimitri, I have a feeling that we'll be seeing more of each other around the compound.” Dimitri said. “Your gift doesn't bother me, we're all born unique, your gifts don't make you less in my eyes.”

Wanda stood still for a moment before she met his eyes again, they were open and honest, she could see the loss in his eyes, but what prevailed the most was the spark of hope. She nodded at his statement, it surprised her that a virtual stranger was more welcoming than many of her home country.

“I appreciate your sentiment, thank you, Dimitri.” Wanda said.

As the made their way to the quinjet Mae felt her phone go off,  _probably James asking me why we aren't already boarding._ She pulled it out and saw that it was Darcy letting her know that the rest of her team would officially be arriving in two days. There was a message from James,  _'your flights been cleared back to base, be safe I love you.'_ she shook her head with amusement, he never failed to watch over her. She quickly secured his sea bags before she sent a reply,  _'thank you, we're being as safe as we can, see you soon and I love you too.'_ Mae double checked that her preflight systems were warmed up and ready to go. 

“Okay Dimitri are you ready?” Mae asked.

“As I can be.” Dimitri said.

“Wanda get strapped in, I'll be in the cockpit talking to both towers.” Mae said. “There shouldn't be any turbulence, and the landing pad is clear. Quinjet 1 to Tower?”

“This is Tower, you're cleared for takeoff.”

“Thank you Tower, Quinjet 1 out.” Mae said as she launched the bird into the sky. As a child she had loved flying, there was something so freeing a defying gravity, that pull on her body as she prepared for take off was a feeling that couldn't be compared to anything else in the world. “Tony?”

“Yes love? I'm seeing you on approach.” Tony said. “How's the system working?”

“It's going great, your autopilot works wonders.” Mae said. “Touch down in 5.”

“See you soon, we'll keep the light on for you.” Tony said.

“Appreciate it.” Mae said. “Quinjet out.”

* * *

 

As the quinjet landed Mae saw that James, Steve, and Darcy were eagerly awaiting their return. She could hear Wanda, and Dimitri speaking in Russian, she heard Wanda laughing at some anecdote that Dimitri recanted. Wanda had grown so much throughout the past few months, the grief that she carried was more than most could bear, but she had soldiered on throughout the Accords and through imprisonment. Her smiles were more realistic now, her laughter sounded honest, and she was slowly coming out of her shell. It was moments like these that made Mae thankful for their group of friends, where they weren't superheros, just regular people that argued over what mindless show they'd watch after dinner. She powered down the remaining systems before she made her way to the cargo area.

“Thank you for choosing to fly with 'Air Stark', we hope that your flight was pleasant.” Mae said with a smile.

“I couldn't ask for better company.” Dimitri said with a grin.

“Charmer.” Wanda said, a light blush flushed quickly across her cheeks.

“Just bein' honest.” Dimitri said as he unlocked the brakes on his chair. “Well ladies, one more unto the breach.”

“You'll meet some of the other residents, Darcy will be your primary contact if there's something that you need. She's my acting lab manager and she also helps me with scheduling.” Mae said.

“And the other two men, neither of which are Mr. Stark.” Dimitri said. “Ah, Captain America and the Winter Soldier.”

“When they aren't working, they're known as Steve Rogers and James Barnes.” Mae said cautiously. “I'm sure you've seen them in the news, James is also a recipient of the serum and the nano technology.”

“I look forward to hearing about his experiences with the nano technology. Don't worry, I never viewed either of them as criminals, he was in a tough spot.” Dimitri said.

“Thank you for that, he'll appreciate your sentiment.” Mae said. She smiled at James and winked at him. “Are you two super soldiers standing around to add to the ambiance of the flight deck, or are you here to help with the heavy lifting?”

“I thought they looked pretty good standing here, but I did snag them both to assist with the heavy lifting, all those muscles should go towards something useful.” Darcy flippantly said. She walked up towards Dimitri and extended her hand. “Welcome to Sokovia, I'm Darcy Lewis, and I'll be your gopher while you're here.”

“Ma'am, thank you for the warm welcome, and for the briefing packet.” Dimitri said. “You're welcome to call me Dimitri.”

“Aww what a gentleman, you'll fit right in.” Darcy said with a bright smile.

“You hate it when I called you ma'am.” Steve complained.

“Yeah, but we had been introduced more than once, and it's not like I'm going to do to him, what I did to you when you called me ma'am.” Darcy explained.

“I would sincerely hope not.” Steve said with a laugh.

“You can blame that on me binging on Sons of Anarchy, I was channeling my inner Gemma.” Darcy said with a hint of exasperation. “And it wasn't my fault that you caught me on day 3 of a Science!bender, that was all Janey.”

“Anyways, this is Sergeant James Barnes, and Captain Steve Rogers. Gentleman, this is Staff Sergeant Dimitri Solvyov.” Mae said. She watched them all eye each other back and forth before the customary hand shakes were exchanged.

“Glad to have you here.” Steve said as he shook Dimitri's hand. He watched as Bucky sized him up before he extended his hand in a greeting.

“It's great meeting you both, my team studied your tactics in combat school.” Dimitri said. “Sergeant nice to meet you, I heard that you've also been a recipient of Mae's technology.”

“Her's and Tony's yes.” James said stoically. “It's great to have you here, and you probably haven't heard of some of the missteps that we went through when we were in Europe, I'd be more than happy to grab a beer with you and talk about the blunders, I mean training exercises that the good Captain thought would be useful.”

“Really? You really wanna go there?” Steve asked with a grin.

“Oh I went there.” James said with a smirk. “Let us know if you need anything, I have a few things I need to get done. Mae, Sylvie asked if you were going to do her hair for dinner tonight, she wanted Princess braids and you're evidently better at braiding than I am.”

“Okay well let her know that I will be at her disposal after we get Dimitri settled okay?” Mae said as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Will you two walking advertisements for GNC please go and put his things in his room?”

“Yes ma'am!” James said as he snapped off a salute before he leaned down to kiss her. “Love you doll.”

“Love you too, even when you're a smart ass.” Mae said.

“Hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave!” Darcy called out as Steve and James made their way through the living room. “I swear that I am very focused when I'm working.”

“Not to worry, it was interesting.” Dimitri said with a small smile.

“You handled that well.” Wanda said seriously, then she smirked. “I've seen grown men faint.”

“Well I appreciate the sentiment, I think.” Dimitri said. “And if I fainted, at least I'm already sitting, right?”

“This is very true.” Wanda said as she laughed, she followed Steve and James towards Dimitri's quarters before she threw her final remark over her shoulder. “Well you haven't left us screaming, so I suppose that's something.”

“Okay Dimitri, you have your own little bachelor pad away from home, your home has a single bedroom, an adjourning bathroom, roll in closet, and a ½ bath off the kitchenette and living room.” Darcy said as they did the initial walk through. “Any questions so far?”

“No, everything, everything is beyond my wildest expectations. I noticed that everything is more my current height. Which I appreciate by the way.” Dimitri said as he looked around. The room faced the setting sun, and the city beyond them.

“And when you're more ambulatory, the rooms will adjust to your height.” Mae said with a gentle smile.

“This is like winning the lotto, or something. Thank you, truly for this opportunity.” Dimitri said seriously.

“Do you need anything else?” Darcy inquired.

“Nope, should be fine.” Dimitri said.

“Oh, this tablet is yours to use, as is this phone. Both are Stark products, there should be tutorials along with basic set up when you first start them off. If you need anything just send one of us a message and we'll help you out.” Darcy said with a smile.

“We're having a dinner tonight and we wondered if you'd enjoy joining us.” Mae asked.

“I don't want to impose on you.” Dimitri said.

“It's not an imposition, really we'd love to have you join us.” Mae said in a gentle manner.

“Fair enough, when do I need to be ready by?” Dimitri asked.

“Dinner is at 6, so I'd say around 5:30 we'll leave.” Darcy said with a salacious wink. “And on that note I have a super soldier I need to debauch. Toodles!”

“Is she normally like that?” Dimitri asked.

“Yes, Darcy is very uninhibited in her affections, it's best to just roll with it.” Mae said, she saw that the light flush on his cheeks receded. “I have a few things to take care of, do you need anything else before I go?”

“No ma'am should be fine getting myself in order.” Dimitri said with a smile. “Go, your daughter wanted you to finish her hair.”

“That is true, just call if you need something okay? Wanda said she would be around to help too, so don't hesitate to ask if you need anything.” Mae said.

“I will, and thank you again.” Dimitri said.

“Of course, good luck settling in.” Mae said with a smile.

* * *

 

“Do I have to wear this?” Viktor complained as he held up his dress shirt and tie.

“I think it's an important dinner so yes you'll have to wear it.” Vincent said as he tried to tie his tie. “I can't tie it.”

“Mama şi tata are helping Sylvie right now, but after they are done I'm sure Tata will help.” Viktor said as he pulled his arms through his dress shirt. He ignored his brothers stare when he called Mae and James 'Mom and Dad'. “What? You're looking at me like I grew another head.”

“Well, we've never really called them that.” Vincent said, he watched his brother shrug his shoulders before smiling.

“They adopted us, and Wanda said that it means they're our Mom and Dad, at least in theory.” Viktor said.

“I understand that, just wasn't expecting you to refer to them as that yet.” Vincent said. “I know Sylvie has referred to Mae as Mama before when she's had a nightmare.”

“So? Don't make a big deal about it, it's nice.” Viktor said with a grin. “Come on, let's go see if Tata can help with our ties.”

They made their way to the living room and stopped to watch James weave a ribbon into Sylvie's hair. Mae was on the phone smiling and laughing while she added another ribbon to the other side of Sylvie’s braid. They patiently sat down waiting for them to finish working on Sylvie's hair. Vincent sat and thought about the conversation he'd shared with his brother. They had been together for years now, when they had been at the orphanage they stuck together, because there was safety in numbers. Viktor had said bitterly that he hoped no one adopted them because they were better off on their own. Before Vincent and Sylvie had met Viktor, he had been returned from a possible home, he had been bitter and angry. Usually it was Sylvie that would calm him down and ask him what was wrong, but one night Vincent had sat with him while he complained about being returned.

_\----flashback----_

“ _Who cares about being adopted anyways.” Viktor said as he flung a pebble across the room._

“ _One day maybe we'll find a home together.” Vincent said as he tried to placate his friend. “Until then you have me, and Sylvie.”_

“ _It's not like I even wanted to stay.” Viktor said with an angry glare. “We don't need a Mama and a Tata to make us a family anyways.”_

“ _Well, we have each other and that's enough for me.” Vincent said. “But on the off chance that someone does adopt us, it's all of us or none of us.”_

“ _Okay, wanna swear on it?” Viktor asked, his normal bravado wavered as he met Vincent's eyes, as if he was waiting for the other boy to laugh at him._

“ _I swear that either the three of us go together, or none of us go. Brother's until the end.” Vincent said solemnly, he stuck his hand out and waited for Viktor to grab his hand._

“ _I swear that either the three of us go together, or none of us go. Brother's until the end.” Viktor said as he gripped the other boy's hand. “Brothers.”_

“ _Always, means we'll always be there for each other, and we both watch over Sylvie.” Vincent said._

“ _Guess having a younger sister isn't such a bad thing.” Viktor said with a smirk. “Come on, the baker said he'd give me a few pastries if I took out the garbage.”_

“ _Race you there?” Vincent said with a smile._

“ _Fine, but no cheating.” Viktor said as they tore through the streets chasing each other as they made their way to the bakers store._

_\----flashback end-----_

“Sorry about that.” Mae said as she slipped her phone into her purse. “Sylvie, you look just like a Princess.”

“Boys, let's get those ties fixed.” James said as he crouched in front of them, he began straightening out their ties as he recounted a memory of his first tie. “I remember the first time I had to wear a tie, granted it was for Mass, but still never forgot it. By the time I was 'done' the tie was wrapped like a scarf around my neck, my Ma was laughin' so hard she almost fell over. There you go, all done.”

“Where are we going?” Sylvie asked.

“We are going to a really nice restaurant so we can celebrate New Years as a family.” James said as he smiled up at Mae, she was trying to covertly take a few photos of them. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, that was one of my neurologist, Dr. Dean Remington, he was letting me know that he'll be in tomorrow. We had a few scholastic adventures together and he wondered who else was going to be on our team.” Mae said as she helped Sylvie slip on her coat. She handed out coats for the boys as well as a dark blue pea-coat for James. She knew it wasn't his favorite jacket but it went well with the suit he was wearing. “Why don't you three head downstairs and we will be there in a few moments.”

“Okay!” they called as they left the apartment.

“He worked for Stark Industries after serving in the Navy alongside the Marines, right?” James said as he helped Mae slide into her coat, he felt her stiffen as he recited the abbreviated history of one of her colleagues. “I may not be head of security here, but I thought it would be important to know who's going to be here.”

“You memorized their dossiers? James, how did you get their dossiers?” Mae asked calmly. _Why would he double check to see who I was hiring? How did he even get their...never mind Soviet trained spy._

“I may have gone through your records.” James said, he watched Mae's face slide into a mask of indifference. _You do realize, that you just seriously pissed her off right?_ ** _Technically we both looked at them, since we're the same person._** _Right, seriously though, she's pissed._ ** _I'd say we both better tread carefully._** _Probably a good plan, when a woman gets quiet, that's when you know you're screwed._ ** _You'd know more than me, pretty sure you've been slapped by a pissed off woman more often than I have._** _Not the point. NOT the point._ “On a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is an atomic bomb, just how mad are you?”

“James, I appreciate how much you value my safety, but I don't think there's a scale that's been invented yet to accurately gauge just how pissed off I am.” Mae said stiffly as she finished getting ready. “I understand your reasoning, but I am not happy about it. If you wanted to know who I was interviewing, and hiring all you had to do was ask. The dossiers that Darcy and I worked on, were confidential, for more than a few reasons.”

“I apologize for over stepping **_your_ ** boundaries.” James said as he leaned over to pull her against his chest. “I didn't do it to start a fight with you.”

“I know, you're being your normal, very protective self, but James you can't just go through my files like that!” Mae said as she pushed him away from her. “I have a dozen different clauses that keeps me and my research protected, and I can't have you going through my files like that James, it could compromise the work I've done.”

“I understand, don't you think you're over reacting a little bit?” James asked, and in that same heartbeat he knew that what he said wasn't what she was looking for. **_FUCK._** “And I've just slipped my foot into my mouth again. Mae, I'm sorry alright, but these are people I don't know that will be in close quarters with you, and our family. I had to know who you were working with, and what their backgrounds were.”

“James I love you, but right now, I am honestly too stunned to really say anything constructive, at least right now. Let's table this for now, and we'll revisit it, later.” Mae said, she raised her eyes to meet his before she stepped forward and pressed a kiss to the side of his cheek. “This isn't me conceding defeat, really you've just made me rethink my network security.”

“Mae?” James said.

“Yes?” Mae said.

“I really am sorry, and I promise that I won't go through your files unless you give me permission to do so.” James said. He reached out to run his thumb across her cheek.

“I know, really I do understand your motivations, I just wasn't prepared to hear that you didn't trust me enough to vet my own employees. And I know that you didn't do it by yourself, I'm assuming that Steve helped you. He's far more technologically savvy that he pretends, you better hope that Darcy doesn't find out or she truly will string you both up by your toes. If that comes to pass, I am not saving your bacon either.” Mae said solemnly. “We better get down there before the kids riot.”

“We wouldn't want that to happen.” James said with a smirk, _should probably warn Stevie to be on his best behavior, though she be but little, she is fierce_. “Am I forgiven?”

“Always.” Mae said as she kissed him deeply, she used her thumb to wipe away the trace of lipstick that her kiss had left behind. “I hate it when we fight.”

“I hate it when we fight, and we can't turn it into make-up sex.” James said as he wagged his eye brows at her suggestively. “Come on doll, they're playin' our song.”

“Charming ass.” Mae said as she looped her arm with his.  
“All I heard was charming.” James said as he laughed at her expression of mock annoyance.

“So Dimitri, you're originally Russian born correct?” Tony asked as he popped a bite of food into his mouth.

“I am, I had my green card when I lived in America before I signed up with the Marines.” Dimitri said. “I wanted my citizenship, and it was the best way for me to get it and get money for school.”

“That's very admirable.” Steve said with a kind smile.

“Thank you.” Dimitri said. “I am a little in awe, of you all.”

“At the end of the day we're just normal men and dames, women.” Steve said as a blush crept up his neck.

“Maybe you all are, but I am genius, billionaire, playboy and philanthropist.” Tony said with a smirk.

“He still needs lessons in humility.” Steve said with an exaggerated shake of his head.

“We've tried everything, but he still isn't fully house broken.” Rhodey said with a sigh.

“See, we're more like a dysfunctional family than anything.” James said with a smile.

“I see that.” Dimitri said with a smile. “It is very obvious that you care for each other as a family would.”

“We do, sure we've had our infighting and everything, but at the end of the day we do stand together.” Tony stated.

“A camaraderie that is easy to see, but hard to define. Good teams become families.” Dimitri said.

Everyone calmly sat and chatted between themselves as they finished dinner. Tony had called earlier to finalize the preparations, they'd been ushered up to the roof of the building where they would have dessert, and then they could watch the city's firework display. He'd made sure to have adequate seating, and a few fire pits were set up to ward away the cold chill of the December air. As everyone followed him upstairs he thought about the past year, and what had happened; what it had taken before he got himself back to a healthier mindset. Being around most of his team mates was greatly enhancing his heath, he felt more and more like himself. He knew that he hadn't been dealing with the guilt he felt from Ultron in a healthy manner, but he wasn't drinking himself into oblivion anymore so that was a point in his favor. He ran his hand across his eyes, blinking away the decisions he now had to live with. He watched as James wrapped an arm around Mae, her eyes shone with unabashed affection. _Maybe one day, I'll find that again, maybe._ He raised his glass and tipped his head at Barnes, _James_. _Best of luck to you both, maybe this life won't tear you from each other._

“It's beautiful up here.” Mae said as she leaned against James. She watched as Sylvie curled up with Wanda, she'd taken to her like a fish to water. Viktor and Vincent were trying to stealth maneuver themselves between their friends, their laughter was evident and rang as clear as a bell. She had noticed that James had been more cagey than usual, he would look for her constantly, as if she would vanish from thin air. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I'm fine, honestly.” James said with a soft smile. “Trying to find my courage, I suppose.”

“And why do you need to find your courage?” Mae asked as she pressed a kiss to his lips.

He wrapped his arms around her and dipped her, much like the iconic display of the sailor kissing the woman on VJ day. She laughed against his lips, he smiled against her lips and as they disengaged he nodded to Steve. He watched as their friends turned to give him the floor, _ain't it a bitch, haven't been this nervous in a long time._ _ **You goin' to man up, or do I need to step in?**_ _I'm just admiring her, she deserves far more than we'll ever be able to give her._ _ **I think that we'll give her everything she wants and more, or we wouldn't be doin' this.**_ _Can't argue with you there._ Mae stood next to him, clearly aware that their friends were all smiling at them. Her brown eyes shone with every passing emotion, he took a knee in front of her, and he watched as her eyes widened in surprise. He pulled out a small box that had been burning a hole in his pocket since he bought it, he opened it and held it flat in his palm.

“Mae, I never thought in all my years, that I'd find someone that was willing to accept me, and my past. You've done that and more, you helped give me a future I can be proud of, and I can't imagine my life without you by my side. I love you more than all the stars in the sky, I love our children more than I can ever put into words, and I promise to stand with you through anything that may come our way. Will you do the honor of becoming my wife?” James said on bended knee, he felt like his heart was beating so strongly that it would escape his chest.

It was if time stopped, he watched as a light breeze tangled in her hair, making it halo out around her. Tears shone in her eyes, and for a brief moment he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and hold her tightly against him. He could hear the crowd below them counting down until the New Year arrived. She reached out and caressed his jaw line, she could feel the tension vibrating through his body, her thumb brushed against his lower lip.

“Yes, I would be honored to be called your wife.” Mae said as she pulled him by his tie to her lips.

The raucous clapping, and wolf whistles that followed were the music to their perfect moment. He could hear everyone cheering them on as they continued to hold each other, the boom of the fireworks above them were enhanced by the luminous explosions. He felt their children run up to both of them, and hug their legs. He reached down, and pulled Sylvie up into his arms, her laughter sounded like a bell.

“Congratulations, both of you.” Tony said. “Terminator if you hurt her, there isn't a hole deep enough.”

“Honestly, I would be more afraid of her wrath.” James said resolutely.

“That is a wise mentality.” Tony said.

“Thank you Tony.” Mae said as she kissed his cheek.

She smiled as their friends came up and congratulated them, but in her heart she only had eyes for her now fiancee. Darcy and Wanda made their way towards them, she watched as Sylvie yawned in James' arms, his eyes shining bright with affection.

“Well congratulations! Looks like we're both engaged to fossils.” Darcy said with a megawatt grin.

“He has good taste, though he did ask for our input.” Wanda said. “We're also taking the kids tonight so you can celebrate. Wouldn't want them hearing something they can't unhear.”

“Wanda!” Darcy exclaimed.

“What? You live with a psychic, I may not see it, but I hear it. Quite loudly too.” Wanda said a self satisfied smirk.

“As in, everything?” Darcy asked.

“Yes, you're quite vocal, your psychic presence is hard to ignore. The first time I heard you and Steve, I couldn't look him in the eye for weeks.” Wanda said with a blush. “He swears like a sailor, James is worse.”

“Good to know, I'd say we will try and be quiet, but that probably won't happen.” Darcy said. “Wait, you hear Bucky and Mae going at it!”

“Yes? And?” Wanda asked.

“You aren't giving her shit!” Darcy expressed.

“That's because she isn't nearly as loud as you, James is much more vocal than she is.” Wanda said in a matter of fact tone. “It was difficult to meet his eyes in training, but if I don't he calls me on it. Steve is much less of a task master in that regard.”

“Good to know. So Mae, you know that this means we get to plan a bachelorette party right?” Darcy said as she nudged Wanda with her elbow.

“Like go to a strip club and get drunk?” Mae asked with a wry smile.

“Well the strippers don't have anything on our boys, but it's like a rite of passage!” Darcy exclaimed.

“I have never been to one of those.” Wanda said.

“You can't deny Wanda!!!” Darcy said excitedly.

“Darcy, if we get arrested that is so on you this time.” Mae said.

“Arrested?” Wanda questioned.

“Only counts if they actually file the paperwork, that cop was amazing.” Darcy said.

“Why does this feel like a potential bad idea?” Mae asked. “Though if we get arrested James can't say shit.”

“True, Steve can't either.” Darcy said as she tapped at her lip. “Anyways, Sylvie is about dead on her feet, we'll take them and see you for brunch tomorrow.”

“Sounds wonderful, I'll see you both tomorrow. Thank you.” Mae said.

“It's like practice for us.” Darcy said as she looped her arm through Steve's.

“Something like that, ready?” Steve asked.

“Yep I sure am! Don't you two crazy kids do anything we wouldn't, Wanda will hear you.” Darcy said with a jovial wave.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

“So, was that a good surprise?” James asked as he unzipped Mae's dress, his knuckles grazed her spine and he felt her shiver. He leaned down and left a trail of kisses from behind her ear, to the juncture of her neck and shoulder. “You are so beautiful, why you fell for a mook like me, I'll never know.”

“One of the best surprises, and you are an easy man to love.” Mae said, the silk of her dress pooled around her feet, and she carefully stepped out of her clothing. She turned and saw that James' eyes were nearly glowing with anticipation. “I will love you always, and forever.”

“I know, and I will always love you, and cherish you.” James said. “I am vastly over dressed.”

“Let's do something about that.” Mae said as she began unbuttoning his shirt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient in waiting for me to update, I was hit with writers block like no ones business, so thank you for being patient with me. I really hope you enjoyed the engagement, it was really fun to write. The foreshadowing in the beginning of the chapter outta make the gears in your minds turn a little. 
> 
> I'd love to hear from you, find me on tumblr bellenuit45.
> 
> BIG THANKS to Melconnor2007 one of my amazing friends and my beta, she is truly an inspiration. Thank you to those that have encouraged me and told me to keep going, I appreciate it. <3


	25. REWORKING

I am finally reworking my fics, yes all of the larger ones, and they'll finally be finished. I appreciate every single one of you that has taken the time to comment, leave a kudo, and to those that I've connected with via social media. 

My plan is to rework, and write more on each of these, I am starting with Twists of Fate and moving down the line. I will be reposting them from each beginning and then following through until the end of work. Thank you again for you patience, your kind words, and everything you've done as my readers. I would give you each a cookie if I could. Your words have kept me going as a person, so thank you, sincerely. 

<3 Love you all-

Elle


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